Emblems & Partners

She didn't give Charlie an answer. Instead she returned to work alone to deal with the fallout of throwing her badge at Tidwell and drinking mightily while in the program. It was the second part that bothered Charlie. LAPD would take her back – she was a great cop, but the program failure undermined their trust in her. Who knew how much Tidwell shared and with whom?

But Dani was fiercely independent and he knew space and freedom were prerequisites for her so Charlie dropped her at her place with a slow, sweet kiss to remember him by and drove home alone. He would meditate and wait for Reese, but not without lingering concerns.

Dani puttered around her house for several hours before calling her mother and their conversation, which started with light hearted and simple catching up quickly became serious. Although Dani talked frankly with her mother about what Roman claimed to have done to Jack Reese shortly after they released her from the hospital. Neither woman was willing to accept the tough old Irishman's death without a body. Now Dani was telling her mother that she was considering looking for him and Roya Reese knew her daughter's search would take her to dark places, dangerous places.

"The Department would be okay with you looking into your own father's disappearance?" Roya asked.

"I wouldn't actually be with the Department," Dani cringed as she said the words.

Stone silence returned down the phone line, her mother expected more and Dani knew it. She had the same way of demanding more with a simple look or in this case with her absolute silence.

"I'd be with Crews," she offered. She could envision the stern look on her mother's face that preceded the sigh she heard come down the phone line like a fell wind.

"Your father hates that man," Roya stated the obvious to her daughter.

"Yeah, well I don't," Dani spoke sharply to her mother. Then she relented as she heard the slight sniff that spoke of tears from her mother. "Look, Crews is tough. He's smart and I trust him. LAPD is not interested in finding him, mom. Crews and I are."

"I see you have already decided," her mother became curt and was obviously angry, a potent combination of fear for and disappointment in her headstrong daughter. "Dani, if you choose this man over your career – he must be more than just someone you work with…" she fished for more from her reticent only child.

"He is…" was all Dani would say, "I gotta go mom," she said softly ending the call.

She put on her pistol and magazine holder with the space where her badge should be empty at her waist. She examined herself in the mirror.

"Dani what are you doing?" she asked her reflection. She closed her eyes, exhaled and rotated her shoulders to expel the tenseness she felt and she heard Crews' voice in her head. Teachers open the door – you enter by yourself. The Buddha was right, no one but her could do this.

She walked stiffly to the elevators from the cool of the parking garage convinced every officer she passed noticed the absence of her badge on her belt. She realized in the elevator that she was holding her breath. She flexed and released her hands, wishing for Crews' stability and strength beside her but knowing this was a journey she had to make alone.

She approached the steel and glass office holding her Captain behind a layer of drawn white shades. She knocked on the open door frame and he looked up. His face held a mixture of joy and trepidation. He looked as if he might be ill.

"Dan… Detective Reese," he stammered rising.

"Could I have a word Captain?" she asked formally.

"Sure. Come in sit down," he offered.

"I…uh...I think I'd rather stand," she said stronger than she felt.

"Okay," he eased back into his seat. He opened a drawer and produced her shield. "I think you'll be wanting this back," he held the shiny silver badge out to her.

Dani reached for it and took the object of many years' desires into her hands. It felt cold to her. It had never felt that way before. She flashed to Crews' shield lying in the dirt along the roadside as Roman's men divested him of anything that signaled his position with LAPD. Now IAD had his badge.

"Wasn't sure I was getting this back…" she wondered aloud. He nodded speechless for the moment, and then she added something telling, "not sure I want it back."

"Dani," he began his voice with thick with emotion, "if you need some time…"

"I don't," she started and he exhaled a big sigh of relief a little too soon.

"That's great cause we caught a double homicide last night and I could really use you. We can partner you with Jakes or you can take a rookie," he offered.

"I have a partner," she dug in her heels and her scowl returned. This Dani Reese he knew – fiercely defiant, stubborn and angry.

"Dani be reasonable. Crews is suspended. He worked with Seever and Stark when you were…out," he avoided reference to the FBI, which he knew she strongly believed had been nothing but a set up.

"I have a partner," she said her tone more solid. She was angry, she was certain, sure and she stepped toward his desk. "Keep this," she placed the badge on his desk. "Unless and until my partner comes back, then neither do I," she was defiant and beautifully lit by a fire within. She was made of steel and iron. She smiled at him for the first time in two weeks, turned her heel and left.

Two minutes after she left, Tidwell's phone rang and he distractedly answered it, "Yeah, Homicide Tidwell." The voice on the other end said "hold for the Deputy Commissioner" before leaving him alone in his office with Dani Reese's badge sitting in the middle of his desk. He carefully put it in his drawer hoping she'd changed her mind, but knowing it was more likely LA would freeze over.

Pizza & Professions

Several hours later, Charlie was attempting seated mediation when his cell rang again, jarring him for the tranquility and balance he'd achieved. He realized that he brought the phone to the patio because of his inability to "let go" of being connected to Reese. He did not want to be unavailable if she needed him, but as he flipped the phone open he recognized his desire to control events was something he needed to release – it was illusory – but knowing and doing are two entirely different things.

"Crews," he said tightly.

"It's Tidwell," the tense voice on the other end began. Charlie said nothing knowing Reese was in better place than when last he and the Captain spoke. He was no longer worried about her – he never worried about himself.

"What'd you do to my Detective Crews?" Tidwell was miffed. Charlie could hear the rancor in his voice.

Take a deep breath – it calms the mind, Charlie thought. At least he didn't ask what you do to my girlfriend Charlie reasoned knowing that he would not have reacted well to that characterization. Both men knew that Dani Reese was no longer with Kevin Tidwell in any meaningful way. What Tidwell did not know, could not know was how tantalizingly close she was to being Charlie's and she was not something he was ever letting go of – Zen be damned.

"What do you mean?" Charlie asked cautiously.

"She just came in here and quit. At least I think she quit - cause I gave her shield back and she wouldn't take it. Said she wasn't coming back – and I quote - unless or until you did." His commentary was an accusation.

"Huh," Charlie grunted an acknowledgement he'd heard the man, but offering nothing informative in response.

"What the fuck did you say to her? What did you do to her?"

"People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer a suffering that is familiar," Charlie's Zen musing answered the other man's contempt.

"I don't even know what that means," Tidwell admitted with a heavy sigh.

"It means Reese no longer fears the unknown," Charlie said quietly. "Her choices are her own."

"I don't like the idea of her being out there alone," Tidwell gave voice to his fears.

"She isn't alone," Charlie staked his claim to his tempestuous young partner.

"So that's how it is?"

"We are connected. We always have been. Dani sees that now," Charlie softly told his rival that her connection to him was beyond the physical.

"I care about her Crews," Tidwell metaphorically stuck his chin out waiting for Crews to hit him. "I don't want to see her get hurt. Tell me you'll keep her safe. Tell me you know how this ends."

"Who can say how things will end? Perhaps there is no end."

Tidwell growled down the line, "Crews."

"She's safe with me. I will always keep her safe. The only time she isn't is when we aren't together," his intimation was clear. You split us up, she got taken, she got hurt and I'm not going to let that happen again. There was no goodbye Tidwell simply hung up.

Dani went home but without a "day job" it became a bit mundane inside her apartment, the place seemed small and confining. She wanted to call Crews, but was unsure and did not want to appear needy. Instead, she settled for cleaning her apartment until a reasonable number of hours passed – or he called her, but then she realized Charlie very seldom did that – called her.

Hours passed as she did laundry, dusted, vacuumed and gave her kitchen and bathroom floors the attention they thoroughly deserved but that she seldom had the time and luxury for. By the time she finished it was 7PM and still no call from Crews. She felt like she'd accomplished a lot of busy work, but was no closer to what she was going to do. She was still sitting on her couch in sweats with her hair up fingering the speed dial number for him, when there was a knock on her door.

She tiptoed to the peephole and looked outside. What she saw there made her smile; it was Charlie with a pizza. She opened the door and arched her eyebrows at him quizzically.

"I think I've been very patient and yes, this is a transparent excuse to be here, but you gotta eat right?" he questioned a bit unsure whether he was crowding her.

Her broad smile let him know it was not a mistake.

"I wanted to give you time, but all day I just tinkered and wondered so I caved and just… Wow, this place is clean. It even smells clean," his nose distracted him.

Again Dani's eyebrows registered a slight quirk prompting more from him, "not that it wasn't clean before, but it's…." he let out a low whistle implying his fascination with the energy she'd put into her afternoon, "Are you…uh… gonna talk to me?" he wondered if his appearance was too much, too soon.

"This…" she gestured to the room behind her, "was to take my mind off the fact that I am currently unemployed," she admitted.

"Yeah, I know," he said softly.

"You know?"

"Tidwell," he explained.

She gave him an odd look and a slight smile before a mischievous look crossed her face. "How come you're not saying all this to me in Dutch?"

He looked flummoxed.

"Last Christmas, you went on and on about how you could learn Dutch in four days. You've had two weeks. So…." She teased.

Charlie's smile reached the megawatt range when he realized she was joking with him. "Hungry?" he waved the pizza box.

"Yeah, I could eat," she smiled at him, turned and walked into her kitchen, "Did you want a plate?"

Charlie was caught flat- footed, the box already open and a slice in hand, "uh, sure…I'm not a messy eater, but I'd rather not take the chance of you shooting me for messing up your clean house." Dani rolled her eyes and handed him a plate.

They ate in companionable silence, the issue between them tabled for the moment.

When the pizza was done, Charlie reclined and asked what'd he wanted to all day, "so I guess you've decided to come with me on this adventure?" She nodded.

"People are going to think you need your head examined you know," he teased.

"People? What people? I think I need to have my head examined, but I didn't make this decision with my head, I listened to my instincts, followed my gut and…"she made him wait for it, "my heart." His soft smile was worth the wait. It was lopsided and goofy, the type she liked the best from him – genuine.

Charlie walked the pizza box to the dumpster outside and returned to wash his hands, drying them on his jeans. "I guess I should be going then," he said awkwardly.

"You're leaving?"

"Yeah, well I didn't want to assume anything…" he trailed off at the stern look on her face, "So, it's okay if I sleep over then?"

She rolled her eyes and retreated into the bedroom.

He followed her and watched as she brushed her teeth, with his hands stuffed in his pockets. She left the bathroom to find him staring at her and a bit off balance.

"Crews," she demanded with her hands on her hips, "we aren't seven and I'm not going to pitch you a tent." He sighed his relief and took off his shirt.

"I don't want you to think that you have to… you know," he was sweet and entirely out of his element. It was like being out of the mansion and in her bedroom had some potent debilitating effect on him. Gone was the confidant self assured man from the other night, he was just Charlie, not some superhero.

She climbed into bed and rested on her elbows as she watched him take off his jeans.

He climbed into bed beside her and cautiously gathered her to his chest as if she night break. He cradled her gently and whispered into her hair, "It doesn't always have to be about fire and passion, sometimes it can be about comfort and safety. How about we just sleep tonight? Would that be okay? Would you like that?"

She nodded against his chest. She didn't tell him that she didn't let men sleep at her house; that in all the months she'd dated Tidwell he'd never once slept in her bed. Dani's bed was sacrosanct and it spoke volumes that she let Crews in it – but no one knew it but her.

He turned her on, but tonight they both had a lot on their minds. Charlie got that intuitively, he didn't push, he didn't even try anything. He just settled for just being there – it was enough for him. It was enough for them both.

Dani awoke and the sun was high in the sky, she knew it was late and she didn't sleep late. The warm feeling of Charlie Crews wrapped around and draped over her accounted for her feeling of security, but his gentle breathing also let her know he was not asleep. He sighed when her eyes fluttered open and his clear blue eyes stared down at her. She noticed for the first time the tiny crinkles in the corners of his eyes when his smile was not forced. It made her blush that he could be so real and relaxed with her. True to his word, Crews tried nothing, although during the night she recalled planting a kiss on his collarbone that made him tense with excitement, before drifting back to sleep.

"Hi," his voice murmured lightly as his lips brushed her temple. His closeness, the scent of him and the low timbre of his voice did things to her that made her want to groan. How could he incite those feelings with a single word and the brush of his lips along her face? She buried her face in his chest and smiled against his skin.

Charlie's sigh was one of complete contentment. "What did you want to do today?" he asked while stroking her back and running his finger through her hair.

"I guess find a job," she returned them to reality.

"Or you could clean my house," he kidded.

When her head snapped up, he kissed her quickly, drawing the breath from her lips. He enveloped her in his embrace and his hand lit little fires across her skin. They rapidly began hurtling toward a heated encounter, as she fought to get closer to a man already intertwined with her intimately. He growled his frustration and pushed her onto her back.

"Take these off," he demanded, frustrated by clothing between her and his bare skin.

The layers of sensitive, caring, sweet Charlie melted away as he was replaced with the demanding, insistent, impatient, completely un-Zen man striping her clothes off. She laughed at his torment. "I fail to see what's funny about this," he talked into the hollow of her throat as he struggled to disrobe her.

"You," she expressed delicious amusement, "where's your Zen now, Tiger?"

"You rob me of it," he was breathless as her shirt finally came over her head. He was excited and it was glorious the way his hair was tousled and face flushed. Every freckle seemed to stand out in the sunlight and she raked her hands up his bare sides as he voraciously attacked her neck.

"Hey stop that," she chided. He lifted his head, his eyes soft and questioning found hers seeking the cause of her dismay. "You'll leave hickeys," she grumbled but smiled underneath her rebuke. He arched his brows and with a wicked grin returned to manifesting signs and emblems of his passion on her body.

She sighed knowing he was going to leave hickeys and she found she just didn't care. She briefly considered the idea she'd traded her silver Detective's shield for one built of Charlie's Zen – but tossed the comparison aside because even when Charlie's shield was cracked or absent - he protected her, warmed her and LAPD never had.