Welcome to the newest chapter of Married... With Ninjas! I do not own Naruto or Married... With Children! R&R!
As Al overreacted to Peg's parents coming as usual, Naruto and the gang stood there as they watched Al run around the house, trying to find something that could protect himself.
"Darn it, I smell like shoes..." Al muttered as he opened the refrigerator. "I need to find something to get that smell off me, she might think that I'm food..."
"She can't be that bad can she?" Sakura asked as Al, Bud, and Kelly all laughed at the remark.
"She's as big as a house and as hungry as a mammoth," Al replied as Naruto chuckled at this. "The woman is so fat that she can barely even fit through the house!"
"Al, now stop making them scared of my mother," Peg scowled as she smiled reassuringly at the ninjas. "Now my mother is a little overweight, Al I will kill you if you say anything..." Al shut his mouth, prepared to make fun of Peg's mother again.
"But..." Peg continued. "She is a very nice person and only confused someone for food once and tried to eat them."
"They were dressed as a burger, and they had to call the fire department to pry her off his arm," Bud said as Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other in unison. "But don't worry, just make sure of you have food to stay at least 10 feet away from her if you want to keep your arms."
"Also, don't ever try to take food from her," Kelly warned. "She will literally rip your arms off..."
"I'm so out of here!" Naruto yelled as Kakashi put a hand on his shoulder.
"Now kids, stop scaring them," Peg said as she looked at the kids. "Now go upstairs and make yourselves look nice for Grandma OK?"
"What do you want us to do, throw some ketchup on our heads?" Bud asked as he and Kelly walked up the stairs.
"Ninjas!" Al shouted as he walked up to Kakashi. "We now have a new mission. I refuse to stay in this house as long as that whale is residing here as well! You kids stay here, me and Kenpachi here are going to the Jiggly Room!"
"That's Kakashi," Kakashi corrected as Al completely ignored this. "And what and where is this Jiggly Room?"
"It's a strip club and it's located downtown away from Peg, the kids, and her fat whale of a mother!" Al exclaimed happily as he grabbed his coat from inside the closet.
"What's a strip club?" Kakashi asked as Al gasped, dropping his coat from his hand.
"You have never been to a strip club?" Al asked as Kakashi shook his head no. "Well let me tell you what a strip club is son. A strip club is a wondrous place where you get to eat cheap food and watch ladies get naked!" Kakashi's mouth opened wide after hearing this, everyone looking up at Kakashi.
"I guess I will have to check this place out to see if it is safe for you Mr. Bundy," Kakashi replied as Sakura and Peg sighed.
"Such a man," Peg muttered as she turned on the television. "So what time you gonna be back home Al?"
"I'm not coming back home Peg!" Al shouted as he headed to the door. "So don't go crying or looking for me got it?" Peg nodded as him and Kakashi walked out the door.
"Your not worried that he's leaving?" Sakura asked as she sat down next to Peg.
"Of course not," Peg replied as she picked up a box of bon bons. "He will be back dear trust me on this. You will understand that when you are married, they will always be back, no matter how many threats they make. Here, try a bon bon." Peg handed the box to Sakura, Sakura looking at the box skeptically.
"Um, what are they?" she asked as Peg looked at her with shock.
"You have never tried a bon bon before?" Peg asked as she sat closer to Sakura. "God, I have so much to teach you about a woman in Chicago!"
"Are you getting a bad feeling?" Naruto asked Sasuke as he simply shrugged. "Maybe we should stop this..." Suddenly there was a knock on the door, Marcy and Steve walking into the house.
"Well hello there ninjas," Steve said as Marcy chuckled. "No missions today?"
"We're on our mission," Sasuke answered. Steve and Marcy nodded with smiles as they both went and sat on the couch.
"So you are telling me that you never had bon bons, never sat on the couch and just relaxed and have worked your entire life?"
"Yeah," Sakura answered as Peg wrapped her in a hug.
"You are in Chicago now dear, we will get that out of you," Peg said as Sakura took another bon bon.
"I really like these things," Sakura said with a smile as she took another bite.
As Al and Kakashi walked into the Jiggly Room, Kakashi almost fell as he watched lovely woman walk around and dance on the poles.
"Best mission ever," Kakashi thought as he looked around with a wide grin. He put his book inside his pocket and sat down at a table with Al.
"Yeah, free popcorn and water for me and my friend here," Al said to a waitress as she passed the table.
"Big spender," the waitress muttered as she walked away.
"So what do you think of this place Kenpachi?" Al asked as Kakashi looked around and watched the woman.
"This place is... magical," Kakashi answered with a glint in his eyes. "I'm so lucky the 5th Hokage doesn't know I'm doing this..."
"The five what?" Al asked as the waitress brought the popcorn and water. "Whatever, but here." Al handed Kakashi three single dollars, Kakashi taking them and looking down at them with surprise.
"What do I do with these?" Kakashi asked as Al pointed to the woman on the stage.
"Get them to dance for you," Al said with a grin as Kakashi looked at the money with widened eyes. Al guided Kakashi up to the stage as Kakashi handed one of the girls a dollar. Kakashi grinned happily as a the woman in front of him's bra landed on top of his head.
It had been at least ten minutes that Marcy and Peg had talked to Sakura. As Sasuke and Naruto listened in with fear, even Steve had gotten up from the couch and stood with the men as Kelly joined into the conversation as well. Bud joined with the men as well as they listen to the women talk about men.
"I have liked Sasuke for so long, but all he does is ignore me," Sakura said as Sasuke looked away, all the men looking at him.
"I say kick him to the curb and take out his organs," Kelly muttered as the women all looked over at Sasuke.
"This is bad, stop them loser," Sasuke whispered into Naruto's ear as Naruto laughed in response.
"Sorry Mr. Cool, that is your problem now," Naruto said as Sakura continued.
"And then we have annoying Naruto, who stalks me twenty four seven and actually expects me to go on a date with him," Sakura said as Naruto looked with his mouth open wide.
"You mean the blond haired troll right?" Kelly asked as Sakura nodded. Sasuke chuckled now as Naruto angrily turned away.
"You know, Steve doesn't even bother with me anymore," Marcy said as she took a bon bon. "He sits there with Al and his manhood and just ignores me! I'm so lonely!" Steve cleared his throat as he looked down at his watch.
"Um Marcy, isn't it time for that back rub you wanted me to give you?" Steve asked as the women all looked at him angrily. Steve shut up as the men all exchanged glances. As this occurred, Kakashi and Al walked in, smiling and joking as they walked into the living room.
"Wait, something is wrong, there is a disturbance," Al said as he looked around. He then looked at the couch, a bunch of angry women looking back at him. "Oh no, it's even worst then I thought. They let the herd go roam together! I know what's going on here... PMS..." The men all gulped as they looked back at the women.
Men vs. Women! Who will win in this battle of the sexes! And who will stop the hugeness of Peg's mom! Find out next chapter!