As he walked to the bridge Jim Kirk kept telling himself that Spock was a very logical person and would see how leaving Ronat at a medical facility that dealt with special cases was the best and most logical thing to do. Spock would see it was the only thing he could do as it was part of Starfleet regulations. That was it. The regulations. He could point out the regulations to Spock. So many times Spock had quoted the regulations to him it would be good to be able to repay him in kind. The thought of finally being able to quote the regulations back to Spock made him smile for a moment then a single word started to echo in his mind. No! No,he would not think that and was more relieved than he could remember when the turbolift's doors opened and he was on the Bridge.

"Captain," he turned and looked at his Communications Officer

"Go ahead, Uhura."

"Our orders have come in. We are to go return to Command for a four day leave period during which the ship is to be refitted with some new equipment and all senior crew to be briefed on a new assignment that will fully not only test the new equipment but expand our boundaries. I acknowledged receipt of the message and let them know you would confirm."

Kirk nodded. He felt relieved that he could stop thinking about having to tell Spock he truth about Ronat. "Get them for me, I will confirm it." As he waited he knew he would also have to explain why he had not yet sent a report of events on the planet.

"Do you want it in your,"

"I'll take it here," he looked at Uhura and saw something about how she was looking at him, slowly he stood and walked over to her station certain there was something that she did not want to say before the others, "What?"

"They asked about your report."

Kirk swallowed and nodded as Uhura would be able to see he had not sent any communications to Command. "I, I explained that we had been experiencing problems with some communications but I was sure we would shortly have it rectified."

Nobody had told him of problems with the communications when he had been on the bridge before. As he was about to question her she smiled, "I just forgot to tell them that those problems were about four standard months ago and it was just a faulty connection that was easily fixed. I thought you might need some time, Sir."

"Thank you, Lieutenant." He lightly touched her shoulder as he turned. Damn! He did have a good crew, a crew who risked so much for him and who understood him so well. "Helm, set coordinates for Command and set at Warp four."

"Course plotted and laid in, estimated time till arrival twenty-seven days "

"Go."

"Uhura,"

"Advising Command of our estimated time of arrival, Sir."

He looked around the bridge and this time looked at the relieving Science Officer and knew the man was one he had seen Spock often talking with and almost joking with. Had Spock recognized the voice he would have named the person and not said he had heard a conversation. So many times Spock had been able to immediately recognize a person just by their voice. They had time to find out who it was. Time.

Twenty-seven days. There was no possible way he could keep Spock from Ronat for twenty-seven days. Although he had left Spock in bed he knew beyond any shade of doubt that the Vulcan would start to wonder why Ronat had not reported to him. He also knew if Spock suspected that somebody from the ship was involved in his kidnapping that the Vulcan would have thought long and carefully about it before making such a statement and be mentally going through the crew before he would check their records. Check their records for what? It was highly unlikely that anyone would mention that they had certain interests like kidnapping or that they were xenophobic. It had to be somebody Spock had spoken to or with as he did say he had heard the voice. All he had to do before Spock was look at a list of all those who went to the planet, all those who were with him and talk with them. He did not want to think what Spock would do to that person and although it would be within the regulations it would have Vulcan applications to it.

He had not been aware that he had been looking at the reliving officer till the man turned and looked at him, "Is everything alright, Captain?"

"Everything is fine." Kirk lied but nodded.

"Permission to ask a question, Sir?"

"Granted. What is it?"

"It is about Warren Ronat. He put me in charge of the Science Division and said he was going to have some private time but it is unlike him not to be there when Mister Spock is not on the ship."

Private time. It had been difficult to keep looking at the man as he said, "Officer Ronat is having some personal time and we should respect it."

"Yes. Sir. I was just concerned as it just was not like him to go off as he did. He seemed to have something serious on his mind when he told me to take over. I guess he needs some quiet time to think through whatever it is. I do know he was far more furious than any of us could remember when we were told we could not go looking for Mister Spock." the man seemed to relax a little, "It is a relief to know you gave him permission to have some personal time, Sir, as I was afraid he would break the regs and go looking for Mister Spock as he just told me to take over and charged off saying he needed some private time."

"He seemed to need it."

"He and Miser Spock used to verbally challenge one another a great deal in the way you do with friends. I mean Mister Spock was a bit of a taskmaster but he was fair and, once you got to know how he liked things done, and did not ask really stupid questions you saw what a great guy he was."

"That just you or the whole Department?"

"Most of the Department, those of us who have been here for a few years as it takes a fair bit of time to appreciate that Vulcan perfection and the high standards he pushed us to reach, the way he pushed us to be better than we thought we were capable of being. Some did not understand or appreciate how much they could learn from him as him. It was like all they saw was a cold Vulcan belittling them for not being perfect."

"Thank you, I'll let you get back to what you were doing before."

"Just keeping an eye on one of Ronat's experiments. He'll want to know exactly what happens when."

Again Kirk heard that voice in his head again calling him a coward. He was letting the man believe a lie. It would have only taken a word or two to stop the lie from forming and being only an exchange of words that could have been misunderstood but he had not corrected the misunderstanding. A part of him was asking how deeper was he going to dig himself into a lot of explaining and another part was telling him he was doing all he could at the moment.

At the end of the shift he walked down to Sickbay to check on Ronat before he went to see Spock. McCoy was standing by the bed just looking down at Ronat and talking to him, telling him all the news of what was going on on the ship with the exception of the fact Spock was safely aboard.

"And when the topic of brewing both Scotty and Chekov were great at sparring with each other. I doubt if some of their statements were factual but they put on a good show. They were both getting very heated when that specialist in botany you play old Earth poker with calmed them down by pointing out how both of the original ways for brewing them were the best for the best of both. They both calmed down as he explained the original ways of brewing both single malt Scotch whisky and vodka. You," McCoy paused when he realized that Kirk had arrived and had seen him standing by the bed Warren Ronat was on and holding his hand. Although everything he knew, everything he had read, there was that tiny part, a what that hobgoblin would call illogical part, of his mind that believed that somewhere in the badly damaged body that was Warren Ronat there was an awareness and that the man he knew was fighting to get through to him.

He glanced back down at Ronat. Too many times he had stood beside a bed with Ronat on it after he had been battered helping either Spock or Kirk regain their strength by sparring with them. Despite all else he knew this man and it was ripping him apart to know that he was going to have to send him to some establishment where he would be little more than just another patient. Send him to a place where he would know nobody, have no visitors. "Looks like we've got a visitor. The Captain has come," he looked at Kirk and saw almost a panic in his friend's eyes, a strange panic, with a nod of his head he indicated to Kirk to go into his office then looked back at Ronat, "He wants to see me. I will be right back."

When he walked into his office he saw Kirk was pacing, definitely not a good sign. "What is it, Jim?"

As usual when he called his Captain the man tended to calm and he was relieved when Kirk sat and just looked at him. It was clear the man was having an internal war and needed to vent. He let himself have a slight laugh at that. Whenever Jim wanted to discuss something he went to Spock and when he wanted to vent he would come to Sickbay. It had been their way for so long he could not remember when it started.

"I take it there is no change."

"No. I still have his papers ready for you. That's not why you're here though, is it?"

"No." Kirk had clasped his hands together and placed them on the desk, looking at them for a moment then up at him and there was a plea for help in the hazel eyes, "Spock believes Ronat is looking after the Science Department for him and I didn't tell him the truth and a few minutes ago I, I mislead Officer Tylor, the Science Officers who was manning the Science Station as he believes Ronat is having some personal time and, and I agreed."

For a moment McCoy just looked at his friend. For as long as he had known Kirk and Spock working together he had never known Jim to keep anything this important from the Vulcan, "What do you want me to say, Jim? You know you owe Spock the truth. Do you really want him to find out you did not tell him how badly injured Ronat was saving him?" for a moment, through the open door, he saw M'benga walk by for his shift and gave the officer covered and walking beside him just a cursory glance, but he relaxed knowing that M'Benga would be treating the patient far enough away that they would not hear what was being said. He looked at Kirk for a minute stunned that he had kept the details from Spock, "Do you really want Spock to find out how you and I watched Ronat being battered the way we did and that we did nothing, absolutely nothing to stop it?"

In the hazel eyes McCoy saw a bit of doubt even as Kirk shook his head, "Bones, there was nothing we could have,"

"You think I don't know that!" he could feel a great annoyance building in him as he looked at his friend, "Just in case you're forgetting I was there, too. I stood there doing nothing but watching that man in there being battered to that state, a state where all too often death is usually welcome, trying to save one of my two closest friends. I stood there seeing his blood all over that hallway. I stood there watching him fight when all he had to hold on to was the knowledge that he had to win to possibly save Spock. I just stood there and watched, Jim. I did not even try to do anything to stop it!"

"We couldn't do anything, Bones."

"We could have tried." Even as he said it he realized the truth, they had not ever tried to stop the fight.

"If we had we would not have had the search, we would not have found Spock."

"If that mammoth had killed Ronat we would not have had the search. You, we did not even try to talk the man out of it. We did not even try to make Ronat stop." It sickened him the more he thought of how he had let Ronat continued to be injured.

"Think, Bones. We never had the chance."

Chance? What was Jim thinking? "We did. When we helped him up we could have stopped it."

"No, no we couldn't have, Bones. Didn't you see and feel him? He was not aware of us being there. All he saw was that titan and I think he saw him as prey, it was in his eyes."

"We could have stopped it then."

"We would not have got to search and he was,"

The search. Jim was fixated about the search. "Oh, so now you're a doctor. What was your diagnosis at the time? What did you see? What were you thinking? The truth, Jim. What were you thinking?"

Kirk thumped his fist on the table and almost stood as he flared at him, "You don't want to know, Bones."

"I want the truth from you, Jim. I want the truth you did not give Spock." even as he spoke he saw the anger in his friend building.

"You want me to admit that I did not care what happened to Ronat as long as we found Spock? You want me to admit that all I could think about was how close to Spock we were? Well, I admit it. " two hazel yes looked levelly at him as Kirk again sat down. "All I cared about was getting to Spock and saw Ronat just as a way of getting to him. I admit that at the time I did not see him as a being but as a thing to be used. All that mattered was finding Spock."

"And are you going to tell Spock that?"

"No! How could I tell him that? He would never understand."

Sadly McCoy nodded as he placed a hand on his friend's shoulder, "You don't give him enough credit, Jim. I think he would. No, I know he would find some way of accepting it as some sort of logical thing."

"But you don"t know, Bones."

"I do know you need to tell him and tell him now before he finds out some other way."

"I will know when to tell him, Bones, just not now."

"And what if he finds out you hid the truth from him before you tell him? What if he finds out you knew how Ronat needs specialist care far beyond what we can provide and that you will be signing him off the ship?"

"He won't know that and he does not need to know that I will be signing him off the ship."

McCoy nodded to himself, finally some truth. He had known Kirk had been fooling himself believing he could keep Ronat on the ship. He squeezed the shoulder under his hand, "You do know, don't you, that he will find out at some time, Jim. How will you feel if he does find out before you tell him? How do you think he will feel knowing you kept the truth from him? Is your trust in each other worth testing like this?"

"That is enough, Bones! You're crossing the line!"

"Am I? You know damned well that he has a right to know the truth and that he should hear it directly from you."

"I will tell him what he needs to hear when he needs to hear it, Doctor. I will know when to tell him the truth and he will only find out,"

"From Doctor M'Benga." a chill seemed to sweep through him as Kirk heard a familiar baritone voice behind him. Slowly he stood and turned feeling clashing emotions. Spock stood looking at both of them with an expression McCoy could nor recall ever seeing before. This was not how he wanted Spock to find out and he was chilled by the look in the dark eyes. There was accusation, anger, pity, uncertainty, the deep disbelief of feeling betrayed, and a plea.

After resting once Kirk had left him Spock and having formulated the best way to find out which crew member had been involved he had contacted Doctor M'Benga and asked him to come to his quarters and then accompany him to Sickbay covered so as not to be recognized. He had thought that both Kirk and McCoy should be resting and felt certain that M'Benga would assist him in getting, the ten new officers in to Sickbay and would be able to also assist in seeing their reaction to seeing him alive and on the ship. They had been passing the open door to McCoy's office when he heard the raised voices. It was easy for him to hear what was said although he knew M'Benga, like most Humans, would not hear the words. He had stood for a moment stilled not only by what he was hearing but also he could see into Intensive Care and saw Warren Ronat on full support. No, not full support for he was breathing on his own.

He had felt M'Benga briefly touch is arm, "He's as comfortable as we can make him." he had also felt a small disc being put in his hand, "It is not a full report but will answer your questions without asking McCoy."

Spock had been around doctors long enough to understand what was no being said and nodded, "I am sure he is getting the best care. McCoy will not know of this," he looked at the disc, "Thank you for your consideration. We will wait to get those officers down at a later time unless I take care of the matter before. I believe both the Captain and Doctor McCoy will wish to speak with me now."

He had walked over to stand just short of the door. At first he had meant to go directly in but he could not believe what he was hearing. It was only when Jim had all blult admitted he had withheld the truth from him that he entered.

The shock was plain on Jim's face. McCoy just looked at him and nodded as though he knew this time would come.

"Spock, I." Kirk had momentarily closed his eyes and then looked back at him with sadness about his face reflected by how he stood after he slowly got up. "How, how much did you hear?"

"Enough to know that you deliberately mislead me by failing to tell me the truth when I asked how you found me. Enough to know that you also did not inform me that Ronat was in Intensive Care because of me and let me believe he was making sure that the Science Department was kept to my standards for me."

He looked at McCoy and saw the pain about his face and knew how trapped he had been between his loyalty to Jim and what he wanted to do. At least he had not withheld any information from him. He simply had not asked McCoy about what had transpired as he believed Jim would tell him and had been pleased that his friend had let him recover in his own room not suspect there was an ulterior motive. The doctor maintained eye contact with him and he saw the man asking for forgiveness.

"I wish to thank you, Doctor McCoy, for your usual high standard of treatment and for allowing me to recover in my own quarters. I now fully understand it was not just your understanding of my preference for my own quarters. I am sure the Captain endorsed it as he would have seen it as a way to ensure I not know about Ronat's condition until he had fully informed me as his version of the events leading up to my rescue.

"I had intended to, with Doctor M'Benga's assistance, do an evaluation of some crewmembers but I will do that later. I will return to my quarters," it was difficult but he ignored the way Kirk started to approach him, "alone and I do not wish to be disturbed for at least six standard hours as I have much to think about."

He had picked up and pulled on the robe that had covered him when he walked in and started to walk out but paused as he realized there was something he needed, and looked at McCoy, "I would appreciate it if you would come to my quarters in five point two five hours to declare be fit to return to duty at that time. Until that time I will be on medical leave and," for just five point eight one seconds he hesitated as he looked at McCoy and saw understanding, "I request full medical isolation for six hours." McCoy had gone to his computer and logged confirmation of him being in medical isolation and let him see it and nodded, "Thank you, Doctor McCoy. I will see you, Captain, when I return to the bridge." without looking at Kirk, although he could feel the Captain's cauldron of emotions, and without another word walked out and to his quarters.

Jim had kept information from him, facts he needed to know. He had deliberately not corrected him when he had talked about Ronat taking care of the Science Department. For a moment he wondered if Bonat had died if Jim would have told him. He calmed himself with the breathing lessons he had learned as a child when he remembered how he had told Jim about how Ronat could fight and Jim and said nothing. Jim had clearly seen Ronat fight and had said nothing. While in Jim's voice he had heard his command voice and certainty in McCoy's he had heard annoyance and regret. Jim was in a hurry to get Ronat off the ship, perhaps he had hoped to do so without telling him. While he was aware that Jim was very aware of how he rightfully took full responsibility for any action done on his behalf, as what Ronat had done clearly was, he did not have the right to keep such actions from him. Had he known Ronat had been so badly injured in his behalf sooner he would have been able to be back on active duty sooner. He had asked for the six hours as he needed time to read through Ronat's medical records and contact Vulcan if necessary to find out if they could care for him should there be any suggestion of leaving him in some special hospital where nobody would know him or visit him as he knew his mother and, possibly, his father would be regular visitors if he were on Vulcan. He just needed time alone to think. There had to be some reason Jim was not honest with him.

Slowly Jim Kirk sat down and hardly noticed that McCoy had poured two glasses from one of his emergency bottles. All he was aware of was seeing how Spock had looked at him, the way he had spoken to him. So cold. So distant. So hurt, so very deeply hurt. Spock had looked at him as though he had betrayed him and, as he thought of how he had acted, he realized the Vulcan could easily see it that way. He closed his eyes as he took his first swallow of the liquor, He had betrayed his best friend. He had not trusted him to be able to accept what had happened, not told him the full truth, allowed him to believe things were different. Just about any other crew member would have understood but with Spock the brutal truth was always the best, was the only way to deal with any situation. And he way he left, asking McCoy to go to his quarters but telling him he would see him on the bridge reflected how deeply he was hurt. He could not remember any other time when Spock looked at him like that nor spoke to him like that, when his actions showed so much about how he was feeling. It was almost as though he was a total stranger, somebody the Vulcan was wary of.

"Jim," he heard McCoy's concern but all he wanted was to go to Spock and find a way of making it right. He had to go make it right. Slowly he stood and felt McCoy grip his arm as he started to leave. "Jim, where do you think you are going?"

For a moment he tried to pull away and then spun to face McCoy and all but spat, "Stay out of it, Bones! I have to go and make it right. He doesn't understand. He needs to know,"

"That you respect his wishes to be left alone." As usual when he was so irate McCoy used just enough of an edge to make him pause. "We both heard him say that he would see you on the bridge."

"And before then I have to make him understand. I have to,"

The hand holding his arm had relaxed and McCoy had said, "Go then. You heard that he had been put on medical isolation for six hours. Even a Captain cannot over-ride that. Oh, but you are Captain Kirk. What you want is what matters most. Go, you just go and put more distance between you two. Go and prove to him that how he thinks and feels does not matter when compared with what you think and feel. Just do not expect a warm reception. He's been really hurt and wants time. He asked for time alone."

He knew Spock, knew Spock better than McCoy and knew that he could get Spock to see reason and understand why he did what he did. "I know what he needs, Bones."

All the way to Spock's quarters he had thought over all the reasons he could give, all the reasons that Spock would have to see were sound reasons, were logical reasons.

When the door opened Spock stood before him at attention, "Captain Kirk, is there a specific reason for your presence? I believe you were present when Doctor McCoy put me on medical isolation which is, as per StarFleet regulations, a status in which only medical personnel approved by the Chief Medical Officer of the ship are allowed to see the crew member declared to be under medical isolation. I also specifically stated that I would see you on the bridge when my next shift starts in six standard hours. If there is no problem with the ship you should not be here. I ask again, is there a reason for your presence here?"

"Spock, I had to come to explain about earlier, about what I did, we need to talk,"

A cold numbness seemed spill over him as he looked at Spock and realized he was in total Vulcan mode, he was a stranger. "Captain Kirk, as your actions and words of earlier have nothing to do with the safe and efficient operation of the ship we have nothing to discuss. I repeat what I said earlier, I will see you in six hours when I report for my duty as the Science Officer and First Officer of this ship. You should leave was you are in breach of the medical isolation regulations, Sir. I will report to you on the bridge on time."

It was only when he was standing staring at the closed door that he realized just how deeply he had hurt his friend. McCoy's words came back to him, "Go and prove to him that how he thinks and feels does not matter when compared with what you think and feel."

A/N Grabbed a bit of time to get this much typed out - having to use only one hand was a bit slowing. Thanks to all those reading - hope you enjoy it. Take care and have fun.