Okay, so I'm continuing this all. I'm far too invested. Anyway, I'm sorry if it gets a little scratchy since I started this right after publishing Chapter 3 but then I started residing in my vacation home under the Thor category with all of those awesome Loki fanfics and I just got back from holiday there. Forgive me if something seems unclear and please notify me immediately.
I hope the POVs are obvious. It goes from Vali the night he dies, to Sif visiting Thor, to Hel when she recieves word from Odin, to Loki while still in the cave, back to Sif as she goes for Loki, back to Loki when talking to Hel, then back to Hel for her to do her thing, and ends off with Loki. Sorry, there were many side stories that had to take place for the whole thing. Hope this doesn't confuse you, because it certainly lost me sometime ago. O.o
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"Mummy, when is Dad coming home?" I ask my mother, the goddess Sigyn.
Narfi is standing close to me, his eyes round, remembering the last time our father, the Trickster God, Loki, disappeared. Mum got so frustrated when I asked the last time that she sat us down and told us how bad Dad was and how his frequent disappearance was very naughty. She explained how he was a Trickster, which was a person who would go around and bother people. When Narfi finally asked her if Dad was evil, she told us he wasn't and that she was just venting. She said that though our father did annoy many people, he actually helps out those same people and how he got many of the gods great gifts, like Thor's hammer. Mum said that the only reason she got so mad over Dad's disappearance was that she was worried on when he was coming back.
But this time is different. Dad has been gone for so much longer and Mum said that he is in real trouble this time and that a lot of the other Aesir are upset with him. She told us that when some of the Aesir would whisper when we passed by, but she never said where he was or when he'd be back.
Narfi looked up at Mum expectantly. He was still young, at least compared to me since there seemed to be a gap between the maturity in our personalities. I am now fifteen, and yes, I still call my mother 'Mummy'. I do dearly love my mother. Narfi is nearing twelve, so he still addresses our parents Mummy and Daddy accordingly. We are still so young and often now Mum will glance at us with a worried look, no doubt invoked by Dad's prolonged and stressful absence. I know she cannot bare to be without him.
"I don't know, Vali. I hope soon," Mum answers. Narfi runs up to Mum and hugs her, for he knows already that she is on the brink of tears, before I can even see her look of sadness.
Narfi and I have personalities worlds apart. He always stays home with Mum unless she goes somewhere and helps her with everything. He will sit there with her for hours, listening to her tell stories of when she was his age and those sorts of tales. He learns firsthand accounts about what Midgard is like. But he somewhat fears Dad, after listening to Mum go on about his peculiar behaviour and whatnot, which is odd because he looks a lot like him. Narfi has auburn hair, dark enough to match up with Dad's maroon hair with a tint of Mum's blonde and brunette hair, and his eyes are a bright emerald. He may have the appearances of the Trickster, but he is a gentle soul like Mum and never gets into trouble.
I, on the other hand, hold my dad, Loki, as my personal hero. When he is here in Asgard I like to spend all of my time with him, seeing what he does and what makes him so unique in our community. I love hearing the other Aesir tell me tales that he had a role in and I always listen carefully to my father's own tales of his life, about his childhood with Surtr and his adventures with Odin or Thor. His talents amaze me. Especially since I, myself, inherited his ability to shape-shift. I love being part Fire Giant, as well, and like studying who Farbauti and Surtr are and how they affected their own worlds and ours by giving us Dad.
To show my dad how proud I am of our heritage, I altered my appearances to match his descriptions of Farbauti. I like my hair black and at the length my father keeps his, with it's feathery texture, and I keep red eyes when I am with him so to pronounce our ancestry, to say I am the son of a Fire God. But when I am around Mum only, my eyes rapidly change to a violet colour, as though her complete Aesir heritage wholly sucks the Giant spirit out of me. Since violet seems to be my default eye colour, I assume that was the colour I was born with. And I have had black hair for as long as I can remember. It's been so long since I fit my looks to our heritage, I suppose I have simply forgotten how I looked when I was little. I hope Dad notices my effort with the red eyes and all.
Besides our separate hair and eye colours, Narfi and I do resemble each other. Everyone is Asgard has white skin, yes, some tanner than others and all, but our family has this odd tint of grey to our skin. Well, besides Mum. Mummy has this weird look about her that says she is healthier than the rest of us, even though we are all perfectly fine. Mum takes after her mother, Frigg, in her pale skin and slightly filled face and though she's skinny, she certainly has some flesh on her bones. Not to be rude or anything. Narfi has a lot of Mum's more human looks, but Dad and I are small and thin, perfect for his cunning nature. I am not threatened all that much by Thor's more muscular children, just like Dad isn't afraid of Thor, because cunning runs through our blood and I know I am clever enough to escape them.
"Oh. Vali, your eyes changed colour. Are you okay?" Mum asks me, using her finger to tilt my head back.
"Yeah, Mum, I'm fine. What colour are my eyes now?" I ask eagerly.
"Red. This really bright red," she tells me.
"Whoa! It's blood red. Or fire red. Or something," Narfi exclaims, looking at my eyes.
"But I only have red eyes when Dad is here. Maybe he's coming back soon!" I cheer.
"Yeah, maybe, Vali. We can certainly hope," Mum assures me. I sit at the kitchen table, slouching in my chair.
Just then someone knocks on the door. Mum sets the book she was reading down and opens the door slowly, peering out through the crack before opening the door wider. I could hear her heart beat faster when she opened the door, probably thinking it is Father. Or scared that Heimdallr had come here again in a rage, looking for him.
"Sigyn, aren't you coming to Odin's feast?"
It's Tyr's wife. She's pregnant right now, which Mum says is a bit odd because Dad went over to their place a couple of days before she announced it. She has accused Dad of cheating on her, but she doesn't seem to be all that mad about it. She says that it was probably just some trick he pulled to get Tyr mad. She never takes his cheating seriously, probably because all of the gods do it. I won't though, I'll be good to my wife. I swore that to myself when I was younger and told Dad that. He wished me good luck!
"He's holding feasts again? Doesn't it seem a bit early to start celebrating after Baldr's death?" Mum asks.
After the Handsome God's death, Odin stopped holding the daily feasts and so we have been staying home for dinner. Thinking that the mourning was still on, we ate dinner already. It is a bit early for us to start celebrating after his sad loss.
"Odin said that Baldr would not of liked us being so sad all of the time. Especially since we have the absence of Loki to celebrate," Tyr's wife says. I am shocked that they cheer for my father's absence, resulting in my glare at the pregnant woman from behind my mother.
"Keep that tongue bitten if you have something nasty to say of Loki in front of Vali and Narfi and me. Loki is not that bad, you just don't see his inner beauty," my mother defends.
"Yeah! Stand up to her Mummy!" Narfi calls, grinning widely.
"Narfi, hush, dear. Well, we've already eaten," my mother tells Tyr's wife, looking severely at Narfi first.
"Oh, at least come and get a little drunk," she invites.
"And if Loki comes home while I am gone?"
"Then he can come to Odin's. He should know Odin well enough to know there is always a feast."
"Fine. Fine," my mother gives in. "But Vali, Narfi, you're staying here. Keep Father here if he comes, all right?"
"Okay, Mummy. We'll try to keep him here. But don't blame us if he escapes," I respond.
Mum laughs to herself a little, then grabs her cloak and heads out. Tyr's wife had left immediately after Mum gave in, so she's probably almost to the Hall. I wave as she closes the door behind her.
"Vali, do you really think that Daddy is coming home tonight?" Narfi asks me, looking at me with round eyes.
"Maybe. You know how tricky Dad is, never telling us when he comes and goes. You just have to be calm when he arrives here in a panic or drunk. Now, come on. Shouldn't you be getting to bed?" I reply, chasing him down the hall to his room.
After hearing a bedtime story, Narfi finally fell asleep, leaving me alone to myself. I went out to the living room and sat back on the sofa, closing my eyes. In my mind, I tried to picture how my father probably looked like when he was my age and what he was like and all that stuff. I wish he would tell me how powerful he was back then, but he has never mentioned his abilities to me. Sometimes he will even leave out chunks of his stories. I really wish he would include them, but instead he has kept so many secrets from me!
As I play out my frustrations with my actually very quiet father, I hear the door creak open. I look up, expecting Narfi, who had frequent nightmares, but instead Dad came rushing in. His maroon hair was a bit longer than last time and was thrown back and knotted, as though he had run some ways, which he probably has. His green eyes were wide, almost frightened. I smiled at Dad's return for a second, but I frowned when I caught his expression.
"Dad, what's wrong?" I ask, standing up.
"Your mother. Where's your mother?" he breathes.
"She went to Odin's feast. The first one since Baldr's death." After this he calms down and catches his breath. "What's wrong?"
"Look, you've heard the rumours about who killed Baldr, right?" he asks me, touching my forearm so to signal for me to sit back down with him.
"Yeah, they say it was you, Dad," I respond, my eyebrows furrowed. "You're in trouble, aren't you?"
"No. Yes. I really don't know. I know they would be upset, but is there punishment? Look, Vali, what ever happens throughout the next few days, just remember that I only do what is absolutely necessary and that I love my family very much. I would never let you be in harm, so if anyone tries to say you are evil because of me and try something funny on you, don't you let them. You and Narfi and Mum are all innocent. I...I have to go," he says. I am only more confused.
"Dad, you killed Baldr?"
"Yes, Vali, I had to. Odin told me to," he confesses. He sounds honest. He even looks me in the eye!
"When will you be back?" I ask. "Mum told me to keep you here."
"I don't know. I'll see you soon, though. I'll tell her you tried to stop me, okay?" he says gently.
I nod. I stand up with him, reaching to about his height. He smiles at my size and ruffles my hair. Not knowing when I would see him next, I embrace my father and then watch him leave. I follow his steps a few seconds after he leaves, but when I reach the doorstep, he is gone. Instead, I hear someone breathing heavily. I step off the porch and see my mum standing behind a tree, breathless.
"Mum?" I call.
"Vali. Was your father just here?" she asks.
"Yes, but he left. I tried to keep him here, but he said he needed to leave."
"I know. He really is in some trouble, Vali. Maybe I should stay here just in case."
"No. Really, Mum, I don't think he's coming back right now. I think he's going to Odin's Hall because I said you were there."
She nods and embraces me. I tell her Dad will be okay, like he always is, but she looks doubtful. She leaves then, straightening out her hair with her fingers as she goes. I return inside after that and sit back down on the sofa. My hands interlocked behind my head, I close my eyes and am unconscious in no time.
But then I hear voices and I jump to my feet, frightened. I don't know how long I had been asleep, but it doesn't seem like long. I let my eyes adjust to the light and then look up to find two messengers of Odin along with Tyr. I know they are probably just looking for Dad.
"Loki isn't here. He left some time ago," I say sleepily.
"No, Vali, we are here for you and Narfi," Tyr objects. He points one of the men down the hall while the other stands next to me.
"Why? Dad told me I am totally innocent," I reject.
"Vali, there is nothing I can do. Odin called for you and your brother to be presented before him."
"Are you going to tie us up like you did to Fenrir? Because that's not fair," I ask.
Tyr gets a weird look upon his face, between sadness and shock. He was the one that made Fenrir get tied up so I hope he himself is tied up. Fenrir is really good.
"Vali! What's going on?" Narfi cries. I look over to see the messenger carrying the struggling child out of the door.
"Vali, you must come with us, or we will remove you by force," Tyr says, becoming stony again.
I nod and follow him out of the door. Tyr leads me over the bridge out of Asgard into the forest. There a crowd has gathered and there are many rebellious cries throughout the mob. The people part, though, as they lead Narfi and me forward. I briefly see Mum at the back of the crowd, but she does not see me for her head is down and she is crying really hard. I can hear her sobs.
I can feel my hair and eyes change colour. I suppose I am a natural redhead because my hair is now a crimson matching my father's. I know that my eyes have changed green as well. I suppose these are my final minutes, by the way the crowd looks at us, so I might as well revert back to my natural appearance. Narfi and I really do look alike, and we both take after Dad.
In front of the crowd, I see my father caught in the arms of a warrior, writhing and screaming. When he sees Narfi and me, he stops, a defeated look upon his face, and then attempts to escape even harder. His expression tells me that something is terribly wrong. Odin then whispers something to the messenger and instantly the whole crowd moves farther back, isolating Narfi and me. This is bad. This is really bad.
"Daddy! Tell Daddy to escape like he always does and get us out of here!" Narfi shrieks as Odin comes toward us.
I believe Dad heard Narfi because he is looking at him and saying something that I can't hear over the crowd. I back up instinctively from Odin, fearing the worst.
"Daddy told us to try and run. He said that all will be well if we run," Narfi told me.
I try to back up even further, but the messenger grabs my arm and forces me forward, standing behind me now.
"Dad, please help us. You have to, Dad, you have to. Please, help us," I whisper over and over, locking eyes with him.
Odin stands next to us now, though, and mumbles some words that I cannot catch. He talks too fast. Someone behind me assures that all will be well, but that just makes me feel even worse. I don't know what is going on, I don't know what Dad did. I wish someone would explain. I wish someone told me why I am being punished. But all I hear are peoples' shouts for Loki to die. I am so scared, Daddy, I really am. I am so sorry for whatever I did.
As I plead for my innocence, Odin murmurs one last word, and that is really the last thing I remember. Why did they do that to me?
"Sif! You are back earlier than I expected! How is the child?" Thor exclaims as I enter our home.
"The child is fine, Thor. She's one of the most beautiful children I've ever seen," I reply sternly.
"Really? I thought the thing would be a mutant after being stuck down there for so long. And a girl, eh? Good for Sigyn!"
"And Loki," I remind.
"Oh, Loki doesn't matter here. He is trapped! He is not fit to be a father!" Thor laughs.
Normally I would agree with Thor. I really would. But something about seeing Loki so vulnerable and kind made me rethink him. I can't help but have pity on the god. I mean, it is not his fault that he is a Giant or that we all have the wrong impression of him! He does things because they are truly necessary.
"Shut up, Thor."
"What? Sif, Loki is a bad guy. Do not feel soft for him!" Thor shouts.
"Then why did you spend all that time with him, Thor? Has anything really changed in Loki since you last went hunting with him?" I question.
"Ummm...yes? He killed Baldr, Sif!"
"But Baldr needs to be dead if he is to be reborn after Ragnarok, Thor. And Odin asked him to! Thor, Loki was just doing his job!"
Thor just gapes at me, kind of like a fish. Snapping his jaw shut, he grabs my wrist tightly and leads me out of our Hall and over to Odin's. Knocking aside Odin's servants, he marches me right upstairs and into his father's room.
"Father, you must knock some sense into my wife here!" Thor growls. Odin looks up in almost fright.
"What has she said?" he asks.
"Tell him, Sif! Tell him what you just said to me!"
"Look, Allfather, all I told Thor was that Loki was innocent in Baldr's death. I mean, a god has to be dead to be reborn, right? And Loki told us that you specifically asked him to kill Baldr," I say calmly.
"See? See what foolish words Loki has forced her to stay. Now, be honest, you didn't actually have Loki kill Baldr, right? I mean, to have your own son murdered is insane!" Thor continues.
"Thor, I'm afraid Sif is right. Remember, we did not punish him for the death because it was for the best. We punished him for Lokasenna," the Allfather opposed.
"We killed his sons and strung him up with a snake all for a few unpleasant truths he reminded us of? Come on, Odin, he was just pointing out the true faults we all have taken part in! We always remind him of his faults, why can he not, for once, remind us of ours?" I plead.
"Er...Tell me, Sif. Why the sudden interest in Loki?" Odin asks.
"Because his punishment is unfair! He has a beautiful little daughter, Odin. He deserves to at least have this child. We locked up his first three, we killed is second two, why must we also do away with the third attempt? Does he not deserve to enjoy fatherhood?" I question.
"So this is just over the daughter?" Odin challenges.
"Well, he also is a god, he should be up here in Asgard with us."
"Has something major happened while you were with Sigyn and Loki, Sif? Tell me."
"Loki is a Trickster, Odin. He cannot be bound, he will always find a way around it."
"So he has gotten free?"
"I never said that. Just, please accept him back in Asgard, Allfather. We owe him so much for what he has given us: Sleipnier, Mjollnir, my beautiful gold hair, Gungnir, and so many other fine things. We even owe him the price for getting the wall for free! We cannot turn our back on him."
"But what about Ragnarok?" Thor asks.
"Eir told me that the whole reason Loki would go back to the Giants would be our imprisoning him. She told me he needed that freedom or he would go elsewhere, but whatever means. But if we let him free, he would know that we actually did care about his presence with us and would instead fight with us. Accept him now, and we get a Trickster on our side for good," I explain.
Odin seems taken aback, for he strokes his beard and looks down with a hard, thoughtful gaze.
"It would appear so," the Allfather says. "He has gotten free, right?"
"Yes, Allfather."
"At the risk of being protested against by the other Aesir, tell Loki to come before me."
"Thank you, Allfather, thank you," I say. Before Thor can catch me I start off from the room.
"Wait, Sif," Odin calls. "Remember to tell Loki that his acceptance back into Asgard may cost him."
I nod, unsure what he means by price, but rush out of the room all the same. Sigyn will be thrilled to be welcomed back into Asgard with a husband upon her arm!
But as I am about to exit the gates to the Bifrost, I can see one of Odin's messengers coming forward. I hear that he is going to Niflheim to deliver an important message to Hel and that if he is to see Loki come near, he must halt Loki at the gates if he has seen Hel since he had broken free. Is she part of the price? No, she has to be in it as a condition. I sprint forward down the bridge, knowing now to stop Loki from seeing the goddess or at least not complying with whatever she wants.
"Hel?" someone calls. I look up and see that my servant has brought in a messenger from Odin. I wave him in.
"Yes?" I greet.
I have had a long enough day. Well, what is a day to me down here in Niflheim. Dealing with the Dead isn't the simplest task.
"I have a message from the Allfather."
"Do tell."
"Madame, Odin has learned that Loki has broken free of his bonds in your world during the period in which is daughter was born. Sif has proposed for Loki to return to Asgard, as it would only be fair since he has presented with so much and he has right to raise his daughter, and Odin has agreed to grant the Trickster entrance."
"If my father has escaped already, then why bother me?" I ask.
"Odin wants Loki to pay the price for his acceptance back into Asgard. Tell me, Vali and Narfi are under your rule, correct?"
"Yes, Vali and Narfi are among the Niflheim dead."
"The Allfather feels that Loki will be here to reclaim his sons. Has he been here?"
"No."
"Well, he probably will so that his family can be complete. The Allfather requests that if Loki comes here looking for a way to regain his sons, that you place them elsewhere."
"As in Midgard or...?" I trail off, sitting up fully.
"It is all in this letter, Hel."
The messenger hands me a sealed envelope. I crack open the seal after dismissing Odin's messenger. This task will be the hardest yet.
I kiss Sigyn on the cheek and then stand up.
"Wait, Loki, you don't mean to leave now, do you? I meant for you to go after your sons later," Eir exclaims.
"Well, I might as well get this over with while I am still down here, right?" I ask, raising my arms to gesture to my prison.
"No, Loki, stay longer, please. I have something to ask you," Sigyn pleads, looking up at me. Violette is held in the crook of her elbow.
"Fine, a little longer. What do you need to know, my little doe?" I resign.
"Please, tell me, what did Vali look like when he was brought forward during his sacrifice?"
"Why does it matter?" I question, my eyes narrowing at my wife. Why must she remind me of that fateful night in such excruciating detail?
"Because I just remembered that before I left for Odin's Hall his eyes changed to red. He told me that his eyes are always red when he is near you. So, were they?"
"No, I honestly don't remember his eyes ever being red or violet. Honestly. But I do remember how he looked that night," I whisper, my eyes widening in horror of the screams and cries of my sons. "His hair was the exact colour and shade of mine, and the same thing with his eyes. He looked exactly like me when I was his age, and Narfi was pretty close, but he had those blonde and brunette streaks that made his auburn. I thought he had black hair."
"He did have black hair and red and violet eyes. Loki, how could you not notice how hard he worked to show off his heritage for you?" Sigyn scolds.
"I was too busy enjoying my time with him! I don't bother to notice others' appearances when I am having a swell time with them!" I defend.
"So you don't remember what your sons looked like?" Eir asks.
"Eir, when I think of my sons now I can only picture the horror in their eyes the night they died! Can you blame me for that?"
"No. No, there is nothing wrong with remembering that night only. That was terrible of Odin."
"Thank you."
"Are you really going, Loki?" Sigyn asks me, sadness in her voice.
"Yes. If I am only to die later on, why not enjoy my family now? Cannot I bring back those I love for the last few years of this world?" I question, my voice hard.
"And if Odin finds out?" Eir threatens.
"He is a father himself, why cannot he understand my situation as a loving parent? Plus, he never pays attention to Hel much. No one does," I remind.
"Well, Loki, Odin can do many things to punish you besides that, so I shall let that be. Just remember that the Allfather is under much pressure to keep you oppressed."
"Reminder taken. I shall heed that, thank you. Do not worry, Sigyn. All shall be well. We will go back to Asgard and our Hall with our little Violette and Vali and Narfi. We will go on in peace, and this time we will invite Hel up more," I tell Sigyn.
"Yes, our whole family: you, me, Violette, Vali, Narfi, Fenrir, Jorgumand, Hel, and Tyr's kid, just for good measure," Sigyn jokes.
"Oh, that can't be my kid," I deny, holding up a hand.
"Oh yes he is, Loki. Where else can that kid get his red hair?" Eir pipes up.
"Yeah, shut up, Eir. I really should get going, though," I say.
Kissing Sigyn and Violette farewell and telling Eir to take care of my little girl, I step out of the cave and into the world of Niflheim.
Looking out from the ledge leading into my prison, I see the full expanse of the Dead Lands. The ground and sky are grey, the plants are either fully dead or nonexistent, nothing makes a sound here. This is the Land of the Never Rising Sun. The land where no light shines and all is one uniform colour: dead. Sweeping my eyes across the ground, I can see several mounds, a small gravestone in each, but otherwise completely in the pattern of rising mounds and fallen soul. In the distance I can see the ascending trunk of Yggdrasil, it's roots cutting into the dead soil.
I have been here before. In fact, I frequently come down here to visit Hel, but this time I am merely trying to escape it, and take someone with me. Hel says often how odd it is to have the roots of Yggdrasil here, since it would have died if the people above did nothing for it. The soil is not rich, the water is stale and badly soiled by rotting corpses, and she is sure that Nidhog will break a root someday. I can't see him from here, but I'm sure that dragon is down by the roots ripping up bodies of the dead and sinking his teeth into the skin right now.
I hope I'm no where near that thing when I die. Maybe if I stash some money and give it to him he'll leave me be...
The ledge is situated up a steep slope, so it would be quite a climb down for the average person. However, I have the good luck to be a shape-shifter, so I transform into a small black bird and spread out my wings, descending from the high cliff and continuing on.
Yggdrasil was a real point of reference throughout the worlds. It's roots can be seen from anywhere, and in Niflheim, Hel's palace is built near the root. So, heading in the direction of the wood, it does not take me long to spot the palace. Shifting just as swiftly into my natural form, I draw my green robe tighter around my shoulders. I am glad now that Sif thought to fetch it for me when she was in Midgard to spend time with Thor, for a simple tunic cannot alone keep out the bitter cold of the World of the Dead. I mean, it is not snowing or raining or anything, it is just a lack of any warmth what so ever reaching the bare world, even though Muspelheim lies right next to this land.
"Loki, sir, Hel has asked us not to let anyone through," Hel's main servant informs me. Those down here do not know of my being punished, no one informed them and Hel never bothered to speak word.
"That does not concern me. I am on important family business," I tell him sternly.
"Very well. Loki, if you do not mind me asking, where have you been all this time? You used to visit so often, but you have absent of late," the servant asks, he has a general look of concern on his face.
"I have been away on Odin's orders."
"Very well, sir. You may enter now."
The servant opens the door to Hel's court, bows low, and then leaves my presence. I step through the grand black doors and immediately they close, almost ominously. Hel has these doors closed most of the time, so I do not even flinch when they slam closed, the sound echoing throughout the rather hallow hall.
Hel's Palace is void of the luxuries of Asgard, or even Midgard in some areas. It is to say that Death is humble compared to Life. In her court, a few torches are lit with a ever burning fire, but other than that no light is provided. The floor is a plain marble and a long, worn black rug runs down the centre of the room, pews standing on either side. Fine tapestries and paintings of dead heroes are hung on the wall up until the far wall, where it is barren but for two sweeping black curtains and the high ebony throne of Hel. This hall was meant for beautiful celebrations, but instead has been lowered down as Hel's main place of business, which can't be much.
Walking with purpose, I approach the tall ebony throne at the end of the carpet. A skull rests upon it's arm, and tinkering with the disembodied thing is my daughter Hel. I must admit, my daughter might not be the prettiest picture, being dead on one side of her body and all. Her right half of her is a vision of beauty, with flawless pale skin, flowing blonde hair, and a twinkling blue eye. This is her alive side, symbolizing the joy in death. Her left side, however, is marked with decaying skin, greying black hair, and a flat grey eye complete with shadows underneath the lids. That is her dead side, telling of how sad death can be. Upon her split body, she wears a black dress trimmed with gold and a green cloak, my colour, with an ebony crown that raised up in high points above her hair. Though half of her may be withered, she had a look of power and confidence across her face and she sat up so erect and neat.
And that smile of hers! That is not a smile, it is a smirk. My smirk! Besides Fenrir and Jormungand, all of my children inherited that smirk! I am so proud.
Smiling in consequence of my swelling pride of the girl, I kneeled down a dozen steps away from the throne. Bowing my head, I say her title, and then look up to her laugh. Instead of that knowing smirk upon her face is a smile of pure mirth, giggling at my playful teasing.
"Stand, traveling fool. There is no need to bow for this queen here," she says, waving her hand for me to come forward.
I stand up and walk up to her. She leaps off of her cold throne and into my arms, burying her face in my collarbone. I laugh and wrap my arms around her, squeezing her small, frail body to me in happiness of seeing her again. Her pointy crown pokes at my cheekbone and neck but I let it be for I know she has forgotten all about it. She steps back then and looks at me, probably just gawking at my ragged appearance under the robes. Reaching up, for she only comes to my shoulders, she grabs a tuft of my hair and strokes the crimson lock.
"How is it that I have a red haired father, a black haired mother, and I come out with pale blonde hair?" she smiles, referring to the blonde side of her hair.
"Ah, you were just taking after your Aunt Frigg. Plus, you're too pretty to have my ruddy red hair," I answer, belittling myself.
"Nonsense. I love your dark hair. And little Narfi always looked so handsome and carefree with his maroon hair," she waves off.
"And Vali? I can't believe he made himself have black hair all of those years."
"He did? I thought he got it from Grandpa Farbauti."
"Vali was a shape-shifter. So he decided to look like his grandfather. In the end he actually had my looks," I told her.
"So that whole black-hair-red-eyes thing was his own creation?" she asks.
"It would appear so. However, where he got those violet eyes of his, I'll never know. I have never seen anyone with purple eyes."
"Ah, who knows?" she grins. She loved her little brothers, always remarked how much easier it was to mess with two normal Aesir than two freakish monsters. "So, how's your child?"
"She is a perfect, healthy, normal little girl. We named her Violette. And, oh Hel, she is the most darling little thing!" I exclaim.
"What does she look like? You, I bet. Only Narfi really took after Sigyn. It seems to me that you personally ensure that we all look like little copies of you," Hel says, jokingly skeptical.
"No, Hel, I wish one would look like Sigyn. But, what can I say? I guess, I'm too handsome for my own good and my kids want that, too. Who can blame them?" I grin, laughing at my own self-centered attitude. "Anyway, Violette has a nice head of auburn hair and, of course, blue eyes. She has a really deep blue, too. Her nose is straight, her face is pretty, and she even has my smirk!"
"Dad, everyone got your smirk," Hel informs me, rather wearily.
"However, she is a bit underweight," I admit.
"So were you! Grandma told me. And wasn't there a problem with Narfi's weight also or something?"
"There was almost a problem with him, but Eir solved it all correctly. But, Hel, I mean, this child was small. Her cheekbones show and everything!"
"Well, Sigyn hasn't eaten anything in, like, forever! Anyway, will she be fine?" Hel asks with concern.
"Yeah, Eir said she will be fine as long as we get her up to Asgard soon. We're working on that right now."
"Why did you name her Violette?"
"I always let the mother name the children, so she got the choice. She told me of this little purple flower down in Midgard and so we named her after that, just with a slight spelling variation," I shrug.
"She doesn't sound very purple," Hel says. "Red hair and probably green eyes is not purple."
"I know, I know," I wave off. "But Sif told us something very interesting in relation to my daughter. She shall be a shape-shifter, too, and a powerful one at that. Sif told me that she will probably be like Vali and shift her looks to match how she feels. Apparently she will have black hair and violet eyes. Sound like someone we know?"
"Yeah! You when you are in your female form!" Hel squeals.
"Oh, hush. So I go for a more sassy look when I shift."
After that I raise an eyebrow, put a hand on my hip, and then throw my hips sharply to the left, transforming to a woman as I do so. Hel giggles even louder as I stare at her with heavy-lidded eyes and a pouty frown. My black hair falls in curls down my shoulders and my eyes are a deep violet with thick eyelashes. My robe now sticks out a little with full breasts, adding to Hel's laugh. I quickly go back to my natural form and laugh with her.
"Great! My father is a she!" Hel cries.
"Dear, are you sure Angrboda was your actual mother?" I tease. I turn serious, though, and continue. "Seriously, Hel, who else had black hair and violet eyes?"
"Vali, Dad. I remember how Vali looked. We were just talking about it! But what are you trying to say?"
"Perhaps Sigyn is trying to recreate Vali with her, Hel. Do you think that's it?" I ask, sitting down on a pew. Hel joins me.
"For Odin's sake, Dad! Of course she is trying to get her little son back! How awful it would be to have to lose your sons in such a manner," Hel whispers.
Silence. For a moment I just sit and stare. Well, no, glare.
"Dad, if you are going to ask me if you can have Vali and Narfi back, please stop there," Hel pleads.
"Why? Why cannot I not request the rebirth of my sons?" I ask, looking up darkly.
"Just don't, Dad, or I have to do something really bad. Odin will make me."
"Nonsense. You don't have to do anything, Hel. This is your realm."
"I know. I know. But it's about you, Dad, and what he says goes when I have an Aesir with me," my daughter objects.
"What will happen if I ask?"
"I'm not allowed to reveal that."
"If all follows through, will it be good or bad?"
"It depends on how it goes. Just think about it first, okay?"
"Loki! Loki!" I cry as I run into the cave.
With Freyja on my heels, I enter the cave that the others remained at. However, when I step in, there is only Eir, Sigyn, and Violette there. Oh no, this is bad. Loki had to have gone to Hel.
"He's at Hel's trying to get Vali and Narfi back," Sigyn responds emptily.
"Oh god. Oh god. Okay, Sigyn, hold on tight to Violette. Come on, Freyja!" I say quickly.
Grabbing Freyja's wrist, I ran out of the cave and on through Niflheim. There is no time to stare at the awful scenery. I simply jump off the steep ledge and hope I make it down in one piece. Landing on my ankles, I drag Freyja across the shifting ground. Up a mound, down the slope, across some soiled liquid, and repeat. No time to stop.
"Sif, what the fuck are you doing?" Freyja yells at me.
"Odin told me that Loki will have to pay a price for getting back into Asgard. I had a vision that it would deal with Hel and Loki is there right now. Whatever he is doing we need to stop him!" I explain briefly, leaping over a cracked gravestone.
Knocking aside one of Hel's servants, I rush in through the grand doors and onto Hel's courtroom, throwing the doors open harshly.
"If all goes well on my part, then all shall be well. Correct?" I check.
"Yes," Hel nods, solemnly.
"And will things be terrible if I fail?"
"Three lives shall be lost and two ruined."
"Can you tell me what the punishment is after my final answer?" I ask.
"Yes. Odin simply wanted an answer to this," she tells me.
I sigh. Should I? Three lives lost sounds grave in her words. But that is if things go wrong. And I am a Trickster, for Yggdrasil's sake! This will be a game to me! But if it is those I care about? Shall I get them back if I win? I must take my chances. For Vali and Narfi. For Sigyn. For my own sanity. I will not sleep at night if I do not say yes. I will never be eased if I say no.
"Yes. Fine. I ask for Vali and Narfi, Hel. What is my punishment?" I accept, calmly. My own pride better help me.
"Very well," Hel says, drawing out a torn envelope from her cloak.
"Loki! No!" someone calls.
I look at the doors leading into the court and see two blondes: Sif and Freyja. Sif appears alert and rather agitated, but Freyja is worn and looking confused.
"What?" I ask.
"Loki, do not accept anything Hel offers. She will only be offering it so that she can carry out what Odin orders. It will be a punishment, Loki, a price for being accepted into Asgard. Say no and all shall be well," Sif says.
"You are too late, girls," Hel says, standing up with a wise look upon her face.
"Then what is this price, Hel? You are fair, tell us!" Freyja questions.
"It is all in this letter."
My daughter hands me the thin envelope and watches as I take out the parchment, which reads:
Hel,
Word has reached me that Loki has escaped from his bindings in your realm. I have been asked to accept the Trickster back into the arms of Asgard, but I must demand a price, which you can surely understand, Hel. The price is simple, and can be easily avoided if the thought never reaches his head, but it will be a devastating price if all does not play well in his favour. Here is what I ask of you, child:
If Loki shall come to you asking for his sons back, then you must inform him and carry out his punishment. You must awake his sons, your brothers, Vali and Narfi, from the dead, and reshape their forms. You shall make a Dark Elf of Vali and set him among the population of Svartalfheim. Narfi will become a Dwarf and dwell in the deep caves of Nidavellir. You must then fetch the neonate of Loki and Sigyn and turn it into a mere Mortal, placing it in the midst of Midgard. Please make sure that they look nothing as they do now.
As Dark Elf, Dwarf, and Mortal, these three shall live as the normal inhabitants of each environment, completely unaware of their heritage. They shall be reincarnated in a sense; following only the life that they shall be reborn into. No one must drop hint to them, for I have decided to take it easy on my brother in repayment for all he has given us Asgardians: fire, Slepnier, Mjollnir, and the likes.
The catch: Loki shall be able to sense his children upon their figuring out who they are, but they must figure this out before they die. If they die in their mortal bodies before figuring out the riddle, they shall be brought to Niflheim and remain forever. But, if they do figure out their identity before death, they will return to Asgard after their mortal death, you reincarnating them back into their original form, but when they die it must not be due to disease or they shall be denied into Asgard.
No one may help them figure this out and it is completely up to you how they look and where you place them in their respective assigned worlds. And this must only be carried out if he asks. Do comply to my orders or it shall be worse for you.
Odin Allfather
"This can be very bad," I whisper, lowering the letter out of my blank gaze.
"What? What is the price?" Freyja asks. Sif had been looking over my shoulder the entire time, so annoying, but I'm pretty sure she was generally concerned. Freyja kept a respectful distant, though, since it was never wise for us to be too close. Something wrong might just happen.
"Loki has to give up his children," Sif gasps, her eyes wide.
"He already did that," Freyja waves off.
"No, Freyja, it's not just that," I contradict calmly, keeping my eyes fixed upon Hel's dark throne. I then hand her the parchment and tell her to read it. As she reads it, her expression turns from curious to dismayed.
"Oh, Loki, I am generally sorry. But poor Sigyn!" Freyja exclaims.
"Yes, however are you to tell her?" Hel asks me, her eyebrows furrowed. Over the years of Sigyn and me visiting her in her lonely realm, Hel has grown to love her step-mother. Considering she has never even met Angrboda due to the Giantess' unstable powers, she has come to think of Sigyn as her mother, taking pride in her new, full Aesir parent. At least she has one respectable parent.
"How do you think?" I snap at her, terribly annoyed in my current situation. "'Sigyn, you won't get to see her again,' I'll say with a big smile. Then maybe I'll give her a lollipop and pat her on the head and leave her there!"
I'm on wit's end. I don't know what to tell her, and I refuse to trick my wife. I won't be subtle, but there's no way I can possibly tell her outright that she's losing her newborn child. That will absolutely break her heart. Thank Yggdrasil I'm in feminine company, because I have no clue on how to break the terrible news to my poor Sigyn.
"Loki, maybe you should just tell her the truth that you had no idea what would happen if you asked her for your sons and then show her the letter," Freyja suggests to me gently. Once again I have the joy, and slightly suspicious, chance to see this usually annoyed goddess' concern for my wife.
"Aye, for what else could I possibly do?" I agree.
"Just let her know you as deeply hurt as she is," Sif tells me, throwing an arm and my shoulders and squeezing me tightly. What the fuck?
"Dad, I'm going to need you to hand over Violette," Hel tells me cautiously. I nod and stand up, she copying my moves. "Worry not, I shall put her in a good home."
I nod again, but by this time I am absolutely numb to the world around me. There is no feeling here, just a sudden emptiness. My body is in shock. I almost feel like I have died. That would be so suiting right now.
"Come on. Let's just get this over with," I say quietly, subdued.
Hel grabs hold of my hand and walks along beside me towards the door, hanging from my arm. Sif and Freyja trail us, their gazes downcast. I take a deep breath and instantly my soul is extinguished. What happened from that moment until we got to where Sigyn was situated was all a blur to me, too unimportant for me to care about. All I am aware of us my unique daughter hugging my arm and the thick parchment in my other hand. I want to crumple the paper so bad and run. Run away from the bad news, from all of this. I can't find a point in me staying.
But here I am suddenly, completely awake to find Sigyn looking at me, so terrified. When Hel requested for Eir to come outside for a second and then left with Sif and Freyja, leaving me behind, my wife knew instantly that something was horribly wrong. Sometimes her sense of trouble does not help me in the slightest. Almost makes me wish I never got in trouble back in the day.
"Loki? What the fuck did you do?" Sigyn asks me instantly. She has Violette tightly wrapped in her arms, pressing the little body tightly to her breasts protectively.
I sigh. "Look, Sigyn, I never should have gone to Hel, because now we have to pay a price to get into Asgard."
"Out with it, Loki! What did the Yggdrasil did you do?" Sigyn shrieks at me.
"When I came to Hel I didn't know something was up, honest. Just read for yourself," I say calmly. I hand her the paper.
I watch her skim the note in a hurry, watching for a reaction. She gasps when she finishes, her eyes wide and her breath caught in her throat. She drops the paper, leans back, and presses Violette tightly to her, sobbing. She does not seem angry with me, though I have no doubt that she will get to that part. But who would not sob for their lost child?
"Oh Loki! First Vali and Narfi. And now Violette? Loki, why must Odin hate us so?" she weeps.
"I know not, Sigyn. He is a labyrinth of cruelty, or at least towards those he does not love. I know, Sigyn, this is my sixth lost child," I say.
I reach my arm around her shoulders and hug her close to me, resting my head against hers. Breaking down, she sobs into my shoulder, and I weep so with her. Eventually, though, Hel comes in, apologising. She tells us that she should probably start carrying out the orders for she is at risk of Odin's rage for her waiting around. We stand up and follow Hel out of the cave, returning to her castle. Sif and Freyja return to Asgard to spread news of this unhappy separation, trying to get the other Aesir to stick up for our case, reminding them of the gifts I gave them. We can only hope that some took pity on us and will try to change the Allfather's mind.
In the meantime, Sigyn and I wait in an antechamber to the Throne Room, for Hel refuses to release us until all is completed. She took away our little daughter with sorrow soon after we arrived, letting Sigyn and I give a heart-felt farewell to her before all was lost. Vali and Narfi had been called from the dead, standing just a thin wall away from us, alive and well now, in whatever form they may be in. It is our only comforting joy that at least they shall get a second chance at life. May it serve them all well.
Leaving my parents in the antechamber, I walk thoughtlessly into the Throne Room. My heart feels heavy as I carry the small child, my little sister, to her punishment. It pains me to see them so sad after such a joyful occasion as the of Violette. Curse Father and his ever need to make things grander! And curse Odin for even thinking of such a cruel punishment! It is not right, nor fair, nor pleasant. This is the worst thing I've ever done.
"Fetch me Vali and Narfi and bring them forth!" I bark at the servants. I step up onto my throne and sit with the child upon my lap, my eyes drinking in the sight of the fair little child.
The servant comes back in no time with my two lifeless younger brothers. They stand stock still in front of me, feet together, arms at their sides, and dead eyes staring dully ahead. They see, hear, and feel next to nothing. The dead's senses always become close to nonexistent when they come here, always in a dreaming stupor. The most they can do is answer a question when spoken to by either Odin or me. Though I guess Father must have some power over them, too, considering he is supposed to lead them as an army against the Aesir in Ragnorak. I still puzzle over this accomplishment.
I step down, handing the child carefully to my head servant, a female Aesir and daughter of Braggi. The three siblings now next to each other, I step back and stare sadly at them. These three, Sigyn's children, my siblings, make me feel extremely lucky for living. Fenrir, Jormungand, and I all lived, and we must remember that, for our normal brothers and sister got such a shorter end of all this. Thank Odin we're not normal!
But still, what a waste of intelligent Aesir! Looking at them, I find that Father is right, for Vali does indeed have red hair and green eyes. His sallow skin has a damp sheen to it, making the dark hair stick to the thin skin in an odd way, and his green eyes are void of any life, cold. Standing much shorter next to him, Narfi is just a smaller copy of the corpse. I feel terrible for striking off that beautiful hair of theirs. To be honest, I've always wanted the family red hair, and am deeply disappointing that I instead got this lively blonde.
Taking a deep breath, I start chanted the runes that I had practiced when I first received the note from the Allfather. Saying it perfectly, I now transform these darling siblings of mine into their respective assigned species, trying to keep their appearances as fair as I possibly can and making sure not to damage their personality in anyway, though I do strike all knowledge of their past. If their hearts truly are Aesir they will pull through and realise who they are.
I pull Vali in front of me and change him into a Dark Elf, trying not to make him to Troll-like. Short and terribly slender do I make him, darkening his skin and narrowing his eyes and making them dark brown, almost black. Dark Elfs are generally foul of appearance so I cannot help this much. I have the servants dress him in ragged clothes, trying to complete the appearance. I name him Koli, meaning "coal".
Pushing Koli back, I bring forth Narfi, my eyes sweeping over him once more so that I may forever hold onto that image. He may never be restored to it. I quickly shift him into a Dwarf, his hair darkening to an oily black and his eyes a deep brown. I extend his finger's length, making them to fit to job of making jewelry from rough metals. As my servants place on him his own torn clothing, I dub him Sindri, after the glorious hall. How different this makes my beloved brothers!
Next up is Violette, the precious Violette. I am glad I do not have to make her so hideous as I did to my brothers. That did them no justice at all, for both were innocent. I unwrap her of her swaddling slightly, rearranging her features to be more human. I feed more fat into her body, making her face much more chubby. I worsen her eyesight, but I am not sure if I did too much so. I shift her hearing lower ever so slightly, not wanting to take that away from her, too. I lighten her hair down to a pale blonde like mine, not wanting to be the only blonde in the family. Her blanket is fine, I need not to change any of that. I ponder her name and finally give up. The Mortals have so many names so I simply let her keep her current first name and give her a new last name. Stepzinksi. Yes, might as well make her Polish so that her fair hair shall make sense. Violette Stepzinksi sounds normal enough.
"Take Koli into the depths of Svartalfheim," I instruct one messenger. "Make sure he has a place to live."
"Take Sindri to the suburbs of Nidavellir," I tell another one. "See to it that he has gold to wrought."
"Take Violette to Midgard. Put her in a well populated but fair position," I demand of my head servant.
I dismiss my messengers to deliver the children and then let Sigyn and Loki out. I grimace as they come out, nodding my head before they can even say anything. Sigyn falls in on herself then, though. I step back in horror as her arms grasp around her thin ribs and sinks to her knees. Father kneels down next to her and pulls her into him, hugging her tightly to his chest and letting her sob on his shoulder. He buries his face into her hair and I see tears fall from his green eyes. Oh the grief! May they not die from sorrow! Please, let them be well!
Eir, whom was waiting in the hall, rushes in and hands a vial to the both of them. She tells them it is something to ease the terrible pain. Sigyn gulps it down immediately, putting too much trust in the goddess, but Father searches through it's contents, making sure it shall work instead of giving it false hope. Finally he sips the liquid and tosses the vial aside, uncaring. I do not mind, they have been through too much today.
When the potion finally kicks in and their sorrow subsides, they stand up and look at me. Sigyn embraces me and Father kisses me lightly on the forehead. They whisper their shaky gratitude and tell me that they shall be back to visit soon. I nod, fighting back my own tears.
"Thank you for at least giving them a decent home," Sigyn says, pressing me a gold necklace into my hand. I accept it, not wanting to reject her motherly love.
When they leave, I slip on the necklace, then look down. I raise my hands, glaring at both the alive and dead hands. Hot tears finally escape my grey and blue eyes, streaking my torn face. I can feel one of the tears accidentally fall into a small rip in the dead side of my skin, settling on my cheekbone. I do not bother to wipe it away.
Did I really just do that?
Heimdall saw us coming from his perch high on Bifrost. We trudged forward anyway, my own heart to weighted upon to care about his small frown about my appearance. I am sure he was expecting our arrival, but he would, of course, be upset about it anyway.
"Halt, Sly One! Where be your daughter?" he asks me.
"She was taken away from me by Hel. Now let me in," I order him, glaring through wet eyes. He frowns only deeper and his eyes widened.
"You may come through," he says, standing aside.
"Damn right," I mutter irritably.
We walk on to our small hall, the one we made our own even though it was not grand. It was ours, and we are glad to be home. I shove open the gold inlaid doors and enter the hall, Sigyn following at my heels. Inside all is the same, no one has touched a thing, but the place is dark and dusty. It shall take some cleaning, but this place can be restored easily.
Some Aesir offer their condolences on losing our daughter, such as Thor, while others just smile at my defeat. Odin never comes towards me, minding me enough to avoid Sigyn and me. I ignore it all.
At times I wander how my children could possibly guess that they are from my loins, but what can I do? I just live one day at a time, reading the books of the Asgard library, trying to find some text that will tell me how to regain my children.
These days are unbearably long.
NOTES:
Dark Elves and Dwarves are said to be the same people but there are cases when they are viewed separately so please note that the two are different species, hence the different locations. The new names of Vali and Narfi mean what Hel says they mean.
As for Vali and Narfi's appearances, I really don't know what they looked like. No one does. So I groped around in the dark and made up that Vali was a shape-shifter so he could have the weird features, and Narfi couldn't care less. I don't know if it has any real meaning. It was just so I could emphasize the importance of Loki to his children.
All else should probably be obvious. I most likely won't continue this. I lost interest in a daughter.
One Last Thing, though:
To Marelne Byrd: Oh, sweetie, your review is appreciated, but I want to correct you on some things, because, trust me, you didn't research the facts:
1. Sigyn- No where in the myths does it ever mention Sigyn's appearance. She is unknown, meaning I could do with her what I pleased, since I was basing off the actual myths not the comics, which are a dim version of the myths. And if you're talking about Loki's Sorrows, well, we all have a version of her. We don't need to conform to someone else's perception.
2. Loki- Yes, red hair is in the myths, but that's not the way it was in the movie Thor, which I based for Loki's Sorrows. I keep them separate, thank you.
3. I'm having fun correcting all of your spelling errors.
4. I have no intention in putting Greek mythology in here. This is between the Norse gods and I do not want a whole other pantheon to add to the stress. But I encourage you to check my other story which is a Greek/Norse Mythology crossover if you're so interested. Or write your own. Also, Percy Jackson? Are you serious? The writer messed up some valuable Greek mythology facts so no, don't you bring that up. If you really are a major in writing, you would recognise this. Finally, stop writing poetically? No. Just, no. That's what makes me unique in this word of texting.
I can stand constructive criticism, but I encourage you all to read carefully instead of making assumptions. Linking Loki's Sorrows and Necessary Actions will mess you up in my writing. Sorry if I seem totally rude and unappreciative, I just want you to get what I'm saying here. Thank you.