Blair

Tonight I did the most stupid thing in my life I got punch drunk and now I am in chuck's room at the palace please send help! What's wrong with me I mean I just faked me being drunk and I get some quality time with Chuck? I just wanted to be with Chuck I wanted to see if he actually did care for me or it was just pretend. I wanted his arms around me holding my waist like he used to do.

When I woke up I wasn't half naked legs opened wide, and Chuck sleeping next to me. I was alone in the plaza. He didn't come. I was upset because, I had a feeling that chuck would do that to me. And I had this fairytale were he saves me, and after he saves me I tells me how much he loves me then he would take me in his arms and let me stay there till we die. But just like fool I thought that Chuck is a changed man, but like before it never sticks.

I know what the final straw on the camel's back was the fact that I relied too much on Chuck to be my white knight that would come and protect me. I guess you can't have it all and when you attempted to have it all you lose it all. And with Chuck I lost it all, Yale, and the love of my life. I want a relationship that's simple no gimmicks no manipulation, not just sexual chemistry, I wanted something real.

So I guess I knew then and there that Nate was my answer. I needed something safe. I needed someone who could be with me the whole night and be there in the morning. I've been so embarrassed of my actions, I've become a new Blair, but this Blair isn't someone who I don't even know. I've become some guy's booty call. And like any girl in this position I curled up into a ball, and cried until I had no tears to shed.

Chuck----------------------------

It seems to me that last night was a turning point in our relationship come on I could have done the scum thing and took advantage of Blair, or did the gentleman thing which I did and left her alone while I waited at her door for her to come out. Maybe I should have done some grand romantic gesture and kissed her and told her that I loved her. But I didn't, because I want her to remember to exact moment that I told her I loved her. And when I had woken up this morning the only sound I heard was Blair crying telling herself that it was ok to do what she had to do…. But what was it... did she planned something involving me. But what was it. Then I heard something, something that she said explained why she was crying.

"Blair if he loves you, he will tell you. But he hasn't so you need to move on. Nate is not bad and he loves you, it is just for a while just to feel like a real man feels like."

No what is she saying I love her! I love her! Every tear, scream, bite, scratch, every kiss, I love blair waldorf

Here comes nate….

love