Well, I thought, as I sat here bored…'I'm going to do the letter that warned all the teachers about this bet.' So treat this as a bonus. Oh, by the way, I used my Japanese name, ok?? I couldn't think of anything else…

To: All Teachers & Staff, Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft & Wizardry.

From: The Desk of Prof. Minerva McGonagall, Headmistress

Subject: There is a bet between two students that requires our attention.

Allow me to inform you that this is not the Headmistress, but her assistant, Teyano Kiku. Professor asked that I deliver and write this to you, for she is busy with work. But back to the subject: I am sure all of you are aware of Mr. Harry Potter being in our school. (He's a tall brunette Gryffindor with a lightning bolt scar of his forehead- kind of hard to miss.) But, I believe only a few of you know about the rivalry he has with Mr. Draco Malfoy. (Malfoy heir, he's a blonde, grey-eyed Slytherin- hard to avoid.)

It seems these two students, having aged to point where they don't settle everything with fists, have made a bet. Mr. Malfoy is stated on record to "constantly rag on that dude's clothes, like all the time, man". (The student who made this statement doesn't want their identity shared.) Apparently fed up with that, Mr. Potter delivered him this bet: he impresses the Malfoy heir with his clothes by the end of the semester or he has to wear whatever is asked of him. Same goes if Mr. Malfoy is the loser. (This secretary would ask the permission to share that if I were the winner- I'd have both of them naked. But I can't ask that since I'm still on parole from the last time I asked a minor that…)

We are allowing this bet to take place. For those of you that don't known about the rivalry, you probably also don't know about the…tension between these two of a sexual matter. Allow me to specify, Mr. Potter and Malfoy seem to quite fancy each other, but neither will admit it. There have been times when their psychical fighting seems more like the foreplay neither of them realize they are having. While it might seem like nothing to those not constantly involved in such matters, let me tell you: this is very serious! The atmosphere between the two youths has been rumored to choke anyone innocent enough to not handle the unbridled lust. (If that doesn't tell you how serious it is, allow me to tell you that many a first year student here at Hogwarts has been subjected to a temporary coma. All because they wanted to get closer to the Boy-Who-Lived and timed it wrong so he ended up in between the two rivals.)

So why am I writing all the teachers and not just the ones that teach these two students? Because the Headmistress has requested all adults help with this very important task of making the two boys realize their feelings. What can you do? Well, there are guidelines and more help below.

~Guidelines~

Do not seduce the couple yourself. They're minors and destined for each other. I don't care if you 'think that brunette could use a real man that could show his body what real pleasure is'. Just, no…it's WRONG!

Do not slip love potions in their juice. Something always goes wrong with those. (See the Christmas debacle of '87. In which, our former Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore was slipped one and had an 'accident' with Professor Severus Snape.)

Do not cast a spell of any romantic inclination. These go bad also. (See the Surprise Event of '98. It was the first time in reported history that we found out a werewolf could get a wizard pregnant, even in his transformed state. See also Lupin and Black pregnancy.)

Do not encourage them to videotape their sexual intercourse. Nor should you ask your boss if you can hide cameras around their usual hangouts. (See Secretary Kiku almost fired for being a major pervert.)

Do not cast spells that render our subjects nude. For obvious reasons. (See Secretary Kiku tries to start nudist colony inside wholesome school.)

DO NOT MENTION THIS TO HARRY POTTER OR DRACO MALFOY! The mention of the underside of the bet could uproot any grounding their relationship is on.

How You Can Help

Regular accidents can provoke extraordinary feelings. Such as 'accidently' pushing one of the boys into the other. Just try not to do it around stairs. The school refuses to be held liable.

Jealousy makes one realize how valuable another is. So therefore, even if it involves heartbreak for the third student involved, try to encourage charges that they have a chance with Mr. Potter or Malfoy. The school refuses to be held liable should a student then need therapy or a shoulder to cry on.

Compliment! Make sure that when you walk by in the hall, you tell one of our subjects how great they look. (See above topic of jealousy.) This might make them confident enough to confess or make the other realize that their rival does in fact, look nice today.

Create 'dangerous' situations in which one of the boys is in trouble and only the other one can save them. (See magic-binding and selective magic for more information.)

Hint! 'My, what a lovely couple you'd make.' 'Wow, your children would be beautiful!' 'I bet you guys would have awesome sex!' It doesn't specifically matter what you say as long as you hint at their chemistry.

Create a romantic atmosphere. Say you run into the bickering couple in the hall…simply create a radio or music device and play some Barry Manilow. If they don't start going at it, there is something seriously wrong.

Other Information

We would ask that you do not disturb the couple when there is a nice mood going on. If they already seem close, then there is no need for interference.

Mr. Potter has a tendency to be (also on record, from the same student) "glomped, man! He gets major huggles from the fangirls and boys. It's creeping me out, man!' If Mr. Malfoy is nowhere near the scene, then break it up. If Mr. Malfoy is there, it's a chance for him to realize his feelings.

There are four other students that are important to the bet. That would be Blaise Zabini, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, and Pansy Parkinson. They are given free reign until otherwise notified.

You teachers that decide this not a cause worth your time will be spending two years as the Weasley twins' test subject.

If you are curious for more information or are unclear on something, please contact us. Professor McGonagall and I will assist in anything to get those two nits together. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Prof. M. McGonagall, Headmistress, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry

K.T.

Hehe! Took forever to write! But how was it? REVIEW!!