A/N: Oh yeah, we forgot to mention one of our patrons…one of the great inventors of this messed up story. Alison Bowe, we love you scallywag! Oh, and if no one catches this, Joseph Buquet in POTO is played by Kevin McNally, who incidentally, plays Mr. Gibbs in POTC. Haha….didn't know if you'd catch that…
--End note--
The course of the day turned out to be…well, in a few words…A DISASTER. But what did you expect? A bunch of callous, selfish, ruthless pirates, (and Norrington) shoved into a world where everything is civilized, orderly, and clean.
Let's start with Elizabeth, shall we? Her newly assigned job as a chorus girl did not go well. First, she started fighting with all of the others, and calling them 'sluts.' Then Madame Giry got mad at her choreography, and yelled at her in front of all of the girls, resulting in Elizabeth imitating her as she left the room, which resulted in Madame Giry hitting her over the head with her cane. Then for the rest of the rehearsal, Elizabeth snuck out of line, and sat backstage with an icepack on her head.
Norrington…eh…he was the costume directors…assistant…manager? What's the word I'm looking for? How about…incompetent assistant. ALL he had to do was lay out the costumes that the chorus girls and leading voices had to change into, but OF COURSE, he just thinks he so fashion savvy. So he mixed and matched all of the costumes, resulting in the costumes looking like something threw up out of Alice in Wonderland. If anyone didn't know any better, they'd think he was gay.
Will was a stagehand, and since he was a rigger on the Black Pearl, he knew how to tie all of the knots, and secure all of the riggings. But when one of his fellow employees made a mistake, which he considered to be not qualified, he'd blow his top, because of his newfound cynicism and bitterness.
"NO! Imbecile! The Shankar's knot goes like this! Make a loop, around the tree three times, and into the hole! Idiot!" Will's shouts echoed through the stage.
"Pardon me…sir!" Buquet said back sarcastically.
"Get to it Gibbs!" Will shouted back.
"Gibbs?" Buquet wondered to himself as Will stomped away.
Now for Jack…the Phantom gave him a…special assignment.
"Mr. Sparrow, or, excuse me, Captain, you have an important assignment." Jack scowled, and folded his arms childishly. The Phantom handed him a pair of chopsticks.
"Now...take these…not like that you insidious…! That's it…now, you will catch-"the Phantom lifted up a small jar with a single fly in it. "This fly, with these chopsticks, and once you do that, you can do anything!" Jack held up the chopsticks at eye level, and then gave the Phantom a puzzled look.
"Really?"
"Yes! Yes…you can do anything I can do!"
"Is that how you became like that…likes yourself? An accomplished murderer and, and, and, and, sneak?" The Phantom pursed his lips.
"Yes…"
"So…can I have a cape, like you?"
"Sure…"
"But I don't want that face! EW! If I'm gonna be like you, I'm not having that face!" the Phantom gritted his teeth.
"No…Just catch the fly!" the Phantom swiped the chopsticks out of Jack's hands, and threw them at him with impressive force.
"AAHH!" Jack squealed. "Was that really necessary?"
……………………………………………………………………………………………....
The Gala for II Muto was two nights away. And thanks to our four incompetents on stage, no one was ready. Because of this, everyone was forced to stay and rehearse until two in the morning. This was making everyone very irritable…making things worse than normal…if that was possible.
Madame Giry was at the end of her rope with Elizabeth. All Elizabeth did was criticize the other girls, call them names, and make eyes at their boyfriends. So Madame Giry decided to demote her to the most demeaning, small level possible. Her assistant…slave.
"DEMOTE ME?! WHAT? I'VE ONLY BEEN HERE LIKE…ONE DAY!" Elizabeth shrieked.
"And within that short time you have destroyed my entire ballet corps! So NOW as your punishment you will do EVERYTHING I tell you! Got it?" Madame shouted at her.
"But-,"
"EVERYTHING!"
"But I-,"
"And you will start by going into the backstage linen closet and getting me the rouge bucket!"
Elizabeth glowered at her, but turned around and began to walk backstage, furiously. She heard a few chorus girls snigger at her on the way, this made her angrier. She noticed one of their boyfriends standing near, seized him by his collar, and kissed him smack on the mouth….right in front of the girlfriend.
"Oooh…" the man said in a drunken voice as Elizabeth walked away.
"PIERRE! How could you?!!" she heard the chorus girl burst into tears, and she gave a satisfied smile as she walked off.
………………………………………………………………………………………………
"So, Jack, I'll leave you to your little task." The Phantom laughed at Jack's stupidity, as Jack swiped frantically in midair trying to catch the measly fly. The Phantom walked briskly and silently through the maze of hallways behind the stage, planning on going to bother the managers to let Christine sing the lead in Il Muto. He turned a corner, only to see Elizabeth's foot sticking out of a doorway.
"Come...ON!" the Phantom peered around the doorframe to see Elizabeth reaching as high as she could for a bucket on the highest shelf.
"Mademoiselle Swan?" he asked.
Elizabeth spun around so quickly she knocked over several brooms. She smiled flirtatiously and smoothed her hair over rapidly.
"Oh…hello Monsieur Phantom, I didn't see you come in."
"You weren't supposed to." He told her. "Do you…er…need help there?" he gestured to the bucket. She looked up at it and turned around with a fake helpless smile.
"Yes, that awful Madame Giry made me get it…but it's not my fault I'm so small." She said with a pretend pout.
Trying not to roll his eyes, the Phantom said, "All right I'll help you." He walked over to the shelf and Elizabeth moved aside. He was really tall, but still had to stretch a bit. As he stretched upwards Elizabeth bent forward, getting a very good look at him. Unable to resist, she reached forward and gave the side of his thigh a hard pinch.
"Gah!" the Phantom yelled in shock, stumbling backwards, the bucket falling with him. He whirled around at Elizabeth, who stood there with an innocent expression on her face. She put her hands behind her back quickly.
"Why'd you do that?" he asked.
"Do what?" she asked.
"Pinch me…agh…never mind, I need to leave…" he started to move forward, but she stood in front of him. He moved in the other direction, and she mirrored him, forcing him to stay inside. He sighed impatiently.
"Excuse me Mademoiselle Swan, but I-,"
Suddenly, Elizabeth put her hands on his shoulders and forced him against the opposite wall into a semi-sitting position. His eyes were huge with surprise as she leaned forward, pressing herself up against him.
"I just don't understand why you waste your time with that Christine." She muttered, with her mouth and inch from his.
"Well, I-,"
His words were cut off by the most fiery, forceful kiss in the entire world. As soon as he felt tongue, he grabbed her shoulders lightly and shoved her away.
"Mademoiselle Swan…"
"Call me Lizzie." She breathed lustily.
"Er…all right, Lizzie. Listen, you're a very beautiful woman but my heart belongs to another."
Elizabeth gave a shrug. "That's the only thing of yours that belongs to her …right?"
"Yes…"
"Then couldn't, something else of yours, perhaps…you know, belong to me."
The Phantom felt his face flush slightly at that statement. He was going to refuse but as he opened his mouth, Elizabeth put her finger over his lips.
"Before you answer, just remember that you haven't gotten and probably aren't going to get any from Christine. But I'll give you all you want because I like you…I really, really like you."
He thought for a minute and then shrugged. "Oh, why not?" then he leaned forward and kissed Elizabeth so intensely she squealed with delight. As these two began to make out in the closet--very fiercely might I add, you could hear things falling off shelves from a mile away--Jack was running down the hall trying to catch that stupid fly!
"COME HERE! YOU LITTLE BUGGER! I HATE YOU! AGHHHH!" he screamed in frustration, as he bolted down the hall, plowing over a few chorus girls in the act.
"Is that Jack?" The Phantom asked, pulling himself away from Elizabeth's lips, and breathing heavily.
"Does it matter?" she asked, trying to unfasten the buttons on his tailcoat.
"Well he's sort of my slave, so yes." The Phantom opened the closet door slightly and saw Jack leaping in the air with the chopsticks to catch the fly each time letting out a "Agggguuuhhh!!"
"What is he doing?" Elizabeth wondered with repulse, pulling her sleeves back over her shoulders.
"Something I told him to do, to keep him busy." The Phantom shut the door. "Ah, I've got an idea."
"What-?"
"Shhh." He hushed her gently. He cleared his throat and called out loudly, "Jack?"
They heard Jack's yelling stop.
"Who's there?"
"Um…it's me, your conscience."
Jack let out a scared yelp. "Conscience….oh no I thought I got rid of you years ago! What are you doing here?! Leave me alone!"
"Jack, are you doing what the Phantom asked you?"
"I'm trying to, but it's SO HARD!"
"Well keep trying…" the Phantom said, Elizabeth looked at him longingly. "Uh…upstairs, in the rafters, try it up there, it'll work better."
Jack sighed, "Do I have to?"
"YES YOU DO YOU IM-I mean…yes, Jack, you do." The Phantom forced his voice to be calm.
"Fine…" they heard the chopsticks start clicking again. "COME HERE YOU EVIL FLY!" Jack's yelling drowned out as he ran away.
As the Phantom turned back around Elizabeth's arms were instantly around his neck, her lips massacring his as she tried to pull him to the ground.
"Elizabeth…Elizabeth…stop…wait!" he pulled her away.
"No! I can't wait….not now!" she growled. "Don't you want to do it?"
"Yes, of course…but not here…we need a better location." He took her hand, opened the door, and looked around. No one was back there, so he led her into the hallway and started hurrying her down towards his lair.