AN:
Ughh
uGHH
Seasonal Affective is the worst thing ever (If you don't know what that is, it's basically 'depression in winter' (it comes in other seasons, but most commonly in winter)))
like all I can do is wait for spring and THATS IT. I've been so lazy latley, i've missed the first 2 periods of class this whole week because i've gotten up late. So, this chapter is kinda... Meh. It's not bad, but it doesn't really advance the story.
Here is Feliciano's and Lovino's introduction, as well with another Toris bit. I don't like this chapter, the only thing that advances the story is Feliciano and Lovino's intro, Alfred telling Arthur the rules to 'S.A.H.' (Hipster!Alfred is best Alfred), and that little end bit. But besides that, this is a filler.
I'm guessing this will be a longer story. It's already around fifty pages and nothing serious has happened yet, nor has Arthur started to devolp (love) feelings for Alfred. No way i'm rushing this story along. So this will be a longer story, how long, I don't know.
Oh and what's with my X thing between segments? I... I actually don't know. Before I just used this /**/, but I use an X for this. Maybe I think it looks cool or something.
Okay i'm going to go sleep until winter is over bye
(Just kidding the next chapter should be up in a week))
By the way, Reviews are seriously helpful. It just motivates me a lot to get moving on this thing! I'm not going to stop if I don't get reviews or anything, but it just helps me get the chapter done a lot faster. Big Thanks to all of you who have been reviewing!
X
I waited for Alfred after school, just like I said I would. This time I'm not backing out. After I got my bags I rushed outside to meet him at the flag post, actually excited. I was excited to hang out with other humans for once. Talk to Liz and Alfred, meet the mysterious Feliciano and Lovino, and avoid Francis. I'm not sure how I felt about Gilbert, I didn't know him very well yet, so I can't say. Maybe his Albinism made me uncomfortable, or the fact he had a relationship with Alfred. Maybe both. But, before I knew it, I was in fact at his house. It was odd seeing my house off at the end of my street and not walking to it.
Alfred's basement smelt faintly of cigars and french fries. Alfred's mother, Cynthia, didn't want us upstairs. She was a tall lady, but wasn't wide like Alfred was. I assumed Alfred got his broadness from his dad, because his mother looked spindly and weak. She looked worn down, just like my mom, but younger, and prettier.
But, she didn't want us dirty teenagers upstairs and sentenced us to the basement. Apparently whenever Alfred has friends over they all go into the basement because it seemed like a normal routine for him. I think Alfred's family is rich, his house is humongous, like the basement was huge and finished.
Basically, the basement was it's own floor. The floor had a deep purple carpet, and the walls were made of dark brown strips of wood. There was a couch and a brown chair across from that, a flat screen, and behind that some cupboards with what i'm guessing to be dry foods like cookies and smart-food popcorn. But that's only the just of it, thats only the main room. There is a bedroom, a bathroom, and as Alfred showed me this cool little 'hidden' room inside the bedroom. It wasn't really a room, just a small room that Alfred called the snuggle hideaway (I chuckled at that), and Alfred had filled it with blankets and pillows.
"I sleep in here sometimes, it's cozy," He told me. It really only looked like two people could fit in it.
"Mh, looks it."
After Alfred had shown me everything his wondrous basement had to offer, we sat down on the couch and began to talk, like normal people.
Now came the question of if I should tell Alfred about my erm, problem. My depression, my (possible) PTSD. My flashes. No, I shouldn't, I mean... Alfred doesn't have to know. It's not necessary. But, then again, if he sees me flash, it would be safe to have him know before hand. But, no, Alfred won't get that close to me. I can't let him, I can't let anyone get that close to me. So no, I won't tell him.
"So, what do you do?"
"hm?" I perked up in confusion, cocking my head as I turned towards him.
"I mean, hobbies," Alfred said, nodding as he turned to look towards the blank TV screen. He looked like some lax, cool guy, one arm along the back of the couch, and his legs crossed. Alfred was so attractive. Even if I didn't like him in that way, he is attractive. Just how Francis is attractive but I hate him. The difference being I like Alfred as a friend.
"Well, I don't do very much..." I murmured with a shrug. Does eating and sleeping count as a hobby? I can make a killer pillow fort. "Uhmm.. I guess I uh, I'm good in the arts of rest."
"Arts of rest?" Alfred turned to look towards me again, his brow creasing, but a smile displayed on his face.
"Yeah, I can uh, pillow forts." I said with a shrug, "And um, I don't know, I can make anything cozy. I sleep like, everywhere." I chuckled a little. Alfred laughed too.
"Well um... Do you play like, an instrument?"
"Nah," I shook my head. Alfred shuffled a little.
"That sucks," Alfred said. Then he yawned, stretching out his arms over his head. I nodded, not sure how else to respond. I do draw, but I don't do it very seriously. It's just something fun I do.
We fell silent. Alfred took a breath a few times as if he was about to speak, but then he didn't. Everytime he did, I looked towards him, then looked away.
...Maybe I should say something.
"So," I said, with a large, lofty sigh, "What do you guys... Call yourselves?" What I meant was where does Alfred beileve he fits in. Whatever it is, unless he classifies himself as a 'depressed teenager who could rip someones head off in a second', then I doubt I'd fit in with his friend group.
"Most definitely a hipster," Alfred said with the biggest grin ever. Ha, ha, nope. I knew it. Then there was another silence, and I was afraid it was going to be a long one, but it was quickly over by the basement door slamming open.
"Lizzie in the house!" Was heard, and Alfred smiled really wide, and it kinda hurt because he seemed relieved that someone less boring was here. But, I am boring, so it's okay for him to be relieved I guess. Still hurts though.
But then I heard some voices I didn't recognize, but despite that, I knew who they were. "Ciao Mother fuckers!" Alfred and I were now both leaning against the back of the couch, watching as Liz and two males start to march down the steps.
Feliciano and Lovino, I'm guessing. They both had very similar features, the only thing different was their hair color. One had red hair, the other had brown, but it was the same texture; curly and thick. Both clearly Italian, their slightly olive colored skin tanned to perfection. Jesus, are all of Alfred's friends handsome?
"Yo guys," Alfred said with a smile. I lifted up a hand in a weak wave.
"Hey, Arthur!" Liz completely ignored Alfred, he gawked, and Liz half-hugged my body. It felt nice, being noticed first, for once.
"Hey Liz," I said quietly, hugging her back gently. I could feel her breasts press against my chest, weird. It was odd how she liked me so much and we've only know each other for about a week, but I kinda liked it. I felt appreciated.
"Who's this bastard?" The brown-haired Italian said plainly. I narrowed my eyes after Liz separated from me, and I let out a small, defensive grunt. This is the way the Arthur Kirkland defends itself, it's deadly stare and territorial grunt warns off foes, but it's harmless besides that. "Ooh, wow, very scary."
"C'mon Lovi," Alfred hissed, looking at me, then back at the Italian. I'm guessing this was Lovino. "This is Arthur, be nice to him." Liz and the other boy, who I'm guessing was Feliciano, started to giggle.
"Don't mind him Arthur, he talks like that a lot," Liz said with a wide smile.
"Arthur?" Lovino questioned, and I looked at him with a scowl. I hated people who thought they were better than everybody else, which this guy clearly did. "I don't like that name..." Lovino paused, looking over me, "How about shithead? Yeah, that sounds good."
I snorted again, "Arthur."
Lovino flashed me a smirk, "Whatever ya say, shithead." Alfred then growled, which I expected Lovino to sink down like Francis had done during lunch, but Lovino kept his lips puckered and arms crossed, unfazed. "Wow, I'm really scared. Trying to protect your new friend,fruitcake?"
"He gives us rude nicknames," Liz said with a shrug, "I'm cuntface."
"And I'm dumbass," Feliciano chirped. He sounded much happier than his brother.
"Clearly, I'm fruitcake," Alfred said with a frustrated sigh, then he turned towards me slightly ,"Sorry about this."
"It's fine," I said with a shrug and a smile, like it was no big deal. And it wasn't a big deal, it wasn't even a deal.
Feliciano stepped out from behind his brother, walking over to me in the girliest way he could. It seemed happy, and he swayed his hips a little. It was odd how different the two were, a little unnerving actually. Feliciano reached a hand out to me, "Hey, I'm Feliciano, call me Feli if ya want."
"Or Mario!" Alfred added with a giggle.
"And do not call me Luigi." Lovino blurted out with a huff, crossing his arms.
I nodded, smiling a little as a kind, meeting response. "Nice to meet you, I'm Arthur. Just, call me Arthur." I shook his hand quickly, but it was a hardy, manly handshake.
"So, why's he here," Lovino motioned towards me as Feliciano stepped to the side a little. Liz put a hand on my shoulder, jeesh, personal space, lady.
"He's my friend," Alfred said with a snort.
"And mine too," Liz said.
Feliciano looked at me with a questioning glance as if asking permission to be my friend. I smiled and nodded, and the redhead lit up, "And mine!" I chuckled a little bit.
Lovino narrowed his eyes at me, straightening his back out a little. This guy is frustrating me more than he should be. "Don't tell me he's joining us."
"You make it sound like our friend group is a secret association of hipsters," Alfred said with a smile, but there was a clear amount of annoyance in his voice. I laughed a little at that though.
Eventually, Lovino looped around the couch, and we all sat normally. Fortunately, Liz made it clear she wanted to sit between Alfred and I, so Feliciano and his brother sat on the other side of Alfred. I started to miss Alfred's warm smiles, it was odd being around him and not seeing him smile. He had smiled a few times, but not the 'too-big-for-his-face' smiles that I liked.
"So, Arthur," Alfred began to speak, and I leaned over to see around Liz. "There has to be a few, small things ya have to do to become part of the S.A.H."
"S.A.H.?" Liz and I questioned. I heard Lovino groan in frustration as Alfred stood up.
"Secret Association of Hipsters," Alfred said with a wink and an idiotic smile. I rolled my eyes, but a lofty laugh left my throat. "Number one! You must never like new things!"
I looked at Alfred with a smile, my eyebrows arching upwards in that questioning expression. "Really?"
"Yes, really," Alfred paced around the couch. "No new things. Like a new band? Too bad. Like a band from 2005 and below? Only like their old songs. That's how it works." I couldn't even beileve what Alfred was saying, oh god, it was so strangely adorable but irritating. He his such the hipster.
"Okay," I rolled my eyes again. It was an eyeroll fest. I could tell Liz was watching us with an interest.
"Two, ditch those black sweatshirts. They don't compliment you, too baggy. And dark. I see you in British flag tanktops. I like the jeans, though." I growled a little bit at that, my fashion style? C'mon, I don't have a fashion style. The whole point of my sweaters is to be baggy.
"But I like the dark." I responded with, slowly taking my arms out of my sleeves and resting them on my stomach, still inside the sweater.
"But it doesn't look good on you." Alfred responded with simply, a shrug following. I frowned. "But okay, number three, you have to listen to Imagine Dragons."
I paused, Imagine Dragons... That's a erm, band, right? They play Radioactive, i've heard it on the radio a few times. "The guys who made radioactive?"
"Yes but we don't talk about that song," Alfred said with a small groan, "That song is new. New is our enemy as hipsters." Liz and Alfred began to giggle. But then Alfred leaned over toward me, his lips right above my ear. "But don't worry, I'll still be your friend even if you don't do that shit," he whispered. His lips and breath tickled my ear, and I felt my face grow a little hot. Shit, Arthur, cut it out.
Alfred pulled back and laughed. I smiled wearily back, as Alfred being that close to me was a little alarming. Not alarming in a bad way, though. "Okay, assignment for tonight," Alfred said once he pulled away, "You have to listen to Imagine Dragons. Not the Night Visions Album though, how about Hell and Silence? Yeah, listen to Hell And Silence, it's one of their old EP's."
I nodded in agreement. Listening to songs? That was easy, I can do that. But i'm not sure if i'll like them, hopefully I will so I don't fail Alfred. Even though he clearly stated he would still like me. I would still like to make him happy.
I went home soon after to get started on Alfred's homework. We parted with a warm smile, a wave, and a grimace from Lovino.
Okay, I really like Alfred. He's great, and funny, and so is Liz. Liz is a little touchy-feely though, but, I still like her. She's fun. I don't like Lovino though, he's a douche. He scoffs and frowns at everything I do, and it's aggravating. Whatever, I'm not letting this guy under my skin...!
But Alfred can get under my skin all he wants. Because he's nice to me, therefore I shall let him visit the areas under my skin. Damn that sounds wrong, but, you know what I mean...!
Maybe friendships are easier than I thought? So far I really like Alfred and Liz, and it's come to me so easily and fluidly. This is great, maybe life will be a little better this year. I'm not going to go out of my way for them, and hopefully they don't go out of their way for me. We'll just hang from time to time.
This looks like it's going to be a wonderful acquaintanceship.
X
I did infact do Alfred's homework of listening to the 'Hell and Silence' Imagine Dragons EP. It was... Well, alright. Not something i'd listen on an everyday basis, but the songs were fun. Selene and All Eyes had to be my favorites.
Alfred has now begun texting me on a everyday basis. We'd go back and forth for an hour until either he would have to do a chore, or I would need to eat dinner. He would start our conversations with dorky stuff like 'hey mofo'. A very few times I starter our conversations, but with calmer things like 'hey Al.'
My life became less messy. I had an actual agenda, what to do when, a script my brain followed. Find Liz in the morning, survive the first four periods and always sit in the back, sit at Alfred's table for lunch, and walk home with Alfred after school. I never went over his house again, we just walked to our street together before branching off. It was nice, I appreciated talking to Alfred. Francis started being less of a douche, but he still annoyed me. Gilbert was okay, he was kind of cocky and loud, louder than Alfred, but he didn't bother me purposefully. Alfred and Gilbert dating still makes me uncomfortable. They're an odd couple. Everything seems so forced, on both sides, but yet at the same time it looks real...
It's a little stressful, but nothing worth mentioning.
My trust with Toris has grown. He is a nice guy, gentle, but yet a little forceful. But his forcefulness isn't noticeable, he just tries to get me to talk about things that are deep, and if I get off topic, he'll suddenly, gently, push me back into the previous direction. It's a very good therapist personality. It seems he's actually interested in my life, in my thoughts, even if they aren't sad. Because i'm not sad constantly, especially now.
It's almost a joy to talk to Toris now. I really feel appreciated and understood. It's nice. Plus I don't have to worry about holding back.
"Good evening, Arthur," has always been Toris's greeting.
"Good evening, Toris," Has always been my comeback.
I sat down in the loveseat chair, it's purple fabric feeling nice against my skin. I folded my legs, feeling comforted and at home, as I had gotten really used to the environment now. Toris closed the door, folding his arms behind his back as he made his way back to his desk. I sat up and smiled a little.
"So," Toris's desk chair creaked loudly as he plopped back down in it. He leaned over his desk, folding his hands. He smiled. "How's it going?"
"Just dandy," I said with a smile, tapping my wrists, which were now bandage-free. The only thing on my wrists were faint scars and a crude drawing of a butterfly I drew out of boredom. "Alfred and I have been walking home every day now. And next semester when I take theater, Liz is gonna be in the same period with me."
"That's good," Toris smiled, nodding. "How are things going at home?"
"Well, I'm not going insane," I laughed a little, "Just as they were before, but, less cutting. I've been doing fine, so there is no reason for that." Toris nodded, the ends of his long hair bouncing a little. "The only thing that is bugging me is Alfred's relationship with Gilbert, but it's small, so I don't mind."
"How so?" Toris suddenly became interested, well, more interested. His brow creased and his lips puckered slightly, which was Toris's normal listening face. I bit my lip, I couldn't answer that question. I didn't know why it bugged me. It just made me uncomfortable, I guess. I don't like seeing relationships with people I like.
"Like, I guess I just don't, I like, hmm..." I paused to think, "I guess since I like Alfred, it's odd seeing him with someone. Like how I get uncomfortable with my parent's relationship."
"Ah."
I nodded, unsure of what to do.
"Do you like Alfred?"
"Well, yes."
"I mean, like-like Alfred."
"Oh, no." I shook my head, but I didn't say it as if I was disgusted with that. Alfred would be fun to date, and if he offered me to go out with him, and I wasn't mentally unstable, I'd take it. But I wouldn't allow that to happen as I don't want to hurt him with my flashes. "He's handsome, and I guess I would say yes if he asked me to date him, but it's not like I dream about it. I do not like-like Alfred." I didn't want to say love, love sounds odd.
"He's just a friend, okay," Toris chuckled quietly, "so, have you been drawing anything lately?"
"Just stupid swirly tornado things, I haven't had much time with school and all." Even though my life was going good, which was great, I felt bad that Toris and I didn't have much to talk about.
"Well erm," Toris paused, "how's school been?" Jeez, this is getting awkward.
"Just hard to wake up in the morning," I shrugged, "a little boring. I only see my friends during lunch and in the morning."
Despite these awkward visits, leaving from Toris' office I always felt fresh. Like, a good fresh, not a numb fresh. I felt all relieved and the rest of the day was just good. I would usually take a shower when I got home to feel twice as good. This is the reason why I looked forward to these visits, as afterward was the only time I felt good.
It was hard to imagine leaving a visit and not feeling good.
But I had no clue that despite the great new friends I had earned, and an awesome therapist, that I would not always be leaving my therapist's office happy. That nothing could stop me from myself besides one person I was too afraid to get close to. That this year would be one of the most busiest years in my entire life.
And 'busy' isn't an entirely good thing.