Fasting love Chapter 4, a m.i. high fanfic

thanks to beta

AN THIS CHAPTER IS SPLIT. THERE IS THE FIRST SECTION WHICH IS FOR EVERYONE THEN THE FOLLOWING TWO SECTIONS ARE SIMILAR HOWEVER THE FIRST CONTAINS HINT OF SELF HARM AND THE SECOND CONTAINS NONE. PLEASE CHOOSE WHICH YOU WOULD LIKE TO READ.

"I'm just going to…." Oscar muttered "I'm.. I…." Slowly he stood and started towards the door.

"Wait" Rose called "Oscar, please." She reached out and took his wrist looking deep into his pain filled eyes and noticed how child like they were behind his confident and older outer self. "Oscar, let me help" All that responded this was his shaking his hand free gently and disappearing from sight not long later.

AN THIS PART CONTAINS MENTIONS OF SELF HARM PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED THERE IS ALTERNATIVE CHAPTER AFTER THE NEXT LINE

Closing the door Oscar suddenly realized that by walking away he might have just lost his last chance. The bed creaked softly as he sat down and put his head in his hands, tears starting to form in his eyes. A few deep shakes racked through his body and a few of those tears dripped down. Oscar heard a soft sob from the room next door and was amazed at how much he had hurt his family. This just made him shake more. A few more tears silently dripping from his nose to his wrist and down his sleeves.

Looking at his arms, Oscar was thankful that Rose had either not noticed or assumed that the bruises and marks covering his arms and body had been from getting beaten up on mission. Its partly correct, he had been beaten up, just not on missions. It had been when he was moved to his second to last foster placement that the events started to unfold. The career he was with in the end turned out to really be an undercover SKUL agent who stole a lot of identities from people and essentially killed or imprisoned them. The way that he had been treated by that adult had been horrendous and when he had finally had the courage to tell his MI 9 social worker he had been moved to a different placement immediately and the suspicions man investigated. He wasn't mistreated through the usually physical abuse which left a mark or anyway that he would have recognized as being inappropriate from a young age, but emotionally by trying their best at all times to make him as unstable as possible. It started when he was 9 and Oscar was told that he didn't deserve such brilliant parents. Parents that were about to do things that he wouldn't even be able to dream about, let alone do. This continued for a long while, gradually becoming more and more offensive. before they started going a little further and suggesting that Oscar should work out and maybe get a bit fitter. All the time they reminded him how he would never live up to what his parents did so no matter how hard or far he got he would never make it there. Over the years what they said wore into him and although his new placement was working hard to help undo some of the struggles from his past, they didn't know, nor were they going to find out, the true depth of the issue. Part of him really wanted to tell Rose the truth but then he just thought of the way in which Carrie had reacted and he didn't think that he would be able to take that from another of his team mates. Remembering how much he had hurt his friend made him just want to hurt himself.

No Oscar thought to himself I need to not do this, come on please, I know that I am stronger than this.

But Oscar, what how much you are putting your friends through at the moment. How much you are inconveniencing them. Little Oscar. No parents. No life. No real friends. They just feel sorry for you and don't know what to do. You worthless little thing. The voice inside his head whispered to him.

No you are lying, that's not true. They are my friends. They love me. Rose loves me….

If I'm lying why are you feeling so guilty. Deep, deep down you know that what I am saying is correct. If you listen to me ill, make you feel better why don't you li-…

No I don't want to anymore, I've had enough of being controlled by you now. I want to be free from you and I don't care what it takes. You will not be with me forever.

THIS IS THE ALTERNATIVE IT IS BASICALLY THE SAME JUST SUTIBLE FOR MORE PEOPLE.

This sight had been so common to him over the course of his life, and maybe it was the depth of the situation or just how terrible he felt, that he remembered back to some of the darkest days he had battled yet. It had been when he was moved to his second to last foster placement that the events started to unfold. The career he was with in the end turned out to really be an undercover SKUL agent who stole a lot of identities from people and essentially killed or imprisoned them. The way that he had been treated by that adult had been horrendous and when he had finally had the courage to tell his MI 9 social worker he had been moved to a different placement immediately and the suspicions man investigated. He wasn't mistreated through the usually physical abuse which left a mark or anyway that he would have recognized as being inappropriate from a young age, but emotionally by trying their best at all times to make him as unstable as possible. It started when he was 9 and Oscar was told that he didn't deserve such brilliant parents. Parents that were about to do things that he wouldn't even be able to dream about, let alone do. This continued for a long while, gradually becoming more and more offensive. before they started going a little further and suggesting that Oscar should work out and maybe get a bit fitter. All the time they reminded him how he would never live up to what his parents did so no matter how hard or far he got he would never make it there. Over the years what they said wore into him and although his new placement was working hard to help undo some of the struggles from his past, they didn't know, nor were they going to find out, the true depth of the issue. Part of him really wanted to tell Rose the truth but then he just thought of the way in which Carrie had reacted and he didn't think that he would be able to take that from another of his team mates.

I've hurt all of my friends with this. They need me to be strong so im going to fight this.

But Oscar, what about how much you are putting your friends through at the moment. How much you are inconveniencing them. Little Oscar. No parents. No life. No real friends. They just feel sorry for you and don't know what to do. You worthless little thing. The voice inside his head whispered to him.

No you are lying, that's not true. They are my friends. They love me. Rose loves me….

If I'm lying why are you feeling so guilty. Deep, deep down you know that what I am saying is correct. If you listen to me ill, make you feel better why don't you li…

No I don't want to anymore, I've had enough of being controlled by you now. I want to be free from you and I don't care what it takes. You will not be with me forever.