A/N: Bigger author's note at the end of the chapter, since I love to ramble, but I wanted to add in the beginning here that my song of choice while writing Frank/Karen has definitely been From Eden by Hozier. It's just begging for someone to make a fan video to it, so someone talented with that stuff go do that! I just can't tell whether it's being sung from Karen's or Frank's POV, but that's why I love that pairing.

Chapter Four

It had been several weeks since Karen first proposed Matt train her and they had settled into a comfortable routine. Some days they worked on endurance and others, strength. Her left arm was terribly weak and underused due to the healing it had to go through, but she clenched her jaw and worked through it.

The mornings were still the worst. The soreness that settled over night bid her to stay in bed, but when she lay with her thoughts they always turned to Frank and where he might be. She knew he had been helping Matt with something, but she couldn't work up the nerve to ask Matt. Anyway, she could wonder about Frank until it drover her mad but life had to go on, didn't it?

So she got up, rubbed salve into her shoulder and arm and set her mind toward the rest of her day. Ellison let her take risks, but not the ones she wanted. Though she submitted stories he raved about, her mind was always with the files and information she wanted to bring to light on Wilson Fisk and his men in prison. Matt wanted her to leave it to him, let him work with law and muscle on his side. But she knew she could do it, she had to.

First she would make sure she could protect herself, without relying on any men in the shadows.

Then, one night, Matt invited her into the ring with him.

She was not prepared for how frustrating her lack of progress was. The gentleness he exhibited while he blocked and pinned her only made her frustration grow. There came a night when Matt had her pinned and she saw a smirk on his lips. Her lack of strength, his ease and smirk, it was making her heart race with jealous anger.

"You get so worked up in the ring, I swear it sounds like your heart is gonna pound out of your chest," Matt whispered and she was suddenly very aware of her heavy breathing and her pounding heart. He appeared thoughtful and she felt his felt his grip lax just the slightest. Taking the chance, she broke his grip and pushed him off her so that she could pin him.

When he tapped out and Karen laid their rubbing her arm, she asked between breaths, "Why'd you let me do that?"

Matt was already up and offering her a hand, "Don't sell yourself short." And then when she was standing as well, he had to shrug and add, "Anyway, I was thinking maybe the loser had to buy drinks afterwards."

Karen crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at him, "That hardly sounds fair. If we made that a thing, I'd always end up paying."

"You beat me this time," Matt offered with a smile she used to think was sweet and kind, but now she knew the devil behind that smile. She knew how calculated his words and actions really were. He wasn't the naive lawyer she thought he was and she felt like she could never be certain around him again.

"This sounds like a hustle to me... besides, I don't drink anymore." Outside of my apartment. Karen thought to herself. Still, he had a troubled look on his face and so she concentrated on calming down her breathing. She took a few steps back from him, wondering if he was ever going to take this seriously.

New York was not the place it used to be, not for a very long time now. What was once so magical and mysterious was now scary and unknown. Karen knew she needed the strength to be able to be on her own in this city. And Matt couldn't stop suggesting hang out spots afterwards.

And what was so wrong with that? She found herself wondering as Matt once again smirked at her.

"You once told me you weren't a saint, you never got a chance to elaborate on that. Or much of anything. Let me get you... a coffee?" Matt's voice was so kind and she just couldn't stand that he was being so earnest. Why would he want to spend more time with her? If he knew the real her, he'd want to just be her lawyer again and that wasn't the plan.

"Coffee?" Karen asked, looking at the time. "I guess this time of night might call for a night cap at Josie's." What could she say? She wasn't a strict non-drinker or anything. She just wasn't so sure how good of an idea it was to have a drink with Matt when she was already a little light-headed and winded.

"I'll try not to tease you about how easy that was," Matt said and then offered her an arm.

As they walked down the street, it'd be easy to pretend that the last few months never happened, like she was guiding him into the bar after a long day of avoiding bills at the office... instead she was certain that he was the one guiding her after a day of secret work and secret training.

When Karen returned to their table with drinks, Matt had that damn smirk back on his face. "The coffee at Josie's smells a lot like vodka tonight."

Karen narrowed her eyes, she had wanted to be the one to start the conversation and avoid Matt's charm.

"Matt, I don't think you're taking me seriously," she said, not giving his teasing a response.

Aw, of course, now he has to have the puppy dog look.

"I'm confused about why you would feel that way. After I trusted you with... so much?" Matt said and his words made her cheeks grow hot with anger. Just because he shared something with her that everyone else already knew about certainly didn't mean he took her seriously!

Karen closed her eyes and drank her vodka. A little too fast. She told herself she was going to stop doing this. No wonder no one took her seriously. She tried to take a few calming breaths and suddenly a hand was on hers.

"You've been on edge for months, Karen." He said softly, "And I feel like I know why."

Karen cleared her throat and said, "Maybe we should talk about this somewhere else." She had wanted to scold him for not training her hard enough, not get into a talk about her recent murder. Self-defense... manslaughter. Oh God.

Matt gripped her hand gently and she tried to ignore the goosebumps that raised on her arms. He was right there, begging her to let him get close to her. Why couldn't she let him? "Matt," she whispered and closed her eyes. Don't force me to tell you I'm not sorry. Or about the other times I wasn't sorry.

No, he couldn't know that. "I-I just don't want you to think badly of me." She said, unable to keep her voice steady.

"Well, let me urge you to take a chance," his thumb was running along the backs of her fingers and it troubled and amazed her how such little movements could make her heart start racing again.

"Let me go pay for those drinks." she slipped away from him and used it as an excuse to down another drink at the bar. When she came back, Matt was already standing and waiting for her.

"You haven't been to my new place," Karen said as they exited and wondered which direction she should turn. Would he want to just walk her home or take her to a more comfortable environment for him to question her relentlessly? Karen sighed and wished they could go back to a time before all they had were questions. When it felt like she could always be as comfortable with him as when they were under rainbow colored lights, tipsy and giggling.

"No, you mentioned moving," he said idly and let her lead them towards her block.

She dared to look at him out of the corner of her eye, wondering if she could change his mind from more serious matters. Brushing the back of his fingers with hers, her face felt like it was on fire from her nervous attempt to hold his hand.

Her contact with him seemed to cause him to stop and pull her towards a hidden corner along the closed deli they were passing. Matt still held her hand as he faced her and the abrupt closeness was making her feel dizzy. Maybe that was the post work out drinks.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable, or feel like you have to tell me things you don't want to." Matt told her, his lips growing captivating as they formed each word so carefully. So thoughtfully. He was such a calculating devilish bastard. "I just want you to know I'm here for you to come to... more than just for training."

Karen took advantage of his blindness and let her eyes roam over his face. Maybe he knew or could tell the way he was making her feel. Maybe this was what he wanted all along. She let the wall hold her up as she pulled him towards her.

"I've tried coming to you. Hell, I've thrown myself at you on occasion," Karen whispered, tilting her face towards his. People passed them on the sidewalk but she felt so secluded and far away with him.

Then Matt leaned down and captured her lips with his in a kiss so sweet, so like the one he'd once given her on a night a little bit like this one. He tasted like beer and she was shivering, despite the heat of the night.

He seemed content to graze his knuckles against her cheek and give her the sweetest of kisses she might have ever had where as she wanted to pull his body against hers and nip his bottom lip into her mouth. With a groan, he ran his hands into her hair, resting a hand against her neck and letting another travel down to her back.

Karen responded to his touches with her own, easily sliding his sleeveless work out tee to the side so she could feel the skin on his chest. He smirked against her lips and she pulled away, kissing along his jawline and enjoying the way his quickened breathing tickled her neck and ear.

"Thrown yourself at me? I've been so clueless, huh?" His tone was bratty and she gripped his shirt, wanting him to just stop the damn games and give her the comfort she needed.

Before she could be bold, he kissed her again and she felt his hands rub down her back until they both gripped her ass and pulled her hips against him. Easily, she could feel his erection against her belly and she couldn't believe what was happening. It was all happening so fast, the way everything good or bad always did. She just couldn't decide what this was... or what she wanted it to be. Matt always made her feel fragile, even as he pulled her against him he kissed her like she might break.

Regrettably, she broke the kiss but she had to make him understand her and so she gripped his hair, forcing him to listen to her as she whispered, "You'll understand my intentions soon enough." The shiver she felt go through him was satisfying and now she smirked.

Then a monotone voice was breaking through the fog that seemed to settle around her, saying, "Foggy. Foggy. Foggy."

Matt pulled away and Karen looked at him through heavy lidded eyes as he set back on her feet with an apology. She sighed and rested her head against the wall, but still totally eavesdropped because she was shameless. Plus, she had to admit she missed Foggy and hadn't seen him since he got taken away by his new law office. It had been a curiosity for a while what he was up to. She was sure he would be let down at all the alcohol he'd been missing out on with her.

"Hey Fog- wait, just slow down. You found what?"

Wait, I should be jealous. Karen thought with a smile. I'm sure he's got a top shelf bar right in his office. His office that's probably bigger than my new apartment. That bastard.

"Okay. You're right," Matt was saying, walking further down the alley from her. She opened her eyes and let her curiosity get the best of her as she followed him. Matt looked over his shoulder at her as he was saying, "I'll be there." Then he hung up.

Karen tried to hide her disappointment, "Well, drinking on Foggy's tab could be fun too... a different kind of fun but still." She could tell by the slump in Matt's shoulders that she wasn't going to like what she was going to hear.

"You need to get home and rest, Karen," Matt told her and though his tone sounded final, he had to know she wouldn't just leave it at that and go home.

"Rest is overrated," She smiled, her tone light as she went to his side. However, her smile disappeared when she saw the expression on his face. Apparently they were past the carefree moment they had just had. Of course. Those moments always passed too quickly into these ones.

"Karen, I have to go. You should get indoors." He began walking away from her and she knew he had important work to do, but right now she just felt left out and childish and then angry at being so childish... and angry at him. And tipsy! But she couldn't think of what to say. She hated his ever changing moods and wished she could just know what was going on. God, things made more sense when he was an alcoholic. Sort of.

Feeling suddenly very cold and alone as Matt disappeared around a corner, Karen wrapped her arms around herself and tried to fight her negative thoughts. This was something that was going to occur from time to time if she was going to keep kissing vigilantes. It just seemed very unfair that he could beg her to get close and then he gets a phone call calling him into the night and she is told to just get indoors.

As she began walking home, the thought crossed her mind that he was trying to protect her. Of course, that didn't necessarily make her feel better. It just made the curiosity worse. Then it made the paranoia kick in... what if it had something to do with her? Could Foggy know about the soldier in the warehouse?

When she got home, the troubling thoughts were still coming and she was feeling pulled to dig, but how could she spy on Matt without him knowing? He knew when she needed to rest her arm during their work outs, there was no way he wouldn't be able to figure out she was stumbling after him.

Karen showered, knowing that always made her feel marginally better. Feeling cleaner and a little more clear headed only made it easier for her path to seem clearer to her. Perhaps it was Foggy she should dig up on. Whatever it was that he knew, Karen knew she could pester him until it ate him up inside...

That thought made her pause. Wasn't Foggy her friend? Karen looked at her herself in the mirror on her dresser and wondered at the woman she saw there. When had she stopped struggling against the darkness? With a frown, Karen opened her pajama drawer and was met with another troubling sight. A red pack of cigarettes lay amidst her clothes and she let out a shaky breath.

When she was dressed, Karen sat on the fire escape in the warm night and lit a cigarette. As the familiar smell surrounded her, she closed her eyes against the tears as a lump formed in her throat. After all these years, nothing brought back the memories of her brother quite like the rare cigarette. She used to flush Kevin's cigarettes down the toilet after he would stink up her car while hiding from mom and dad just to smoke the damn things. Oh, he would scream...

Karen had to laugh softly to herself as she watched the smoke she exhaled float into the night. She used to smoke when she was already sad and probably drunk, but now her tipsiness had worn off and she only felt focused. She was committing to the change in her and if Kevin was there he would understand the darkness she had descended into. Even if there was no one left who could.

Karen woke up with a groan and wondered what the hell her body was doing waking up before the damn alarm. A breeze brushed against her cheeks and Karen realized the window to the fire escape was still open. With a frown, she got up to slide it shut and stiffened her shoulders as she remembered very clearly closing it before going to bed.

Turning, she saw Frank standing in the darkness of her kitchen and her breath caught in her throat. There was a time he would have knocked, but now he appears in the darkest hours with a look on his face that told her of the kind of night he had.

Karen tried to swallow her nervousness, nothing good ever came when Frank had that look in his eyes, and she raised her chin to him. "Why'd you find me?" She asked. It was never a question of how. It was just a waste of time to question whether or not he could find her if he wanted to.

Frank closed the gap between them and when he placed his hands on her arms, his expression softened the tiniest bit. Though his presence was intimidating, she felt the desperation in his hands on her and it was making her confidence waver. As she tried to think clearly, she smelled the smoke and sweat on him and it seemed to confirm to her that he was really standing there. The realization made her knees shake.

"I need to be close to you tonight," he said without any hesitation. He said it so boldly that she could think of no reason to step away. Karen placed her hands on his chest, still covered in his uniform. She didn't question him tonight. She couldn't.

Never letting her gaze drop from his, Karen began undoing the clasps on his vest. Frank let a sigh escape and pulled her up to him, capturing her lips in a kiss so full of need and hunger it was a wonder she could make her fingers work to get his vest off the rest of the way.

Eagerly, she pulled at his shirt. Her touches and grasps matched his desperation with her own. Through heated kisses she was dimly aware of losing her pajamas as he pulled her up against his body. When his hands and lips were traveling her body like that, well... there was no room for feeling shy here.

Suddenly, the wall was at her back and Karen had to force away memories from earlier in the night. A different wall. A different man. I am a terrible person.

Those thoughts were fleeting as Frank urged her to move her legs apart and reached a hand down to rub his thumb against her clit.

He made her feel so powerless as she moved her hips against his hand. When he touched her like that, she felt herself needing it and knowing that she might do anything to always feel like this. A whimper escaped her when he slid a finger into her and she felt him smile against her neck.

"Frank," Karen whispered, grasping his shoulders. She wanted to tell him what he was doing to her, but all she could say was his name.

In response, he removed his hand and set her down. Blinking through the haze, Karen looked up at him and tried not to get angry at the cock teasing going on. Then Frank raised a hand and pointed to the bed and simply said, "Go."

His other hand was still on her belly as she bit her lip and wondered which way he wanted her. Then she thought about how she wanted it and she eagerly went to her bed. Slowly, she bent forward and crawled across her mattress so that she could wait for him on her hands and knees.

After a very long moment, Frank's hands were on her hips, guiding her ass further into the air and she dared to look over her shoulder at him. Through heavy lidded eyes, Frank looked down at Karen as she pushed against him and he suddenly gripped her waist harder and entered her. The way she gripped the bed sheets as the world grew smaller and smaller, the way she couldn't stop the moans or her toes from curling... it all just confirmed this was exactly what she wanted.

The noises he was emitting from her made Karen feel like an animal and she couldn't stop. Frank had a handful of her hair and was kissing her neck, he was rubbing her clit, he was making everything that was bad melt away and she wanted to thank him with kisses for giving her this blissful clarity.

Karen was amazed when her body began shuddering. He made it so easy to give in. She couldn't believe she was already coming and she let the mattress muffle her cries of pleasure. Frank pulled on her hair so that she lifted her head up and was crying out clearly. Karen heard him swear under his breath as his fingers dug into her sides and she knew he was close.

His rapid movements kept her rocking between pleasure and over-stimulation and just when she thought she couldn't bear anymore, Frank was letting out his own delightful little groans. Karen looked over her shoulder at him, holding back a grin as she rocked her hips against his and felt the way he began to shudder and cry out.

The world seemed to become clearer as his movements slowed and he simply held onto her for a moment.

"Mind if I shower here?" He asked after a moment, his voice sounding the same as ever and reminding her what she was really doing and with who.

"Yeah. Sure. Whatever." Karen said between breaths.

Karen laid with her face in her sheets for a moment and tried to slow down her breathing. She heard Frank go into her bathroom and start the shower and wondered what he would do when he came out. More than likely, he was going to get dressed and leave.

Which was fine. It would be morning soon and reality would be waiting bright and early for her.

With a groan, Karen convinced her very relaxed body to get up. Forcing herself not to look at the time, she grabbed a towel from her linen closet and went into the steamy bathroom.

The sight of him through the shower door was something she wanted to always remember. Water and soap were running down Frank's back and down his wonderfully shaped ass and thighs. The muscles under his skin were captivating to watch as he moved. He turned to look at her and she turned red as he caught her staring at him.

When he turned his back to her, she realized he really did just want to take off after his shower. Karen tried to shrug it off as she squeezed into the shower with him, but the way he avoided eye contact with her despite being six inches from each other was really starting to bug her.

"I guess this kind of thing is easier when I'm stupid drunk, huh?" Karen asked, suddenly resolved to make this shower as quick as possible. Of course that didn't go as planned when she angrily squirted her body wash into a loofah and ended up squeezing out half the bottle. Aw, shit. It's everywhere. Why can't I ever come off as serious when I'm angry?

Frank had a hand on the wall, apparently a little more winded from their excursion than he had originally let on, and he had an odd look on his face. Karen was feeling worse the more he didn't respond and she closed her eyes against the negative thoughts that were threatening to return. She knew the good moment had passed and any moment now was going to turn bad, but why did she have to speedup those bad ones?

A hand was smoothing her hair back and when she opened her eyes, Frank was standing there. She realized the look on his face was shame and it really didn't fit him.

"I've been trying to work up the nerve to apologize to you," he said and Karen found herself becoming mesmerized by the way the light shone in his eyes. Wait, what? Concentrate you damn, exhausted fool! "But I knew I would just keep bringing you further down. Hell, Karen, you killed a man because of me." His fingers trailed down to the scar on her shoulder and then further to the one on her arm. "These are because of me."

Karen looked down at her scars and his hand. It made her worry her lower lip between her teeth. Closing her eyes, she could see the blonde man she had killed. She could remember perfectly the way his eyes looked when he knew he was going to die. The way he gave up against the blood filling his lungs and the life left his eyes, the same way Westley's had. The same way...

"I'm a survivor," Karen said with a shrug to mask the shudder that ran through her.

"More than anyone really knows, I think." Frank said. It made her smile and though she would have loved to keep questioning him, she was exhausted and the water was growing cold.

"We don't have to talk. Just stay with me a while longer, Frank." Karen said softly. At last he nodded and she let out a small sigh. It was inevitable that one day he would figure her out, but all she needed was to be close to him tonight.

A/N: Sorry about the gap between updates, I was really priding myself on staying on target for those three chapters and then totally bailed on this one. Just kidding, it's just that life had to come and remind me that I can't just do whatever I want to do. Dammit. Anyway, all I'm saying right here is that I don't have a beta, except my husband who's just like "Fuck yeah, sex stuff." But he does say nice things about it which is good because those are the only kinds of things I pay attention to... which brings me to thanking you all for your lovely reviews and everyone who favorited or followed this. I mean, wow, thank you! It's been a while since I have been in the world of fanfiction and it's been a long long time since I've written out sex scenes. So I am just amazed that people like this shit lol but seriously thank you thank you thank you!