Enter The Mediator
"Just what did she put in the Inquisitor's food?" commander Cullen asked his fellow adviser, Leliana. "My guess would be some kind of laxative" the spymaster replied. "Isn't that dangerous?" Lady Montilyet asked with a worried look on her face. "In large enough doses it can be lethal, but I think the Inquisitor will be fine. She did not eat much last night before running off to her quarters" Leliana reassured her friend. For some unfathomable reason, Josephine seemed fond of their grouchy leader.
"Still, she has essentially poisoned our leader. We cannot let that go unpunished" Cassandra pointed out. She did not particularly like the Inquisitor, but Sera's prank last night had crossed a line as far as she was concerned. Before anyone could comment on this latest observation, the door burst open and slammed into the wall as Megan stomped into the room, her face drawn and her teeth bared. She had obviously spent the whole night up. Or sitting down, to be more accurate.
"Oh, it will be punished alright!" the haggard woman shouted as she approached the group. "None of you are to say anything on the matter. If anyone mentions last night's 'incident' you will feign ignorance and change the subject. Is that clear?" None of the assembled party dared do anything beyond nod their heads in agreement. Megan Trevelyan was in foul humor at the best of times, but the only one to have seen her truly angry so far was Cassandra and as brave as the Seeker was, even she had been shaken by the experience. When the Inquisitor got in a true rage, the last thing one wanted to do was draw her attention to oneself.
Megan stalked back out of the room, slamming the door shut with such force that some dust fell from the ceiling. "Shouldn't we do something? At this point I worry she might kill her" Josephine said nervously. The others exchanged an uncomfortable look. On the one hand, what Sera did could be construed as an attempt on the Inquisitor's life and it would not do to let her get away with something like that. On the other hand, the vivacious Elf had probably not intended any real harm. "I'm staying out of this. I'm not getting in the middle of a catfight" the commander stated, earning a filthy look from the ladies.
"This is serious, commander. This ridiculous situation is making us all look foolish. We must put a stop to it" Lady Montilyet said firmly with steel in her eyes. Cassandra and Cullen were taken aback by the sudden fierceness in the Antivan's attitude. They were used to seeing a sweet, prim and proper lady. The determined young woman now standing in front of them seemed an entirely different person. Leliana smiled at her friend. She knew that look well. No one could dissuade Josie when her mind was made up. "Better you than me" the commander answered with a shrug and left the room, shaking his head as he went. They were going to need a new ambassador soon. Cassandra looked at Josephine with new found respect as she nodded her head and left in turn.
Leliana approached her friend and put a hand on her shoulder. "Do you need my help?" she asked gently. Josephine placed her hand over her friend's and squeezed it briefly. "I thank you, but no. I am sure I will be able to handle it" she replied, fire now joining the steel in her eyes. They were interrupted by an ungodly shriek coming up from the courtyard. "Sounds like you'd better get to work then" Leliana said as she ran out to see what the commotion was about.
As it turned out, the commotion was Sera running for her life as the Inquisitor chased after, her Fade hand glowing brightly. "Get back here you! I'm going to open a tear, toss you through it and close it back up! Let's see how you like shitting your pants!" Megan hollered after the fleeing Elf, her face livid with rage. Poor Sera had been caught completely off guard by the fury in the Inquisitor's face as she entered the tavern. Now she understood why people nicknamed her the 'Ragequisitor'. She had not thought anyone could get that angry!
"I said I was sorry! I won't do it again! Please!" The Elf pleaded, tears streaming from her eyes. She had no doubt the Inquisitor would carry out her threat if she caught her. "Help!" she cried out as she passed Varric in the courtyard, but the Dwarf help up his hands helplessly as he watched the pair pass him by. "Sorry, Giggles! She's got the murder eyes! I can't help you!" he shouted after her, feeling truly sorry for the Elf. He liked the girl well enough, but getting between the Ragequisitor and her target was pure suicide.
Sera made a dash for the main hall. Hopefully, she would be able to hide somewhere in the castle until the Inquisitor calmed down. If she calmed down that is. "Go that way!" someone shouted as they pointed to a corridor to the left. She thought it was the spymaster, but she was so busy dashing away that she couldn't be sure. The Inquisitor was gaining on her and still yelling horrible threats about demons and other nasty things she would call down on her if she caught her.
She took a left turn and sprinted down the corridor and, just as the Inquisitor was about to snatch her, got into an open room where she spotted Lady Montilyet. "Sanctuary!" She shouted as she bolted behind the startled Antivan and grabbed her, holding her in front of her much like she would a shield. Unfortunately, the Inquisitor was so close behind her that she collided with the poor diplomat and sent the three of them toppling to the floor.
Sera let out a loud 'oof' as the combined weight of the Antivan and the Free Marcher landed on her. Josephine likewise uttered an exclamation of surprise and pain as she fell with the Inquisitor on top of her and the Elf beneath her. Megan was the first to recover. "Lady Montilyet" she said with surprising civility, "pray excuse me, but I was chasing after this ruffian you are currently shielding" she finished, her eyes still shooting black glares at Sera.
"Inquisitor" the ambassador began, "you will do no harm to this young woman" she said, still hopelessly trapped between the two. Sera had no chance of escaping from her current predicament as her arms were pinned by the weight and the Inquisitor seemed entirely unaware of their position. Josephine, for her part, was all too aware that she was caught between a pair of panting, sweaty, very attractive young women. She blushed at the thought and forced herself to return her attention to defusing the crisis.
"This situation has gone on long enough. Your antics are harming our cause. How are people supposed to take us seriously when you waste your time on childish pranks?" she scolded, and to her relief she saw the Inquisitor's anger begin to evaporate. "Alright, that's a fair point" Trevelyan began, "but there is still the matter of one of my agents poisoning me last night" she concluded with a vicious glare in Sera's direction. The blond Elf squeaked and tried to hide further under the diplomat, but had very little success.
"Sera will clean out the stables for a month as penance for what she did, and that will be the end of it" Josephine with as much authority as she could muster while caught between a squirming Elf and a fuming human. "A month? Are you kidding me?" Sera began but faltered under the Inquisitor's evil eye. "That seems… fair" Megan said slowly, but was interrupted by Leliana sudden entrance.
"Oh my, did I come at a bad time?" the Orlesian said innocently as she observed the scene before her eyes. Poor Sera's face was turning red from supporting the two humans' weight, Josephine's was a lovely shade of rose from the embarrassing position and Megan' was still an unsightly shade of puce. The Inquisitor seemed to realize what position she was in and hastily stood up, helping Josephine to her feet as she did so. Sera let out a sigh of relief as she was freed and rubbed her arms, which had gone numb from the pressure.
"Now then", Josephine started as she adjusted her hair, her face still flushed. "Sera, you will report to the stable master and begin your chore. Inquisitor, there is a matter requiring your attention in the Hinterlands. I suggest you leave at once. Leliana, I would speak to you", the ambassador said in a tone that brooked no opposition.
Sera practically fled the room while the Inquisitor slowly made her way out, breathing deeply in an effort to calm down. She nodded to Leliana as she left. "Well, that should convince the commander that sometimes a woman's touch is best" Leliana teased as she approached her friend, still quite flushed from the ordeal. She glanced slyly at Josephine and smirked. She had an inkling she knew what was going through the Antivan's mind.
Josephine laughed softly. "It's silly". "What is?" Leliana inquired. "That was not all that unpleasant", the diplomat admitted, her cheeks coloring again. Leliana softly pinched her chin in a teasing manner. "Naughty girl".