Author's Note: Hi everyone! The when and how of Eric and Calleigh saying "I love you" has been bantered around a lot lately, especially in the awesome group I belong to over at Talk CSI. So I decided to take a shot at it and this is what happened. This chapter is a little different than my usual writing style but when it came to me at 2AM, I couldn't get it out of my head until I wrote it down. I apologize if it's horrible! LOL Btw, I was asked about the movie I used in chapter one and I'm sorry for not responding before this. It was Bad Boys II (one of my own personal favorites) and if you haven't seen it, it's awesome!
Anyways…as usual…enjoy!
~JP
An Introspective of a CSI Romance
By Jaclyn Parker
Chapter 4: Love Is A Subtle Shift
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It had only been five months since they had gotten together and she worried that it was too soon. She knew that he felt it for her; she could see it in his eyes and feel it in the way that he held her.
But he wouldn't say it until she gave him the okay.
Until she said it first.
He had waited for her for so long…she had made him wait for her for so long…that she could sense he was scared that if he said it before she was ready he would just push her away.
She didn't blame him. Truth was that she was scared shitless.
Who wouldn't be when the dream guy you never knew you wanted suddenly came true in the form of your partner?
Your best friend.
Your lover.
No, he never said the words out loud in the daytime. But in the darkness of night when their bodies would pulse against each other in that beautiful, timeless, and passionate rhythm, he would whisper the words in her ear.
Sometimes in Spanish….a soft and sultry "Te amo."
Sometimes in Russian…a firm and nibbling "Ya tebya lyublyu."
But never in English.
It was almost as if he knew that it was okay to for her to hear it like that; that as much as he needed to say it, she needed to hear it.
But she hadn't been ready for it in English.
Until now.
L-O-V-E
Love.
How was such a small four letter word supposed to be enough to convey everything she felt about him?
That though he drives her completely crazy when he puts his feet up on the coffee table during a basketball game, it's the fact that he wipes it down later with a Pledge wipe that makes it all okay.
That there are some days when she is in her lab and catches a glimpse of him talking to another woman that she feels the urge to slap a sign on his forehead that says "Taken".
That she somehow automatically knows to reach out and touch him if they pass someone on the street that reminds him just a little too much of the sister that was stolen from his life.
That even when she is so angry with him that they sleep in their own apartments, she knows he will still call her so that she can hear his voice tell her goodnight.
That she's afraid that she actually might need him when she has made it a valid point never to need anyone in her life…ever. Want, yes. Need, no.
That she breathes him…
…aches for him...
…belongs to him.
No…
they belong to each other.
And because of that she is afraid.
She looks up into his face, the light from the TV screen flickering across his handsome features. She watches him chuckle at the action on the screen even though it is the fourth time in the past month she has made him watch this romantic comedy with her. Her heart expands in the knowledge that even though he had his heart set on finally watching that crime drama that came out on pay-per-view, he had just shrugged and let her put her movie on instead.
When she reaches up and traces his firm jaw line, his eyes move from the TV to look down into her face. His brow furrows as he see that she is looking at him with her beautiful green eyes, wide and glistening with some emotion he hasn't seen before.
He shifts, hitting pause on the movie that is now almost completely forgotten, and she can see he is worried that something is bothering her.
Her gaze flows over his face again and she knows it's time.
"I love you."
Her voice is soft and steady and clear, but for a moment nothing follows her statement but absolute silence. In fact, it is so quiet that she thinks they both might have actually stopped breathing.
But then a slow lazy smile spreads across his face and he leans down to gently press a kiss to her lips.
"I love you too, Calleigh."
It is a momentous occasion but oddly enough there are no flashes of lightening; no choir of angels descending from heaven; no fireworks going off overhead. There is no big display of tears or wild yells of triumph.
It is just a moment between two people, a subtle shift and confirmation of something that had been coming for a very long time.
They come together to kiss again, a little longer this time, with murmurs and promises of a more physical celebration later on. But for now they just resettle to finish watching the movie, his arms wrapped around her tightly with her head cushioned on his strong shoulder.
As he unpauses the screen, she finds herself sighing on the inside.
Looking back, even to just a few minutes ago, she wonders why she had been so afraid. Now, after all is said and done, it is shockingly and abundantly clear to her.
That, that one simple, small, four letter word had always been there, waiting patiently to be set free.
And now that it had...she couldn't wait to say it again.