Chapter Four: Resolving Pesky Legal Problems

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Harry Potter had always thought it was a little odd that he hadn't had a last name. His father was Gilderoy Lockhart so it stood to reason that he should have been Harry Lockhart and yet his father had never introduced him like that. It was always 'I'm Gilderoy Lockhart and this is my son, Harry.' He had known that he was adopted for years, of course, but the secret that he was the Harry Potter was only one that he had learned recently.

Most days, Harry looked a lot like a miniature version of his father but every night before he went to bed Gilderoy removed the glamour so that he had messy dark hair, bright green eyes, and a scar in the shape of a thunderbolt that Gilderoy sometimes still winced at. According to Gilderoy, it was very important that he be comfortable with his real appearance as when he went to Hogwarts he would look like himself all the time. Harry wasn't quite sure why he'd be going to a British school since he hadn't set foot in the country since he left it only a few short hours after his parents died but apparently it was important.

In the meantime, there was very little time left until he would be receiving his Hogwarts letter and so Harry had, for the first time he could remember, been brought back to Britain. He was standing in the middle of a very…boring street. He had muggle clothes, of course, as he often had had to go to places where muggles were sure to be but Gilderoy had insisted for this trip they would need completely different outfits. They had both purchased incredibly boring clothing and they were wearing them now. Clearly, Gilderoy had been here before as their attire seemed to fit in perfectly.

Now, Harry had been a little uncertain when he had been told that legally Gilderoy wasn't supposed to have custody of him. Instead, he had been placed with his mother's muggle sister and her family and while he wasn't exactly thrilled at the thought of living without magic, the fact that technically he had been kidnapped had still bothered him a little. Well…at least it had bothered him until he actually saw the neighborhood in which he was supposed to have spent most of his life. Now he was starting to think that Gilderoy really had done him a favor. Not that Harry would ever have dreamed of mentioning his doubts to his father because it was absolutely impossible to argue with him.

The only reason that they were here now was because they were running out of time before the magical world was reintroduced to Harry. Since Gilderoy had absolutely no intention of not letting everyone know that he raised Harry, actions must be taken to prevent legal trouble. Namely, convincing the closest thing Harry had to a legal guardian to sign custody of Harry over to his father…approximately a month after he had come to live with them. Sure, Dumbledore wouldn't be happy that he wasn't consulted or at least informed of this change but legally it would be fine and Gilderoy would much rather have Dumbledore displeased with him than not get to brag about raising Harry.

His father rang the doorbell and a thin blonde woman with a bony face and a rather long neck opened it and peered at them suspiciously. "Yes?"

"I'm Gilderoy Lockhart. We spoke on the phone," Gilderoy introduced himself.

"Yes, come in quickly before anyone sees you," the woman ordered. What was her name again? Something flowery with a P. Pansy? No, that wasn't it. Petunia. "You look normal enough but I still don't want to take any chances. Now, what is this all about?"

Harry looked around as he followed her to the kitchen table. Everything here was so spotlessly clean it was hard to believe that she wasn't magical. Aside from that, though, Harry honestly thought that this was the dullest house he had ever been in. Imagine trying to live here!

"Am I correct in assuming that you are not fond of magic, Mrs. Dursley?" Gilderoy began.

Petunia's lips pursued, giving her a strange resemblance to a horse. "That would be correct," she bit out.

"Then I am truly sorry to inform you that for nearly ten years now the magical world has been under the impression that you were the guardian of your wizard nephew, Harry Potter," Gilderoy said, sounding truly sorry though Harry knew that he wasn't.

Petunia's eyes widened and her face paled. "W-what? But I don't know anything about…that boy. That's Harry, isn't he?"

Harry nodded politely. "It's nice to meet you."

Petunia ignored him. "I don't want him here."

"I can understand and respect that," Gilderoy agreed easily. "In fact, I've been taking care of him for the last few years. He's starting school soon, however, and so there's a tiny legal matter that we'll have to clear up before Harry and I go on our way and you'll never have to see us again…"

If Harry hadn't been so desperate to get out of that strange, boring little house and that strange, boring little neighborhood then he might have almost been insulted by how quickly Petunia had signed all those forms. Blood relative or not, the woman was no aunt of his.

It was really a good thing that they had hurried up and dealt with the legalities of his not living with that horrible woman and her undoubtedly horrible family because when they got back to Gilderoy's British home they found a letter waiting for him addressed to that very house. Fortunately, it seemed like the letters were self-addressing or they may have encountered interference from Headmaster Dumbledore before Gilderoy had made it public that he had been adopted. Harry had never actually met this Dumbledore but Gilderoy swore up and down that if there were any chance at all that Dumbledore could get away with sending Harry back to the Dursleys then he would take it and if it came down to it, Harry would simply have to attend a school other than Hogwarts to get out of having anything to do with those people.

"Read it out loud, Harry," Gilderoy urged. "This is the moment I've been waiting for for years!"

"Okay," Harry agreed. He cleared his throat. "Dear Mr. Potter, we are pleased to inform you that you have a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 July. Yours sincerely, Minerva McGonagall Deputy Headmistress."

"Right," Gilderoy nodded. "First thing's first. Write to tell them that you'll be there and then you and I need to hurry down to the Daily Prophet. There's a lovely reporter there who is a big fan of mine and will make sure to make the story as sensational as it deserves to be. Once the story makes the front page, we can go shopping for your school supplies."

Gilderoy had just waltzed into the Daily Prophet like he owned the place. The staff, far from being offended, either ignored him or smiled and waved. The pair made their way to a private office that had the words 'Rita Skeeter' on the door. A blonde woman conspicuous rhinestone glasses and green leather robes was sitting behind the desk and furiously writing something when they came in.

Upon sensing their presence, she looked up immediately and grinned at them, revealing three golden teeth. On the one hand, Harry knew that having golden teeth was a clear sign of wealth. On the other…well, he had always found it a bit odd to put gold in your mouth even if the other options like porcelain and silver were equally odd. It was just best not to think too much about it, really. "Ah, Gilderoy! I hope you have a good story for me today."

Gilderoy smiled back at her. "Don't I always?"

Rita glanced over Harry's way. "And who is this?"

Gilderoy placed a hand on Harry's shoulder. "This is my adopted son."

"Son?" Rita repeated, blinking. "I didn't know you had a son. How recent was the adoption? Why did you do it? Why is this the first we're hearing of this?"

Gilderoy took a folded piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to Rita. "I think this will give you a nice starting point."

Rita quickly unfolded the paper and scanned it for a moment before abruptly dropping it. "This is...you have…"

"I know," Gilderoy said proudly. "And now at long last it's time for everyone else to know as well."

"You've been the legal guardian of one Harry Potter since shortly after his parents' death and his subsequent disappearance," Rita marveled. "Oh, you were right to come to me with this. Who else could give the story the justice it deserves?"

So she was a sensationalist reporter, huh? Those were dangerous but this one seemed to be on their side. As long as that didn't change, this could be a good thing.

"Why haven't you come forward before now? Why were you the one given young Harry's custody? And who are these Dursleys that gave you the custody in the first place?" Rita fired off.

Gilderoy laughed lightly. "One question at a time, please. Petunia Dursley is the muggle sister of one Lily Evans-Potter which makes her and her son Harry's closest living relatives. Dumbledore, concerned for the boy's safety with all of You-Know-Who's followers about, gave Harry to Petunia."

Rita gasped. "He gave our savior to muggles?"

"I'm sure he was doing what he thought was best," Gilderoy remarked. "And you'll make sure to make that my official position. Now, the Dursleys dutifully watched Harry for an entire month but they were well-aware that they were just not qualified to raise the Boy-Who-Lived. Petunia knew enough about the magical world through her sister to try to discretely find a magical home for him and, through pure chance, I heard about this almost right away and I took it upon myself to provide a safe and magical upbringing for Harry. Since Dumbledore was likely right about Harry having enemies, it seemed safest to keep location a secret until he was old enough to attend Hogwarts where Dumbledore himself can watch over him and when he returns on holidays he should be able to defend himself at least a little should anything happen."

"Oh, how very heroic of you," Rita said approvingly. Harry noticed that she was no longer writing by hand but her quill was flying across a piece of paper nonetheless. "So…how should Dumbledore come off? At first I was thinking negligent monster for leaving poor Harry with those dreadful muggles but you said that you want to be on record saying that he was doing what he thought was best."

"By all means portray him as a negligent monster if you think that that's the angle your readers will respond best to," Gilderoy said graciously. "In fact, if you do that then it would paint my defense of the man as commendable loyalty and an insistence on giving him the benefit of the doubt even if he doesn't deserve it. I just don't want to anger Dumbledore since Harry will be going to his school in a few months and while he may not let any problems he has with me affect his treatment of my son, I would prefer not to take any chances."

And, of course, the fact that Dumbledore had no idea that Gilderoy had adopted him but that was something that they weren't going to go around telling people. Albus Dumbledore was going to be the headmaster of his school as well as the Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot and Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards. He also had an Order of Merlin, First Class, for Grand Sorcery and discovered the twelve uses for dragons blood. He defeated the last Dark Wizard prior to You-Know-Who and worked with famed alchemist Nicolas Flamel. Harry had never met the man but he certainly found him a little intimidating and really hoped that his father knew what he was doing by acting against the man's wishes.

"And how does young Harry feel about all of this?" Rita asked suddenly, turning to him. "It's one thing to hear from your father about how you're better off with him than with those muggles but what if Dumbledore disagrees? Your words would certainly carry a great deal of weight and would help to preemptively silence any possible backlash."

Harry considered his words carefully. They had practiced this before coming over but Gilderoy thought that memorizing responses would sound too rehearsed and wouldn't help him if Rita asked an unexpected question. "When my parents died, I was too young for anyone to ask me where I wanted to go. I was sent to live with my mother's family and then with my father without really understanding what was going on. It seems clear to me, however, that there were two things that could have happened to me. I could have stayed with my mother's family or been adopted by a witch or wizard."

"And are you happy with where you ended up?" Rita pressed.

"I don't remember living with the Dursleys but I've been back to see them since then," Harry replied. "There isn't anything wrong with them but I just don't think I could have been happy there. Everything was too neat and orderly with no imagination at all."

Rita wrinkled her nose. "Sounds dreadful."

"If my father hadn't adopted me then someone else probably would have. I don't know who that would have been or if I would have been more or less happy with them but…I'm happy now with my father and right now I don't want to live with anyone else," Harry concluded.

"That's good," Rita declared. "Now, what angle should I go with the Dursleys? If they're just horrible people then that means that Harry's related to horrible people and Dumbledore will come under heat for his choice to place Harry with them in the first place but if I go with them being perfectly fine but not equipped to handle a magical child then I'll get complaints from the pro-Muggle factions and all the Muggleborns…decisions, decisions…"

Harry was getting the strangest feeling that these were, in fact, positive outcomes for Rita and she wasn't really trying to avoid a backlash. Sensationalist, indeed.

Once the interview was over, Gilderoy had wanted to go straight home and save the school supply shopping in Diagon Alley until after the story broke. As it happened, in three day's time he was scheduled to do a book signing at Flourish & Blotts for Wanderings with Werewolves and the combination of the book signing, the first time Harry was out in public, and the revelation that Gilderoy himself was going to be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts would be an almost unbelievable amount of publicity and they could get people talking about it for longer if it happened all at once.

Harry, however, had insisted that they hit Ryman's and get some of his supplies there.

"Why are we here?" Gilderoy wondered aloud as they examined pens. "They aren't going to sell anything on your list here, Harry. I mean, you might be able to get robes and a cauldron at a Halloween store but they can't be very high quality."

"I'm not here for that," Harry explained. "I'm getting notebooks, loose leaf paper, and pens. Maybe some white-out as well. Oh, and folders."

"Your school supply list asks for quills and parchment," Gilderoy pointed out.

"True," Harry acknowledged. "But come on, Dad, you're a writer. You know it's far easier to use the muggle versions."

Gilderoy frowned. "And you're sure that won't get you into trouble?"

"If it does, it's sure to draw a lot of attention to me," Harry reasoned.

Gilderoy nodded. "Good point. I certainly won't penalize you for it in my class."

"That's something else I wanted to ask you about. Why in the world are you planning on teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts anyway?" Harry inquired. "No one's been able to hold that position for longer than a year since the 1950's."

"To be honest, Harry, I'm not sure I have it in me to be a teacher for longer than a year," Gilderoy told him. "And my contract is only for a year anyway. Surely if I'm not planning on continuing to teach the curse will see no reason to strike me down."

"If you say so…" Harry said dubiously. He would rather that his father didn't risk it but with the term so close to beginning, it was a little late to back out now and Harry also suspected that Gilderoy wanted to be on hand for Harry's first year anyway in case Dumbledore tried to convince him to go live with the muggles.

"So what did you think of Rita?" Gilderoy asked. "She's really something, isn't she?"

"It seemed like the whole point of the article was to make it as sensational as possible," Harry opined.

Gilderoy chuckled. "That is Rita in a nutshell. She's the most popular writer at the Daily Prophet because while her facts may not always be checked, they do sell papers."

"So aren't you worried that she'll say something bad about you?" Harry asked, concerned.

"We've worked together well in the past," Gilderoy explained. "She usually gets an exclusive from me and we're both very eager in making the story as exciting as possible and I have very good lawyers to fight any false news reported about me that I don't approve of…and should any not-so-false news slip in there one day they will do the same. Besides, I'm one of a very select group of people that know that she's an illegal beetle animagus and she knows this. It's best not to cross me or she'll end up in Azkaban."

Harry drew back, shocked. "She is? Really? How did you find out?"

"Never underestimate the use of Obliviate, Veritaserum, and more Obliviate," Gilderoy said cryptically. "Do keep that to yourself, Harry. Blackmail material isn't nearly so valuable if everybody knows about it."

Oh, there was really no doubt of that ever happening.

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