She knows she should pull away from him, but it feels so good wrapped up in his arms and she's honestly not sure what will happen when this moment breaks. His determination to not let her sidestep her feelings has her off balance, all previous intentions of not letting this happen having crumbled with each soothing touch of his lips as he promised to be patient. Leaning her head back slightly from his, she forces herself to look him and despite the lack of her glasses making it a bit hard to focus, she can still see the huge smile on his face. God she loves him.

"Are we okay?"

Her voice is still a bit shaky from her tears, but she hopes it doesn't sound as full of fear as it did before.

He reaches up to brush the wet path still left from her tears from her cheeks before he is pushing her glasses back in place, goosebumps rising under her skin at the feel of his fingers as they tuck a stray curl behind her ear.

"Aye, Swan. Nothing has to change…until you want it to."

Thankful for the clarity of her lenses, she can see the truth behind his eyes and she swears she can feel a piece of armor falling from around her heart. They (she) may have a way to go, but if anyone can break all the way through, it will be Killian.

She forces herself from his embrace, her somewhat awkward step back causing her hip to bump into her stool. Reaching down to catch it before it topples, she can't help but laugh as she feels some of the tension release in her belly. His soft chuckle from beside her helps, his sarcastic "Graceful, Swan" exactly what she needs to hear from him to know they'll be okay.

"Gimme a break, I've only had two cups of coffee. You know I need at least three before I'm fully functioning."

"Aye, let me get another pot brewing before I go."

She collects their plates and follows him into the kitchen, her gut churning again at his words.

'You're leaving?"

"I have to be at the hospital at noon. Double shift ahead for me, unfortunately."

Calm down, Emma. He promised.

"God, I don't know where you find the energy. I fully intend to collapse on the couch as soon as you leave and not move for the rest of the day."

"Duty calls, love."

Having served in the Navy for four years after college, Killian left active duty to work at the Veterans Hospital as a physical therapist. He found his calling taking care of the wounded soldiers, helping them find their lives again by using his strength to help them find theirs. He was a natural, the nurses and patients dubbing him "The Captain" as he always led with a firm hand, never letting anyone in his charge fail him, or themselves. It doesn't escape her knowledge that he's been there for her in the same way, and will likely be the one to steer them through this next phase in their relationship.

"I'll crash tomorrow, for sure. Didn't get much sleep last night myself."

He's leaning against the counter by the sink now, waggling his eyebrows ridiculously at her with his arms crossed against his chest. She barely resists the urge to cross over and kiss that ridiculous expression right off of his face.

Rolling her eyes at him instead, she moves to stand next to him to clear the food off their plates into the garbage disposal. He smells too good and he's way too close, so she hip checks him lightly to give herself some personal space.

"Okay, Jones, get out of here. I have a date with my couch and you need to get to work."

"So bossy, Swan…"

She smiles at the humor behind his words and can't help the blush when his hand brushes her waist lightly before he makes his exit from the kitchen. The jangle of his keys as he retrieves them from the hook on the wall is so familiar, his presence in her home so natural that she knows if she screws this up she will never truly feel whole again. That thought causes panic to rise in her chest.

"Killian!"

His head pops into the doorway, concern furrowing his brows, the desperation in her voice obviously having registered to him.

"Taco Tuesday?"

His expression turns to one of tenderness and understanding, but he doesn't cross back to her, just smiles his best Killian Jones smile.

"Of course."

With a quick wink he turns and she hears the door shut softly behind him, her body collapsing against the sink the second she knows she is alone. She presses her fingers against her eyes under her glasses, frustration at herself bringing her to the verge of tears once again. Everything she has never allowed herself to want is being offered to her, love and comfort, someone wanting to give her more than she ever thought she deserved waiting for her. Not just someone, Killian. She needs to find a way to get past her shit before he decides that she really isn't worth the wait.

The loud bang on her door almost causes her to poke herself in the eye as she flinches. Knowing Killian would just use his key, she braces herself for whoever it might be as she really isn't in the mood for company right now.

"Emma Swan, you have some explaining to do."

Fuck.

"Good morning to you, too, Ruby."

The look on her friend's face from the doorway tells her that she's going to need that third cup of coffee, or perhaps the entire pot.

Ruby doesn't respond, just strides into the apartment with a confidence that Emma can't help but admire, sometimes wishing she could be as brazen and forthcoming as her fiery friend.

"So, I saw Killian leaving just now."

Oh, shit.

Following Ruby into the living room, she plops down on the sofa with what she hopes is a breezy casualness, attempting to hide the tension coursing through her at this topic of conversation.

"Yeah, we just had breakfast."

"I imagine you must have worked up quite the appetite after last night…"

"Ruby!"

"You two finally hook up and I'm supposed to pretend that it didn't happen? Nope, I'm so fucking proud of you, Emma. It's about damn time."

God, she's about to let Ruby down, too. Tucking her knees against her chest, she picks at the fabric of her pants as she looks down at her feet.

"Nothing happened."

"What? But, he…?"

"He came over this morning. I, well, I had Mary Margaret take me home from the party last night before he could find me. I panicked."

Her hand is suddenly tugged from her pants and placed firmly in Ruby's grip between them on the couch. Her red painted fingernails bright against Emma's pale skin.

"Oh, Emma. I'm sorry…I just assumed."

"It's ok, if I wasn't such a coward you're assumption would have been right."

"Emma, look at me."

Turning her cheek to rest against her knees, she looks to Ruby, suddenly thankful that she has her here to work through this with instead of being alone in her own head.

"You are not a coward. You're the strongest person I know."

"I think you mean stubborn."

"Yeah…that, too." Ruby smiles at her and gives her hand a squeeze before letting go and leveraging herself from the couch. "I'm getting us some coffee and you are telling me everything."

An hour and two cups of coffee later, Emma is feeling buzzed and somewhat lighter, having left nothing (well, almost nothing) behind in her explanation of all that has transpired in the last 12 hours between her and Killian.

"I really am proud of you, Emma."

She can't help the surprise at that statement, looking at her friend as if she has three heads.

"For what?"

"For not running from him this morning. You love him, Emma, and he obviously loves you. Hell, I think he's been in love with you since the moment you met. And that's scary for you, I know, but you didn't run. That's a huge step."

"Ruby, that's taking it a bit too far, don't you think? We just kissed. Love is a bit far off."

Liar, liar, pants on fire.

"Emma, you don't need to kiss to be intimate. And you and Killian, you've been intimate for years. I know the word love scares the shit out of you, so pretend I didn't say it. You like him, a lot. Is that better?"

"I'm not a child, Ruby, I can deal with the word."

Ruby's sigh sounds eerily similar to the one Killian sent in her direction earlier this morning in her bedroom and she knows she may not be a child, but she is beginning to act like one.

"Sorry. I'm just a little overwhelmed."

"I know, Emma. It's okay."

"It's not, but I appreciate you saying so. Thanks for being such a great friend."

Emma gathers their coffee mugs and carries them to the kitchen, hoping she can still get a few hours of couch time in after Ruby leaves so she can give her brain a much needed break.

"Thanks for not saying Victor's name. My evening definitely lasted longer than 7 minutes."

The mug in her hand breaks into pieces in the sink from the drop as she covers her mouth in surprise. She hadn't told Ruby that detail of the evening, so how in the hell did she know?

Turning, she sees Ruby leaning casually in the doorway of the kitchen with a knowing smirk on her face.

"What? How?"

"Well, when I pulled Killian's name from the bowl, I put two and two together. Following your lead, I pretended to get Victor and made the most of it, if you know what I mean."

Emma doesn't know what to say. Not expecting anyone to ever find out what she had done, she's finding herself at a complete and total loss.

"See Emma, told you I was proud of you."

Ruby pushes herself from the wall and gives Emma a quick hug before grabbing her keys from the counter.

"Gotta run, the bar won't open itself."

A crimson tinted wave the last Emma sees before Ruby's gone, leaving her in a state of shock in the middle of her kitchen. Deciding to leave the mess of the mug for later, she makes her way to her couch and face plants against the cushions.

Well, fuck me.