I just realized I never did a disclaimer, so...

Disclaimer: If I owned South Park I wouldn't be typing this.

"Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it." - W. Somerset Maugham

-

Kenny opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by the sound of the door slamming downstairs.

"Hey, Ike, I'm home! Mom called, she wants us to… Why the fuck is there blood on the floor?! Ike, are you okay?! Ike?!"

"I'm up here and I'm fine!"

"Why is there blood on the floor?"

"Um, Kenny cut his leg and he came over here to fix it up."

"Is he here?"

"Yeah. Stan's here, too."

There were footsteps on the stairs. Stan through Kenny's gloves at him, which he caught and pulled over what was left of his hands.

Kyle opened the door.

"Hey, guys."

"Kyle!" Kenny jumped up and hugged him.

"Okay, what do you want?"

Kenny looked confused. Then he got this perverted smile on his face.

"I want you!"

"Dude, not cool!" Kyle shoved him off. Kenny just laughed.

"Doesn't your leg hurt?"

"No, why?"

Ike covered his face with his hands and shook his head.

Stan walked over and put a hand on Kenny's shoulder.

"Uh, dude, you're having a blonde moment, aren't you?"

"Guys, what's going on?"

Kenny opened his mouth again, but this time was cut off by Stan.

"We have to go. See you guys later." He grabbed Kenny's hand and dragged him downstairs and out the door.

"Ike?"

He looked out from in-between his fingers.

"Yes?"

"What's going on?"

"Nothing, why?"

"They're just acting weird, that's all. You sure there's nothing going on?"

"Hey, if I knew something, I'd tell you, okay?"

Kyle gave him a skeptic look.

"Yeah, whatever."

-

"You were gonna tell him, weren't you?"

"Yeah, so? I can't tell my friends about my strange foreign diseases anymore?"

Stan stopped in his tracks.

"Well, yeah, of course you can, but I don't think telling Kyle right now would be the best idea."

"I guess you're right… Hey, can I stay over at your place tonight? I don't think my mom'll be to happy about my hands."

"Sorry, man, Wendy's coming over."

Kenny got that perverted smile again.

"Oh, really? Can I watch?"

"NO!"

He held up his hands in defense.

"Okay, okay, you don't have to yell. Geez…"

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