Byakuya & Mayuri: Foe

"I've been thinking that it would be way too easy to make Captain Kuchiki dislike Captain Kurotsuchi so I have a plan to switch it around," Gin said.

"Oh, make Puffhead hate Byakuya?" Yachiru asked.

"You want how much candy?" Kisuke asked, eyes widening.

"You heard me!" Yachiru replied. "I can't get here very often and I go through a lot."

"Fine by me!" Kisuke starting whistling a song to himself as he danced around the store making a list of how much candy he was going to have to ship back.

Yachiru waited until he was distracted.

"This is going to take a long time to write out," Gin sighed when she got back with the notes that she had grabbed from Kisuke's desk. "I'm going to get hand cramps. It reminds me of when I used to copy from Rangiku's papers at the academy."

"Didn't you graduate in a year?"

"That doesn't mean I liked homework. In fact, I graduated in a year to do the least amount of paperwork possible and have been following that philosophy ever since."

"We won't give him enough time to read it, just do a couple of pages. He's paranoid enough to make up the rest in his head," Yachiru argued.

"Hm, I think you're definitely right," Gin agreed.

When Captain Kurotsuchi arrived Captain Ichimaru wasn't there yet. Mayuri would have been put out by the fact but it did give him a couple of minutes for snooping. He pulled out a promising looking file: "Proposal for budget for study of…" wait…what was this? He started thumbing through it quickly but put it down as he heard Gin approaching.

"What was it you wanted to meet with me about, Captain Ichimaru?" Mayuri asked crabbily. "I am very busy."

"Of course, I'm sorry. My lieutenant must have thought it was a much more urgent matter than it was, it is something that can wait," Gin looked at the file on his desk with interest. "I wonder what this is?"

"You don't know?"

"Oh no, I try to keep any sort of paperwork off of my desk," Gin glanced at it, opening up the first page. "Oh, it's for Captain Kuchiki, I suppose there's been a delivering mix up. I am meeting him later; perhaps that it why Kira thought to put it on my desk."

"Lieutenant Kusajishi," Captain Kuchiki said with forced calm. "I am not your captain, please stop attempting to sit on my shoulders or ride on my back."

"Ohhhh, why won't you be my pony? You're so boring sometimes!" Yachiru pouted. "At least let me braid your hair. It's very pretty, and you already have hair clips I can use."

"No," Byakuya answered firmly.

"Captain Kuchiki," Mayuri said, walking up.

Byakuya turned.

"Tell me, do you think that the nocebo response is due to a high level spiritual pressure soul's influence on a soul with lower spiritual pressure or do you think that a placebo personality doesn't exist?" Mayuri asked.

"I'm not exactly sure what you are asking me," Byakuya responded slowly, not wishing to appear unintelligent.

"You ordered funding for such a study, I was curious as to why you would do so."

"You are mistaken. Excuse me," Byakuya said, walking past the man. Science had always been a sore point with him. Science and math. His best guess answer had always been, "don't divide by zero," which seemed like pretty good advice and usually people just shook their head while he made his exit.

"Don't worry, he's just in a bad mood," Yachiru said to Mayuri. "He's been like this ever since his trip to the world of the living."

"I wasn't aware that he had traveled."

"I can't tell if it's working," Yachiru whined.

"Trust me Mayuri is more territorial than any dog. One or two more things ought to do it."

"Right there!" Mayuri said grabbing a top piece of paper off of a stack that Byakuya was walking with.

"Captain Kurotsuchi," Byakuya began. He had always had a dislike of the man, but he had clearly now gone insane. Was the man actually trying to steal his monthly squad report?

"…degradation of the gigai not in its native form slowed through process of delta wave recognition…" Captain Kurotsuchi began to read out loud.

"Please hand me that back, I believe the report needs to be handed in full," Byakuya said coldly.

"There you go, Captain Kuchiki," Gin said, coming from behind Mayuri to grab the paper in question to grab the paper.

"Thank you," with that Byakuya was off.

"You…" Mayuri glared at Gin. "You know about this? What's going on?"

"Oh I really have no idea. I do know that he's meeting with Head Captain Yamamoto though."

Mayuri's eyes bulged slightly. If he had been a grandma he would have been clutching at his pearls, and his pearls would have been a metaphor for his "up for review yearly budget".

"Renji, perhaps you should have taken longer time to clean yourself up in the world in the living before rushing back," Captain Kuchiki said.

"Captain?" Renji questioned.

"There is something odd on your shoulder."

Renji jumped up and spun around, going in a circle like dog chasing its tail. Byakuya sighed. "Hold still," he removed the odd pink goo. "What is it?"

"Who knows? Probably something that Kisuke threw on me before I left," Renji answered.

"Get these done by the time I'm out of my captains' meeting," Byakuya ordered.

"Yes, Captain."

"There you are," Captain Kurotsuchi said as he approached Captain Kuchiki in the courtyard outside of the main hall in Squad 1. "What is that?" he asked, pointing.

Byakuya looked down and was upset to find that some of the pink goo had somehow gotten onto his haori. "Something from Kisuke Urahara. I'm sure it's just a practical joke of some sort, nothing to be worried about."

"K…Ki…Kisuke Urahara," Mayuri sputtered the name in utter hatred. "You're working with URAHARA! URAHARA? He's a traitor! How could you?"

"I never said I was working with him. You may be aware that my lieutenant is staying with him in the world of the living while he is stationed there though."

"I…see," Captain Kurotsuchi said, and he did see. He saw red. Captain Kuchiki went inside to wait for the rest of the captains while Mayuri tried to not choke on his rage.

"Not that you'd ever think about doing something about it," Gin pointed out, from where he'd been watching. "But I thought I'd point out that as head of the Kuchiki clan, Byakuya has been dosed with poisoned ever since he was an infant so he's fairly immune to all of them, not to mention that he has the protection of his entire clan and his squad, both legally and physically."

Mayuri just glared at him.

"Besides, a real genius like you has nothing worry about against an amateur like him, right?" Gin said with a smile.

"Of course not," Mayuri said with a wave of his hand. Of course not, but maybe he'd better take another look at those next generation gigai he'd put on hold. Maybe they weren't that unstable after all.

"Hehe, when Mayuri yells I kind of think of a pufferfish. He never puffs up though. Wouldn't that be great?" Yachiru said.

"It would make things more interesting during the boring captains' meetings," agreed Gin.

Category is Lieutenants and Seated Officers vs. Captains (still wonder how to get espadas in. I suppose I could do espadas versus espadas or something)

Lieutenant/Seated Officer is: Nemu Kurotsuchi

Captain: Soifon

"Give me that dice," Gin said.

"No, you're going to just try to make sure that it lands on 3."

"So?"

They both watch…and it's one. "Friendship?" Gin sighs. "Can it be kind of a sexy friendship that involves nakedness?"

"Why? Do you have friendships like that?" Yachiru asked innocently.

"Er, you know, maybe I shouldn't be talking about this with you."