Note: Do not ask me who Robert is because he is going to remain a mystery for a little while. And no, he is not Lori's boyfriend.
The Life and Times of Lori DuGrey
Dear Diary,
What can you do when you're dad brings home the biggest slut from school as his girlfriend?
"Becky?" I ask incredulously.
Rory turns to Tristan. "What the hell is going on?"
Tristan turns to Becky. "I thought you said you were 24?"
"Does she look 24 to you, dad?" I scream. I'm really trying hard not to freak out.
All Becky does is smirk. I just hope they haven't slept together. Dad doesn't say anything at all but retreats to his study. Instead my mother asks Becky to stay for dinner and the four of us eat Chinese takeout. A staple in mom and Grandma Lorelai's kitchen.
Dad, on the other hand, thinks it's a waste of money to get takeout when you can just make it yourself at home.
Mom asks all these insane questions of Becky.
I guess what you need to know is that Becky is 18. She's a senior and one of the most popular girls in school. Since my parents divorce she is always telling everyone how she is going to sleep with my father. I try to leave before she gets that far in the conversation. I can't believe that it is actually coming true. I think my dad is going through a mid-life crisis.
After everyone leaves I hear my parents shouting at each other in dad's study.
"What the fuck were you thinking, Tristan? The girl's practically still in diapers! You're almost twice her age! And she goes to school with our daughter!"
Tristan just loosens his tie. "I didn't know that, okay? Give me a break."
"Give you a break?" mom yells. "Give you a fucking break? I can't believe this. I'm leaving and Lori's coming with me!"
"You can't do that!" dad finally yells back. "I have custody!"
"Wait 'til the judge hears who you were screwing and then we'll see about that! This isn't a healthy environment for her!"
As mom storms out of his office she almost slams the door in my face. I am standing behind the closed door listening in on their conversation. Mom tells me to pack my things; we're leaving. I look helplessly at dad who looks defeated; about to cry.
"Daddy?" I whimper.
"Just…Go with your mother. I'll see you in the morning. Maybe we'll go to Luke's."
"Really?" My eyes brighten at the thought. Dad and Luke haven't seen each other in years. Grandma Lorelai told me they always like each other, which was weird she claimed because he hated everyone else.
Grandma Lorelai's house is always so much fun. She's very eccentric. This is the only time I'm allowed to drink coffee. Dad doesn't let me drink it at home. He says it's unhealthy for someone so young. I think that's partly the reason Luke liked dad so much. He knew that he would take care of mom and to make sure that she didn't drink herself to death (from too much caffeine; not alcohol).
"Grandma Lorelai!" I yell as I lean out the car window as we pull up to the house.
"Baby girl! I've missed you!" She yells back as she runs over to greet us.
Luke, refuses to let me call him Grandpa even though him and Grandma Lorelai have been married for years. He is standing on the porch with his nephew Jess. They are both waving at me.
"Luke! Uncle Jess!"
They wave at me from the porch.
"Let me help you with those bags," Lorelai tells her daughter.
"I can do them mom. The doctor told you not to stress out your back too much. That's why you always get those pains."
I swing open the front door and jump into Grandma Lorelai's arms. She laughs.
Mom says sternly, "Get off your grandmother, Lori."
"You're no fun!" Grandma Lorelai and I pout.
"It's like looking into a mirror," mom says to Grandma and I.
"If I'd known you were coming I would have bought lots of junk and rented lots of movies and we could have had our girls night."
"It's okay Grandma," I say. "I'm kind of tired anyways."
It's past midnight and I can still hear Grandma and mom talking in the kitchen.
"So you just left?"
"Well, you know Tristan. I think it might be his mid-life crisis. But with a girl Lori's age? That's practically pedophilia. I don't want my daughter growing up in that kind of environment, especially if Tristan is planning on seeing this girl again."
"Have you heard Tristan's side of this story?" Grandma asks.
"Do I really want to know?"
"You mean, do you have the right to know? The girl is 18 after all."
"It doesn't bother me that Tristan's dating mom," Rory confesses. "It's just, the girl is two years older than our daughter. They go to the same school. It's going to be awkward. I really wouldn't care so much if he was dating someone who was 24."
Lorelai gives her a hard look.
"Alright!" Rory admits. "It would bother me a little, but at least she wouldn't still be in high school. She's younger than Robert, for God sake!"
As she says Robert's name I walk into the kitchen yawning.
"Who's Robert?"