9/14/14: Here's where the heavier retcon comes in. Still updating, changing and moving things around, but feeling confident about how this one plays out. :) R&R - expect more updates & changes sooner rather than later!

Frustration

Restless.

Lina had been restless for a while now, which explained the manner in which she plucked the arms of the Grat and with them, beat it over its head. Restless, indeed. In the Training Center, Lina vented the stress this stupid project—which was taking way longer than expected— had inflicted on her. Not to mention, the frustration she felt every waking moment not remembering anything before she'd come here. The Grat lay unconscious on the ground now and Lina walked away, wiping a bead of sweat from her forehead.

She'd never felt more alone.

Her memory had not returned though Dr. Kadowaki in the Garden Infirmary had suggested waiting it out.

"Memories can recover," she had told Lina, and though Lina knew it was a long shot, she still had hope.

So far the only images she could recall where those she saw when she closed her eyes, and in her dreams they crept into her subconscious: a large stone temple forested by pine trees from every side, and thick, full vines, running along the north wall, and a pair of thin gold circular relics sitting on a mahogany table.

The images meant nothing to her. Besides frustration.

Lina's usually cheerful disposition had temporarily disappeared as her lack of sleep worsened.

Now, she was restless.

Sleep did not come easily and the only other form of time spent that was useful in mitigating stress was in the Training Center, beating the crap out of Grats and Bite Bugs and other creepy crawlers that came her way.

Lina headed for the exit, done with the day's work, and tried to ignore the hollow inanition that bit at her chest. She heard footsteps in front of her, moving in her direction and looked up to see none other than Zell just walking in. The whole encounter would've been a relatively peaceful moment; they could've just gone on with their lives if he hadn't said anything, but that was not the type of person Zell was.

"What brings you here?" he demanded like the Training Center was his territory.

"What's it look like?" Lina muttered before she could stop herself. She really didn't mean to be so blunt, but the restlessness spoke for her. Zell looked at her closely, glancing up and down her thin frame.

"Didn't really think you could fight. Want to go for a few rounds?" Zell asked, punching the air with his fists clenched.

"Nah," Lina responded. Despite the backhanded insult, he seemed like he was actually trying to get along with her for once or that she would be a convenient partner to spar with, and she appreciated the endeavor, but was much too tired to take him up on his offer. "I think I'm good," she said, and was about to turn away until it popped it into her mind, "Hey, you asked her out yet?"

His ears suddenly turned a brilliant red.

"No, not yet...I'll... get to it," he struggled with himself.

"Don't think too hard, just say it. A couple of words and then it's over and you'll be happy," Lina tried to keep an encouraging smile and waved with the back of her hand as she walked away.

Zell stood, still struggling with his subconscious. So many things were difficult about what she'd just said—the manner in which she asked felt like a obligation, and a challenge, and her wave goodbye was apathetic and almost infuriating.

Fine. He'd show her.

He didn't like being told what to do, but it must be done. He walked right out of the training Center from where he came, and down the halls to the library, getting quietly more frustrated with each step. Then he saw her familiar small figure in a blue skirt and flowery tank top sitting by the check-out counter. He felt his face go red, but Lina's words resonated in his mind and compelled his footsteps forward. "Sadie, hi."

"Oh, Zell!" she stood to her feet immediately, her face turning into a deep reddish color. Zell watched as she straightened herself out—and for some reason her eyes were watering as if she'd been crying.

"Listen uh...what are you doing Saturday?" her cheeks went into an even deeper red, her eyes wide with anticipation. Zell was afraid they'd never convert back to normal skin color.

"Uh...well...nothing! Nothing at all! Why?" She bit her lip as she watched Zell carefully. He rubbed a nervous hand to the back of his neck.

"I was wondering if...you'd like to go...get dinner with me." why was this so difficult? He was Zell Dincht, Mr. Confident, and for some reason he felt so stupid standing in front of her. He could hear Lina in his head, Just say it. It's not that hard. A couple of words and then it's over and you'll be happy. He felt the challenge again-it must be done.

"Are-aren't you SeeDs...on your mission?" she asked, unable to contain her excitement in the hurried tone of her voice.

"No," he said bluntly. In response Sadie's lips curled up into a small frown. "I mean...we're kind of taking a break to settle things...before we go after the sorceress."

"Oh!" Sadie smiled suddenly, something so new that it startled Zell at first, and then her face settled into that wide-eyed stare he was so familiar with. "Well, I'd love to! I mean...yes, definitely."

"Cool..." Zell said, "Um...Saturday at seven?"

"Yes, I mean, that sounds good," she said and Zell nodded. The two of them stood there for a very awkward moment.

"Okay... I'll come by, see ya," Zell said very quickly through his teeth then jetted out of there, feeling the redness still swimming around in his cheeks. He hurried back to his room and waited an hour or so for his "appointment" with Lina to work on her mentored project.

Lina came into his room unsuspecting of his suddenly cheerful disposition, the same research books held close to her chest. Zell was really excited to break her the good news.

"Hey, you cleaned up a bit?" Lina joked light-heartedly as she wobbled in and sat on the couch in a similar manner as the day before.

"Sure did, no longer looks like a hurricane plowed through here," Zell chuckled; the chime in a usually rough tone was what gave his good mood away. "But-besides that-I did it! I asked her out!"

"Hey! Congratulations," Lina tried to make her voice sound enthusiastic. It was a struggle through her growing exhaustion. "Sure the evening will be lovely," she sighed and flipped open a book, fighting heavy eyelids. Zell watched her, a strange feeling growing in his chest—he wanted Lina to pay attention to him and this major accomplishment, not those stupid books.

"So, chief, what would your next point of advice be?" Lina fought off a yawn while Zell muttered on about the details of how it had happened, absorbed in his own little fantasy world. When he finally finished, Lina found the energy to answer his question,adding a little sass.

"Typically the next step in dating requires some kind of sacrificial ceremony, an offering of some sort-some food, presents, a small anima-"

"Seriously?" Lina chuckled.

"No, just take her out to a nice restaurant and get to know her, you know ask her some questions and find out what she likes," Lina explained, looking down at her books while she spoke. Zell's eyes widened a bit at the mention. Lina looked suddenly concerned, meeting his gaze. "What's wrong? Did I say something?"

"No, just.. what would we talk about?" Lina pursed her lips in thought, then slid down from the couch to join him on the floor, cross-legged directly across from him. She pulled her thick hard-covered research books from her couch cushion and spread them out next to one another in the shape of a square on the carpet between them.

"Let's try this—pretend we're at dinner." She gestured to the construct she'd made on the floor. "Here's our table, we just sat down."

"What? No—this is weird." He seemed confused, unsure how to proceed, and gave her a hard look. She managed a small grin back at him.

"Just try it, it'll get you in the right mindset. We sat down and just ordered." He sighed.

"Fine… How're you?" he grumbled, shuffling in his seat, visibly uncomfortable with the exercise.

"I'm great, I'm excited, this is a nice restaurant and I'm excited we're here together," Lina tried to feign excitement and enthusiasm. Zell peered at her with a deeply skeptical, but rather amused look. She gestured to have him carry on the staged conversation.

"Oh, good...how was your... shift...at the library?" A little grin spreading across her cheeks.

"My shift at the library?"

"What?"

"First date, with the girl you've been pining over for weeks, and you're asking about her work shift?" She teased him.

"Wha, I just—Alright, fuck this, this is stupid," Zell said, as he started to get up.

"No, no, I take it back." The smile quickly faded, she immediately regretted having poked fun of the moment. "I'm sorry, that was rude." Zell sighed and sat back down, his fuse was short, but in the weight of his sigh, it was clear the stress was not new. "What's wrong?"

"It's just.. what pops into my brain, how it comes out, usually doesn't matter, but this is different. I can't fuck this up just being me." Lina furrowed her brow—this was important and she respected him for taking it seriously, but that statement didn't quite seem logical to her.

"Why would you try to act like something you're not?" his ears turned red.

"That's.. That's not the point," he was visibly flustered.

"What is? Shouldn't she like you for you?"

"Duh. The point ..—I mean, the point is—" his cheeks darkened with a deep red, his voice became harsh, and his reasonable words into weapons. "Why the fuck am I taking advice from you anyway? Do you even have experience?"

"I—" she hesitated, caught off guard. She didn't remember if she did—but that was besides the point. "You asked me to help you. Remember?"

"Ya, don't remember why," he spat.

"You think I want to spend my afternoons dealing with your mood swings?"

"Well good news, you don't have to! Cutting this session short."

"You're impossible," she muttered, the anger burning in her bones. She tried as hard as she could to contain it, but there was no sleep or rest to back up her efforts, and the restlessness tangled with her thoughts. "I don't have to sit here and waste my time with your disrespect. I know I'm just the white noise to your objectives. Once you're done getting your girl and that mentor report is signed, I'm out of here."

"Alright," he said suddenly, jumping to his feet, and heading towards the door. "Well, don't let me stop you."

"Are you serious?" she muttered under her breath as she struggled to pick up her books. He was quiet as he stood by the door, waiting for her. She snatched up the last book and walked out the door quickly. She turned on her heel as soon as she exited and caught his gaze. "So I called you out on your bullshit—what are you so scared of?" Then turned and left.

Scared? Maybe he was. Zell stood by the door still and shut it slowly, thinking to himself what exactly had just happened. To think someone could understand that level of him so easily. So yes, maybe he was scared, and maybe that's why he pushed her out of the conversation. He didn't fully understand why, but it terrified him. He sighed and slumped into his seat—what a nightmare.