And again Peter's pov. I'm noticing a pattern emerging...

Swinging through the city Peter contemplates yesterdays meeting.

What is he even still doing here? It's been weeks since the bank. Also I can't believe I gave him my number. What was I thinking?

Well he did say he didn't have a phone, right? Well, hurrah for paranoia, I guess.

Feeling slightly reassured he keeps swinging only to come across something odd, though considering who probably did it it's not that odd.

Sticking to the side of a building Peter stares over at the skyscraper across from him at what seems to be a mural of The Creation of Adam but with Deadpool in place of Adam. "What the...?"

Flipping himself up on to the building's roof he comes face to face with a Deadpool holding a smartphone.

"Hi there, baby-boy." Deadpool greets him waving the phone. "You know how to work one of these, right?"

Not really sure what he expected to be met with when landing on the roof, it was certainly not this. "Huh?"

"I promise not to start walking out in traffic. I just need it to contact my, angel. Please"

Seriously? Does the universe just hate me? Letting out a heavy breath Peter walks over to Deadpool. "Sure, give me the phone."

Bowing his head down Deadpool holds up the phone in his palms like a sacrifice.

Grabbing it Peter sits down next to him. "I thought you were scared of big brother?" Maybe I'll trigger his paranoia.

"He's totally worth it."

Well, it was worth a try. "Okay. So what do you need me to do?"

"Could you..." Rummaging around his pockets Deadpool pulls out a napkin. "...put in this number?"

Taking the napkin Peter looks at him with a raised brow.

Shrugging Deadpool smiles lopsidedly. "Haven't had a phone since my old 90s Nokia. Don't wanna mess this up."

For a moment Peter stares at the napkin considering 'accidentally' dropping it over the side of the building. Sighing he dismisses the idea. He would probably jump after it or shoot me. Maybe both.

"So this is your mystery persons number?" Peter asks quickly inputting the number.

"Yeah. I had coffee with him yesterday. He's the sweetest cutie ever."

"He sounds wonderful."

"I've never been much into religion but this boy makes me believe in angels. You should have seen that mouth. I've never been so jealous of a cup of coffee in my life." Moaning he leans back. "And his butt. I'm sorry, Spidey-kins, but I believe I've found your superior. I didn't think anyone could ever surpass your perky bootyness, but Peter's is just..." Bringing his fingers up to his mouth he makes a kissing sound, "Mwah! Just perfect. The pièce de résistance. Beautiful."

Handing the phone back, Deadpool meets his eyes. "But you already know that."

"What?" He can't know? He wouldn't ask me to put in the number if he did.

"He takes your pictures."

Letting go of the breath he didn't know he was holding Peter sights in relief. "Oh, you're talking about Peter Parker."

"Of course! Who else could I possibly mean?" Deadpool asks looking at him in confusion.

Laughing nervously Peter rubs the back of his neck. "Well, there's a lot of Peters out there."

"But no one like him." Deadpool says dreamily.

"Yeah..." Thinking that he should probably hedge his bets about Deadpool hanging around his civilian self Peter takes a deep breath.

"So I hope you know I'll web you to a helicopter blade leaving you swinging if you hurt him." I'm actually having a shovel talk with Deadpool about myself. What have my life come to?

Gasping Deadpool stares at Peter with an offended look. "I would never hurt my angel. He's a precious porcelain doll that I'll cherish forever."

"Oh, and I won't do anything bad with him. If he doesn't want to of course. Consent's sexy and all that."

Smiling Deadpool dreamily gazes off into the distance. "If he asked I would kneel and kiss his feet. Anytime. Don't know how anyone could ever say no to that face. Or any part of him, especially being on their knees in front of him. Or behind."

Feeling like his face is starting to radiate heat Peter can only give a weak hum in response.

Looking over at him Deadpool makes a questioning noise. "You haven't..?"

At first People frowns looking at him confused. "What?" Then suddenly understanding strikes.

Face flaming Peter quickly shakes his head."Oh, god no!"

Pouting Deadpool looks away. "Pity. I would have loved hearing details on that one."

Stunned Peter can only stare.

Swinging his feet Deadpool stares down at the roof. "I mean, I need information here. Is he straight, gay or bi? Or just curious? And if so, how do I make him be curious with me? Is he even interested that way? Or is he asexual. If he's an ace that's perfectly cool though. Cuddles would be more than awesome. I can take care of myself. Just seeing that mouth of his is enough. It's given me spank material for at least a decade. If I ever see him use a straw I will probably be set for life."

Coughing awkwardly Peter looks away. Note to self; never use straws around Deadpool.

Taking a deep breath Peter hesitatingly looks back at him. "If it helps I think he's bi."

"Really!" Excitedly Deadpool grabs him by the shoulders bringing their faces close. "What more? What does he like to eat? Watch on tv? Please say he likes Golden Girls and Mexican food. Star Wars?"

Blushing Peter clears his throat. "Personal space."

Quickly letting go of him Deadpool sits back looking at Peter expectantly.

Rubbing the back of his head Peter tries to evade Deadpool's eager eyes. "You should really just ask him these questions." Oh my god, what am I doing?!

"Well, I'm new to this dating thing. I don't know what questions to ask. When will he put out? He's classy. Probably after at least the sixth date. And what do I do when that happens? What does he like? I usually have a dossier for people I meet. How do I do this? "

"You have done fine talking to me." Peter tries encouragingly.

Waving his hand Wade simply says, "Like I said, dossier."

"What?!" Half shouting Peter looks over at Deadpool with mildly horrified eyes.

"Not in that way. You're my baby boy. I stole a Shield file. But I only manage to get a partial file."

Shoulder's slumping in relief Peter relaxes only to tense up once more at Wade's next words.

"By the way was that 'Oh, god no.' a negative for a future menage-à-trois between us three?"

"Deadpool!"

"What? Is that a no? Not even for my birthday? I would be fine with just watching. But we should probably ask Peter about it first."

"I'm leaving. See you later."

Standing he's just about to swing off when he hears Deadpool ask in a quiet far too piteous voice. "Do you think he actually likes me?"

Having never heard Deadpool sound so crestfallen and serious, Peter turns to look at him. "What?"

Not looking up Deadpool stares off to the side. "Do you think he actually likes me or is he just being nice? Because I think I really do like him. Like, like like him."

For the first time ever Peter hears actual vulnerability in Dadpool's voice. Standing there quietly he's not sure what to do.

Looking back at the web he shot Peter sights. I can't believe I'm about to do this. "I'm sure he likes you."

"Really?" Deadpool asks sounding truly hopeful.

Taking a deep breath Peter gives a quick "Yeah." as answer before swinging off. What have I gotten myself into?

A/N: I just realized payphones is a thing. Are they still around? I don't know. I was born too late and live in Sweden. I have absolutely no idea. I don't think I've ever even seen one in real life. Furthermore of course Deadpool can paint. At least when his motivation is to gain the attention of a certain human arachnid to then be able to communicate with cute photographers. It's all about motivation.