My Mortal
Chapter de Tres: The Sea of Ginny's Hair
A week before Candrew's attempted rape of Crookshanks, Ginny Weasley broke up with her boyfried, Jimmy Peakes.
She had sat alone at the Gyffindor talbe, crying. Going without a boyfriend for more than a minute pained her. And then Candrew came up and…
Btu we must backtrack. On Ginny's fourteen birthday, something happened that caused her to become dependent on having boyfriends. Little Horspuds began growing in her hair.
Before I explain what a Horspud is, I must tell you that Ginny is a descendant of Eric the Red. I know we are told that she's a pureblood, but if Eric the Red wasn't a wizard, then Ginny isn't really a pureblood. But anyhoo…
Eric the Red's son, Lief Ericson, supposedly killed him. But a man who looked like Eric pretended to be him, and that is who Lief murdered. So Eric went traveling the world, and wound up in Finland. There he made a pact with a witch, that would cause all of his female descendants to have Horspuds in their hair from the time they were fourteen to their death. As long as one of these women had no boyfriend, these Horspuds would go crazy in their hair, until they found one. It would irritate them immensely.
Now you are wondering why Eric did this. Lief only had a daughter, called Brimmol. He never had a son. So Brimmol had to find a mate immediately, and she got with a brawny fellow called Naro. This made Lief angry, for he already had a guy in mind to marry Brimmol off to, and Naro was the son of an enemy. But Brimmol and Naro eloped.
So all the female descendants itched to have a man in their lives from their fourteen birthdays to death. Even the lesbians, which was a real drag. But then again, homosexuality wasn't even thought of being acceptable until the 1960's. Did Eric have lesbian descendants in the post-60's era? Oh, yes, and they had a hard time dealing witht heir need for a man and their lust for women. But Ginny is not one of them, so they don't concern us.
Now you want to know a lttle about the Horspuds themselves. It's time to show you what they are like.
Three Horspuds sat on one of Ginny's follicles. To them, her hair was like the sea. The hair ran in waves…but they were able to sit on it, because their behinds were like boats.
Horspuds come in a variety of colors. But they don't appear to be the same color as the hair of the person they live on. So none of Ginny's Horspuds were red. They were blue, yellow, green, white with black spots, and tangerine with gray stripes, but never crimson.
But you could only see them through the microscope, and chances were you would not be putting Ginny's hair under a microscope. It might be fun to put it in your mouth, but then she'd have to freely give it.
In physical appearance, the Horspuds are not appealing. They have long noses…which go past their bellies. They all have four arms, and their feet are webbed. They are bipeds. Their eyes are protuberant, and they have no hair. Well, duh, they live in it.
So, the three Horspuds we were zeroring in on a minute aog, let's lissen to their conversation:
"I think she'll have a panic attack soon," said a periwinkle-colored Horspud.
"She's only crying now," said a velvet-colored one.
"Acid tears," claimed the third, who was chrome yellow.
A horn blared.
"Oh gosh, we've got to jump! There's a boy in the vicinity!" said Periwinkle.
The three began jumping on the sea of hair, which floated them along till they were within range of other Horspuds.
"Is she in the proper field? Is it a girlfriendless one?" Chrome Yellow asked the new Horspuds they came in contact with.
"Oh, yes! It's a boy named Candrew!"
"Yippee! Stop the flow of tears!" yelled a leader of the Horspuds, who was black with white spots.
Ginny stopped crying. She spotted Candrew. She had always thought he was cute, but now she really wanted him.
"Hey, Candy!" she called out.
Candrew hated being called Candy. "Shut up, you filthy puer-blood."
Ginny turned her back to him. "I was going to ask you to be my boyfriend, but since you don't want anyfing to do with 'filfthy purebloods,' I'll go ask someone else."
"You want me to be your boyfriend? I'd love to!" Candrew exclaimed. He was the only one unaffected by Enoby's charms. (Remember, Enoby was still alive at that time.)
Ginny turned around, wrapped her arms around Candrew's neck, and kissed him passionately on the lips.
A week later, she told him that he had to devise a way to get in the girl's dormitories, a way that could get past the slide the stairs made when boys tried to climb them. But as we know, Candrew failed in this task.