So heres the new chapter, it took me a long time to write when I started because I malt procrastinating. Anyway here it is, I hope you like it, I'm not sure how good it is especially since most of it was written really late at night, please tell me what you think, if you want me to continue of not, I love hearing from you guys, you're what keep me writing even if it's at the slow pace I do, I do it for all of you thanks for supporting me so far in this story, can't wait to hear what you think of this chapter. Also sorry again if the next chapters also written at an incredibly slow pace I'm trying to keep up with everything especially school so I've been finding it hard to have time to write, this chapter was mostly written in the holidays so yeah.

disclaimer I don't own anything

Castles POV
In Central Park
We took a cab from the college and arrive at the park about 20 minutes later.
On the way there, in the cab, we were very silent, except when we had to explain to the driver Alexis was only my daughter, and that me and Kate aren't even a couple, just friends.
This aside, when we got to the park I decided to start some small talk.

"So Kate, what's your weekend been like so far and what's it to bring?" I asks her as we walk towards the zoo.
"Oh it's been ok, I've mostly just been studying, I've got a 'start of the year, what level is everyone at' test on Monday for one of my classes, so I've got to get a good grade on that," she explains.
"If it's a 'see where you are' test, why does it matter if you study or not? I mean then it won't be what level you're at because you will have studied for it and learnt more," I query.
"Yes, but if I don't study, then they won't know that I'm capable of learning quickly," she points out.
"Good point, I think you've won that one over me Kate Beckett, but mark my words next time I'll win you over, even if it's only because of my ruggedly handsome looks," I smirk.
"Well you're totally modest aren't you," she smirks back.
"Oh yeah, totally," I wink.

"Anyway, you didn't answer all my questions," I point out.
"Yes I did."
"No, I asked you what your weekend had been like and what it had to bring, you only answered the first part of that, so Katherine Beckett, what's in store for the rest of your weekend?" I ask.
"Haha, well Richard Edgar Castle, I wasn't planing on doing much, I was thinking I would turn in early, get some rest and study some more tomorrow."
"Oh, well I don't know about you, but to me that sounds absolutely, terribly boring," I say, putting emphases on the last three words.
"Well Rick I can't change your opinion, but I have a feeling that's not why you asked, so what is it you were wanting to do?"
"I was just thinking on the way home we could go out for some dinner at a diner or something, I mean since I'm sure well all be hungry after walking around for so long, and also I don't really want to go back to my dorm room and be a third wheel to Lanie and Esposito, especially if they are still singing, since I'm sure Alexis will be asleep by the time we get back and I don't want them to wake her," I explain.
"Haha, ok then, I guess I'll take you up on that and just to be safe, when we do get back, do you want to come to my dorm room in case the singing duo are still occupying yours?" She suggests.
"Yeah, sure, ok."
We continue small talk about stuff like Alexis, and it's not long before we reach the zoo.

"So Lexi, who should we see first?" I ask bending down to her, knowing that she's been to the zoo enough to know some of the animals names, or at least her own names for them.
"RAWR!" Is all she replies with and I hear Beckett giggling in the background.
"The... Frogs?" I fake guess and hear more giggling from behind.
Alexis shakes her head.
"Ooh I know, the monkeys."
Alexis shakes her head again.
"I've definitely got it this time, the unicorns!" I yell.
Alexis shakes her head for the third time and looks really annoyed.
"Castle I don't think they have unicorns in captivity, you'd have to go to the wild to see them, plus they don't make a rawring sound, they sound like horses, the only thing I can think of that makes that exact sound is a lion, am I correct Alexis?" She says crouching down next to me.
"Uh-huh! Yay!" Alexis shouts, causing me and Beckett to both laugh.
"Your dads silly isn't he Alexis," Kate says.
"Uh-huh," Alexis says again, nodding, causing Kate to laugh again and mec to crack a slightly offended smile.

We walk off towards the lions, then we see the penguins and polar bears.

"So Kate Beckett, what do you want to see? Ooh I know, you're a giraffe girl?" I ask her.
She shakes her head.
"Um...bears?"
"Nope," she says, shaking her head again.
"Elephants?" I ask once more.
"Uh-uh, see Richards Edgar Castle, I'm none of these," she says.
"I was meaning to ask you that, how do you know my middle name? Unless... You subscribed to my website! You're a big fan of my work, aren't you?" I finally realize.
She says nothing, so I decide to forget it.

"So which animal are you?" I say giving in.
"Monkey, I like the monkeys," she finally says.
"Well that's where we'll go then," I say.

We walk in silence to the monkeys, except for the occasional sound from Alexis.
When we arrived I picked up Alexis and held her up to the glass to see the monkeys.

"They were my mums favourite animals," Kate says after a few moments.
"Were?" I ask.
"Yeah, uh, my mum died a couple of years back, we used to come here a lot, actually, we hadn't been for a while, but we came here the summer before it happened, I was about to enter sophomore year at high school, I was popular then, in freshmen year I'd built my reputation as a smart, goody goody, cheerleader and was very popular, anyway, half way through sophomore year she died," she explains.
I put my arm around her shoulder to let her know it's alright to cry on me and that I'm sorry, but she doesn't cry, she just rests her head on it.
"Anyway, the she loved the monkeys, when we'd visit we'd spend half an hour watching them play and climb, I think she loved them because they were always so happy and cheeky and adventurous," Kate says after a few seconds.

We stand in silence again, with Alexis on my left side, making oohing and ahing noises whenever the monkeys did anything, and Kate on my right shoulder.
We stay like this for about 15 minutes before I put Alexis back in her pram, which Beckett take as a sign to take her head away, so I put my arm down.

We walk around for another hour, looking at more animals, then we decide to walk around the park for a while.

After another hour we come a playground. I decide to take Alexis over to the baby swing and push her on that for a while.
Kate follows me and sits on the swing next to Alexis.
I clip her in and start swinging her slowly.

"You're an excellent father, I like this side of you," Kate says out of nowhere.
"Thanks, I like this side of me too, it's the side that seems to keep me grounded," I say with a smile.
"Do you ever plan on having more kids?" She asks.
"Yeah, one day, but I want to have them with someone I love and someone that will be there for their childhood, to help look after them and care for them, I also want to be married, but if I'm not at the time it's not a major priority, it's a when the time comes kind of thing," I explain.
"That's exactly how I feel," she says swinging a bit with here feet.

"I love it here," she says.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, I love the park, there are so many places to go, when I was a kid I'd come here with my parents, I'd go exploring while they walked behind, hand in hand, then they'd take me here and sit on the bench, arms around each other, talking, while I would swing on the swing, I loved it, some of my favourite childhood memories are from here," she explains.
"What type of memories, other than the ones you've mentioned of course."
"Uh, well, let's see, oh, in the summer my dad would take me here and we'd practise baseball," she smiles.
"That sounds cool, I wish I'd done that with my dad," I say.
"Your dad not a baseball fan?"
"I don't know, I don't know my dad," I explain.
"Oh, I'm sorry."
"Nah, it's fine, not knowing him has it's advantages, I mean he can be what ever I want him to be, hey he may even be a professional baseballer," I laugh.
"Yeah, true I guess."
"So what's your dad do?"
"He's a lawyer," she explains.
"Oh, cool, is that why you wanted to be a cop?" I ask.
"Um, yeah, partly," she hesitates.
"Oh, ok," I say, deciding not to ask why else because I can see she doesn't want to talk about it.

"So Rick, why'd you want to be a crime novelist?" She asks after a second.
"Well, I've always loved writing and reading and then I got on to reading crime and loved it so much, so I decided that's what I wanted to do," I explain.
"Oh, I thought maybe you were just a serial killer," she laughs, which I just realized was really cute.
"Ah, no, well there's two kinds of people who sit around thinking about how to kill people, psychopaths and mystery writers, I'm the kind that pays better," I smile.
She laughs again.

I took Alexis out of the swing and put her down on the platform of the playground.
She crawls up the stairs connected to the platform, I follow close behind, while Kate stays swinging slowly on the swing.
We get to the top of the stairs, to another platform attached to a slide.
"Hey Lexi, you wanna go the slide with daddy?" I ask her.
"Uh-huh, yay!" She says clapping her hands.
I sit down on the slide and place her on my lap.
I slid down the slip with her, as she giggled and clapped her hands.
Kate walks over as we reach the bottom.
"Hey, can you take her for a sec while I get up?" I ask her.
"Yeah, sure," she picks up Alexis off my lap and holds her as I stand up.

"Well that was a small slide, almost got stuck," I laugh.
"Haha, do you want me to go down with her this time?" Kate asks.
"Oh, no, you don't have to do that," I say.
"No, it's fine, I'd be happy too, she's just so cute," Kate persists.
"Ok, cool, Alexis, do you want to go on the slide with Kate?" I ask her.
"Uh-huh."

I stand back as Kate carries Alexis to the slide.
I sit back and watch them go down the slide together laughing.
Kate stands up at the bottom with Alexis and whooshes her in the air like she's flying over to me and I smirk.
"What's that look for?" She asks sitting on the swing next to me, with Alexis on her lap.
"You'll make a great mother someday," I continue smirking.
"Thanks."

Me, Alexis, and Kate play at the playground for about an hour and 20 minutes before deciding to go back to the dorms.

In the taxi
"So where do want to go for dinner?" I ask Kate.
"Um, there's this great take away place down the road," she suggests.
"Oh, ok, do you wanna just go to the dorms, instead of eating there then?" I ask.
"Sure."

Outside Kate's room
"So, I guess ladies not back yet," Kate says as she opens the door for me to push Alexis through it.
"Thanks, and yeah, it's good," I reply wheeling Alexis over to Kate's bed and sitting down.
Kate comes over and sits next to me and handing me my food box.

I get out a tray from under Alexis's pram and click it into the front, then take some of my chips and the potato cake I ordered for her, out of my box, and place them on the tray.
I turn back to face Kate, who's already started eating her burger.
I pick mine up and take a bite.
We sit in silence for a few minutes.

"It was a murder," Kate softly and quietly says breaking the silence
"Pardon?" I ask at the unexpected comment.
"She was murdered."
"Who was?" I ask, still confused.
"My mum," she says, as I see a tear appear in her eye.
I put my burger down and more a little closer to her indicating that I'm there if she needs me to cry on.
"They caught the guy a few days later," she says tearing up a bit more.
"It was a home robbery...They were robbing the place and she was in the way...Dad was still at work and I was at school, she wasn't supposed to be home either but had finished work early...I got home from school that day and found all these police around...I went inside and found dad sitting on the couch in the living room, head in his hands, crying his eyes out...I kept asking him what was happening, but he wouldn't respond, an officer finally told me...I didn't believe her, but realized it must be true...It was hard to cope...I plummeted in school that year...but it's why I decided to become an officer because if that was what it was like knowing that the guy was behind put bars, imagine what it's like when the killers never caught," she says, and then breaks down.
She moves really close and leans on my shoulder crying as I hug her tightly.
We stay like this for about 5 minutes.

We finally break apart and gaze into each other's eyes.
I move a piece of her hair behind her ear and wipe her tears away with my thumb, and then it happens so quickly.
I lean in and kiss her.
It's the most amazing, magical kiss I've ever had.
"Daddy, thirsty," I hear Alexis say, which is when Kate pulls back and we break apart.
We stare at each other for a second before I lean down and hand Alexis her sippy cup with water in it.

I look back at Kate, but she's not looking at me.
"Kate..." I start to say.
"Look Rick, I think you should maybe go now, it's probably been a long day for Alexis, and all of us, I have some more study to do anyway," she says not looking up.
"Ok, I guess you're right," I say disappointed.
"See you around," she says.
"Oh, ok," I say even more disappointed.
I grab my take away box and push Alexis out the door without saying goodbye.

I get about halfway to the dorm I pass Lanie and Javier.
"Hey man, what's up?" Espo says.
"Hey, not much," I say, trying not to look so sad.
"Ok bro, well I'll be back soon, Kevin's not back yet, see you then," he explains.
"Ok man, see you then," I say and continue walking back to our dorm room.

About 3 minutes later, I arrive at our room.
I swipe my card in the door and push Alexis through.
I get her ready for bed and set up a portable cot her her.

After I've laid her down I lie back on my bed, and think.
'Why'd I have to kiss her, she obviously didn't want me to, and she's obviously not interested.' I think, as I run my hands through my hair.
'Argh I'm so stupid, she probably doesn't want to be friends with me even now, I mean who would want to be friends with someone that kissed them and they don't have feelings for.'

At the same time
Beckett's POV
I sit on my bed for a second before I get up, I'm about to leave when I hear Lanie and Espo outside.
"Hey, I had I really fun night tonight, it was great," I hear Lanie say.
"Yeah I had a great time too," I hear Espo say.
Then I hear them go silent and then a bang against the door.
"Javi, stop, Kate's going to hear, or see, remember we don't want any of them to know about us, want to stay special, so we need to keep it secret," Lanie says.
"Just one more kiss?" Espo asks.
"Ok, just one more hombre," Lanie replies.
I'm shocked at what I hear, I mean Lanie and Javier are finally dating, I mean it took them long enough, they've totally wanted each other since the start of highschool. I wonder how long this has been going on?
Before I can think anymore I here Lanie swipe her key card and I rush to sit back on my bed.
"Hey Kate, you're here?" Lanie says, half surprised.
"Yeah I am, hi."
"Oh, I thought you may be out at library studying, you didn't hear anything did you?" Lanie casually slips in.
"When? Hear what?" I pretend, because I've got other things on my mind and I don't want to stay and talk to her about Javier now.
"No! don't worry," she brushes off.
"So what's up girl? How was your day?" she asks.
"Nothing much, my day was good we went to the park, anyway I was just about to go for a walk, see you when I get back," I say grabbing my coat.
"Ok, bye girl," Lanie says jumping up onto her bed and leaning back happily on it, obviously thinking about Javier.
"Bye," I say and leave.

I walk out of the dorms and around the campus, as I think.
'What the hell are you doing Kate, obviously you like him, you know you do, why did you kick him out?'
'But you have focus on getting through and into the police academy, you can't be thinking about a guy.'
I finally get to a park bench that's in front of a tree, I sit down and get lost in thought again.
I wipe the tears from my eyes that I was trying to ignore.

'Kate don't be stupid, you've got time for a relationship, plus you've always wanted what you're parents had, this one could end up like this.'
'Yes but what if it doesn't, what if it ends up how it did with your last relationship, with that jerk Trent, he didn't care about you at all.'

Trent was my ex boyfriend. We dated all senior year, until I found out from Lanie, who heard from someone else and so on, that he'd screwed another girl. Anyway we broke up and Javier bashed him up for hurting me.

'Ricks not like that I'm sure, you've spent the whole week with him, and there was today, plus he's a father.'

Just then I hear a noise and I look up to see I figure foam an standing in front of me.
"Can I sit there?" They ask that's when I realize it's Rick.
"Oh, yeah, I guess, where's Alexis?" I ask.
"She's asleep, Kevin and Javi are looking after her, I just told them I needed some air and they're gonna call if something goes wrong, so what're you doing out here?" He asks me, as thought nothing had happened earlier.
I shiver from the cold, I left so quickly from the dorm I forgot a jacket.
"Oh hey you're freezing, take my jacket," he says placing his jacket on my shoulders.
"Thanks, anyway I needed to think, you know about... Stuff," I say.
"I know what you mean," he says looking into my eyes.
I see how sad he looks and I quickly look about
'He clearly likes you Kate, don't do this to him.'
"Look Rick..." I start saying am cut off.
"Kate don't, you don't need to explain," he says.
"No, you don't understand..." I start saying again but he cuts me off again.
"No I do understand, I understand very well, I got your message back there loud and clear," he says in an amgryish tone.
I look up at him and see a tear in his eye, I look down again
"Rick please just listen, let me explain."
I look back up at him to show I'm sincere.
"I'm sorry... The reason I was how I was back there... I find it hard to let people in anymore, especially guys... The last boyfriend I had cheated on me, my boyfriend before that, Brett, left me after my mum died because apparently I was too much of a bore and was too sad... I have big trust issues with guys... I'm sorry for being how I was... I panicked after you kissed me, I don't want to hurt you, but I can't get hurt again, now do you see why I was how I was?" I explain and start crying.
"Kate I'm not a high school boy, I don't treat girls the way those two treated you, I'm better than them, I won't hurt you, all I want to know is if you like me," he says.
I say back, and he scoops me up in a hug and I cry on his shoulder for the second time today.

We sit on the park bench this way for about two minutes before we break apart and I look into his eyes.
"I do, I really do, right from the first day we met last week I have," I say after a minute.
I lean in this time.
After a few second Rick pulls back.
"What's wrong?" I ask, thinking I've done something wrong.
"Nothing, it's just let's go for it, we both like each other, so let's do it," he says smiling.
"Ok, I'm in, and thanks for listening and still accepting me after I told you I have trust issues and find it hard letting people in," I say.
"Always, anyway if you want we can take it slow if you want? Give you time to trust me," he smiles.
"That's so sweet, thanks," I say and am about to kiss him again when his phone rings.

"Hello?" He says answering it.
"Oh, hey espo, what's up?"
"Oh, sorry... sure... I'll be there as soon as I can...you guys are the best... sorry for leaving her there with you I just really needed some fresh air... See you soon... Bye," he says hanging up.

"Sorry, I have to run, Alexis woke up and won't settle, I mean the one time she does this is today, she's never like this, I'm so sorry Kate," he explains.
"No need to be sorry, she's a six month old she can't help it, I'll see you tomorrow," I say.
"Sure, do you want to come say goodbye to Alexis before my mother takes her home? Because then we could go out just us two, sound good?" He suggests.
"Sure, text me what time, kay?" I agree.
"Ok, bye," he says giving me a peck before leaving into the night.
"Bye," I call after him, before leaning back against the park bench and sighing then fangirling a little.