"Welcome welcome welcome,

A fine welcome to you!

Welcome welcome welcome

I say how do you do?

Welcome welcome welcome

I say hip hip hooray!

Welcome welcome welcome to

Ponyville today!"

Pinkie stopped her song to find Bill already opening the oven and taking out the cake.

"What?" he said, looking hurt as Pinkie and Twilight stared at the yellow alicorn. "You were gonna give it to me any way. Why wait for cake, ya know?" And with that, Bill unhinged his jaw, crammed the cake down his throat, and slapped his jaw back in place with his hoof.

Twilight glared at Bill, not liking how he didn't wait for Pinkie to give the cake to him on her own accord, but Pinkie only giggled. "Yeah, I agree. When it comes to cake, I can get a little impatient too!" she said with a smile.

"'Bill Cipher'", was it?" Twilight asked, eyebrow raised.

"Just 'Bill' is fine," said Bill, suddenly disappearing, only to reappear near one of the brightly-colored canons on Pinkie's wagon. He reached his hoof in and after a moment, pulled it out covered in streamers. He shrugged and shoved them in his mouth.

Pinkie laughed. "Oh, silly Just-Bill, the streamers aren't for eating!"

Bill put another hoof-full of streamers into his mouth. "I like the texture," he said. "And my name's Bill, not 'Just-Bill'. I wanna clear that up before it becomes problematic later-on."

Twilight was rather unimpressed by the alicorn. Eyebrow raised, she said; "Okay, Bill. Why are you in Ponyville?"

Bill tipped the Party Wagon over on it's side before answering. "Oh, I dunno. Do I need a reason to visit a nice town?"

"YES!" Twilight shouted.

Bill quickly thought up a lie. "Well, if you MUST know," huffed Bill, "I am a traveling magician. But I don't want to be a traveling magician anymore. So I decided that, since magic is my best area of expertise, I open a magic shop in Ponyville. Why Ponyville? I hear this town gets PLENTY of visitors, so I figure it's GREAT for the marketing!" Bill popped open the hatch on the side of the Party Wagon to reveal licorice wires, sparking with pink sugar. "I thought so," Bill muttered before closing the hatch again.

"Well, I'm sorry to say, Bill… But there aren't any shop houses for sale," said Twilight.

"Oh, no problem. I can make my own. That's why we have levitation powers - so we can levitate planks of wood into specific patterns to make houses!" Bill said as he righted the wagon.

"So I guess you're not a prince?" Twilight said.

"Nope! Hey, is your wagon supposed to be on fire?" Bill asked Pinkie. Pinkie yelped something like "not again" and ran off to find a bucket of water.

"Well, nice meeting you, Twilight," Bill said. he tipped his hat, and for a moment, Twilight was sure anything not bolted to the ground began to slide to the side. But Bill's hat went back over his head and the ground went back to normal.

As the alicorn walked away, phoenix perched on his wing, Twilight realized something. Bill had called her by name… But she had never said it to him!

"Really? Traveling magician opening a magic shop? Was that the best you could think of?" Phyre asked.

"No," answered Bill. "But I think it's fitting. Where I'm from, there's this old grunkle who tricks tourists in an admittedly impressive tourist-trap, where he sells terrible things for expensive prices. So I figure 'why not do that, but with something a lot more interesting. Like magic'! So then I decide to open a magic shop. Any ideas on what we should name it?" Bill asked.

Phyre shrugged. "How about 'This Is Run By An Idiot'?"

"Hmm," said Bill. "It's honest and to the point, but not very catchy. Any other names?"

Phyre sighed. "Why not 'Cipher's Magic-Shop'?" she asked.

"Perfect!" Bill exclaimed. He suddenly became aware that the noise in Ponyville was becoming louder. "Ooh!" said Bill. "I think we're near a market-place! Let's check it out!"

Bill rushed forward and around a bend to see vendors lined up in the streets, ponies selling many things from brightly-colored carts. "Wow, these colors are bright enough to give even ME a migraine!" laughed Bill as he walked through the street.

"Oh, wait!" said Bill, noticing an orange mare selling apples. He quickly read her mind. "Oh, so Pinkie and Twilight were two out of six. Here's Applejack, Element of Honesty, one of the WORST policies. And isn't 'Applejack' a cereal? Oh well. Time to say 'hi'!" And with that, Bill walked up to the stand.

"Howdy!" said Applejack cheerfully. "Mah name's Applejack. Can ah get you an apple, sir?"

"Yes," answered Bill.

"Bill!" yelled Phyre. "You don't have any Bits! You can't buy an apple!"

"Oh, stop screeching in my mind, Phyre. I know perfectly well what I'm doing," Bill replied.

"Uh, sir?" said Applejack rather nervously. "Ah'm not screechin' in yer mind."

"Oh, my apologies, but Phyre is being annoying," Bill said glaring at the Blue Phoenix and shaking his wing up and down for emphasis.

"You mean… Yer blue bird?" Applejack asked. All she could hear from the phoenix was squawking.

"'Blue bird'?" screeched Phyre. "How DARE you call me that! I am a Blue PHOENIX!"

"Uh oh, did ah make her angry?" asked Applejack, hearing the angry squawks from the "blue bird".

"Oh, you have NO idea - Hey! You do not use that language, you hear me?" Bill yelled at his phoenix, flapping his wing so fast that the only thing Applejack saw was a blue blur. When Bill's wing came to a stop, the poor phoenix was dizzy and wobbling on her yellow, feathery perch. Applejack, even though she didn't know what the phoenix had "said", she had a feeling it wasn't a compliment.

"Now look here, yellow guy," said Applejack, southern voice dangerously low. "Ah want you to take that bird o' your's to Fluttershy. She lives in a small cottage on top of the hill on the outskirts of Ponyville. An' if yah don't, Ah'll file a complaint about yer dirty-mouthed blue bird."

Bill only grinned. He had accomplished his goal, finally getting an excuse to go and see the other element. "Alllllll righty, Cereal," said Bill. "Oh, I mean Applejack. I'll go visit the 'Stare Master'. Ta!"

And with that, Bill left the orange mare in her stall, glaring after them. "Wait a minute," said Applejack. "Did that pegasus have a horn?" But when she looked to see the "pegasus", she found he had disappeared in the crowd.

"I can't believe you're taking me to the vet," huffed Phyre. "Besides, you don't seem like the kind of pony who'd yell at someone for a few strong insults."

"No, I'm not," said Bill with a grin. "But this IS a K+ Fanfiction, isn't it?"

Author's Note:

Well, we get to visit the other three in the next chapter. Watch out, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity! And who likes Bill's job-choice? I figured the perfect job for him would be a tourist trap, not unlike the one Grunkle Stan has. Oh, and I have a little surprise planned for the later chapters. I'd tell you, but that would ruin the surprise! Thank you to all my reviewers. I appreciate your support! Oh… and did Bill break the Fourth Wall at the end?

-SnappyDragon