It's a mistake that quickly catches up with me.
The loud snap of Shizune's fingers jolts me out of my thoughts as she glares at me furiously.
[Well?!] she signs with a heated gaze into my eyes that burns straight through me. I hear Misha's giggle as she watches her friend confront me with my inattentiveness. A feeling of panic surges through me as Shizune's piercing and unblinking glare pins me to the spot. In the back of my mind, I wonder which was worse - almost being caught by Misha as Shizune gave me a blow job, or Shizune's wrath at my ignoring what she was saying.
I quickly realize there's no contest.
Nearly getting caught was much better than this.
"Uhm," I hesitate, feeling trapped. Her stare darkens as I start to move my mouth without signing, prompting me to quickly lift my hands and sign helplessly, ["I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention."]
Shizune rolls her eyes as I confirm what she already knew, while Misha giggles all the more at my misery. [Obviously,] my girlfriend answers, scowling at me. [I asked you my question three times before I snapped at you.] She pauses, considering me then asks, [So what were you thinking about that had you so engrossed you couldn't pay attention to your girlfriend?]
I hesitate, but then answer simply with a shrug, [I was thinking about us.]
She pauses, fighting the urge to smirk. She partly loses the battle, half smiling. It's not completely reflected in her eyes, however, which are still partly angry. [That's sweet,] she begins, adding, [assuming I can believe you.] I tilt my head slightly as she mildly accuses me of lying. I'd be offended, but the fact is that while the answer I gave her was technically true, it wasn't completely forthcoming.
[So, what was it you had asked me?] I sign, trying to duck the question further, hoping that she'll let me off the hook.
Shizune smirks at me as she pauses, considering whether or not to oblige me. I suddenly feel like I'm being toyed with. I shift uncomfortably as she thinks about her answer, which only causes her to grin all the more. Misha giggles in the meanwhile, still clearly enjoying the show.
[I don't know if I should tell you,] she signs with a wicked smirk, her eyes dancing as she continues to play with me. [You weren't paying attention. So clearly, you didn't think what Misha and I were talking about was important.]
Misha giggles again, adding, ["Yeah, Hicchan! You shouldn't ignore your friends like that!"]
["What can I say?"] I ask with my voice and my fingers, ["My mind is easily distracted these last few days, particularly because of recent events."] I do my best to keep the sarcasm out of my voice while also trying convey my meaning to Shizune, but find it's difficult to translate what I'd normally rely upon tone of voice for into a look and hand motions.
Nevertheless, Shizune seems to get it while Misha merely laughs loudly at what she thought was a generic excuse and not a rebuke by way of a pointed reminder to my girlfriend that it was her that put us in a compromising position just now.
Shizune's face flashes with a touch of chagrined panic at my words. At least she has the decency to look abashed.
Still laughing, Misha obliviously piles on, ["You still shouldn't be ignoring your girlfriend, Hicchan!"]
With a slight flush of embarrassment to her cheeks, Shizune ignores our pink haired friend's attempts to continue teasing me and cuts me a break. [What I had asked you was, What are your plans for next year?] She partly glares at me while fuming over my gentle reminder of her culpability in the near incident. My smirk at her yielding doesn't help. Never one to be defeated, she adds, [Misha and I were discussing what comes after graduation while you were having your little flight of fancy.]
At first I think she's taking a calculated gamble, goading me like that. Then I realize that she's simply calling my bluff. What was I going to do, tell Misha what we were doing?
Not a chance, and Shizune well knows that.
Still, she's letting me off the hook.
A smirk crosses my lips at her inability to let me have even that minor win in the shadow of her more obvious victory of catching me being inattentive.
["Go to University,"] I answer simply.
[Yes, but what school?] she asks with an irritated gaze when she sees my generic answer.
["Kyoto University,"] I answer without thinking. In truth, I haven't yet picked a school, but was I figured it was safer to tell her anything rather than leave myself open to some speech about how important it is to be responsible and make these choices in a timely fashion. I'd been accepted to several Universities, but just couldn't make up my mind about which one.
[That's not a bad school,] Shizune answers, adjusting her glasses with a smile as she comments, [it was rated 8th among the QA Asia University Rankings]. Pausing, she watches me and then grins wickedly. [But the University of Tokyo was ranked 5th, the highest in Japan.] She meets my gaze, her eyes glinting. [That's where I'm going,] she boasts proudly.
Of course. Another way to compete. I cannot help but smile back at her, though. I'm starting to find this part of her endearing, the longer I know her. I must really be in love with her.
That or I have a masochistic streak I never knew about.
Of course, I have to admit I am partly enjoying the games. It's fun when I actually manage to beat her at something, even if it's not that often. Even losing has its pluses.
["What about you?"] I ask Misha, turning to look across the table at her.
["Oh, I'm traveling to New York City to attend university there!"] she answers with a gleeful expression. ["I've been accepted to NYU, into their education program."] She beams happily. ["It'll be fun going to America, even if getting my degree overseas will be a challenge."]
[It's good to take on challenges,] Shizune reminds Misha, who nods in return.
["What degree will you be getting, Hicchan?"] Misha asks further. Shizune looks back over to me as our friend continues, ["what kind of career are you going after?"]
I pause, thinking about the question. Shizune watches me intently and I feel like I'm again being tested on the invisible clock.
At least this time I have an answer ready.
["Well,"] I begin, pausing for a moment to collect my thoughts, ["coming here to Yamaku really helped me,"] I start to explain. I'm about to tell them how I want to be a teacher here, but as I look at Shizune and Misha, it suddenly strikes me that this our last time together as a group, maybe ever. I'm hit with memories of when Shizune and I picnicked up on the roof after we failed get Misha to join us. I feel guilty as I recall how I was too afraid to tell her how much what she did for me meant to me. I'm determined not to let another chance slip.
Drawing in a deep breath, I speak pointedly, with firm emphasis in my voice and hand motions ["But really, it was both of you that helped me."]
The two girls blink at my words, a little surprised by the direction I'm taking. They both sit up a little and blush slightly as I go on. ["I was in a really bad place when I arrived here, earlier this year. Not just my condition, but in my head and in my heart."]
Suddenly I realize that I'd never told either of them why I'm even here. These are my closest friends in the world, and I've kept that from them to this day. Today's my last chance, too. I can feel the intensity of their eyes upon me, though I can no longer look at them, the sudden flood of emotions from what I'm about to say overwhelming me.
["I...don't know what would have happened to me if I hadn't met you both,"] I explain, glancing downwards at the table. ["I was feeling very sorry for myself, hating my fate and the world. I felt like it was the end of everything."] I pause for a moment to collect myself. ["Maybe if I hadn't met the two of you, it would have been."] Neither say a word as they wait for me to continue. My words hang in the air as I swallow tightly.
["I never told you before, but all those pills in my room?"] I hesitate, glancing up at them just before taking the plunge. ["It's medication for the reason I was sent here. I have Cardiac Arrhythmia. I was only diagnosed after I had my first heart attack, last winter. I have to be really careful about my heart and treat it right, or else I could die from another attack. Even just getting hit in the chest could kill me."]
I watch their reactions as I tell them everything. They're watching me intently, their heartfelt gazes a mixture of surprise at the news and concern for me. Shizune's brow is furrowed with deep worry, and looks like she might break down in tears, which surprises me, it's so unlike her. She watches me with that typically sharp gaze of hers, her eyes burning with far greater intensity than usual. I continue, ["so...I guess I could have well met my end, if I kept going as I had been."] Taking a deep breath, I glance back down at the table.
["But...meeting you two was like a breath of fresh air. I didn't want it at first, and I tried so hard to push you away, but you wouldn't take no for an answer."] I smile ruefully as I consider those first days, when the two of them chased me so relentlessly to join them on the Student Council. ["Thank the heavens you didn't,"] I continue, closing my eyes for a moment before looking back up from the table to face them. I suddenly realize how moist my eyes are as I look at them both. Their expressions are mirrors of each other, both heartfelt affection and humble care for me. Their eyes likewise glisten with unshed tears as they watch and listen, hanging on my every word. Shizune stares at me intently, her face a portrait of passionately worried energy. It looks like all she can do to contain herself and keep from tackling me in a desperate hug. I grin wryly and plow on.
["You saved me, both of you,"] I rasp in a broken voice while signing with shaking hands, glancing over at Misha and smiling, though my gaze lingers longer on Shizune as I look back at her. Glancing down again, I continue, ["It wasn't only you, of course, everything here helped to pull me together. The teachers, the other students, Yuuko, the festivals, the Student Council..."] I pause as I realize what I just said, chuckling as I shake my head, ["but it all does come back to the both of you, in the end, doesn't it? Full circle."] Looking back at them again with a wry smile, I see the deep emotion in their eyes as they smile back at me.
I realize I need to finish my thoughts soon, before I lose the strength to do so.
["But I wouldn't have met you two if it wasn't for Yamaku,"] I explain. ["I didn't want to come here at first. I hated it. I felt like it was the start of the end."] I shake my head ruefully at my own foolishness, ["But really, in the end, it was a new beginning. This school changed my life by bringing us together, so that the two of you could save my life."] I pause, the emotion again overwhelming me.
["So,"] I suddenly add, glancing down from their intense stares again, ["I've decided I want to become a teacher here, so that I can help other kids. I want to tell them what I've learned, and I want to give them the same opportunity that I had. The opportunity to meet amazing people who will change their lives forever."]
I hesitate, not sure what else to say.
Suddenly I add in a weak voice, my hands shaking as I sign, ["thank you."] I glance up at them one more time, struggling to look into their eyes, each in turn. ["Thank you for saving me,"] as I turn from Misha, I look deeply into Shizune's eyes with my final words, lingering for an extra few moments, then glance down again, unable to face them anymore. I fall silent, suddenly feeling awkward and extremely vulnerable. I close my eyes as the silence stretches on as I continue to look down, unsure of what more to say, unable to look up at them.
Slender arms wrap about me as Shizune slides to me in the booth, wrapping me up in a tight embrace. I feel warm lips press briefly against my forehead as she squeezes me to her while my arms instinctively encircle her waist. As she presses her cheek against forehead, I feel one of Shizune's arms pull away. Opening my eyes I see her reaching across the table for Misha's hand. The girl with pink hair hesitates for a moment, then grabs my girlfriend's hand and squeezes tightly. It looks like she's crying.
Misha purses her lips and then gets up out of the booth. I'm afraid she's about to leave, but she never lets go of Shizune's hand. I feel Misha sit down on the other side of me on the bench, her arms wrapping about myself and Shizune, both. Suddenly overwhelmed again, I draw in a deep and shuddering breath, shifting my one arm so that I can place my hand upon Misha's encircling arm, giving her a squeeze while I still hold Shizune tightly still with the other. I can feel Shizune's one arm wrap about Misha's, holding onto her tightly while her other arm still rests snugly about my shoulders.
The tears flow freely and silently now. As mine trickle onto Shizune's shoulder, I can feel her's upon my neck as she buries her face there. I realize that at some point she took off her glasses. I can feel Misha's tears upon the back of my neck as she presses against me, squeezing both Shizune and I tightly together in her embrace. A happy sigh comes from the tips of my toes as I consider how lucky I've been, to find friends like these, and to fall in love with someone as special as Shizune.
Nobody moves for a while. We hold onto each other as if our lives depend upon it, wanting to cherish this special moment for as long as we can.
"Uuuhm," I hear, causing Misha and I to stir and look behind us to see who's there. Shizune lifts her head from my shoulder as we do, and the three of us look with tear stained eyes to see our waitress standing next to the table with a large tray in her hands and an awkward expression on her face. At the sight of the confused, embarrassed look on her face, we all giggle, Shizune silently, though as close as I am I can feel her body shaking petitely against mine. Slowly disentangling ourselves from each other, we part.
As Misha pulls away to stand, however, Shizune grabs one of Misha's hands and squeezes. Misha looks down into Shizune's eyes and I grab her other hand, also squeezing. She looks looks at me and then back to Shizune. Her lips then bloom into a lovely smile as she grips our hands tightly. I smile back at her, and we all hold on tightly to each other for another moment or two. She squeezes once more and releases our hands, moving to sit across from us again.
As we all wipe our eyes, Shizune and I stay close together after we both turn forward again to face Misha. Shizune picks up her glasses from the table, and I quickly look over so I can see her bare face. I smile at the sight of her. With her glasses, she's cute. Without them, she's beautiful.
Shizune lifts her glasses to her face, but I put my hand on hers to stop her. She glances as me as I do, looking confused. I meet her gaze with a smile. She smiles slightly, still looking uncertain. With my other hand I caress her bare face, stroking from her cheek up up to her temple, partly brushing my fingers into her hair. Her smile blossoms as I do this, and slowly her eyes close as she leans into my hand.
Reluctantly I pull my hand away, conscious of Misha sitting across from us. Shizune opens her eyes again, looking at me with a coy grin as she puts on her glasses again. I meet her gaze once more, smiling widely at her, causing her to beam radiantly back at me.
As I was distracted by Shizune, the waitress had set out Misha's parfait, fresh tea for everyone, and sandwiches for Shizune and I. Turning back to face forward again, I see the dish in front of me as the waitress departs. Blinking in surprise, I glance over at a grinning Shizune.
[You were busy with your flight of fancy when the waitress took our order,] she reminds me with a smirk. Misha giggles while wiping her eyes again as my girlfriend signs on, [so I took the liberty, figuring you might be as hungry as I am.]
I smile warmly at her, suddenly realizing that I am rather hungry. [Thanks,] I sign to her as I meet her gaze. I glance across the table to see Misha watching us with a knowing smirk, causing me to blush slightly. I glance over at Shizune and see her having the same reaction as she looks wordlessly looks at Misha. Our friend across the table smiles all the more at this, causing us to do the same. We all giggle a little bit, then wordlessly proceed to eat, finding that the inability to sign during a meal is for once a fitting blessing.