Gwaine laughed in Merlin's face when he walked down the stairs in a shirt and skinny jeans. "I didn't think you were being serious when you said you were coming!"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Merlin asked, offended.

"Merlin, you don't have to do this -"

"Why is everyone adamant that I shouldn't leave the house! Leon asked me if I wanted to come out for a drink and I said yes. I can't live the rest of my life hiding away in a cave, Gwaine! Now are you ready to go or not?" Gwaine was taken back at Merlin's outburst. "Does this shirt look silly?"

"No, you look fine," Gwaine replied as they left the house and got into his car.

Merlin was not quite sure whether this was a good idea, but he would soon see.

•••

Leon, Arthur and Morgana arrived at the pub before Merlin and Gwaine and so chose a booth and ordered their drinks. They were sat down talking about Merlin when Arthur spotted him.

Percy.

Percy was a musician he had worked with on his last show and who had had a huge crush on Arthur, or Arthurs arse, as many of the other dancers had pointed out on numerous occasions.

"Arthur!" Percy shouted in his direction. Leon and Morgana, having heard the stories about Arthur's almost-stalker, looked at each other and burst out laughing. Fat lot of good they were going to be then. Percy was walking towards their table and Arthur saw no way, no way at all, of getting out of this one.

Percy slid into the booth next to him; into the seat Arthur had been saving for Merlin, and threw his arm around Arthur's shoulder. "How have you been?"

"Percy, hi, I've been good, how are you?" Arthur glared at Morgana, his useless sister, looking for some kind of help, and found none, nor any from Leon.

"Great! I'm great! I was thinking about you the other day actually -"

"Gwaine! Merlin!" Leon stood up and waved the newcomers over to their table. Everyone slid round to make room, Gwaine sitting next to Leon leaving Merlin space next to Percy.

"It appears I know none of your friends, Arthur," Percy said loudly. Arthur apologised half heartedly and went round the table offering introductions.

"My sister, Morgana. Her boyfriend, Leon. His friend, Gwaine. And this," Arthur looked into Merlin's eyes. "Is Merlin,"

"And Merlin needs a drink," He mumbled. "Gwaine, what're you having?" Gwaine gave his response and Arthur offered Merlin a hand. "I can manage thanks."

•••

Percy was over the top all evening and Arthur did his downright hardest to get rid of him at every possible opportunity, to no avail.

Morgana and Leon tried to balance the conversation, to get Merlin and Gwaine to talk about each other, but they could barely get a word in edgeways. Percy made sure that everyone knew every detail of the time he and Arthur had spent working together and allowed no room for interruptions.

Percy could not take his eyes off Arthur. For this reason, Merlin could not take his eyes from Percy. He was tall and muscular, the type of person who filled the room with his presence, and his attractiveness did not escape Merlin. He was, Merlin thought, much better suited to Arthur than himself and Merlin found his hopes of a nice evening spending time with Arthur slipping away.

Arthur noticed how Merlin's attention was focused on Percy and found himself increasingly aggravated at the male. He knew Merlin would be wondering why Arthur would want Merlin when he could have Percy and he hoped the answers were right in front of him. Percy needed to be the centre of attention and was nothing but aware of his looks and how to use them. Arthur wanted nothing more than for him to leave so he could enjoy the rest of his evening but alas, no.

Merlin had had enough. When Gwaine returned from taking a call on his mobile he leant over the table and asked if they could go home.

"Actually, that was Elena on the phone, I'm gonna go round to hers in a bit, but I can take you home first?"

"Please," Merlin said. "Any objections to going right now?" Merlin and Gwaine said their goodbyes and made an exit.

•••

"I'm sorry, mate," Gwaine said in the car. "Despite eating my lasagne, he did actually seem like a nice guy,"

"Don't, Gwaine. You are the last person I want to talk to about this." Gwaine shut up for the rest of the ride, which was fortunately only short, and let Merlin out of the car without stopping the car. Merlin hadn't meant to snap but Gwaine had a tendency to get smug when it came to things like that and he was not in the mood.

He let himself into the house, turned on the TV and took up residence on the sofa. There was a showing of Notting Hill which he left on and was almost immediately asleep in the most uncomfortable position imaginable.

Merlin was awoken by a loud banging. He couldn't tell whether it was coming from the TV or from inside his head, but as he slowly regained consciousness he realised it was neither and the noise was in fact coming from the front door.

He got up and crossed the room in the dark, having not turned on any lights when he had got back, and banged his shin on an unidentifiable object – probably a table leg. "Shit," He said aloud and opened the door.

•••

Arthur had left the pub shortly after Gwaine and Merlin, telling Percy that he was not, never had been, and never will be interested in him. Percy had not looked happy, and Morgana told him not to do anything stupid but Leon had given him an encouraging smile as he rushed out into the car park and drove to Merlin's.

He heard Merlin bang into something inside the house and put it down to the fact that there were no lights on, that he could see. Merlin swore and opened the door, not pausing to unlock it as it was already unlocked, something he was sure Gwaine would not be too happy about.

When Merlin opened the door Arthur could tell, even with the lack of light, that Merlin had just woken up. "I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to wake you up,"

"It's fine, I was only on the sofa, hadn't even got changed so it's a good thing you did really," Merlin responded, still stood in the doorway. "What are you doing here," he asked bluntly.

"I wanted to apologise for tonight, it wasn't really the best way to get your social life back on track,"

"You couldn't do that in the morning?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were OK," Arthur said sincerely.

"I didn't mean to be snappy," Merlin said. "Do you want to come in?"

Arthur did, and Merlin locked the door behind him this time. They ended up on the sofa once more, sat close but not touching, watching the rest of the movie and trying hard not to make fun of it.

"In what crazy era did they ever think that these clothes looked good?" Arthur asked.

"I don't know, but Hugh Grant still looks pretty good to me,"

"You wouldthink that Hugh Grant's hot," Merlin could almost hear the eye roll.

"Hugh grant ishot," he retorted. "Notting Hill - hot. Love actually - hot -"

"Sense and Sensibility?" Arthur cut in.

"Still hot," Merlin said. "Go on then, if you Hugh Grant doesn't do it for you, who does?" Merlin challenged.

Arthur thought about it for a moment before saying to Merlin: "Guess,"

"That's mean. Let's see, I can't see you being much of a Colin Firth guy -"

"Colin Firth is old!" Arthur shot back.

"That's a no to George Clooney as well then. Leonardo Di Caprio?"

"Never tickled my fancy," Arthur told Merlin.

"Not even in Titanic?" Merlin couldn't believe Arthur didn't think Leo was hot.

"ESPECIALLY not in Titanic," Arthur grimaced.

"You're not a fan of the classics then?" Merlin studied Arthur's face, looking for clues.

"You seemed pretty into Smallville earlier, are you a comic book movie guy? Robert Downey Jr.? Chris Hemsworth?"

"No and no, but you're kinda there with the comic boom thing,"

"HUGH JACKMAN!" Merlin shouted. Arthur laughed.

"Nice, but still no. Right series though,"

"Right series? So an x-men spin off?" Arthur nodded. "Obviously not Wolverine - First Class?" A smile crept across Arthur's mouth. "Oh my god! You totally fancy Michael Fassbender!"

"Oh my god!" Arthur mocked. "I totally do," they both laughed and shifted a little closer to each other on the sofa "it's a shame he turns into a complete psycho and basically kills Charles though,"

"Just like Lex and Clark," Merlin said, referring back to their earlier conversation.

"Exactly," Arthur was enjoying himself but he felt he needed to clear the air about earlier. "Listen, Merlin, I really wish Percy hadn't shown up tonight. I wanted you to have a good time and he ruined that."

Merlin shrugged and closed the small distance between them to press his lips against Arthur's "I'm having a good time now,"

They eventually fell asleep, Arthur sat upright with Merlin's head in his lap, their hands entangled and before they could see how much they resembled the final scene of Notting Hill.

•••

Merlin awoke to someone shaking his shoulder gently and was confused as to where he was and why he was so uncomfortable.

"Merlin," a voice whispered. Merlin placed the voice as Arthur's and remembered the previous night and assumed they must have fallen asleep watching the movie. He rolled over so that he was facing Arthur and smiled.

"I was enjoying that sleep," he mumbled.

"You'd enjoy it even more if you were actually in a bed," Arthur told him.

"Sofa's'fine," he replied, rolling back over and burying his face in Arthur's lap.

"Come on sleepy head," Arthur lifted his knees, forcing Merlin up and helped him up the stairs, though he was not sure how he was managing to be so helpful, he was just as tired as Merlin was. His arm firmly tucked around Merlin's waist, Arthur waited for Merlin to give an indication of which room was his. "Am I leaving you out here on the landing then?" he joked. Merlin whipped round.

"Please stay," he asked, his eyes meeting Arthur's and finding himself unable to not be drawn into them.

"I will if you want me to?" Merlin did. They entered his bedroom and Merlin told him to wait on the bed. He came back a few moments later with a simple black t-shirt in his hands.

"It's Gwaine's," Merlin said, passing it to Arthur. "Nothing of mine will fit you." He explained.

"Do I use it as a pillow?" Arthur asked, and Merlin shot him an exasperated look.

"You put it on, idiot. I'm assuming you don't carry your pyjamas around with you so you can sleep in that,"

"I do have an overnight bag in the car actually," Arthur told Merlin, proud of himself. "It doesn't have pyjamas in though; I usually just sleep in my boxers, if that's ok?"

Merlin appeared to mull over Arthur's question as he himself was taking off the shirt and skinny jeans he had worn to the pub. On the floor beside him was a large t-shirt which would clearly be baggier than the ones Merlin favoured in the daytime and a pair of tartan bottoms.

Tartan.

"Won't you get cold?" Merlin asked, recapturing his attention.

"I rarely get cold," Arthur told Merlin. "I'll put the t-shirt on if it makes you more comfortable," he said, reaching for the shirt and beginning to undress.

"Arthur, your nudity makes me everything but uncomfortable," Merlin said. "It does get bloody cold in here at night though,"

"If I do get cold, I can just put it on, right?" Merlin nodded as he continued getting ready for bed. Arthur slid out of his jeans and abandoned them on the floor beside the bed and climbed under the duvet. Merlin got in on the other side, Arthur had chosen the side of the bed whose bedside table was not cluttered, telling him it was not Merlin's side, and immediately leant back against Arthur's chest. "Thank you," he said.

"For being semi-naked in your bed?" Arthur asked. Merlin elbowed him in the ribs. "What for?"

"You've ruined the moment now," he replied grumpily.

"I'm sorry, you're welcome for whatever it was you were thankful for," Arthur shifted closer to the centre of the bed and Merlin moved so that his head rested on Arthur's chest.

He could hear the steady beat of Arthur's heart as he fell asleep.

•••

When Merlin woke up the bed was empty.

It took him a while to remember that there had in fact been someone else in the bed with him, but when he did, Merlin was not impressed.

The clock on the bedside table told him it was time to wake up, and though he was not expecting anyone to be in the house to keep him company, he knew that if he stayed in bed much longer he wouldn't end up getting out of it at all.

He didn't bother getting dressed and went downstairs in his pyjamas in search of coffee. There was a note on the island.

Merlin, I have to go to training, really sorry. I enjoyed last night, ring me after 5 - Arthur x

Merlin told himself he would not be ringing Arthur. For some reason, the abrupt departure which suggested they had slept together and Arthur was ashamed or the feeble note perhaps, Merlin was really angry at Arthur. It also may have had something to do with the fact that Merlin was completely alone in the house on a Sunday with nothing to do and had been hoping Arthur would stay with him. His anger was completely irrational but there was nothing he could do to quell it.

Gwaine was often like this, overly angry for no reason, and most of the time it could be almost solved by feeding him something so Merlin thought that coffee might help.

It had the opposite effect.

Waking Merlin up made him realise how annoyed he was, rather than making him be rational and see that there was nothing for him to be annoyed about.

He also knew that Gwen could be like this from their time living together so he rang her. It took three attempts for her to pick up.

"Sorry Merlin, I didn't hear the phone ringing," That's a lie, Merlin thought. He had deliberately personalised the ringtone on Gwen's phone so that when he rung an obnoxiously loud ringtone would sound, as well as the screen lighting up and the phone vibrating so that she would never miss his calls. She was probably hoping she could avoid him, Sundays were the day everyone least wanted to spend with Merlin. "Everything ok?" She asked.

"Well I was wondering, you know when you get really angry about little things for no reason?" he said.

"Yeah..."

"Why?"

"You really have to ask me that Merlin? Girl problems, dufus," Oh yeah, he thought. "Why? What's got your knickers in a twist?"

"Very funny. Nothing really, nothing important anyway. I just wanted to know how you make yourself see sense,"

"I usually cry over whatever it is that I've blown out of proportion and then Lance brings me Ice Cream. Does the trick most times. You can come over and talk about it if you like" She offered.

"Its fine, I'm sure you don't want to spend all day cooped up inside listening to me moan over nothing," He could almost hear Gwen's nod. "I'll just stay here and try to force myself into being reasonable, thanks though."

"OK, ring me if you need anything,"

"Sure, bye."

Merlin decided to go for a run to try to clear his head. He got changed into his running gear, it being a hobby he had enjoyed before Will's death, and set out on one of his usual paths. He encountered no one he knew, for which he was grateful, but the fresh air and time to think only reinforced his anger.

Merlin really didn't know what was wrong with him. Arthur had shown him nothing but kindness and he hadn't done anything in the sexual department that Merlin hadn't agreed to.

He began to realise that he had grown to rely on Arthur way more than he had ever relied on anyone before. This was strange because they had known each other for so little time, but Arthur had been there since the night of the accident and had really proved he cared. This was why Merlin was upset, and even this realisation could not shift the blame and anger Merlin was pushing onto Arthur.

In the ridiculously short time they had been friends, Arthur had become the one person Merlin could turn to and who had really wanted to be there for him. Merlin needed him now, so where was he. He needed someone to take his mind off the fact that his best friend would never tell Merlin what a hopeless idiot he was, would never spend time video chatting with him when he missed him, would never smile his goofy smile and would never fall asleep on the couch with him after a daylong Harry Potter marathon where Merlin would sit through the first 6 movies waiting for Jamie Campbell Bower's tiny appearance in the 7th to annoy Will by going on about how much he fancied him.

Merlin had spent so long grieving Will's actual death that he hadn't given a thought to the little things which were the basis of their friendship.

Merlin was minutely aware of a car beeping its horn as he ran along the main road but was too wrapped up in his moment to realise that it was after his attention. When a car slowed down beside him and someone shouted his name, he turned his body to see Gwaine's head poking out of the window of his car, and tripped over a fallen tree branch he had not seen on the pavement.

He came crashing the floor and instantly felt the pain shoot through his ankle, too intense to just be a sprain, and knew straight away that he had done some damage.

Gwaine's car stopped on the curb and he got out as Merlin was trying to get to his feet. He didn't want Gwaine to know he was hurt, but he could tell something was wrong by the way Merlin leant against the nearest tree for support and didn't put his weight on his right foot.

"Get in the car idiot. I'll take you to the hospital," Gwaine said. Merlin didn't bother pointing out that this was Gwaine's fault in the first place. He hoped that Gwaine would assume the tears rolling down his face were to do with the pain and not due to the fact Merlin had almost been having a meltdown. As with the night of the incident with the crockery, the pain gave Merlin something different to concentrate on and he focused on doing just that.

"I don't need the hospital, just let's go home," he said to Gwaine as he was helped into the filthy backseat of Gwaine's car.

"Nice try, but I know you. You wouldn't be crying over a little sprain, would you?" Merlin shook his head. "See, you've obviously hurt yourself pretty bad. Hospital it is,"

Gwaine got back into the driver's seat and did a highly illegal u-turn in the middle of the road in order to be travelling in the direction they needed to.

Although the ache in his ankle was doing a good job of keeping his mind occupied, there was a small part of him that refused to let go of the thoughts he had been thinking. His heart swelled and tears began to pour down his cheeks again. Gwaine saw them from in the rear view mirror.

"We're nearly there, Merlin," he said, obviously trying to be reassuring. "You must've hurt yourself pretty bad, huh?"

"I miss him, Gwaine." he choked out, his voice small and broken, mirroring how Merlin felt. Gwaine met his eyes in the mirror.

"Everything's going to be fine," he told him, but Merlin knew once more that it would not.

Nothing would ever be the same again.

•••

Although Merlin had broken his ankle, the doctors said that it was a clean break and would be healed relatively quickly. He let them put on the cast in a state of numbness and only pretended to take the pain medication they gave him. He was still able to focus some of his energy on his ankle and he thought if he took that away, he would well and truly be in a terrible state.

Gwaine helped Merlin out of the hospital in his crutches and was leant against the side of the car waiting for Gwaine to unlock it when Morgana spotted him and came rushing over.

"What've done this time, Merlin?" she asked incredulously. Arthur had no doubt informed her of the last time he had seen Merlin in the hospital, and Merlin was still bearing the scars of that particular incident.

"Fell over," he mumbled.

"He was momentarily blinded by my good looks and lost his footing while he was out jogging. Hi Morgana," Gwaine contributed.

"Hi Gwaine. Well I hope you're OK Merlin but I have to dash, they're supposed to be letting my father out today and I'm sure there are a kinds of forms I'll have to fill out. On my own, I might add seeing as my useless brother is off prancing around like a girl, again." The malice was covered by Morgana's jokey tone, but Merlin knew just how she felt. They all said goodbye and Gwaine helped Merlin into the car, the front seat this time as Merlin refused to go in the back seat amongst the filth and grime again.

"You haven't been out jogging in ages," Gwaine commented when they were almost home.

"I thought it would clear my head," Merlin told him.

"Did it work?" Gwaine asked, either having the courtesy not to ask what had been bothering him or assuming that the answer would be Will.

"Not really,"

When they got home, Gwaine helped Merlin into the house and upstairs to his bedroom. With Gwaine's help, he changed back into his pyjamas - he would tackle the showering issue tomorrow.

Merlin climbed under the duvet knowing he did not stand a chance of getting anything productive done in his current state. Gwaine fetched supplies from downstairs, bringing up food, drinks and a DVD, and climbed onto the bed beside Merlin after he put the film on. Gwaine ate for a good twenty minutes as Merlin sipped on a glass of water before saying, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Merlin shook his head, willing himself to hold it together but heard himself speak anyway. "It only just hit me." he said. "How I'm really never going to see him again." His voice sounded dead and his chest ached. Gwaine put his arm around Merlin's shoulders and did not push the issue. Merlin managed to fall asleep through his pain, both mental and physical, against Gwaine's shoulder.

•••

Gwaine shifted under him about an hour later, trying to get Merlin off him without waking him up, but Merlin did anyway. He looked alarmed, pleading with Gwaine through his eyes not to leave him.

"I'm just going for more snacks, I'll be back in a minute, go back to sleep," Gwaine reassured him. Although Merlin was still sleepy, he felt jumpy without human company and the pain in his foot had reached an unmanageable level. He shifted on the bed to lean over the side to retrieve the pills he had been given in the hospital and washed them down with a gulp of water.

He heard his phone ringing from where he had left it downstairs the night before and pictured Gwaine rushing to pick it up and bounding upstairs with it.

"It's Arthur." He said, handing Merlin the phone. "Do you want anything else from downstairs?" Merlin shook his head and took the phone, immediately rejecting the call. Gwaine went back downstairs to get what he had gone for and Arthur rung twice more. He then texted, which Merlin read.

Morgana just told me what happened. Ring me x

And then a few moments later:

Sorry, just realised that you're probably asleep or something. Hope you're OK, ring me if you need anything x

Infuriated, Merlin threw his phone at the nearest wall and heard the screen crack.

I did need something. Merlin thought. I needed you, and now I wish I could stop.

Please let me know if you are enjoying this story, it makes me so happy to read reviews! I've got some pretty serious exams coming up in school soon so updates will be regular but not as often, possibly 2/3 times per week, I hope that's OK. The response I've had so far has been great so thank you all so much for taking the time to read and review, it means the world!