Disclaimer: I thank Stephenie Meyer for sharing her characters but I do not own them.

Chapter 3. Soul Searching. (Bella's Point of View)

I was beginning to feel exhausted feeling my powers take me over completely. I normally didn't let myself get this far but I wanted desperately for the Cullen's to understand just how lethal I was to there existence. There was no doubt in my mind that I would ever willingly hurt any of them. Their souls where too gentle for me to feel that kind of aggression but they needed to understand how powerful I may become if I let myself go in the slightest.

I had already told Billy that I would need for Jacob to possibly save me from myself this evening. Especially if things got out of hand like they were possibly about to. I closed my eyes and squinted them tightly continuing to comfort the monster that was breaking free from its shell. It had been centuries since I had let my powers loose like this.

The ground started trembling and I could feel the moisture from the rain fall next to us. I could hear audible gasp from the crowd but I couldn't open my eyes to see who it was. My body started shaking involuntarily and I gasped for air. I lifted my other hand to try and push away the storm that was approaching much closer. As I could feel it moving slightly a brutal force came crashing down on me.

My body stiffened and as a reflex the monster inside of me shoved whatever it was at full force. There was a brief howl in my ear that shook my senses bringing the human me up and pushing the monster inside its hole again. I focused all of my attention on calming the storm that I had created before opening my eyes.

It was dead silent. Much like the silence I experienced when I first awoke as this creature. I glanced towards my capture to see Jacob and Seth pinned against me using all of there combined strength to hold me down. I felt extremely embarrassed that I hadn't yet in all of my years learned to control the monster and that yearned to be free and seek vengeance for my tribe.

I let out a sigh and pushed again against Jacob and Seth hoping that they would get the point and let me go. Of course, they didn't. I was in complete control now and they should know that by sudden change in the atmosphere. Maybe they were afraid for there friends?

I admit that I didn't understand at first when they tried to explain there link to the vampire family. It was only briefly explained to me that before they were brought into the life of shape shifters Jacob and Seth were attacked by other vampires, thankfully Edward and Emmett where there and saved there lives. Billy was forever grateful and begged me to help when the other vampires came to destroy them. Jacob wanted me to stay out of it…actually everyone but Billy wanted me to stay out of it. I agreed to help shortly after the boys took off and followed there scents to a clearing in the middle of the woods.

When I had arrived home, Jacob was less than pleased with my actions, but I could tell that he was at least thankful I was around. "Jacob, Seth…I promise I am not a danger right now, please for the love of all that is holy get your big butts off of me. You smell horrible."

I heard a few chuckles followed by loud laughter coming from the forest edge. Once I was released by my captors I stood up and brushed my self off. I noticed that the Cullen's where no longer sitting near the camp fire but instead had moved a couple of hundred feet away into the woods. I laughed to myself at how I may have inadvertently scared away possible new friends. But then again, deep down inside that was my purpose.

Alice was the first to start walking my direction much to the dismay of Jasper who was tense at her side. I smiled at Alice trying to reassure that I was fine and she picked up her pace. Before I knew what was happening she was at my side hugging me with excitement in her eyes. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to let myself get out of control like that."

Alice released me from her hold and took a small step back before nodding her head. "I knew what was going to happen. That was so awesome!" That was not the reaction I was hopping for. The little pixie girl was definitely growing on me. I couldn't help but smirk at her comment. I turned my head to the obviously displeased Jasper. I could sense the tension rolling off of him in waves. I bowed my head and offered him an apologetic smile.

"Truly I did mean to scare you guys slightly, but only as a warning. I can not always control my strength. I have no intentions to hurt you or your family." His glare loosened a bit but he still held on to Alice protectively. "You emotions were all over the place. Anger, anxiety, confusion...happiness. I have never experienced such an emotional war before." I knew how I had felt and could sympathize that he had to share that experience with me.

I didn't respond and instead nodded in grievance. The rest of the family started to approach slowly before taking there original seats again by the fire. Carlisle was the first to speak once everyone was seated again. "That was interesting. I would like to work with you on your control if you don't mind. I do have experience in these matters." I felt like I was on display now, all eyes where focused on me. "If you think you could help I wouldn't mind trying." I barely whispered knowing that he could hear me.

I watched Carlisle nod his head before speaking again. "I'm glad you showed us that, but that was not exactly what I meant by 'showing us' what you could do. I am sorry that I was not very clear. But you must understand that for centuries my family and I had thought of ourselves as soulless creatures damned to hell for all existence. Is there proof that our souls exist?"

I knew that this question would come about and I didn't really know how to explain it better than I already had, "well, I don't really have a way to show you. I would if I could but I can't." I shrugged my shoulder's slightly ducking my head to the side. Often at times I felt like a small child who was confused and lost. I hoped that this wasn't showing through to much. I needed to remain strong; my care free side would probably be better suited. I was a master at blending in with different personalities at one point in time, but I hadn't had contact with people much less conversation for years…I didn't know how to act anymore.

When I glanced up all eyes where still locked onto my own. They were waiting for an answer that I could provide which was extremely aggravating. "You can see your own souls technically." I paused while intertwining my fingers together nervously. I had no idea why I was acting this way. Then it hit me. Jasper. I looked at him to see a small smile playing across his lips. A growl erupted from my chest and then the child like emotions stopped. I took a deep breath to collect myself and then glared in his direction.

"It's only fair." Rosalie was now glaring at me in defense for Jasper. Edward and Emmett where smiling and shaking there heads at the joke that obviously directed at me. "You think it's funny?" I turned to look at the both of them, watching as there smiles disappeared and there gazes fell to the ground. Jasper shrugged his shoulders. "You show me yours, so I showed you mine."

I could feel the anger and humiliation boiling under my skin. My hands clenched together at my side and I was involuntarily grinding my teeth together trying to hold my temper. I let out another sigh and walked away heading down the beach. Once I was a few yards away I could hear Emmett's booming laughter followed by, "I told you she was mental."

Great, now they were cracking jokes to add to my humiliation. I didn't stay close enough to hear what was said or what happened after that. I made my way quickly through the sand before finding a rock to sit on and calm my nerves. Foot steps approach quickly and almost as soon as I blinked my eyes Jacob was sitting next to me.

"Sorry about them. They really are good people. They just take there jokes a little more serious than the average person." I glanced at Jacob from the corner of my eye and I could see the sincerity pouring out of him. "Yea, well I think what upset me the most was the truthfulness of the joke." I let out a light chuckle while I pulled my knees up to my chin.

The waves where coming up to tide in a very solid pattern creating foamy white bubbles on the surface. It was amazing watching as the moon left its mark across the water. The stars accented the moon beautifully this evening. A few clouds where left in the sky, the grey contrasting nicely with the bright white lights and the midnight blue. It was picture perfect.

Jacob let out another sigh mimicking my position. "What do you mean by the truthfulness of the joke?" I was almost shocked that he didn't 'get it' but I answered him as sincerely as I could. "Well…I am mental so to speak. Emotions get to me and if I were human I would be locked in a Looney bin for all of the emotional break downs that happen when I open myself up to people." I laughed again at my own joke while trying to create a mental image in my head of someone locking me up and throwing away the key.

"Bella, you're unique but not mental. I say you don't let them get to you and instead join me in my conquest of getting even with them." Jacob stood up quickly sticking his hand out in my direction offering me to stand up with him. "Well, I don't know about starting anything tonight. But, your offer does sound rather tempting." A huge smile crossed his face as I took his hand and stood up with him. The wind was blowing his long black hair around his face and the moon was creating light patterns in his black eyes. His russet colored skin seemed darker than usual but it was probably due to the night sky.

"Do I have to go back?" I pouted and he laughed. I had only known Jacob for a few days now but he seemed like family and I would consider him to be my brother. My much younger brother, but still my brother. "Yes, you have to go back…with a vengeance of course. They don't know everything you are capable of." He smiled at that comment and I secretly wondered what he was talking about. "Huh?" He shook his head and looked down at me. "The only legends I paid any attention to as a kid revolved around your many pranks with the children in the tribes. I wish I could have seen the elder's faces when you helped the kids paint the cattle."

I laughed at that memory. It was something simple where no one was harmed but it was still one of my fondest memories. To see all of the smiling faces on those little children who were upset that the elders wouldn't let them learn to hunt at such a young age. Of course, my pranks have become better and more detailed as the technology to use has become more efficient in my conquest. "Well, Jacob I don't know what you have heard but a pink cow is very tasty." I grinned at him as he placed his arm around my shoulder.

I was beginning to see the camp fire again as we approached the beach. Billy and the rest of the pack had left Seth with the Cullen's by himself. Not that they really had any point to be out there anyways. They were silent protectors never really speaking to me unless spoken to. I didn't like that at all. I wanted to be treated as a friend, but I guess that was something to be earned with time.

I didn't even glance up at the Cullen's as I made my way to sit in between Seth and Jacob. I was probably to trusting and lenient with my friendship. I was often told as a child by my own father that I wore my heart on my sleeve offering friendship to whoever I encountered. Maybe this time it should be earned. After all I didn't start it.

I peered at Jacob from the corner of my eye and then towards Seth. They were both smiling like idiots. Jacob still had his arm wrapped around my shoulder pulling me closer to him. Seth moved slightly and then I felt another warm arm wrap around my waste. It felt close to a tug a war.

I rolled my eyes taking a second to glance towards the Cullen's again. They sat there just as I left them, still amused at my expense. "Bella, I'm sorry for my family's behavior. Please if you could continue trying to explain the soul theory to me." Carlisle was still interested in finding out as much as I knew. It didn't take a real observant person to know that he was the information seeker of the family. At first I would have assumed that position to be filled by Edward but he didn't need to seek information from other people. He could hear it already.

"Carlisle would you like to take a walk with me and I'll explain it as best as I could." I offered a smile towards him but it instantly turned into a frown, I was confused and then sad and then happy…my emotions where all over the place. I glanced over at Jasper to catch him staring at me with a devious grin on his face. Edward was glaring at him as different emotions where being thrown my way.

I had enough of his child's play. I threw my hand allowing a large enough gust of wind to expand and then knock Jasper out of his seat and on to the ground. "If this is the game you want to play Jasper I will play with you. But be warned I am probably more skilled at it than you." I was grinning from ear to ear watching Jasper try to stand up before I blew him over again with a flick of my wrist.

A low growl escaped his lips as he lay on the dirt ground mumbling profanities. Alice was obviously not taking any side as she sat silently next to Edward. "I'd be happy to walk with you Bella." Carlisle broke my concentration on Jasper as he stood to walk towards me. I stood up releasing Jacob and Seth's hold on me and motioned for him to join me on a walk along the beach.

"Please behave while I am gone." With that Carlisle nodded his head towards his family and left with me in tow. I was still glaring at Jasper from the corner of my eye until we were safely out of hearing distance. I stopped in front of the water along the beach and glanced around noticing how much I was going to detest this conversation.

It wasn't that I minded the conversation as much as I minded having to explain what I couldn't exactly explain to myself. It was aggravating. "Carlisle, there isn't really much that I can tell you except the proof that your family has a soul in each one of them is in there behavior. If you can love, hate, offer compassion or express any other emotion you have a soul. The simple fact that you can make out the difference between right and wrong and then choose which path you take means that you have a soul."

He looked at me curiously and nodded his head. "I knew that for a long time. But, convincing my family, especially Edward is proving to be difficult. He looks at himself as a monster incapable of being anything else." I was going to open my mouth to say something but he had placed his hand up motioning me to allow him to continue. I obliged wondering what it was he needed to say.

"My dear, as much as I appreciate your gifts and want to help with them I am concerned about something else that is going to soon be much more pressing." I was staring at him curiously analyzing his words carefully waiting for his next response.

"You see, my family and I were going to die today. Our existence was going to be over. But, you prevented that…not in the most peaceful way…and I can't help but think of the consequences. The Volturi, as wrong as they may have been in some of there assumptions were the reason there is any kind of peace with our kind. With them gone I am afraid now that history will repeat itself. Are you aware of the previous wars that have occurred within my kind?"

His words where not harsh but I could sympathize with the obvious concern that laced his voice. I did know about the previous wars. It wasn't something I had been thinking about recently. The war with the newborns over territory consumed a lot of lives needlessly. I nodded my head 'yes' waving my hand for him to continue. I was in my serious mode at this time. I knew where he was heading and I didn't yet know what my responses where going to be.

"Well, my dear…I don't know if there is a family able to take the responsibility that the Volturi had, nor do I know of a family that is willing. No one wants that burden. But, unfortunately I do not hold you responsible, but you would be the only person I would think that could fix this problem. I would be happy to help you which ever way you need. But, something must be done to fix this before a war happens. Surely you can understand my concern. Also, please don't think that I am not thankful to have my self as well as my family safe and alive. I just can't help but wonder about the future it what it may hold for my kind now."

I could see the compassion and sorrow in his eyes, he was afraid for his family, afraid for the life that many of his kind where able to peacefully set up for themselves. And, of course I may have inadvertently…without even thinking ruined that peace for them. "I'm sorry. I will fix it if it means taking over myself. I feel so stupid, I didn't even think of the consequences."

I was now holding my head down in shame watching the waves rush up on the beach only to disappear using the same path that they previously followed. "Bella, I'm sure that you will make a good decision whatever decision you make in regards to this matter. Again, I am here to offer my council whenever you need. I just hope that your decision will consider everyone. Thank you for listening." I felt worse with every word he spoke. Words could not explain how bad I felt for not considering the consequences to my actions. I nodded my head and waved my hand motioning for him to join me back at the fire.

"So Bella, when can we start this game?" Emmett was looking at me while he bounced in his seat. I had several problems on my hands now. One being my top priority to find a new guard to replace the Volturi, second being the playful 'war' with the obnoxious Cullen kids and third being to figure what I was doing next. "I'm sorry guys, but we should continue this later. I need to decide what I am doing with myself while I am here." Emmett immediately frowned and Jacob looked up at me curiously before shrugging his shoulders in a sign of defeat. I turned to leave offering the family a wave when Alice started waving her arms in the air looking at me.

Edward's head shot up and then immediately gave Alice a nod indicating that whatever she was thinking he did not agree with. She shrugged her shoulders and turned her head towards me before speaking. "Come stay with us! You could go to school with us and it'll be so much fun." I blinked. That was my only response, I couldn't speak my voice wouldn't come to me. I knew this family was loving and all but for her to invite me into there home?

I was dangerous this should not be allowed but the part of me that wanted to know them better was arguing its case well. I still just blinked. I looked from each person's expression landing on Edwards last. He looked horrified as he should. "No Alice, I don't think that would be a good idea. Thank you though."

Jacob had been silent through most of this but I could sense his unease with the possibility of me staying with the Cullen's. He knew just as well as I did that this would possibly be a bad idea. I stood up to walk away when a hand reached out to grab me. I turned my head to see Esme standing next to me. "Bella, it would be an honor if you would stay with us…again, Carlisle would love to help you with controlling your strength." She smiled warmly at me, I opened my mouth to speak but felt hesitant, she had a very kind and gentle soul and I knew she meant every word she said but I could sense that her and Alice where not speaking for everyone in the family when she said that she would be honored for me to stay with them. Rosalie was still unsure and cautious of me, Edward looked horrified and Jasper was still unsure of my intentions.

"I really don't think that the rest of your family agrees with you on that Esme. But thank you. I am sure we will see each other again." I smiled at her with out looking at the rest of the family before waving good bye. I really needed to rest my mind for a few moments before taking on the new challenges in my life.

Before I knew it I was far away from any kind of civilization again. I was still somehow on the beach as my powers often drew me into the water. I climbed up on a rock to gather my thoughts and closed my eyes so that I could zone out of myself for awhile.

I turned Alice's idea of high school over in my head a few times. I hadn't been to school in a long time and still probably knew more than the teachers did. History wouldn't exactly be a tuff subject unless they had there facts wrong; which I am sure they did. But, then again…maybe it would be fun.

Without even the full comprehension that I made up my mind to possibly go to school again, I jumped up and began walking back towards the Black's house. I could faintly see the porch light on when I heard a squealing Alice. I jumped back a few feet not really expecting to see her standing there bouncing up and down in front of me.

"Alice? Are you ok?" I knew she was just fine so I made my self sound as sarcastic as possible. She picked up on it instantly and gave me an all knowing look. "We are going to be best friends in school. I'm going to have Esme enroll you first thing in the morning! It's going to be so much fun; we'll just tell people that you are a new addition to the family, which really you are! This is going to be great. We need to go shopping tomorrow for new school clothes. Oh my god I can not wait."

She was speaking so fast that it was difficult for me to keep up with her. I just looked at her astonished with my mouth gaping open. "She has that effect on all of us." I turned my head to see that all of the Cullen children where standing in the shadows staring at my reaction with humor written all over there faces.

"So I see." I practically mumbled incoherently while they all quickly approached. The levels of emotions this family put off was somewhat unnerving to be around. Especially Alice and Edward, they both stared at me all the time causing me to feel some what inadequate. I don't know what they saw but surely it wasn't worth staring at.

Emmett shoved Rosalie forward inching her closer to me as she shot him a glare of disapproval. "I wanted to apologize for my behavior. I would love it if you stayed with us." She didn't sound apologetic at all. I knew she was being forced into this decision. "It's really ok Rosalie. You're not the reason I didn't want to stay with your family. You are not the only one who does not want me there."

Her eyes opened wide and then turned into slits again. "I told you it wasn't just me!" She crossed her arms in defiance which made me chuckle. She was just as immature as Emmett, one of the many reasons they worked together. "Who else is it Bella?" Alice was pouting now. Her big eyes illuminated and her bottom lip was pertruding slightly.

"Umm, really guys it's no big deal. But I would like to give the high school life a try. It might be entertaining for a little while." Now Alice was crossing her arms while Jasper rubbed her shoulders to calm her. They were truly a ying and yang couple.

"Please tell me… I'm sure they don't mean to come off so rude! We all adore you, well some more than others but really we all will love you eventually!" Now this I had to laugh at as I rolled my eyes. Alice was right we we're going to be best friends. She was simply irresistible.

"Again, Alice, it's not a big deal. Some people are either horrified at the thought of me living there or deeply concerned as they should be for the safety of the others. If I can not control my emotions that control my strength I could be a danger to you all."

I sighed and patted her on the head as one would do to a child who was arguing for no reason. Emmett laughed as Edward again began to stare at the ground but this time instead of his horrified expression he had a look of sadness. Jasper and Rosalie never changed there stance nor there expression which clearly told me that they were not changing there opinions any time soon. I whole heartedly understood.

"So, Carlisle was thinking something that we are all curious about now...could you explain the situation with the guard to us?" Edward was talking? His voice was curious and hesitant at the same time. Was he afraid of my reaction? I shrugged my shoulders and began explaining our conversation from earlier on the beach leaving out the part where Carlisle had told me that he was concerned about how Edward viewed him self. It was not my place to tell him that. Different emotions flashed across each one of there faces. Alice wrapped a single arm around my waste looking up at me with determined eyes. "I have a good feeling that you'll do just fine in this situation."

She smiled at me before hugging me tightly and returning to Jasper's side. I could here Rosalie mumbling something along the lines of 'she better' and Jasper was obviously tense. Emmett didn't seem to have a care in the world. I could picture him being the kind of person who went looking for reasons to fight and get into trouble. Edward just stared at me with a look I couldn't place. His expression was blank and his eyes where filled with emotion. Sorrow maybe? "I'll figure it out, I'm sorry to endanger your family yet again. Please understand that it was never my intentions."

I looked back down at the ground staring at the pattern that my shoes made in the dirt. "Well I better get going. I'll see everyone tomorrow maybe?" Alice patted me on the back and nodded her head 'yes' as the rest of her family turned to leave. Edward was walking with his family but his head was turned just enough to where he was staring at me again. His gaze was penetrating as my eyes locked on to his until they all disappeared into the woods edge.

'Well, that went well.' I mentally cursed myself before joining Jacob and Leah on the couch with a sigh.