A/N: I know this story is heading into Angst Central, but this is where the TPTB took it....I'm only trying to fill in the gaps. And, OBTW, I don't own the story, characters, angst, etc, etc.....

Sara was emotionally drained and managed a few hours of decent sleep, only to awaken with the same resolve to follow through on what she knew she must do. She would never be able to return to Gil in Vegas; she was certain of that. Expecting him to leave what he had spent the better part of his career putting together, and what he still thrived on, was unrealistic. Text messages and e-mails don't keep you warm at night, and their few visits were hardly frequent or long enough to sustain any semblance of a real relationship.

She scotch taped the script she had prepared near the camera lens so she could discretely refer to it. She had rehearsed a few times, but the last thing she needed was to get off track and start over talking. No telling what ramblings would pour out. She pretended they were in his office, and sitting across his desk from one another. She had always managed to say what she needed to in that setting. As the camera rolled, she continued talking across the desk in her mind, until the end of the message neared. When the good-bye was immanent, her throat tightened, her voice cracked, and to prevent herself from full out sobbing on video she ended the message before she could say it. That was as much as she could do. She ended it with "I'm good. I'm really good, and, honestly, I think it's better this way." It's all she could get out. No good bye or I love you or even have a nice life. The second the video stopped the tears began to flow.

She feigned stomach flu and stayed in her room all evening. Catatonic grief had completely engulfed her. Ross accepted a "rain check" for dinner, and she promised him to go the very next night.

When she was able, she wandered into town, found an internet café and sent off her video message to Grissom. She never previewed it; she couldn't go there. It was done; time to move on. She immediately signed off; she didn't want to see if he responded. She really didn't think he would want to anyway.

That evening she felt a little unburdened, but just a bit. Still, it was enough to allow her to follow through with the dinner invitation. She donned a peasant dress and sandals that she had purchased in Ecuador and wore her hair curly and natural. Ross was waiting on deck for her with a bouquet of exotic flowers.

She smiled broadly upon seeing them, "Hey, no fair," she inhaled deeply the most intoxicating scent from the blooms, "this is not supposed to be a date."

"This is completely legal; I'm a botanist after all. I mean if I can't bring along a plant or two, then who can?" He was genuinely pleased to see her smile, "Why don't you put them in some water in your room, I'll wait for you here."

She nodded, and complied with his suggestion. The flowers were unique and magnificent. They brightened up the little stateroom, not to mention they brightened up her mood significantly.

The restaurant was out in the middle of nowhere, not much more than a covered porch connected to a kitchen. A nearby waterfall and friendly wildlife made for a picture perfect setting.

Over a glass of wine, Ross began to ask about forensics, "You must have so many amazing stories from that line of work. What is the most bizarre case you ever worked?"

The smile faded, "I burned out badly and sacrificed a lot to leave that job and that place behind. I really don't want to talk about any murdered victims. I'm trying hard to bury those ghosts."

"I'm so sorry. That was very insensitive of me. I guess for us lay people it's just so fascinating, but never having been face to face with it, well, …..I'm sorry"

"Tell me about your career, how long have you been in this area?"

"I've been researching biodiversity for my entire career, but I've just been here for the last three years. Before this, I lived in Costa Rica for ten years."

Sara managed to keep the conversation focused on his travels and botany work through the appetizers and another glass of wine. All the while he was dying to learn more about her.

He finally dove in, "So are you going to tell me about the man you left behind in Las Vegas?"

"I'd rather not, it's quite painful."

"Did he do something to hurt you?"

"Oh, my God, no! Nothing like that." Fidgeting in her seat, "It's complicated and it's off limits."

Ross detected the seriousness in her tone, and knew to back off.

The dinner conversation flowed much better as long as the topics stayed away from Sara's past. Ross was quite intelligent and entertaining, and, after a few glasses of wine, quite handsome. He was dressed in a tropical print shirt and jeans. The shirt would have looked ridiculous anywhere else, but was perfect for that location. He was quite tanned and fit as one would expect from someone spending all their time rummaging in remote locations in search of rare vegetation.

On the walk back to the ship, Sara started noticing an attraction for this gentle stranger. Kindness and companionship in this lonely period of her life appealed to her, despite the fact that she hadn't gone looking for it.

When they got back to the ship, Sara was ready to part ways. She was still weary from the turmoil she went through over sending the video message. At her door, there was an awkward moment when Ross looked as though he might try to kiss her good night. They stood there, face to face, very close, while he tried to read her.

"Thank you," she whispered, and leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek, "Good night."

He nodded and smiled as she disappeared into her room. Clearly a bit disappointed, but he had been warned that she did not consider their dinner a date. Still, he couldn't help feeling immense attraction for this mysterious woman.

Grissom was trying his best to focus on work, but was having more and more uncharacteristic lapses. Between his lack of sleep, missing meals, being preoccupied with what might be going on with Sara, and grieving for Warrick, he was in bad shape. His melancholy was so pervasive, even the poor dog, Hank, was starting to act depressed.

He stopped checking his phone and e-mail as frequently and certainly without the expectation of a message from her, but he also worried that she was even alive. He became angry that she cut off all communication, and he certainly didn't understand that it was his words and actions which caused her to do just that.

Finally, he opened his laptop, checked for mail, and saw it. A message from Sara. All his anger flew out the window and his heart beat picked up pace. He tentatively clicked on the message, but there were no words, just an attachment. He opened the video to see Sara's beaming face on what was obviously some kind of ship. As she began to describe her adventure in the Galapagos, he could only look at her in wonder, his face beaming. But, she changed the subject to talk about their relationship.

Before I left you said some things I tried not to hear…..

The good feeling went away, and fast. He found it hard to breathe as he racked his brain trying to remember that conversation. His gut told him this is not something he wanted to hear back, and he was right. He listened through the whole message, but he couldn't comprehend the meaning; it was too shocking.

The phone was ringing, the cell phone chirping, even the beeper, but Grissom ignored all of that. He pressed replay more times than he could count. He kept looking for a clue, a hidden message, something to tell him that her words were not what she really wanted to say. He couldn't find it.

Finally, he couldn't ignore the lab any longer. In fact, Catherine had to respond in his absence. Going to work the case didn't stop the video message from playing in his head, over and over. He had never known such sadness. Even when Sara left her note and left the lab; deep down he never thought she would stay away for good. Now she just told him that was exactly what would happen.

tbc....