Disclaimer: Do not own Twilight

A/N: Hey guys, I guess it's been a while…sorry… Read. Enjoy. Review.

Love Never Fades

Chapter Four – Love Letters

I woke up the next morning I woke up with a leather bound book beside my head. I rolled over and flipped open the cover. All the pages were blank and there was a note from my mother on the front page. It was quick and decisive, explaining to me that it was a journal, which I had realized when I noticed all the pages were blank. She explained to me that she saw that I needed somewhere to put things that were on my mind while Father tried to fill my head with biblical teachings. Mother had always known of my distaste for the church, though we never spoke of it aloud. Mother rather often did things like this and I knew as well as she did to keep it quite from Father or else there would be grave consequences.

I then remembered that Isabella's note was still in my pocket from earlier and I ran to the opposing side of my room to retrieve it there. I grabbed it and put it between my mother's note and the first blank page. And, as the months passed I put each love letter that she gave me into the pages, with their date and occasionally I filled a page with normal journal entries. Though only scarcely as I was generally in bed much later than when sunlight was still viable through my open window, and writing by candle light was always rather irritating to me. Most of them were filled with the loving thoughts that I was feeling for Isabella, and occasionally a hint of irritation at my father.

I was beginning to fill with even more hatred than ever with the life that I had. The only shiny spot in my day was when I passed Isabella's balcony or when she handed me one of her always lovely love letters. It truly lifted my spirits anytime that we were alone, usually by the wharf or behind some of the more important buildings in the village. By late June of that year the leather bound book my mother had given me was bulky and just about full of Bella's letters. There were also a few drawings of her that I had drawn, some of them did her justice, and those I left while others I tore out and threw them into the fire. The truth was that none of my drawings, while they were beautiful, matched up to Isabella's true beauty. To say I was obsessed with her was a remarkable understatement, but she didn't seem to mind too much.

Then the day came that I had been both dreading and longing for, the day her father, Master Swan, announced that his only daughter was matured enough to marry. I dreaded it because I feared that he would pick another suitor that knocked on his door, and I longed for it because for some reason if he did think me suitable, I would be able to court my Isabella in public, no more sneaking around.

That day my Father told me to pray at home and go over to the Swan's household at around noon to be polite. He as well as my mother knew that I desired nothing more to become her husband, not that they knew anything of her and I already being in love. I was sure that no other couple even knew the meaning of love as we did, and I was sure that most thought it ought not to exist. I kept my mouth shut not only because it would be fatal to my chances, but because love was such a strong emotion, unbecoming of the future village Pastor.

At noon mother came into the parlor were I sat in the chair with the bible next to me and my journal, nearly filled with her letters on my lap. I was, according to Father supposed to be reading the story of Jonah for the seventh time trying to figure any other meaning there could possibly be, I knew my correct answer was to be no, and if I has managed to come up with something other than the obvious I would be chastised, so I didn't see the point. She walked through the door as the clock tower rang announcing it to be noon, and I stood up immediately. I had groomed myself well when I had awoken that morning and all my mother did as I got to my feet and tucked my Journal into my bag was run a comb through my hair to make me seem even more groomed.

I walked out the door and up the road until I got to the Master Swan's household. I knocked politely on the door and waited for someone to answer, and to my surprise it was Isabella's mother who did so, usually Isabella's Nursemaid answered the door, or Master Swan himself.

"Ah, yes, how can we be of service to you, Mister Cullen," said Isabella's mother and I smiled politely as I bowed my head neatly.

"I wish to speak to Master Swan," I replied kindly, and she bid me inside, where I saw Isabella sitting in the parlor as we walked through to the Master's Parlor.

She shot me a kind and loving look as she watched her dear cousin play with his marbles on the floor in front of her. Her nursemaid was fusing about, and trying to keep her from the windows, now that she was out in society she would no longer be allowed to wander onto the balcony as she wished like a child. Our rules were silly and I didn't quite get them sometimes, she was no more or less beautiful today than she was the day before.

Her mother led me right to the door outside the Master's Parlor and she knocked sharply once.

"Master Swan," she called kindly, "The Mister Cullen is here to see you."

"Send him in, by all means," I heard Master Swan reply, and he seemed pleased that I was there, so Isabella's mother excused herself and I turned the knob and entered.

"Sir," I said bowing my head immediately upon entering and Master Swan nodded, gesturing to one of the chairs opposite him as he set his book down.

"What is it that you need, young sir?" said Charlie formally, and the look on his face told me that her already knew why I was there.

"I have come in order to ask you whether you would consider myself to court your daughter with the intention of marriage," I replied and when he didn't stop me I continued, "I am nearly finished with my studies and I am in line to take over the church once my father is finished, as you probably are already aware. I am of stable and more than adequate income and I will be able to serve your daughter well with any material item she desires, as well as the caring and watchful eye of a good and solid husband."

There was a long silence in which I was utterly and completely scared blind out of my mind and in which Master Swan just watched me. He seemed to be trying to measure my courage in whether I would say something, but my upbringing told me to keep my mouth shut tight and just wait for him to speak. I had said all that I could.

"Right," He finally said the formal tone gone, "I like you, Cullen, you're a good man. You come from a good family and you seem quite genuine. I like that. I have no doubts that you will be able to take good care of my daughter. You may begin to court her, in the most respectful and dignified ways I am sure. However, I withhold you from any offers of marriage. There are a lot of suitors like yourself that are eager to court Isabella, though you have proven yourself apart, I just want what's best for my daughter, I'll leave the true decision to a little later, do you not agree?"

"Of course sir," I said and he motioned for me to stand.

"Send your father my best."

"I shall."