A/N: This is directly referencing the episode "Raisins", so if you haven't seen that one, I recommend you do, it's very funny.

Title: The Difficulties of Being a Raisins Girl

Pairing: Butters/Lexus

Age: High School

"Hey, sweetie! Welcome to Raisins!" Lexus chirped in her most syrupy voice. "Can I get you a drink to start with?"

"Hey Lexus!" the boy seated at the table exclaimed, looking at her expectantly. He was skinny and awkward looking, with a blonde tuft of hair. "It's me, Butters!"

Lexus looked blankly back at him.

"Your ex-boyfriend," Butters continued. Lexus still wasn't remembering. "Back when we were eight?"

"Of course, sweetie," Lexus covered, pretending she remembered. Butters smiled back at her.

"It's nice to see you again," he said shyly, a blush creeping up his cheeks.

"You too, honey. Now are you ready to order?" Lexus prompted.

"Uh, I'll take some chicken wings."

"Okay, I'll have that right out for you." She gave him a winning smile, relieved him of his menu, and walked back towards the kitchen. Butters watched her walk away, sighing deeply. She was so beautiful.

----

"Hey Mercedes," Lexus said at she passed her fellow Raisins girl.

"Hmm?" Mercedes asked, balancing a platter of hot wings and a pitcher of root beer.

"See that kid over there? That dorky one in the corner?"

"Yeah?"

"He says he's my ex-boyfriend."

"I don't recognize him."

"Neither do I."

"Well, you know," Mercedes said with a sly wink. "That's the hard part of being a Raisins girl."

"What's that?"

"Every boy wants to think you're his girlfriend."

"Eh," Lexus shrugged. "Whatever. It's not like he's going to start stalking me or anything. Besides, he might give me a big tip."

----

The next day, Butters was back in Raisins, sitting at the same table (he wanted to make sure he was in Lexus's section).

"Hey Lexus!" he said brightly when she came over to his table. Lexus sighed inwardly.

"Ready to order, hon?" she responded, giving him her perkiest smile, thinking he'd better give her a damn good tip.

----

"Looks like your little boyfriend is back," Mercedes teased, nodding to the little blonde boy in the back corner. Butters had come in every single day that month. Lexus was beginning to get exasperated. But she took a deep breath, and strolled over to the table, swinging her hips.

"Welcome to Raisins, sweetie," she cooed. "Today's specials are –"

"Lexus," Butters interrupted her in a husky voice. "I want to ask you something."

"What's that sweetie," Lexus asked, her voice tinged with impatience.

"Would you be my girlfriend?"

"Hon, you know I can't date customers, it's against –" Suddenly Butters stood up and grabbed her hands.

"I know we can make it," he said, gazing into her eyes. "Our love is strong enough. I have to go now, but I'll see you tomorrow, my love." And with that, he dashed out the door.

"God dammit!" Lexus angrily stomped the ground, startling the boys at a nearby table. "Oh, sorry guys," she covered quickly, regaining her Raisins voice and mannerisms. "Can I get you anything?" Inside she was fuming. She did not have the time to deal with clingy, disillusioned customers!

----

"You're going to have to go over there at some point," Mercedes reminded her. Once again, Butters had taken up residence in his corner. Another month had passed, and he still thought Lexus was his girlfriend. Lately, he'd taken to showing up with flowers and chocolates, which Mercedes cooed over (which only served to annoy Lexus more).

"I'm going to do something about this," she shot back, her voice tight.

"What?" Mercedes asked in a sing-song voice, enjoying the show.

"I don't know. Something!"

Lexus knew that she should just accept that this was one of the difficulties of being a Raisins girl. Boys were going to fall in love with you. It had happened before, and it would happen again. But this boy… Lexus just couldn't take it anymore. He was so needy. He was so in love with her. It was kind of sad. And maybe, in the deepest depths of her heart, Lexus felt kind of bad for him (although she would never admit it). He really did like her. But she couldn't even remember his name. And she never agreed to be his girlfriend!

And that little, human part of her told her that he deserved someone who actually cared for him. God dammit! Where was that coming from? She was a Raisins girl, taught to play men, and take them for all they were worth. She couldn't actually care about them or their feelings.

She puzzled over it for a long moment. Why was this kid so persistent? He just couldn't take a hint. And she couldn't just be mean to him, that was against Raisins rules – they had to flirt with all the customers. She could say he was harassing her and have him thrown out, but then he might tell his little friends and Raisins might lose business. No, Lexus was going to have to deal with him herself. She walked - no, stormed – over to the corner table where he sat by himself. He was singing under his breath.

"Loo loo loo, I've got some apples. Loo, loo, loo, you've got some – Oh, hey Lexus!" he beamed up at her. Lexus slapped her palm down on the table and leaned close to him, narrowing her eyes. Butters could tell she meant business.

"Look, kid," she practically hissed. "I'll make a deal with you."

"Whatever you want, Lexus darling." Her face twitched when he called her darling.

"Ok, here's the deal: If you promise to never, ever, ever, EVER speak to me again," she took a deep breath. "I'll give you a blow job in the bathroom." There was a long silence. Butters looked up at Lexus, wringing his hands.

"Golly, Lexus, shouldn't we get married first?"

A/N: I LOVE Butters. He is definitely one of my favorite characters, if not my favorite. Poor, naive little Butters. The world is just out to get him. But I still love him! Please review!