Istilldon'townHetaliaorTouhou(I'dlovetothough)
Song: The Unbelievable Alice Assault
Characters: China, Japan, and Russia
Warning: The original song is a rap
Ivan was walking in the shopping center, looking for his friend Yao. His eyes widened when he saw the place where Yao was going to meet him. The two of them were going to sell various trinkets to the shoppers. His hand gripped his vodka tight. He walked up to Kiku who was taking his friend's spot.
"Your tablecloth's off a few centimeters, da~? Why are you going against regulations like this?" He asked with a violent aura surrounding him.
Kiku looked up from his manga and said, "oh… Sorry about that. I'll fix it next time."
"What a half-assed answer. I'm not pleased with that, da."
Ivan knocked some of the trinkets off the table, resulting in quite a few glances from others because of the noise. Kiku looked back up at him with a bored expression.
"What was that about?" He asked.
"What's with your snarky attitude? This is supposed to be a fun place, but it doesn't look like that from your laziness, da~?"
By now, Ivan was smiling his childish smile. Anyone who knew him well enough knew that his smile was generally not a good thing, but Kiku did not get out of his house enough, so Kiku didn't know what was going on.
"Yao and I applied for this shared space. And for your information, I didn't get here from just reading manga. I was dragged out of my library and taken here by Yao. I'd also appreciate you not butting into this thing." Kiku said, expression never changing.
"Hey, what's with that attitude of yours?" Ivan asked.
"That's my line. What's up with yours?"
"No one asked you, da?"
"I don't care."
Now, a crowd formed around the little trinket booth, wondering what the fight was about. Even though no one knew what the two foreigners were saying, they could tell that Kiku was winning the verbal fight. Ivan was breaking down and almost yelling at Kiku, who sat quickly spitting out comebacks with no emotion whatsoever.
"Hey guys~" Another voice said, "sorry that I'm la- Whoa! This doesn't look like normal conversation, aru. Why are you two fighting?"
Ivan pointed an accusing finger at Kiku and asked, "Hey, what're you doing, applying for shared spaces?"
"Was I supposed to tell you?" Yao asked with an innocent face.
"Awhile ago, you asked to do a collab with me, da? Why are you pairing up with this shut-in?"
Kiku made his way into the chat. "Hey, I hear you're spouting quite a lot of rude things over here, saying whatever you want. I'll have you know that I wanted no part in this. But you had to be all *mocking tone* So scary. So annoying. Whatever shall I do? *normal tone* What's with you and pressuring other people out here? Don't you realize that?"
Yao stood in front of his two bickering friends, speechless. They kept spouting all these mean things, worse than the last.
"What's with your attitude, da?"
"That's my line. What's with yours?"
"I can't just take this."
"I can't take this anymore."
Yao decided to butt in and said, "You guys, aru… don't be fighting. Fighting is never good, aru. As fellow friends, we should respect each other's space, aru~. See? I said something good!"
Kiku retorted, "You have a good point there, but, see this book? It has half of its pages missing, I should know, I just finished it."
"Eh?"
"What, Yao, you really did that? Is that why everyone says you steal things, da? (1)"
"No! I- I was just borrowing it, aru."
Ivan and Kiku cried out, "That's not the point! Geez."
"What's with that, da?"
"I agree, what's with him?"
"I can't just let that go."
"I really can't take this anymore."
It was then that Yao's two best friends turned on him. They kept asking what the heck he was doing, going around and stealing things.
(1)- Well… Remember the Hetalia episode where China wants to help Japan with some electronic making… things? And then Japan started lecturing China on copyrighted things like that. So, that's where I got China being a thief.