Never Let Go

Author: SouthamptonRose

Summary: After the devastating sinking of Titanic, Rose struggles to keep going. Her life seems pointless and every day is a battle. But then a surprise changes everything and gives her the strength to keep heading for the horizon. Pure J/R goodness!

Disclaimer: Again, I do not own Jack Dawson or Rose Dewitt Bukater, and again, JAMES IS MINE!!! NO ONE CAN EVER HAVE HIM!!! maniacal laughter

Rose opened her eyes. The sky was still dark, but it was beginning to lighten. She took a deep breath. Today is the day, she thought. The day I finally come home.

A light rain began to fall, and Rose pulled her blanket around her neck. She looked next to her and saw that James was still asleep. His hat was pulled down over his eyes, and his hands were tucked behind his head. She smiled. They had spent the rest of the day talking until they were so exhausted they had just fallen asleep. Rose still wouldn't tell James any more about Jack, but she did tell him about her life in Pennsylvania.

She had learned that James' mother had died of typhoid very recently, and his father had been dead since he was very young. He had had a hard time trying to find work in London, because no one wanted to hire a poor, inexperienced boy, so he had gone to Southampton when his friend had told him about voyages to America. There he had found a job on the Carpathia, and was promised a passage to the Free Land. And so there he was now, still poor and inexperienced, but he was going to America.

Rose got up and walked over to the railing. She couldn't see the water because it was too dark, but she could hear it. It wasn't as calm as it had been yesterday, and there was a loud pounding every time a wave crashed against the ship. Rose closed her eyes. She loved the sound of the sea; it always used to calm her when she was little. She remembered the first time her mother and father had taken her to the Atlantic Ocean. Her father had had business in Charleston, South Carolina, so her mother had taken her for a beach walk while her father worked. She would never forget the feel of the water between her toes that first time. It was amazing.

Rose jumped slightly when a hand was put on her shoulder. She turned around and saw James, his eyes still heavy with sleep. "Hey what's wrong?"

She sighed. "Nothing, nothing. Just enjoying the ocean."

He raised his eyebrows. "That you can't even see?"

She laughed. "I mean the sound of it, stupid."

He laughed. "Alright, alright…don't you want more sleep?"

She shook her head. "I'm fine right now, thank you."

He shrugged. "Okay, I have to go…morning duties." He made a face. "I'll see you later Rose."

"Bye." She gave him a quick hug before he walked away into the darkness. She turned back out to the sea. Though she couldn't see it, she liked to imagine what it looked like. Large black waves slapping the firm metal of the Carpathia; possibly a bird or two skimming the water, hoping to find an early morning fish.

Rose yawned. She was tired, James was probably right; she should get more sleep, but she just didn't feel like it. She wandered aimlessly around the deck for about fifteen minutes wondering what she should do. She eventually decided she was hungry enough to get some breakfast. She started for the small third-class galley.

She pushed open the door with slight difficulty and stepped inside. Only a few people were seated at the small wooden tables and a few crewmen were running around bringing them porridge. The room also smelled strongly of coffee, making Rose's mouth water. She had grown quite fond of coffee over the past few days. It had a much more pleasing taste than the bland tea her mother had always forced her to drink.

Rose gave a slight jolt when she recognized one of the crewmen as James. So this is where he works, she thought amusedly. "James!"

James turned around looking for the person that had called him. When he saw Rose he smiled. "Morning Miss Rose," he said politely.

She laughed. "I just saw you not twenty minutes ago!"

He shrugged. "I know."

She walked over to him. "So this is where you work? You're not a sailor at all!"

He shrugged again. "I actually don't really know what I am and what I'm not. Some days I work here in the galley, others I'm out on deck. I even got to be a lookout once!"

"Really?" She looked at him curiously.

He nodded vigorously. "Oh yes, it was most extraordinary…but I am a little scared of heights though, so I only lasted about an hour."

Rose laughed. "So, you mind bringing me something to eat?"

"Not at all Miss," he said, standing as straight as he could. "May I escort you to a table?" He held out his arm to her. She hesitated slightly. All this was a cruel reminder of Jack, and she was afraid she wouldn't be able to hide her sadness much longer. She looked at him with a desperate glint in her eyes. He didn't understand, and thought that she wasn't willing to take his arm. He dropped it quickly and looked down at his shoes. "Oh…sorry Rose, I know you're perfectly capable…I'll just…" He started walking towards the kitchen.

"Wait." Rose grabbed his shirt sleeve. "No, you don't understand…it's just…well…" She bit her lip and looked up at him; her large green eyes reflecting her constantly changing feelings.

It took him a minute, but then James seemed to get it. "Oh…does this have something to do with that Jack?"

Rose was taken aback by his simplicity on the matter. "That Jack? Excuse me, his name is Jack, not That Jack...and as a matter of fact it does."

Realizing his mistake, James hastily tried to make up for it. "I'm sorry; here let me bring you some coffee, I'm sure you'd like it." He gently took her arm and started guiding her towards a nearby table.

Rose shook off his grasp and folded her arms. "I beg your pardon?"

He smiled. "Aww…come on Rose, I know you won't stay mad at me for long; I'm sorry, okay?"

"No, not okay," she snarled. "Don't presume to tell me what I will and will not do. You don't…" She trailed off, realizing her words were the same ones she had yelled at Jack the night they first met. Feeling her eyes filling with tears, she ran out of the galley, leaving James inside, wondering what it was he had done.

Rose collapsed on her bench and began to cry. She had tried to hold it in, but she couldn't any longer. It was overwhelming. James was too much like Jack; it was killing her. She liked him, he was entertaining and free, but she couldn't bear to be around him. She loved Jack too much; any reminder of him was too painful. She needed him; she didn't know how she would make it alone. She cried for him, for their love, and for her miserable life. She cried because, just as she had promised, she would never be able to let go.

(A/N:) Oh dear...James and Rose had a fight. Hmm...not one of my favorite chapters in particular...but that's just me. What do you think? ;)