Looks like I'm loosing people....Ack, explanation comes up in the third paragraph! And it's short for now because it's nearing Christmas Break and my teachers are shoving in all the homework they can before we disappear for two weeks. :)

Usual disclaimers apply.

Somehow, Adrian had moved us along into Anastasia's room and then disappeared. Lissa gave him a glare as he closed the door behind him.

"Can we have a little explanation here? Because our tour guide just took his lunch break," Christian said, a ton of force in his voice. Anastasia was seated at her desk, tapping away at the keyboard on a laptop, and she swiveled around to look at us. She pulled her glasses off and rubbed her eyes.

"Accident with a magnifying glass and the sun, third grade," she explained quickly. Her voice slowed down considerably. "Um, sure, I guess. Bu you all have to not say anything, got it?"

A murmur of agreement rippled through the group.

"So," Anastasia started. "You guys now know about-" She motioned towards Dimitri and I. Several heads turned and looked at us.

"Yay-ers. So anyway, you know that rescue mission that is about to happen? Yeah, it doesn't work out so great for Dimitri. This Strigoi guy, Nathan, basically takes him and turns him. Awful, right? A month and shit load of events later, my mom, Rose, is dropping back in to St. Vlad's because she just got back from a failed mission to go kill my dad. She heard from her father - yes, Janine, I know him, too-" She looked to a blushing Janine.

"Whose name is Abe." Anastasia kept going like she had this memorized. "He told my mom about this guy who supposedly saved a Strigoi. Skip forward about a year, and Rose ended up finding the guy who did his weird voodoo spirit magic with the help of Sydney, an alchemist my mom met in St. Petersburg. Something minor goes wrong, so my dad ends up turning into a Moroi, hence why Sydney calls him 'the freak'. My mom, dad, and a bunch of now family friends, including Lissa, Christian, and Adrian, all go out to celebrate at a, shocker, nightclub-bar type thing. And I'm sure we all know what happens when certain people get drunk."

An awkward silence pressed in on everyone as we filled in the blanks.

"But, anyway, when I was born, my dad was pretty much disgraced slash ready to be exiled, so he figured that since my mother was not even twenty yet, that he would raise me and let my mom build her career and all that other mushy stuff he said to her when I was born. That's the Cliff Notes version, mind you." She tilted her head to the side. "Any questions?"

"How do you talk so fast?" Eddie asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Practice," Anastasia threw back. "Any others? No? Good, 'cause I've got a readership to please." She turned around to her laptop.

"Readership?" Janine asked, speaking for all of us.

"I am the wonderfully unknown famous author of Sucks To Be You?, the leading media outlet for adolescents and teens around the world. All I have to do is cryptically rant about random things, like the whole bit with my current living slash parental situation or world hunger. Y'know, things teens can actually relate to." She talked and typed at the same time, putting her glasses back on.

"World hunger?" Lissa mouthed. Christian just shrugged in response.

"Well, there was just that one post about world hunger because I happened to be hungry at that moment. This week's topic is about, shocker, one parent trying to act like they fit in to your life, when you've only recently met them. Pretty sweet shit, if you ask me. And yes, talking quickly and typing even faster is another ninja skill I have developed over the years."

"Do you ever sleep?" Dimitri asked.

"In fact, I do. It is just that, whenever I am awake, I move at a million miles an hour, and my brain just slighty quicker than that. Sometimes, I will speak in sentence fragments, my mind is zooming along so fast." She paused her rapid typing and then tapped her foot against the dark hardwood floor. She punched in a few more buttons and then muttered, "I think that's good. You guys want to read it?"

For speaking like she was about to become mute the next second, her English was rather precise and she hardly used contractions. That was the amazing part.

We all sort of looked at each other and then crowded around her. Anastasia adjusted the screen and page layout so it was all on one page. "It is a little on the Larry side, but whatever. I guess that is what I am doing in the first place." She didn't elaborate on who Larry was.

So how was your Monday? Mine was complete crap, to say the least. Normally I'd go on, but I'm not in the mood to talk about how I got to sit around and get yelled at by my mother for not doing *extra* chores.

I am, however, in the mood to talk about my mother. Well, as you all know, I don't consider the PMSing bitch to be my mother - I don't really consider myself to have ever had had a maternal person in my life - but for all intents and purposes, she's my mother for this post. Yippee! Moving on.

You all can sit on your kitchen counters (you know, the ones that are used as a dumping ground by your parents), can't you? Apparently I'm not allowed to. So I get yelled at by my mother to get off the fucking counter. (Minus the curse word; that's me getting it out of my system.) Are you, though? Let me know in the comments. Im curious to know. ;)

And, of course, no short-lived fight would ever be complete without the loving, yet stern, lecture from the daddio. Don't get me wrong - I love my dad. He's the only reason I haven't run off on my own; much unlike my mother. But I digress.

So the talk is filled with the usual stuff. Be nice, accept your mother, try to tolerate her and her rules, yadda yadda yadda. Don't you just hate it when parents try to force the other parent on you? Like, seriously. It drives me insane sometimes.

On a final note, the wedding's in two weeks! I'm not telling anyone where because the last thing I need are my personal Internet stalkers taking on the new, fun role of wedding crashers. The movie, by the way, is hilarious. :) But don't worry - I'll be posting my Photoshopped pictures afterward, with the bitch purposefully looking horrible. If I'm in a good mood, a few pictures will go untainted.

Remember, hug your brother, eat a banana, light a sweater on fire, and stick a ShamWOW! towel down your best friend's pants.

"That was..." Lissa trailed off, unsure of what to say.

"Interesting," Alberta supplied, standing up straight.

"Yes, yes it was." Janine crossed her arms. "So you don't feel any positive emotions for Rose?"

Anastasia snorted. "You're one to talk." She clicked a few links, and then the black, red, and purple layout of her blog sat on the screen with the new post gracing the top of the screen underneath the words "Think it Sucks To Be You? Well, think again!" in big, black font.

A fist pounded on the door before a gangly, miniature version of Eddie sauntered in.

"Belikov," he greeted, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

"Castile," Anastasia threw back, confirming my theory. "Meet the eighteen-year-old version of your father." She waved her hand in the direction of Eddie.

"Howdy," he said, waving a hand in a semi-arc in the air. "New post up?"

"Just posted it," Anastasia said proudly, opening up her e-mail. "Your mother stressed from playing Let's Take Rose's Place yet?"

The boy nodded. "And we all know how she deals with stress."

"Do not tell me she blew your basement up again with those crazy alchemist concoctions of hers."

"Maybe."

"David!" Anastasia yelped. She blushed and lowered her voice. "You filthy little liar."

David shrugged. "Quite possibly. But then again, it could be the truth."

"I am putting money on that it is a well placed and slightly convincing lie to get your girlfriend to think that your boring life has some action in it." Anastasia smirked at David.

"I'm touched you can read me that well." David feigned mock hurt and dramtically put a hand over his heart, flopping on Anastasia's bed.

"Speaking of toasters, what are you doing here?" Anastasia switched the subject oddly and it recieved a few chuckles from Eddie and I.

"Your mom invited mi familia over to your casa for dinner."

"As if we need to spend more money on pizza. Your Spanglish needs a ton of help, FYI."

"I realize that," David said, sitting up and kissing Anastasia on the side of her forehead. "My mother seems to think that it's annoying."

"If I was just your best friend, then I would have kicked your ass into a brick wall and said, 'Hell yes your mother is right'."

"You're a great grilfriend, you know that?" David teased, pulling Anastasia's chair closer and burying his face in her hair. "Strawberry. Any important events coming up?"

"Not within the next week. I was just stressed earlier. Strawberries and coconuts help me relax, you know that."

David just smiled, pulled away, and then made for the door. "I'm going to go round up the halfies. You coming?"

"Gimme a sec," Anastasia said impatiently, waving her hand dismissively. David slipped out of the room.

"Boyfriend?" I asked, bumping her shoulder with my hip. She blushed in a very Janine-like way.

"So? I may only be turning fourteen tomorrow, but that doesn't mean I am completely clueless about guys. Besides, David and I connected extremely quickly when my father first moved over here. I had a few crushes back in Saint Petersburg, just so you know."

"Ah," I said with all-knowing tone.

"Shut up!" Anastasia pleaded playfully, swatting me harmlessly. "I think I smell the pizza. C'mon. I have not eaten since, oh, God, eight in the morning. Last one there doesn't get seconds."

Lissa repeated what Anastasia had just said.

"Oh, believe me." Anastasia winked at us. "If you aren't assertive and just let the others walk over you, you'll go to sleep hungry. Don't be afraid to get your elbows covered in tomato sauce."

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