Chapter 4.
Faking.
When Phil steped into Dans hospital room Dan put fake smile on his lips.
-Phil! Hi. – Dan said in fake cheerful voice.
-Dan!-Phil come and stoped infront his hospital bed.
-I am so glad you finaly woke up. It was terrible seeing you like this. – Phil said sitting down streching his hand out to take Dans but Dan put his hands around himself in protective way.
-Yeah. Well tomorow i am going home so everything is alright. I see you got new boyfriend. A? Did you met him in club the day befour? Befour i pass out to koma or whatever?-Dan asked changing subject toward Phil and the man he have kissed right infront Dan.
-Boyfriend? You mean Alex? – Phil was little confused.
-Yes. That man you kissed right outside my hospital room door. You two look cute together. So how did you two met? And how long have you been dating?-Dan asked taking sip from his watter glass which nurse have put next to him.
-Alex isn't my boyfriend. We met when i called an ambulance about you. He is doctor. He err hepled me a lot these days. –Phil said little uncomfortable.
-a Doctor? Good catch.-Dan said putting glass down.
-Em... thanks...? i guess... Dan? That what happened befour you passed out... i wanted...- Phil started but Dan cut him off.
-What happened? I don't remember a damn thing. – Dan laughed out. – Last thing i remember was you going out to cub or something and i stayed home to edit new video.-
-What...? –Phil asked without believing his own hearing.
-Doctor said that it's amnesia or something. Nothing special. Can happen when you woke from koma or how that shit was called.-Dan said in cassual voice without letting to be seen how much he hurt himself telling these lies.
But Dan needed to protect Phil.
Phil have found perfect man. Dan didn't want to be the one who scerw it all for hisself happines.
Dan was used to be unhappy and broken. It was time to come back down from cloud nine. Back to reality. Dans reality.
-That... i... i will be back... –Phil got up and run out of Dans hospital room.
He wan't able to sit there seeing that all his life he have seen have fallen apart.
Phil end up in Alex open arms. In Alex comfort giving kisses and touch. Phil end up letting himself to forget about Dan simply fucking him out of his minds.
Alex was happy that Phil wanted him. And more than happy to fuck with Phil again.
Alex understand how much Phil needed him right now even if he was just fixer in a way to forgething.
Dan sit in his hospital bed all alone. He felt alone but he wasn't alone. All his old friends – demons come back one by one.
Dan wished for death that night.
But nothing was so simple. He needed to suffer more befour he could go stright into death.
Dan woke up really early waiting for nurses to come and let him go home.
He was happy to be outside hospital.
While he take a drive to home he log into his twitter to see all worried fans.
Dan didn't need reminder of what happened. He remember everything. And he wish he could actually have amnesia.
Dan hit little video button and record little video for fans letting them know that everything is fine. Well at least everything.
-Hey. I am sorry about last livestream. I had eaten something bad so yeah. Now i am back and new video is coming when i get home. And if you will be lucky enough than new livestream tonight. Bye.-
Dan put his phone down and looked up on his and Phils appartment windows.
He took couple deep breaths and went upstairs.
Phil said he will be back but he didn't come back the previos day.
But what ever. He must be into his loving boytoy arms.
Dan steped into silent apartment feeling happy that he is alone in it.
But right then from Phils bedroom come out Alex in nothing more than boxers.
-O,Daniel. You are home. Phil didn't say that you will be home today. I am Alex.- Alex strech out his hand to Dan right when Phil comed out of his bedroom in Dans boxers.
-Phil, you know that these are my boxers, right?-Dan said in little annoyed tone.
He didn't care if Phil wear his clothes. But he didn't like when he did that while together with Alex.
-And open the damn window or all flat smells of your sex.-Dan said now fully angry and went into his own bedroom slamming doors shut.
He hate these mood swings but he couldn't just watch them calmly doing nothing.
Dan sit into his bed and upload his video.
At least he will give fans what they waited for.
And little evil idea come to Dans mind.
Why couldn't he ruin the little bubble of happines for them?
-Join me on livestream. We will talk about everything you want to know!-Dan tweeted with link to his livestream.
He casually sit there answering some innocent questions till someone asked where is Phil.
-Phil? Well he is having breakfasts right now. I could show you how happy he is right now. And he is not alone.-Dan stand up holding his computer infront of himself.
He went stright to kitchen where right in that moment Alex have standed up and hold his arms around Phils naked torso and kissed him.
-Nice show, guys. Only remember next time to put on some clothes because you don't live alone here.-Dan said turning around letting computer camera film Phil and Alex more till he was gone in his room.
-So yeah, guys. That's what Phil is doing these past days. Hope you enjoy this little show of him and hm what was his name? Alex if i am corect.-Dan sain in sartistic tone.
He read how everyone was blowed up by what they just saw.
-Okay, okay. Stop. I don't wanna hear any damn thing about them two.-Dan said in annoyed tone.
Little knock was heared against Dans bedroom doors.
Phil opened them.
-Can you just shut it down so we can talk?-He asked with his head poking out Dans bedroom doors.
-Okay.-Dan turned around.-So guilty Philly wants to talk. See ya later guys.-Dan ended his livestream.
Dan turned around and Phil steped into his bedroom.
-So about what do you wanna talk?-Dan asked little annoyed and tired.
-About what you just did. You can't do things like that,Daniel.-Phil said in little angry voice.
-Oh sorry miss innocent.-Dan snaped back.
-What the hell is going on with you?-Phil asked coming closer to Dan.
Dan stand up all angry.
-What is wrong with me? Don't you dare to start this shit over again. You know what is wrong and you know whay i did what i did. You know it all, Phil. So don't you dare to ask me what is wrong. Ask that to yourself. And now get the hell out of my bedroom. Go and please your horny boytoy.-Dan said in all sassy angry manier.
Phil was taken aback.
-You said you don't remember a damn thing about what happned.-Phil felt confused.
-I lied! People lie Phil! Get over it! It's life! –Dan said sitting down.
-Why did you do that?-Phil asked close to tears.
-Because look at you. You choose him over me. And i don't wanna be just simple replacement,Phil. Not any more. You are happy with him. I see it and i respect it.-Dan said without looking at Phil. He hold his own tears.
-You have never been replacement to me. You always have been my first choice. Why don't you understand it?-Phil said with tears in his eyes.
-Phil, please, don't make this harder than it already is.-Dan said turning around without control over his tears.
Phils heart start to break seeing how broken and sad Dan is right in front of him and because of him.
Phil get down in front of Dan and cup his face in his hands looking stright into his eyes.
-Dan... - He tried to start.
-Don't. Just don't. –Dan said griping Phils hands and pushing them away.
-Dan... – Phil cried out.
-No. Just no. –Dan shake his head with tears streaming down his cheeks.
-Please... –Phil begged him and tried to get hold of Dans arms.
- I said NO! GET OUT OF MY FUCKING ROOM OR I WILL GET OUT! – Dan stand up looking down on Phil.
-Dan, please... we can sort this out. We can make it work. –Phil begged.
-Okay. You chose. I am going. – Dan walk past Phil without any emotions showing and simpy walked out the doors.
He heard Phil called behind him but he ignore it and just walk away.
Dan was so broken. He could feel sharp pices of himself cutting him more and more with every breath he take. With every heart beat he felt.
But he didn't show anything. He simply continue walking fighting his own inside battle.
Phil was left into Dans room all alone. He felt so sad. So hurt.
He didn't understand why Dan keep pushing him away.
He wanted to understand all Dans reasons.
That's why he got up and tried his best to hold himself together.
Phil waited Dan to come home.
In all these years he have learned that he need to give Dan a space to think.
But he didn't know what a big mistake he have done with doing so.
Dan sit in the park bench with shot in his hand. He looked down at it. It wasn't much. But it was enough for two dose.
Dan rool up his sleeve and push sharp needle into his vein. He look carefull to shot only half of it all. He didn't want to over dose. Well he wanted but not so much to actually do it now.
He watched how sun shine and all happy families played around in park while he was alone.
Dan stand up and walk around the park till drugs finaly kicked in.
Dan saw cinema and felt need to go there. He sit down and watch some catroon that just come out. Dan sit there laughing and crying. And he loved the story behind it.
After little cartoon it was already starting to get dark.
Dan smile at himself about little idea he got.
He went to club.
And for couple hours Dan forget all his problems. All he cared was the music playing and alcahol shots passing around.
He flirt with everyone who flirt with him.
Everything was so funny. And Dan thank the drugs and little bit of alcahol for it.
One boy took Dans hand after some flirting and led him to rest room.
He led Dan into one stall and closed the doors.
Dan smiled at the boy not knowing who he was.
The boy smiled back and kneeled down starting to unbutton Dans jeans.
Dan looked at him questioning.
But boy just smiled and slip Dans jeans and boxers down.
Dan still didn't understand what the boy was trying to do.
But right than the boy suck him into his mouth.
Pleasure explod in Dans body. It was what he needed. Hot mouth around his trobling dick. Simple relise from all stres he have had in past days.
It have been too long since last time Dan had an orgasm. So with this he was so tensed. He tried to hold his moans in. He griped the boys hair in his hand guiding him to the right places.
Dan let his head fall backward when orgasm hit him with hard waves of pleasure.
After that boy simply got up licking his lips and smiling.
Dan put his jeans back on and smile to the boy simply giving him little peck on cheek.
Dan went back to dancing floor with more energy than befour.
With that he understand what he need to put himself back in places.
Dan dance around looking for somene to katch his eyes.
And he got one.
It was girl with brown hair till sholder blades. With black jeans on and simple tank top. She looked so casual between all make up wores dancing around.
Girl katch Dans look and smile a bit.
Dan smile back and went to the girl. He led her to the back sitting down and simply starting to chat with her.
Noel was her name. Dan liked it. It sound cool.
And she was really funny and nice but sarcastic in the right places.
She was like Dans female version.
And Dan loved it.
He really started to like this girl.
-Do you wanna come to my place? – Dan asked with little smile on his lips.
- You mean, like now? – She asked starting to smile.
- Yes. – Dan said looking into bright brown eyes.
-Lets go. – Noel smiled and get up.
Dan felt so cheerfull that Noel wanted to go with him back to his flat.
He hold his arm around her waist while getting back home.
And the whole way to home they laugh about meening less things.
Dan opened doors for her without taking his eyes of her.
Dan led her through the flat to the bedroom.
-Can i, please, get a glass of water? – Noel asked looking like innocent baby angel.
- Of course you can. Lets go to the kitchen. – Dan smiled and led her to the kitchen giving her a glass full of watter.
Dan drink glass of watter himself while watching Noel doing the same.
And when they put glasses away he take her close to himself and kissed her. Noel answered to the kiss imediatly pushing her hand into Dans hair. Dan get her up into his arms and without breaking the kiss he carried her to his bedroom falling into his bed with Dan on top of Noel.
She let Dan do everything he wanted. And Dan just need it all.
He lost himself in pleasure of sex togethe with drugs and alcahol.
After another orgasm he felt more hight than just from drugs.
Dan didn't open his eyes after they fall shut when orgasm hit him. He simply lay on his back enjoying how good he felt.
He felt happy to feel hot body presing against his side and wraping it's arms around him.
After so long Dan fall asleep with careless smile playing on his lips.