Surviving Misery
Chapter 4
About an hour later, House was getting into Cuddy's car, sitting in the passenger seat. Cuddy got into the driver side and immediately started up the car. Cuddy only lived ten minutes away from the hospital and he refused for it to be filled with awkward silence. House didn't like small talk so he thought he should ask a question that he could benefit from.
"How did you deal with your brother's death?"
Cuddy waited a minute before responding to the question, "The truth? Well, I didn't deal with it well. After I got out of the hospital, I became self-destructive. I quickly moved out of my parents house, and got my own apartment. I couldn't bear the thought of them looking at me and thinking that I had killed him. They said that they never thought like that, but I knew that they did. I mean if Scott didn't get in the car with me that day, he wouldn't have died. And I had and still have to live with that. I began to drink obsessively to the point that all I could think about was where the next bar was. I would drink and drink and drink, in hopes that I would forget what I had done, but I didn't. The only problem was that no matter how much I would drink, I couldn't get rid of his memory. I moved on to barbiturates, hoping if I was asleep I wouldn't think about him. Instead I had nightmares about the accident. There was no escape."
Cuddy had tears streaming down her face, but continued driving.
"So how did you escape?" House asked curiously.
"Well one night, I was so strung out on barbiturates and alcohol that I decided to try a new tactic. I wanted to kill myself. So I got the gun from my best friend's dresser drawer, and I sat down next to the window. I put the gun to my head, and placed my finger on the trigger. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes. Before I could pull the trigger, I was pushed into the floor and the gun was no where to be found. My best friend at the time had tackled me to the floor, and stripped me of my weapon. I broke down, and began crying uncontrollably. She never left my side after that. The next day she made me see a psychiatrist, who diagnosed me with depression and prescribed me anti-depression pills. Six months later, I stopped taking the pills, and went to Scott's grave. I made amends with him, and then dedicated my life to helping people. Which is why I became a doctor."
"Does his memory still haunt you?"
"I still think about him. I'm reminded of him all the time, but it doesn't haunt me. The only day that bothers me is -"
"The day of the accident. March 24."
"How did you know that?"
"You hardly ever miss work. You only miss work a few times a year. But you miss March 24, consecutively every year. Even when we were at Michigan, you missed that day. I knew it was linked to a painful event, I had no idea it was your brother. I just put the pieces together." House explained.
"I don't talk about Scott much to anyone, not even to my parents. Why did you want to know how I dealt with his death?" Cuddy asked as she parked her car in her driveway.
"You went through a similar event as me, and you seemed to be okay with what had happened. I wanted to know how you did it, because I am going through it now. I guess I just wanted hope that one day, I ... I won't hate myself." House replied, his voice cracking.
Cuddy gently placed her hand on his, and squeezed lightly.
"You'll get through this Greg. With time the pain will dull, and the hatred will fade. But you don't have to go through it alone, I'll be here for you."
Cuddy didn't give him a chance to reply, and got out the car. She went around to the passenger's side of the car, and helped House get out of the car.
A/N: Sorry guys for how late I got this chapter published. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Please review and thank you. Hope to get next chapter up by next week. Oh yeah I forgot to put a disclaimer so here it is:
Disclaimer: I do not own House md or any of it's characters. They are David Shore's creations. I only borrowed them.