~*~Chapter 4 Freedom for the Pawn~*~
Sunlight hits my eyes, and I open them slowly. For a moment I can't even remember who I am. My head feels completely empty. Then it all crashes down on me, burning lumps of realization.
Molor!
He raises his head as I sit straight up and look down at him.
'Why?'
I can hardly produce the mere thought.
He doesn't give me the answer in words, but by giving me a piece of his own memory. I see my own mind's shocked look through his eyes, feel his hate for his own actions; the actions he had to go through with. He gives me the knowledge that he has done what he can about Charash's gift, even though it's strictly forbidden. He doesn't tell me why it's forbidden or how he could know how to cure it just a little bit. But I now know that he had to drive my mind out of my soul and place me in a suspended mode so that he could work on the infection. He has no regrets, but he's definitely not proud. It took him a lot of strength to attack me, so much that I'm amazed that he managed. For him it was like committing suicide.
He takes his experiences back again after showing them to me.
My trust in him weakened for a moment.
He knows. He understand.
It won't happen again. But...
'What is gift?' I ask him.
'Done too much,' he says, bitterly, 'no tell. Forgive.'
At first I don't answer him. But in the end I have to accept his will.
'Yes.'
'Thank.'
He's done what he can. I don't know what he has done or why he can't tell me the whole story, but I have to trust him. I never warned him when Flea and Slash unveiled my progress growing to Magus, forcing him, as well as Schala, Cered and Glenn through a painful shock. But he never accused me for not giving him a smoothening warning. We have to trust each other.
There's a knock on the door.
"Janus, art thee awake?" Glenn's voice call, "Schala wanted me to tell thee that the breakfast is awaiting."
"We're coming," I answer and hear his footsteps leave on the other side of the wood.
Slowly I rise from the bed, all the time watching Molor from the corner of my eye. He watches me too. But we don't say anything to each other. There's nothing to say.
I take my cloak and wrap it around my neck. Yes, I do sleep in my clothes. And I do have things to change to now and then.
But I seldom remove the leather plates that cover my scars. You should understand my reasons.
Molor follows me down to the kitchen. Only my niece and my sister are there. Schaliya smiles broadly as she sees the two of us, and she sends a piece of bread flying through the room. My kindred spirit catches and swallows it. That's another thing that's a bit peculiar about him; he eats human food. As far as I know, snakes normally only eat things they have killed themselves.
I silently sigh. My trust in him is still damaged; I'm even wondering about his normal behavior. But I have to accept what he think is the right thing to do.
And considering his behavior... I doubt that anything could be my kindred spirit and completely normal.
"Good morning, Janus," Schala says, trying to smile even though she obviously is worried, "you're a bit late..."
"I'm fine, Schala," I calmly say.
I don't know what it is that Charash have planted in me, and I don't want to scare her nor Schaliya. Maybe when I know what's happening I can tell my sister... at least something. Schala will hopefully understand and keep from asking anything further.
"How's the village doing today?" I ask, absentmindedly reaching for the small basket of bread.
"Rebuilding," Schala answers, "Glenn is helping healer Taron to take care of the injured ones. And
Cered is working with the buildings together with almost everyone."
I could say something about that there's no real point with rebuilding, because Charash will come
back to destroy even more. But they'll rebuild anyhow, and I don't really want to plant any feeling of
hopelessness.
"I think somebody should be on watch out for Charash," Schala says, "maybe that's something that
you could take care of."
I shrug my shoulders. Why not...
"Very well."
A short while later I leave the house, just after eating a piece of bread. The whole population of the
town are out to work on the damage. I see Cered over by Shadarak's wasted house.
Being on "watch out for the dragon"? Have you no pride left at all?
Shut up, Magus.
"Powers of the world, lend me the power of wind," I mutter.
Call forth.
Strong.
Carry.
Molor disappears into my cloak as it begins to flap in a sudden whirlwind. My feet leave the
ground and I float up high above the trees surrounding the village. From up there I can see miles
around. There's almost nothing but forest to the east and north, cut through by broader roads. To the
east are hills, and to the south is the ocean. And Charash went to the north.
I really doubt he'll return today, but it's best to stay on guard.
Molor says nothing. Neither do I.
As I float high above everything else, I can't help starting to think about my dreamed life. I missed
one night of it thanks to Molor. Even though his attack was far much worse than my dreams...
Come on, Frog. Come! Take care of that Magus' miserable existence!
I have enough to do in the real world.
No enormous body passes the sky, and after a couple of hours I cannot keep up the wind-spell any
longer. Slowly I return to the world. Molor does the same.
Schaliya is sitting on the bench by the wall of Schala and Cered's house, swinging her short legs
and silently touching her right ear with her fingers. As I come closer with Molor by my side she looks
up for a moment, smiles hesitantly and then looks down again. I sit down by her side. She keeps
swinging her legs and examining her ear. My kindred spirit silently lies down on the ground.
None of us say anything for a while.
Then Schaliya suddenly realizes that I've grabbed her hand, the one that was by her ear. She looks
up at me. I look back.
"Well?" I say.
"Why are my ears strange?" she asks.
Sometimes she is able to at least partly leave the way of speaking that is used by the people here
and talk as I and Schala usually do. My sister has begun to become more and more influenced by
Cered at times. I fight my battle to stay civilized.
Irrelevant.
"It's your ears," I say, "there's nothing strange about them."
She pushes her hair away with her free hand, revealing the pointy ear.
"But Sean said that they art not normal," she says.
Note to me; one boy with webbed feet ordered.
"You shouldn't care about what Sean says," I gravely tell Schaliya, "you should never care when
anyone says something like that."
I point at my own ears, which my hair is unable to hide.
"I have the same kind of ears as you, and your mother too."
"But thee are the only ones," she says, "and father does not carry such ears."
"In the time from which me and your mother come, almost everyone had these kind of ears."
"Why then?"
I lean back against the wall.
"The people back then used magic everyday, and that changed us," I explain, "it's just like it is with
my eyes being red."
"Art we half-elves?" she wonders.
I shake my head.
"Elves only exist in fairytales. At least on this planet. They might very well exist in other worlds."
After all, Charash was also a fairytale for all that everyone knew until now...
"Why would you wonder about that?" I ask her.
Schaliya seems relieved.
"So we don't snatch babies, then?" she says.
I raise one eyebrow.
"Did Sean tell you that too?" I ask.
"No..."
She looks at her swinging legs.
"Anar and Garod did."
"And they were together with Sean when they said it, didn't they?" I say, emotionless.
She nods.
"Any others?"
"No."
"Humph."
"Uncle Janus?"
"Yes?"
She looks up at me, gravely.
"Could thee turn them into tadpoles? Just for a while?"
I am well aware that my lips are twitching.
She knows that I can use magic, but it's the first time she ever asked me to do it for her. And
something like that? Tsk, tsk... and somehow it's still innocent. "Just for a while".
"I could," I say, "but I'm afraid that your mother would be angry with both of us."
"Oh."
She looks at her legs again.
"'Tis too bad."
"Yes," I nod.
I release her hand.
"Of course," I say with the shadow of a smile, "I am able to turn them into anything. But
they don't know that I don't want to anger your mother."
She looks up at me and grins, catching my point. I send a small smile back at her.
"The next time anyone picks on you, come to me or your parents immediately, understand?" I say,
"because nobody is going to think that they are any better than you just because they are a couple of
years older and have plain ears."
Her smile dies and she turns back to her legs.
"They will just call me a crybaby..." she mumbles.
"Then let them call you that," I say, "what others think of you isn't that important."
She looks a bit puzzled.
"But should I not bother what thee and mother and father thinks of me, then?" she asks me.
What questions she delivers. To me, of all people of the whole wide world.
And why is Magus suddenly quiet?
"You should only bother about what people that you like think of you," I explain to her after a
moment of pondering my words, "if you don't like someone, why even care if he doesn't like you?"
Why on earth do I have to explain these things to her? What do I really know about it?
I'm only good at killing feelings and ignoring others.
Or maybe I've lost that profession.
You...
Be quiet, Magus, I warn you.
Pha!
But he falls silent.
Schaliya stops swinging her legs as she contemplates what she has heard. I somehow believe that
it's a good sign. She seems less concerned.
Finally she comes to a conclusion.
"I understand, uncle."
"Good. And don't go too far now."
"I will not!" she calls over her shoulder, smiling broadly as she runs off.
I lean backwards against the wall, watching the sky.
She makes me so confused...
I am not what she thinks I am. But somehow her belief has some power over me.
It's simply amazing.
How can I handle it?
Molor says nothing. He seems constantly concerned nowadays. I have a few clues why, and I don't
like any of it.
"Good night, uncle," Schaliya says with a smile as she disappears into her room.
"Good night."
I nod at Cered and Schala, then continue to my own room.
The sky that was burning a few moments ago is turning dark. The nights always come so quickly
when I want them to stay away. They have entered in a hurry for a long time now. I don't even
remember when I started to dream.
No attacks today. There was just peaceful rebuilding and cleaning up after the dragon's visit.
But now I'll have to sleep. Again.
For all the powers of the world, Frog! Make your move!
'Ironic, not?' I tell Molor.
'Indeed, friend.'
That I'm hoping that the green one will kill me, that is truly ironic.
May it finally happen tonight. I am so tired of being that Magus.
I stand in the great hall. There are sounds of battle sneaking up through the floor.
How could the three children come past all the guards? Even though they managed on the Zenan
bridge, this is surprising.
"This is your last chance, Magus!" master Ozzie snarls, "Slash and Flea will be with you, and you
will do no mistakes now, understood?!"
"I understand, master Ozzie."
He teleports away. I can already hear the steps from the corridor.
It's the blond woman, the man named Crono and a new warrior. Oh.
I recognize him.
"Ha!" master Flea laughs, "it's Sir Slime!"
The big frog growls, unsheathing his broadsword.
It's that young man I turned into a frog by master Ozzie's order, that day when I killed the hero
Cyrus to protect my master.
I unsheathe my sword.
"Where be the scum Ozzie?" the frog growls.
"You'll have to beat us before you get to see him!" master Slash sneer, holding his thin sword.
"Very well. Come, my comrades!"
He leaps forward together with the young man, aiming for master Flea. I move into their way,
parrying their weapons. It's hard, but I manage.
"I will not allow you to harm my masters," I say.
The young man looks at me. He's asking me why I, a human, serve the monsters.
"Why wouldn't I?" I snap and throw both of them backwards with a massive wave of fire.
"Take this, you creep!" the young woman shouts and my back explodes with pain; I am thrown
down.
Something heavy and cold makes it impossible for me to stand up again. That young woman
knows the powers of Water...
"Get up, you idiot!" master Flea snarls, muttering a spell of Fire.
The ice melts, and I hurriedly get to my feet. Slash is battling the woman, and Crono runs to help
her. I have to take care of the frog while master Flea is preparing another spell.
He is a better swordsman than I, that's easy to see. I could never use the sword as good as master
Slash, and the frog is just as good with his weapon as my master. But I have my magic, and the
warrior has to watch out for what I do with my fingers. He should have watched out better. I throw
him to the floor with a lightning bolt and raise my sword. He is ready to parry.
"My pendant!" the woman shouts in rage.
The sound of a stone and a chain hitting the floor rings in my ears. The sword falls from my hand.
I am aware that the frog is staring at me in surprise, but what do I care about it? That is...
something...
"Magus! What are you doing!?" Flea shouts.
I walk past the floor. Slash is still battling Crono, unaware that I have left my mission for the first
time ever. The woman stares suspiciously at me, holding something in a clenched grip. A thin chain,
cut by a sword, hangs between her hands. Falling out between her fingers.
"May I see that?" I ask her.
"Why?" she warily says.
"Magus!" master Flea shouts.
Then his shout turns into a scream of rage.
"Why you little...!"
"Thy life ends here, magician!" the frog shouts.
I hear them battle, but I don't care much about it.
"Let me see it," I say to the woman.
She watches me for a moment. Then she very slowly unclenches her hands and shows a pendant. It
looks as if it's made of a single big pearl, surrounded by a few threads of silver. There's a few tiny
runes scratched into it, but you can only see them in certain light. The pendant isn't shining from
within, but I know that it once did.
I reach for a pocket and bring out my amulet, holding it forth to the pendant. For a moment both of
them glisten. Sending a hot ray of pain cutting through my soul.
What... what...
No... no! No!
SCHALA!!
My whole body is burning, I fall to my knees, pressing my hands against my head. I have to...
"Schala! Schala!!" I scream.
What is that name!? Why do I have to scream it... who is Schala? Who am I?
My head is a flaming twister of confused thoughts, parts of broken memories trying to get a grip on
my tortured mind.
She is my... she is... my sister... who was... and mother... Zeal... Lavos... Janus!
My name is Janus! Janus, Janus, Janus, Janus... they took it from me... they...
They!
"You!" I growl, stumbling to my feet.
They are all staring at me now. I point at Slash, almost shaking of my rage.
"You..." I growl, "you took my name!"
"Oh dear," Flea says and rolls his eyes, "I think the little worm is having a flashback. Now is not the
time, Magus."
"My name isn't Magus!" I growl at him.
With one single move with my hand, I send both him and Slash flying into the walls. The three
warriors stares at me, blankly.
"I am not Magus," I growl, raising my hand to give them a taste of how much I appreciated their
leadership.
"Wait, who are you then?" the woman calls.
"I am Janus of Zeal," I say, without even turning around.
"Zeal? You're the one!"
I turn to look at her, slightly puzzled despite my rage.
"The one who?" I ask her.
"We are traveling through time," the frog slowly says, "and some time ago we entered to the era of
12000 BC, then we hope to save the future that is cruelly battered by a being named Lavos. We were
told that a key to that beast canst be found there."
(Author's note:
As this Magus was unable to "summon" Lavos, our heroes must have found the way to the dark age without first being thrown to 65000000 BC after the great beast's half awakening in the middle ages. Umm… that was confusing, I guess. Ahem. Here they got to Zeal before battling the Mystics, anyway. Kay- o?)
I just stare at him.
"But no luck," the woman say, "the queen would have killed us if princess Schala and her brother...
hadn't..."
She falls silent and stares at me. So does her friends.
My head keeps spinning with all the memories that I sealed off to keep fairly sane. Hours of pain,
the whip that hit me over and over again... forget, forget, forget... but before that, Schala, Adolfus...
and I remember these people now. Schala let them out and asked of them to find Melchior. They
promised to try, and then fled.
They never returned, though. Or did they? My memory seem to split up...
"Thou art that urchin?" the frog say, disbelieving.
"I was thrown here by Lavos," I say in a low voice, "and Ozzie found me. They took everything from
me, all my memories... brainwashed me and turned me into this."
With disgust I point at my own chest. Now I straighten up.
"But that's over," I growl, "why did you come here?"
The young man named Crono tells me that it was because an old man in some place called the End
of Time told them that there was somebody in this time who knew more about the kingdom of Zeal
and Lavos.
And that one is I. He asks me if I want to help them.
They are time travelers... I have to save Schala. Maybe I can even save myself. I have to try. I
swore to kill Lavos. Yes.
"I'm going to..."
"You're going to what, my little pupil?" I hear Flea's voice say, soft as silk.
My world catches fire as my back is hit. That pain is unbearable... no, leave me alone...!
No, I will never forget again! Never! I am not that weakened child anymore!
"Stop!" the frog and the woman shouts.
"Hey!" Flea snarls, and I hear a thump.
As I turn around, I find that most of a glowing, red whip is lying on the floor by the frog's feet. He
has cut it. But why?
"This isn't your battle!" I snarl, getting to my feet.
The frog looks at me for a moment. Then he nods and backs off.
Slash is also getting to his feet.
They never knew my full magic strength. If I had all of that now, I should be able to blow up the
whole castle without harming myself or these three people who actually helped me. But my head is
still turning over itself with all the returning memories. I cannot focus properly.
Blast it!
My sword is lying on the floor. I know I could call it to my hand, but it's worthless to me. I can use
it, but not as good as I'd need to in order to defeat Slash.
Well then, we'll just have to do it in another way.
I wave a little with my fingers, and my amulet rise from the floor. It comes to my grip, and I clench
my hand around it.
Stop spinning. I need to concentrate.
The flow of memories is pushed back as I put up a wall against it, focusing on how the artifact's
sharp edges are cutting into my skin.
Now.
"Powers of the world, send me the power of Fire to burn this worm!" Flea shouts, pointing both his
fine hands at me.
I jump, higher than anyone could believe possible, to avoid the flames. The heat still burns my
legs, and I'm almost unable to land without hurting myself gravely. Slash still hasn't charged, I guess
he thought that Flea would finish me off.
A cold smile grows on my lips. They made me strong, whether I liked it or not. Maybe I should
thank them. Indeed...
"Dark powers of the world!" I roar, "I dare to ask thee to lend me strength!"
I am using evil powers to achieve my goals; to kill those who tortured me. Would Schala think that
was reason enough?
I cannot ask that now. There are things that I must do.
"You're mad!" Flea screech as he hears my chanting, "you cannot use that!"
He recognizes the spell, and he doesn't like it.
I could never master this before. But I didn't have a mind of my own then.
Schala. I have to use darkness. I was turned to it, I must do the best of my... gifts. I hope that you
will understand.
Crono, the frog and the woman lent me a hand to regain my senses. I mustn't allow my powers to
kill them too.
My hands seem to move by themselves, painting runes whose meaning are long lost as my mouth
speak their meaning in a just as lost language. But I can read and understand them, they are Zealan.
Like me. And Schala. Now I know what I am saying.
Power.
Intention.
Evil.
Substance.
Dark Matter.
Now.
I smile coldly at Flea's terrified eyes.
Farewell, my hated teacher. You were wrong. I can use it.
I could call them masters one last, ironic time. But I won't. I have more pride than that.
The whole room seem to dissolve around me, in blinding light and engulfing darkness. And that
darkness reaches out for me, wants me to join my soul with it.
No. Never again. I use it, but I'm not a part of the darkness. I'm not going to be deceived again.
The darkness roars in anger and sends out tentacles for me, but I back off and it cannot reach me.
Another cold smile move my lips. The spell has drained me so much that I feel like a moldering
leaf, but that won't stop me.
The darkness draws back, cursing me.
And I open my eyes.
They are watching me.
"Art thee well again?" the frog ask.
"Yes."
I sit up, without any help.
"Can you stand up?" the woman ask me, "we're going for Ozzie next."
"No. I'll take care of him," I tell her.
Crono says that he and his friends will help me. I shake my head.
"I won't share his death with anyone," I grimly say, "he's mine only."
"But he'll have the whole army standing between himself and you!" the woman points out, "and just
look at your state."
"I'll make it. You don't have to care for me."
The frog snorts.
"First Cyrus dies, then the mere tool who caused his death also wish to perish," he say, "'tis a real
shame and waste of life."
I look at him, frowning. By Ozzie's order, I destroyed his life. Yet he doesn't want me to die. I
cannot understand it... why would they care? It somehow bothers me.
"You should cherish it," I coldly say, "because only if I die can you become a human again."
He stares at me, almost taking one step backwards. But then he shakes his head.
"'Tis the price?" he say, calmly, "'tis far too high."
I am amazed, but it's only shown by a small twitch of my eyebrows. He'll never be a human if I
don't die, and still he's not willing to kill me? How can anyone think in such an avoiding way? It's
illogical.
"Let us go," he says, "we must make our move before Ozzie hast time to plan his strategy."
They all look at me. I am silent for a moment, wondering about my chances against Ozzie's troops
on my own. Plus, if I refuse their offer of help they might not help me get to Schala.
It seems I have no choice.
"Very well," I finally say, getting to my feet with a dry smile, "but you'll have to let me take care of
Ozzie."
"Alright!" the woman smiles, "I'm Marle, this is Crono and Frog."
"How ironical," I say, looking at the amphibian, "wasn't your name Glenn?"
He seems a bit amazed that I remember. If he only knew... I remember it all. Every detail and every
hit.
I can feel Ozzie shiver somewhere deeper inside of the castle. Stay right there.
I'm coming, master...
"For the time being my name is Frog," the knight finally says, emotionless.
I could tell him that I only followed Ozzie's order. But he apparently already knows that.
"I am Janus," I say.
"And you don't look too good," Marle say and exchange a quick glance with Frog, who nods, "one
moment. Powers of the world, we ask of thee to lend us the power of Water..."
Both of them begin to chant softly. I do not recognize the spell, but I can understand the words in
old Zealan.
Power.
Water.
Healing.
What?
As they point at me, a shower of soft stars rain over me. I am covered in a warm light, filling me
with new strength. Is this healing magic? I haven't ever been exposed to that earlier.
I do not understand why they care, but I feel grateful. I have my memories, and I have my life
back. Even if it's a life torn apart, it's a life with dignity.
Now then. I am... no, we are coming, Ozzie.
I simply nod at them as the light disappears.
"I'll show the way," I tell them.
"Very well," Frog says.
I lead them over the floor. Nothing is left of Flea and Slash. A black lump of molten and burned
metal is all that's left of my sword. I never wanted it, anyway. It doesn't matter at all.
For a moment I ponder that it's peculiar that Flea should have died by on single magic blow, even
though it was extremely powerful. But I have no patience wondering about that. My hate is focused
on Ozzie. He found me, he brought me all the pain. He will pay tonight.
We enter a corridor, and I see the shadows of the statues. I hold up a hand.
"There are goblins here," I warn my allies in a low voice, "they are hiding behind the statues."
Crono smirks that it shouldn't be too much of a problem. I nod, and we begin to walk again, ready
to surprise those who are preparing to surprise us.
But before anything more happens, I awake.
Slowly I sit up in my bed, hearing the whispering sound of Molor's movement as he rise from the
floor.
'Fascinating,' he says.
'Truly.'
I have to smile in the weak light of dawn.
Frog didn't kill that Magus after all, as I wished that he would.
Fascinating. Seems like it's my destiny to fight together with Crono and the others.
That Janus is weaker than I was, and a lot less cold. Even though he's got better reasons to. I see
that relief and freedom are more powerful than I ever could imagine.
Maybe my sleep won't be such a torture from now on. What I just experienced was a truly
unexpected twist of the plot. It might even get interesting.
The smile on my lips fades.
Well, at least one problem down, in my dreams. But what is left within me in my real life is still a
concern. I don't really want to examine how Charash's gift has been working so far, if Molor's help has
run out of time yet. As I understand, it was very little he could do to stop the process.
It's not a pleasant situation. I have this urge of wanting to know what's happening to my own
body.
Humph.
'How long until I know?' I ask Molor.
Sooner or later I'll find out what's happening; at least I can ask him to tell me when.
His answer takes a moment to come, and he doesn't like to say it.
'Don't know, friend. Day, week, month. Don't know.'
Wonderful...
I wish that I could persuade Molor to talk. But it would be like trying to make me talk when I don't
want to. And that's quite impossible.
I'll just have to bear it, I'm afraid.
Sunlight hits my eyes, and I open them slowly. For a moment I can't even remember who I am. My head feels completely empty. Then it all crashes down on me, burning lumps of realization.
Molor!
He raises his head as I sit straight up and look down at him.
'Why?'
I can hardly produce the mere thought.
He doesn't give me the answer in words, but by giving me a piece of his own memory. I see my own mind's shocked look through his eyes, feel his hate for his own actions; the actions he had to go through with. He gives me the knowledge that he has done what he can about Charash's gift, even though it's strictly forbidden. He doesn't tell me why it's forbidden or how he could know how to cure it just a little bit. But I now know that he had to drive my mind out of my soul and place me in a suspended mode so that he could work on the infection. He has no regrets, but he's definitely not proud. It took him a lot of strength to attack me, so much that I'm amazed that he managed. For him it was like committing suicide.
He takes his experiences back again after showing them to me.
My trust in him weakened for a moment.
He knows. He understand.
It won't happen again. But...
'What is gift?' I ask him.
'Done too much,' he says, bitterly, 'no tell. Forgive.'
At first I don't answer him. But in the end I have to accept his will.
'Yes.'
'Thank.'
He's done what he can. I don't know what he has done or why he can't tell me the whole story, but I have to trust him. I never warned him when Flea and Slash unveiled my progress growing to Magus, forcing him, as well as Schala, Cered and Glenn through a painful shock. But he never accused me for not giving him a smoothening warning. We have to trust each other.
There's a knock on the door.
"Janus, art thee awake?" Glenn's voice call, "Schala wanted me to tell thee that the breakfast is awaiting."
"We're coming," I answer and hear his footsteps leave on the other side of the wood.
Slowly I rise from the bed, all the time watching Molor from the corner of my eye. He watches me too. But we don't say anything to each other. There's nothing to say.
I take my cloak and wrap it around my neck. Yes, I do sleep in my clothes. And I do have things to change to now and then.
But I seldom remove the leather plates that cover my scars. You should understand my reasons.
Molor follows me down to the kitchen. Only my niece and my sister are there. Schaliya smiles broadly as she sees the two of us, and she sends a piece of bread flying through the room. My kindred spirit catches and swallows it. That's another thing that's a bit peculiar about him; he eats human food. As far as I know, snakes normally only eat things they have killed themselves.
I silently sigh. My trust in him is still damaged; I'm even wondering about his normal behavior. But I have to accept what he think is the right thing to do.
And considering his behavior... I doubt that anything could be my kindred spirit and completely normal.
"Good morning, Janus," Schala says, trying to smile even though she obviously is worried, "you're a bit late..."
"I'm fine, Schala," I calmly say.
I don't know what it is that Charash have planted in me, and I don't want to scare her nor Schaliya. Maybe when I know what's happening I can tell my sister... at least something. Schala will hopefully understand and keep from asking anything further.
"How's the village doing today?" I ask, absentmindedly reaching for the small basket of bread.
"Rebuilding," Schala answers, "Glenn is helping healer Taron to take care of the injured ones. And
Cered is working with the buildings together with almost everyone."
I could say something about that there's no real point with rebuilding, because Charash will come
back to destroy even more. But they'll rebuild anyhow, and I don't really want to plant any feeling of
hopelessness.
"I think somebody should be on watch out for Charash," Schala says, "maybe that's something that
you could take care of."
I shrug my shoulders. Why not...
"Very well."
A short while later I leave the house, just after eating a piece of bread. The whole population of the
town are out to work on the damage. I see Cered over by Shadarak's wasted house.
Being on "watch out for the dragon"? Have you no pride left at all?
Shut up, Magus.
"Powers of the world, lend me the power of wind," I mutter.
Call forth.
Strong.
Carry.
Molor disappears into my cloak as it begins to flap in a sudden whirlwind. My feet leave the
ground and I float up high above the trees surrounding the village. From up there I can see miles
around. There's almost nothing but forest to the east and north, cut through by broader roads. To the
east are hills, and to the south is the ocean. And Charash went to the north.
I really doubt he'll return today, but it's best to stay on guard.
Molor says nothing. Neither do I.
As I float high above everything else, I can't help starting to think about my dreamed life. I missed
one night of it thanks to Molor. Even though his attack was far much worse than my dreams...
Come on, Frog. Come! Take care of that Magus' miserable existence!
I have enough to do in the real world.
No enormous body passes the sky, and after a couple of hours I cannot keep up the wind-spell any
longer. Slowly I return to the world. Molor does the same.
Schaliya is sitting on the bench by the wall of Schala and Cered's house, swinging her short legs
and silently touching her right ear with her fingers. As I come closer with Molor by my side she looks
up for a moment, smiles hesitantly and then looks down again. I sit down by her side. She keeps
swinging her legs and examining her ear. My kindred spirit silently lies down on the ground.
None of us say anything for a while.
Then Schaliya suddenly realizes that I've grabbed her hand, the one that was by her ear. She looks
up at me. I look back.
"Well?" I say.
"Why are my ears strange?" she asks.
Sometimes she is able to at least partly leave the way of speaking that is used by the people here
and talk as I and Schala usually do. My sister has begun to become more and more influenced by
Cered at times. I fight my battle to stay civilized.
Irrelevant.
"It's your ears," I say, "there's nothing strange about them."
She pushes her hair away with her free hand, revealing the pointy ear.
"But Sean said that they art not normal," she says.
Note to me; one boy with webbed feet ordered.
"You shouldn't care about what Sean says," I gravely tell Schaliya, "you should never care when
anyone says something like that."
I point at my own ears, which my hair is unable to hide.
"I have the same kind of ears as you, and your mother too."
"But thee are the only ones," she says, "and father does not carry such ears."
"In the time from which me and your mother come, almost everyone had these kind of ears."
"Why then?"
I lean back against the wall.
"The people back then used magic everyday, and that changed us," I explain, "it's just like it is with
my eyes being red."
"Art we half-elves?" she wonders.
I shake my head.
"Elves only exist in fairytales. At least on this planet. They might very well exist in other worlds."
After all, Charash was also a fairytale for all that everyone knew until now...
"Why would you wonder about that?" I ask her.
Schaliya seems relieved.
"So we don't snatch babies, then?" she says.
I raise one eyebrow.
"Did Sean tell you that too?" I ask.
"No..."
She looks at her swinging legs.
"Anar and Garod did."
"And they were together with Sean when they said it, didn't they?" I say, emotionless.
She nods.
"Any others?"
"No."
"Humph."
"Uncle Janus?"
"Yes?"
She looks up at me, gravely.
"Could thee turn them into tadpoles? Just for a while?"
I am well aware that my lips are twitching.
She knows that I can use magic, but it's the first time she ever asked me to do it for her. And
something like that? Tsk, tsk... and somehow it's still innocent. "Just for a while".
"I could," I say, "but I'm afraid that your mother would be angry with both of us."
"Oh."
She looks at her legs again.
"'Tis too bad."
"Yes," I nod.
I release her hand.
"Of course," I say with the shadow of a smile, "I am able to turn them into anything. But
they don't know that I don't want to anger your mother."
She looks up at me and grins, catching my point. I send a small smile back at her.
"The next time anyone picks on you, come to me or your parents immediately, understand?" I say,
"because nobody is going to think that they are any better than you just because they are a couple of
years older and have plain ears."
Her smile dies and she turns back to her legs.
"They will just call me a crybaby..." she mumbles.
"Then let them call you that," I say, "what others think of you isn't that important."
She looks a bit puzzled.
"But should I not bother what thee and mother and father thinks of me, then?" she asks me.
What questions she delivers. To me, of all people of the whole wide world.
And why is Magus suddenly quiet?
"You should only bother about what people that you like think of you," I explain to her after a
moment of pondering my words, "if you don't like someone, why even care if he doesn't like you?"
Why on earth do I have to explain these things to her? What do I really know about it?
I'm only good at killing feelings and ignoring others.
Or maybe I've lost that profession.
You...
Be quiet, Magus, I warn you.
Pha!
But he falls silent.
Schaliya stops swinging her legs as she contemplates what she has heard. I somehow believe that
it's a good sign. She seems less concerned.
Finally she comes to a conclusion.
"I understand, uncle."
"Good. And don't go too far now."
"I will not!" she calls over her shoulder, smiling broadly as she runs off.
I lean backwards against the wall, watching the sky.
She makes me so confused...
I am not what she thinks I am. But somehow her belief has some power over me.
It's simply amazing.
How can I handle it?
Molor says nothing. He seems constantly concerned nowadays. I have a few clues why, and I don't
like any of it.
"Good night, uncle," Schaliya says with a smile as she disappears into her room.
"Good night."
I nod at Cered and Schala, then continue to my own room.
The sky that was burning a few moments ago is turning dark. The nights always come so quickly
when I want them to stay away. They have entered in a hurry for a long time now. I don't even
remember when I started to dream.
No attacks today. There was just peaceful rebuilding and cleaning up after the dragon's visit.
But now I'll have to sleep. Again.
For all the powers of the world, Frog! Make your move!
'Ironic, not?' I tell Molor.
'Indeed, friend.'
That I'm hoping that the green one will kill me, that is truly ironic.
May it finally happen tonight. I am so tired of being that Magus.
I stand in the great hall. There are sounds of battle sneaking up through the floor.
How could the three children come past all the guards? Even though they managed on the Zenan
bridge, this is surprising.
"This is your last chance, Magus!" master Ozzie snarls, "Slash and Flea will be with you, and you
will do no mistakes now, understood?!"
"I understand, master Ozzie."
He teleports away. I can already hear the steps from the corridor.
It's the blond woman, the man named Crono and a new warrior. Oh.
I recognize him.
"Ha!" master Flea laughs, "it's Sir Slime!"
The big frog growls, unsheathing his broadsword.
It's that young man I turned into a frog by master Ozzie's order, that day when I killed the hero
Cyrus to protect my master.
I unsheathe my sword.
"Where be the scum Ozzie?" the frog growls.
"You'll have to beat us before you get to see him!" master Slash sneer, holding his thin sword.
"Very well. Come, my comrades!"
He leaps forward together with the young man, aiming for master Flea. I move into their way,
parrying their weapons. It's hard, but I manage.
"I will not allow you to harm my masters," I say.
The young man looks at me. He's asking me why I, a human, serve the monsters.
"Why wouldn't I?" I snap and throw both of them backwards with a massive wave of fire.
"Take this, you creep!" the young woman shouts and my back explodes with pain; I am thrown
down.
Something heavy and cold makes it impossible for me to stand up again. That young woman
knows the powers of Water...
"Get up, you idiot!" master Flea snarls, muttering a spell of Fire.
The ice melts, and I hurriedly get to my feet. Slash is battling the woman, and Crono runs to help
her. I have to take care of the frog while master Flea is preparing another spell.
He is a better swordsman than I, that's easy to see. I could never use the sword as good as master
Slash, and the frog is just as good with his weapon as my master. But I have my magic, and the
warrior has to watch out for what I do with my fingers. He should have watched out better. I throw
him to the floor with a lightning bolt and raise my sword. He is ready to parry.
"My pendant!" the woman shouts in rage.
The sound of a stone and a chain hitting the floor rings in my ears. The sword falls from my hand.
I am aware that the frog is staring at me in surprise, but what do I care about it? That is...
something...
"Magus! What are you doing!?" Flea shouts.
I walk past the floor. Slash is still battling Crono, unaware that I have left my mission for the first
time ever. The woman stares suspiciously at me, holding something in a clenched grip. A thin chain,
cut by a sword, hangs between her hands. Falling out between her fingers.
"May I see that?" I ask her.
"Why?" she warily says.
"Magus!" master Flea shouts.
Then his shout turns into a scream of rage.
"Why you little...!"
"Thy life ends here, magician!" the frog shouts.
I hear them battle, but I don't care much about it.
"Let me see it," I say to the woman.
She watches me for a moment. Then she very slowly unclenches her hands and shows a pendant. It
looks as if it's made of a single big pearl, surrounded by a few threads of silver. There's a few tiny
runes scratched into it, but you can only see them in certain light. The pendant isn't shining from
within, but I know that it once did.
I reach for a pocket and bring out my amulet, holding it forth to the pendant. For a moment both of
them glisten. Sending a hot ray of pain cutting through my soul.
What... what...
No... no! No!
SCHALA!!
My whole body is burning, I fall to my knees, pressing my hands against my head. I have to...
"Schala! Schala!!" I scream.
What is that name!? Why do I have to scream it... who is Schala? Who am I?
My head is a flaming twister of confused thoughts, parts of broken memories trying to get a grip on
my tortured mind.
She is my... she is... my sister... who was... and mother... Zeal... Lavos... Janus!
My name is Janus! Janus, Janus, Janus, Janus... they took it from me... they...
They!
"You!" I growl, stumbling to my feet.
They are all staring at me now. I point at Slash, almost shaking of my rage.
"You..." I growl, "you took my name!"
"Oh dear," Flea says and rolls his eyes, "I think the little worm is having a flashback. Now is not the
time, Magus."
"My name isn't Magus!" I growl at him.
With one single move with my hand, I send both him and Slash flying into the walls. The three
warriors stares at me, blankly.
"I am not Magus," I growl, raising my hand to give them a taste of how much I appreciated their
leadership.
"Wait, who are you then?" the woman calls.
"I am Janus of Zeal," I say, without even turning around.
"Zeal? You're the one!"
I turn to look at her, slightly puzzled despite my rage.
"The one who?" I ask her.
"We are traveling through time," the frog slowly says, "and some time ago we entered to the era of
12000 BC, then we hope to save the future that is cruelly battered by a being named Lavos. We were
told that a key to that beast canst be found there."
(Author's note:
As this Magus was unable to "summon" Lavos, our heroes must have found the way to the dark age without first being thrown to 65000000 BC after the great beast's half awakening in the middle ages. Umm… that was confusing, I guess. Ahem. Here they got to Zeal before battling the Mystics, anyway. Kay- o?)
I just stare at him.
"But no luck," the woman say, "the queen would have killed us if princess Schala and her brother...
hadn't..."
She falls silent and stares at me. So does her friends.
My head keeps spinning with all the memories that I sealed off to keep fairly sane. Hours of pain,
the whip that hit me over and over again... forget, forget, forget... but before that, Schala, Adolfus...
and I remember these people now. Schala let them out and asked of them to find Melchior. They
promised to try, and then fled.
They never returned, though. Or did they? My memory seem to split up...
"Thou art that urchin?" the frog say, disbelieving.
"I was thrown here by Lavos," I say in a low voice, "and Ozzie found me. They took everything from
me, all my memories... brainwashed me and turned me into this."
With disgust I point at my own chest. Now I straighten up.
"But that's over," I growl, "why did you come here?"
The young man named Crono tells me that it was because an old man in some place called the End
of Time told them that there was somebody in this time who knew more about the kingdom of Zeal
and Lavos.
And that one is I. He asks me if I want to help them.
They are time travelers... I have to save Schala. Maybe I can even save myself. I have to try. I
swore to kill Lavos. Yes.
"I'm going to..."
"You're going to what, my little pupil?" I hear Flea's voice say, soft as silk.
My world catches fire as my back is hit. That pain is unbearable... no, leave me alone...!
No, I will never forget again! Never! I am not that weakened child anymore!
"Stop!" the frog and the woman shouts.
"Hey!" Flea snarls, and I hear a thump.
As I turn around, I find that most of a glowing, red whip is lying on the floor by the frog's feet. He
has cut it. But why?
"This isn't your battle!" I snarl, getting to my feet.
The frog looks at me for a moment. Then he nods and backs off.
Slash is also getting to his feet.
They never knew my full magic strength. If I had all of that now, I should be able to blow up the
whole castle without harming myself or these three people who actually helped me. But my head is
still turning over itself with all the returning memories. I cannot focus properly.
Blast it!
My sword is lying on the floor. I know I could call it to my hand, but it's worthless to me. I can use
it, but not as good as I'd need to in order to defeat Slash.
Well then, we'll just have to do it in another way.
I wave a little with my fingers, and my amulet rise from the floor. It comes to my grip, and I clench
my hand around it.
Stop spinning. I need to concentrate.
The flow of memories is pushed back as I put up a wall against it, focusing on how the artifact's
sharp edges are cutting into my skin.
Now.
"Powers of the world, send me the power of Fire to burn this worm!" Flea shouts, pointing both his
fine hands at me.
I jump, higher than anyone could believe possible, to avoid the flames. The heat still burns my
legs, and I'm almost unable to land without hurting myself gravely. Slash still hasn't charged, I guess
he thought that Flea would finish me off.
A cold smile grows on my lips. They made me strong, whether I liked it or not. Maybe I should
thank them. Indeed...
"Dark powers of the world!" I roar, "I dare to ask thee to lend me strength!"
I am using evil powers to achieve my goals; to kill those who tortured me. Would Schala think that
was reason enough?
I cannot ask that now. There are things that I must do.
"You're mad!" Flea screech as he hears my chanting, "you cannot use that!"
He recognizes the spell, and he doesn't like it.
I could never master this before. But I didn't have a mind of my own then.
Schala. I have to use darkness. I was turned to it, I must do the best of my... gifts. I hope that you
will understand.
Crono, the frog and the woman lent me a hand to regain my senses. I mustn't allow my powers to
kill them too.
My hands seem to move by themselves, painting runes whose meaning are long lost as my mouth
speak their meaning in a just as lost language. But I can read and understand them, they are Zealan.
Like me. And Schala. Now I know what I am saying.
Power.
Intention.
Evil.
Substance.
Dark Matter.
Now.
I smile coldly at Flea's terrified eyes.
Farewell, my hated teacher. You were wrong. I can use it.
I could call them masters one last, ironic time. But I won't. I have more pride than that.
The whole room seem to dissolve around me, in blinding light and engulfing darkness. And that
darkness reaches out for me, wants me to join my soul with it.
No. Never again. I use it, but I'm not a part of the darkness. I'm not going to be deceived again.
The darkness roars in anger and sends out tentacles for me, but I back off and it cannot reach me.
Another cold smile move my lips. The spell has drained me so much that I feel like a moldering
leaf, but that won't stop me.
The darkness draws back, cursing me.
And I open my eyes.
They are watching me.
"Art thee well again?" the frog ask.
"Yes."
I sit up, without any help.
"Can you stand up?" the woman ask me, "we're going for Ozzie next."
"No. I'll take care of him," I tell her.
Crono says that he and his friends will help me. I shake my head.
"I won't share his death with anyone," I grimly say, "he's mine only."
"But he'll have the whole army standing between himself and you!" the woman points out, "and just
look at your state."
"I'll make it. You don't have to care for me."
The frog snorts.
"First Cyrus dies, then the mere tool who caused his death also wish to perish," he say, "'tis a real
shame and waste of life."
I look at him, frowning. By Ozzie's order, I destroyed his life. Yet he doesn't want me to die. I
cannot understand it... why would they care? It somehow bothers me.
"You should cherish it," I coldly say, "because only if I die can you become a human again."
He stares at me, almost taking one step backwards. But then he shakes his head.
"'Tis the price?" he say, calmly, "'tis far too high."
I am amazed, but it's only shown by a small twitch of my eyebrows. He'll never be a human if I
don't die, and still he's not willing to kill me? How can anyone think in such an avoiding way? It's
illogical.
"Let us go," he says, "we must make our move before Ozzie hast time to plan his strategy."
They all look at me. I am silent for a moment, wondering about my chances against Ozzie's troops
on my own. Plus, if I refuse their offer of help they might not help me get to Schala.
It seems I have no choice.
"Very well," I finally say, getting to my feet with a dry smile, "but you'll have to let me take care of
Ozzie."
"Alright!" the woman smiles, "I'm Marle, this is Crono and Frog."
"How ironical," I say, looking at the amphibian, "wasn't your name Glenn?"
He seems a bit amazed that I remember. If he only knew... I remember it all. Every detail and every
hit.
I can feel Ozzie shiver somewhere deeper inside of the castle. Stay right there.
I'm coming, master...
"For the time being my name is Frog," the knight finally says, emotionless.
I could tell him that I only followed Ozzie's order. But he apparently already knows that.
"I am Janus," I say.
"And you don't look too good," Marle say and exchange a quick glance with Frog, who nods, "one
moment. Powers of the world, we ask of thee to lend us the power of Water..."
Both of them begin to chant softly. I do not recognize the spell, but I can understand the words in
old Zealan.
Power.
Water.
Healing.
What?
As they point at me, a shower of soft stars rain over me. I am covered in a warm light, filling me
with new strength. Is this healing magic? I haven't ever been exposed to that earlier.
I do not understand why they care, but I feel grateful. I have my memories, and I have my life
back. Even if it's a life torn apart, it's a life with dignity.
Now then. I am... no, we are coming, Ozzie.
I simply nod at them as the light disappears.
"I'll show the way," I tell them.
"Very well," Frog says.
I lead them over the floor. Nothing is left of Flea and Slash. A black lump of molten and burned
metal is all that's left of my sword. I never wanted it, anyway. It doesn't matter at all.
For a moment I ponder that it's peculiar that Flea should have died by on single magic blow, even
though it was extremely powerful. But I have no patience wondering about that. My hate is focused
on Ozzie. He found me, he brought me all the pain. He will pay tonight.
We enter a corridor, and I see the shadows of the statues. I hold up a hand.
"There are goblins here," I warn my allies in a low voice, "they are hiding behind the statues."
Crono smirks that it shouldn't be too much of a problem. I nod, and we begin to walk again, ready
to surprise those who are preparing to surprise us.
But before anything more happens, I awake.
Slowly I sit up in my bed, hearing the whispering sound of Molor's movement as he rise from the
floor.
'Fascinating,' he says.
'Truly.'
I have to smile in the weak light of dawn.
Frog didn't kill that Magus after all, as I wished that he would.
Fascinating. Seems like it's my destiny to fight together with Crono and the others.
That Janus is weaker than I was, and a lot less cold. Even though he's got better reasons to. I see
that relief and freedom are more powerful than I ever could imagine.
Maybe my sleep won't be such a torture from now on. What I just experienced was a truly
unexpected twist of the plot. It might even get interesting.
The smile on my lips fades.
Well, at least one problem down, in my dreams. But what is left within me in my real life is still a
concern. I don't really want to examine how Charash's gift has been working so far, if Molor's help has
run out of time yet. As I understand, it was very little he could do to stop the process.
It's not a pleasant situation. I have this urge of wanting to know what's happening to my own
body.
Humph.
'How long until I know?' I ask Molor.
Sooner or later I'll find out what's happening; at least I can ask him to tell me when.
His answer takes a moment to come, and he doesn't like to say it.
'Don't know, friend. Day, week, month. Don't know.'
Wonderful...
I wish that I could persuade Molor to talk. But it would be like trying to make me talk when I don't
want to. And that's quite impossible.
I'll just have to bear it, I'm afraid.