Silhouette

The Nine Lives of a Shadow

By Perfect Image

Eleven to Twenty

Tick, tick, Boom--


- For three he plays, for three he strays, and for the last three he stays-

~English Proverb~

::Chapter Four::

Ages Fourteen to Fifteen

Rising Sun


Roxas was the Key of Destiny, and he had been marked as such ever since he was born. It might have been like a killer blow to his stomach, meant to make him spew chunks had he been unable to control his reaction to the simple truth: Sora was not his twin – but, he didn't feel anything. He had been born to serve the Nobodies back when Shadows that were later renamed Heartless had just started to think, the first that had been almost human if not for the darkness that constantly surrounded their bodies. Though they had been the first, their followers had slowly reverted to animalistic behavior until they were warped and cartoonish versions of their old selves.

The loss of a heart only sealed someone off from the light; it did not change them so completely that they turned into a separate creature entirely. The small toy-like Heartless had been created from the children and infants, while the ones that patrolled the castle Roxas now lived in were the best of the best – Upper Heartless dedicated to serving the Nobodies of their own free will and not because they were enslaved like the rest.

And, all together, the Nobodies – they who felt nothing because a seed of darkness had been implanted in their hearts, allowing them to live for hundreds of years without feelings or emotions and turning the weaker ones into twisted puppets while the stronger retained their human shapes and memories, even if they lost their hearts – and the Heartless were referred to as Shadows, because they were beings who dwelled in darkness, even if they had not been born there.

And Roxas was an entirely new type of Nobody because his mother had been used by the Nobodies that formed Organization XIII, and several experiments had resulted in an almost exact copy of Sora who could wield weapons long lost, implanted in her womb to grow along with Sora to where Roxas seemed to be his twin except for his blonde hair – hair that had been mistaken to be his mother's, though the gene that gave Sora brown hair had been switched to where Roxas received blonde in actuality. He was a clone that had been made as a preformed Nobody, emotionless to the degree that he was easy to control and at the same time willful enough that no one suspected a thing.

And his mother had known and offered him to the Nobodies when they decided to go after Sora, because they had forgotten of little Roxas – simmering quietly besides the bonfire that was Sora. It honestly didn't affect him that much. Xemnas, the Superior, had flipped the switch that had been the black box waiting inside Roxy's head and suddenly there was nothing. Certainly, there were memories of happiness though, and it was these that he turned to whenever speaking with Axel because the other did care for him, unlike the rest of the Organization.

Roxas had learned something from Axel though, something valuable and important in its simplicity. Nobodies, after a period of time, began to regain humanity. It was little flickers of emotions here and there, enough that now some of the more willful and defiant members could actually feel. This Axel the prankster explained with a cocky smirk on his face before scuttling out the door.

Roxas found out later that Xigbar had been targeted by Axel and was dusted in flour from the shoulders up. He also found out that Axel was good at placing the blame on others. Demyx, poor blonde Demyx, was limping rather badly the next day – the good natured musician scratching his head and explaining to Roxas that Axel was so bad that he got attacked by the other members often, regardless of whether he had wreaked havoc or not. The two blondes often hung out whenever Axel wasn't around because Roxas didn't think whenever the Melodious Nocturne was playing gentle music on his sitar.

He didn't really mess with the other members much though, they all being either ridiculously older or scary in appearance (this being directed at Zexion, since Roxas thought they might be close in terms of age, but he scared Roxas despite Demyx's assurances that Zexion wouldn't do anything to him). Instead, he went to an old abandoned town near their dark castle called Twilight Town. It was always dimly lit there, as if perpetually twilight. His guardians liked it too. They would dance around him as he sat on the edge of a large clock tower, staring down at the ground or up at the dying sun, waiting to be resurrected for another day before sinking again.

Roxas was always followed by Nobodies of the Lesser Rank called Samurai. They were proportioned in a way that Roxas might have found ridiculous at once. Now he just found it dull, as he did everything else. But, his emotions weren't consumed completely, as they had been with the others. No, he was a special kind of Nobody. There had been an operation conducted by Marluxia to implant the seed of darkness before Xemnas had intervened, telling the scythe-wielder that Roxas was a special case. Xemnas had simply swept dark matter into his soul, blotting the feelings out. Roxas could feel, if he tried hard enough. He just didn't want to.

-----

Roxas learned about the raids. They were made on small towns that had sprung up around the edges of the border walls of the City. They were spread far and wide, used as a line of defense. Those houses Roxas and Sora had seen when they had still been together had only survived so long because of the scapegoats that were the towns. It might have sickened Roxas had he felt anything for it, but he just found it mesmerizing the first time Axel took him raiding.

Buildings burned so beautifully, and the most amazing were the cathedrals – viewed from the inside and protected by Axel's abilities to control fire. The stained glass reflected upon the flames, casting them in blue and green and gold until the embers were like leaves as they floated down, only to dull to gray upon touching the ground. The buildings burned beautifully, but Roxas would always wrinkle his nose upon coming into contact with the smell of burnt flesh – Axel just grinned at him and said that it was the best smell in the world and Roxas should get used to it. Roxas politely declined to do such a thing.

Raids were conducted with around one to two Nobodies (the cloaked ones with the weapons and attitude, mind you) and a legion of Heartless. The Heartless were, more often than not, the little infants – with beady little gold eyes and weird antennas that were cute and a fattened body, squishy and soft and simple in its design. Roxas accompanied Axel and Demyx, tagging along behind with his Samurais also coming because he couldn't do anything by himself.

Axel loved it, and he would always tell Roxas this, smiling with pointed teeth that matched too well with the reversed tear drops under his eyes. Demyx, on the other hand, was not quite as enthusiastic. He did it because he had to, and his Dancers seemed just as annoyed as he did whenever they had to fight. Roxas could almost swear that he heard one huff in indignation one time when a citizen fleeing from the destruction called it an ugly abomination. They didn't take kindly to being insulted, it seemed, for Roxas passed the same man later, ripped to shreds and lying in a bloody mess right where the Lesser Nobody had caught up with him. That same Dancer had danced beautifully as Demyx washed the blood off it with his water powers, twirling and pivoting gracefully as scarlet drops spiraled downward.

Not all the smaller cities and towns were that way, though. Some groups were starting up, trying to rebel against the Organization's march to total domination – or whatever it was the Superior was after. Roxas didn't encounter them during a raid until he had been with the Organization long enough that some of the senior members were starting to take notice in him, Luxord having actually challenged him to a game of cards – which he lost after a few rounds, though Luxord was pleased that he had lasted that long anyway.

The first ones he fought were called Vaan and Reks and they were brothers in a way that was too close to how Roxas and Sora had been, backing up one another and taking blows for the other whenever one was close to being wounded severely – yelling out to one another and calling each others' names when they were separated. They sliced through his Samurais too easily, Reks taking the lead while Vaan stayed back to drink a vial of some liquid. Roxas was more than a little disturbed to find that the wounds upon his body disappeared, but then he was dodging left and right; he was running down alleys and trying desperately to find Axel because the fiery red-head would make them burn.

Reks caught up to him, slashing the tendon of one leg easily with red spurting everywhere, and Roxas fell down because his fucking leg wouldn't move. And it was quivering, so badly, and he was afraid for the first time in a long time. His eyes darted back to the two teenagers approaching him, Vaan covering ground quicker than his brother, and a savage light was glowing in his eyes and Roxas could almost feel his blood boiling as he lunged forward to strike Roxas through the chest and end it all. Roxas felt this heaviness in his pocket from where he kept two charms, one from Axel and the other from Sora – and one was an X and the other was a star-shaped fruit thing. They were the two most important people in his life and he would never see them again. Roxas closed his eyes to accept the blow –

– and Roxas felt weight in both of his hands and the gentle splash of water droplets hitting his face. Maybe, maybe just a dream – underneath a curtain of water? And he half-smiled and opened his eyes. Vaan was standing above him, sword raised in a striking position with a large silver Keyblade (Axel said later that it was called that) imbedded in his stomach. He hadn't felt the movement of his dark weapon, but the other Keyblade had swung in an arc and now the teenager's head lay so many feet away, face frozen in shock and hatred. The water droplets Roxas had mistaken to be from a shower were actually drops of blood from the wounds.

Then Reks cried out a choking sob that was twisted into some sort of war cry as he charged Roxas. The Nobody's mind blanked, and Oblivion (for that was the dark Keyblade's name) was pressed sideways against the still-standing corpse of Vaan, shoving the body off the Oathkeeper (and Roxas named it that himself, because it had not been called like Oblivion but rather created from half-feelings) before slicing both down vertically just as Reks struck. Steel clashed with magic-imbued metal and Oblivion glanced off the blade that Oathkeeper held, thirsting for the blood of another as it sheared the elder brother in half.

The two Keyblades clattered to the ground at Roxas's feet, and he watched disinterestedly as one by one the buildings surrounding him and the two corpses lit up. It was only when the fire began moving toward him that he searched for identity on the young men and found small scraps of paper that confirmed them to be who they were. The Keyblades disappeared after that, but Roxas knew they would come when called for he still felt their lingering weight in his hands – and he had seen the fruit thing and the X (though it had been distorted into a black crown – representation of Sora's other half, no doubt) hanging upon the ends of the strange weapons.

-----

Roxas went into training after that. At first, he fought against Demyx in his practice battles. It was strange that he didn't fight Axel, he thought, since the two were best friends (well, as close to best friends as two Nobodies could get – though Roxas did smile more) as well as being generally partnered up no matter what. It was weird, how Roxas could counteract with a gentle reprimanding the firecracker that was Axel and effectively stop (or at least stall) his mischief.

Demyx was defeated by Roxas after only a few training sessions, and then he moved on to fighting Xaldin. When he defeated the lance-controller as well, Roxas was told to fight Axel. They were best friends, and Roxas heard the red-head complaining about how the Superior wasn't fair before Demyx called for them both to take up their stances. Then the sitar-player dropped his hand and the two met in battle.

Axel was fast and he moved with a liquid grace Roxas had never seen before. The ground underneath their feet became cooled magma with new lava boiling just below. A circle of fire surrounded Roxas and Axel was disappearing through the flames faster than Number XIII could think. Roxas twisted around, eyes darting back and forth as he searched for the lanky man. He only just saw the chakram out of one eye before the wicked spokes were slicing deep into his side and Roxas dropped down with a breathless gasp because that had felt worse than a thousand fires.

Out of tear-clouded eyes, Roxas barely saw its twin coming out of the flames as it wheeled back into them before his head snapped to the left, one sharp spike cutting through his cheek like it was paper and Roxas knew he would die because Axel was a berserker like Saïx just not as bad. He knew that if he had been fighting the lunar-obsessed man, he would be dead by now. But Axel would still kill him because no one could see him, wrapped up in a sphere of fire that was slowly drawing in on him.

But that wouldn't happen, couldn't happen. And Roxas struggled up just as Axel appeared out of the flames, chakrams gripped tightly in both hands and ready to end Roxas in one swoop – and Roxas knew now what happened to those who betrayed the Organization. The other, older Organization members might have been able to hold their own against him during training, but Roxas would not. Not unless he pulled his act together, and quickly.

Both the Oblivion and Oathkeeper were raised in a defensive stance, catching the chakrams before Axel could move them into an attacking position. Then, and his muscles burned, Roxas shoved Axel away a few steps. The tall man stumbled backwards, his feet regaining balance first and his body following and coiling like a snake's. And Roxas saw his weakness and knew how the others stopped him. He followed Axel, slamming the blunt ends of his Keyblades into the red-head's chest, making him cough and gag before cracking his head sharply against the ground that wasn't on fire anymore but simply the hard ceramic tiles when he crumpled down.

Apparently, they had all been watching, because above him stood the rest of the Organization members. And Roxas felt anger spike through him because they would have watched him die. Then someone tapped him on the shoulder and Roxas turned around to find that in reality neither Demyx nor Zexion had been up there, for Demyx was handing him a vial that looked similar to the one Vaan had used, and when he drank it, his wounds disappeared. Zexion was pouring a similar draught into Axel's mouth and then the rest of the Organization members were congratulating Roxas because he truly could hold his own. He wasn't exactly pleased when he learned both Demyx and Xaldin had not been giving their all when he fought them. And then he realized that he didn't care, and that potions (for they were what cured his wounds and such) could not stop him from scarring on his side.

It wasn't until later that same day, with the sky twilight and the castle a shadow, when Axel came. He said he had a killer headache and that Roxas didn't have to hit so hard, laughing hysterically and trying to relieve tension that existed on his side of the current. Then he sobered up because he could have killed Roxas and explained that around the Organization it was almost like there was another part of him – some savage beast that wanted to either dominate or be dominated.

And Roxas quirked a smile and asked softly if he had dominated Axel. The red-head smiled and said, yeah, he had. Then the two sat in silence until Axel asked to accompany Roxas to Twilight Town, a ghost town only just spared. He said that Axel could because it felt right and somehow the pyromaniac had wormed his way deeper into Roxas's not-so-sealed-off heart.

Later, as they watched the sky become alight with fire and gases and tranquility before fading to darkness, they ate sea-salt ice cream and Roxas smiled until his cheeks hurt. Honestly, Roxas had never felt more alive – and his past life became more and more of a distant memory belonging to someone else.

-----

Despite being called Organization XIII, in the middle of May they managed to acquire a fourteenth member – a female named Oni. Roxas could hear her screaming and it had never occurred to him until then that the operation to turn one into a Nobody might be painful. So he set down the book he had been reading and went off to find Zexion's lab, for he had been returned to his room, half-drugged, by a less-than-patient Xemnas. It took many twists and turns, for he was still not accustomed to the higher up levels, before he found the specific room where they were transforming her.

He was allowed entry after knocking quietly and asking for permission to come into the room. When Roxas came inside, it was for the very end of the operation where her body was covered in a thin white cloth with a few empty vials of Hi-Potion sitting beside her in a small silver basket. Xemnas and Zexion and Marluxia stood over her, and Marluxia was speaking softly to where Roxas could only hear a few words: "willful" and "new name" and "abilities" scattered throughout his sentences.

Roxas came closer, unbidden, and he watched as a dark shadow spread from the center of her chest underneath the cloth, cloaking her completely in darkness before the mark of both the Nobodies and the Organization appeared on the skin above her sternum and heart. Then it faded and the blackness bled off her, dripping down the edges of the table she lay on as if dead and slipping between the splits underneath, hissing and spitting as it went to be changed into a Heartless.

She groaned and breathed and Xemnas said her name was Xion and that Roxas and Axel would take care of her because everyone worked in pairs excluding the Superior himself so she would need someone to teach her the ropes. Then he was gone out the door Roxas had only just entered with Marluxia tailing him like a dog following its master and Zexion sighed and set to work putting his room back in order. Roxas watched the older Nobody until he smiled wryly and said Roxas should probably awaken the new Nobody.

He shook her shoulder gently at first, unsure if he should push for her return to consciousness harder. Then her eyes slid open, and (she looked like Kairi) she blinked once. A soft moan found its way past her lips, and Roxas drew closer – examining her and feeling something bubble up in his stomach at the remembrance of one of his friends who had been Sora's best friend. And that memory of Sora was faint and slipping but he chased after it and he might have had it. Except, she chose then to slam a half-formed fist against his chest, just barely missing his face as he jerked back.

And then she was growling and screeching and utterly feral. Zexion made a sound that reminded Roxas of a vague reprimand before easily sliding past her flailing limbs and injecting her arm with some sort of dark liquid. She hissed at that, and Roxas's head withdrew into the protection of his shoulders, he watching and waiting as Xion slowed down and then slumped back on the metal examination table, peacefully sleeping and no longer looking like a wildcat. Roxas stared at her form in shock then rubbed gently at his still-smarting chest, feeling a tiny bruise where she had hit.

Zexion drew in a deep breath before saying softly, "She's a new type of Nobody. The Superior is experimenting with how much free will (which creates better soldiers) we can give our newest members. If she doesn't calm down, Number VIII will have no choice but to execute her." And Roxas must have sucked in his own breath or something because Zexion added in a slightly kinder voice, "You're a long-term project. Number I won't get rid of you that easily, not now that you've proven your worth." And that made Roxas feel so much better (only not), but he didn't say anything and simply gathered the young woman in his arms and stumbled out of the room to deposit her into the newest room that had appeared on the floor above his own.

Xion liked him. She liked Axel too. Demyx was too annoying for her, and the rest were too emotionless. But Axel and Roxas were just right, and somehow she was able to slip into their lives and thoughts easily. They balanced each other, she explained. Despite being generally soft-spoken, topics that involved the compatibility of people were things that she discussed far too eagerly. And, she was neither exactly like Axel nor Roxas but a blend with a bit of spice added in for flavor. Of course, Axel ruined that with his stomach growling and Roxas rolled his eyes, secretly pleased that Xion could understand such things.

But, she was defiant. She was frantic. She was wild. Axel said that if she kept trying to run away the Superior would kill her. And Roxas thought, No, no, she won't run away. She can't. Roxas was her friend, and Axel was as well. Yet, yet, Axel was an adult and he could handle these things without showing weakness which was why Xemnas had picked him, chosen him to kill people first and foremost. Marluxia, Roxas learned, was a last resort – if Axel ever failed and died. But he never did.

Xion was going to get killed, Roxas knew this. She begged him to help her escape – to overthrow the Organization and help the people terrorized by them. And her blue eyes shined brighter than Sora's ever had, and Roxas would shush her with gentle hands and pouting lips. And then she would frown but drop the subject nonetheless. Because Roxas could make her do anything. Except stop running away – because she was stubborn as all hell. It was a delicate sort of situation. And Roxas liked that – because it was like a dangerous little secret that was harmless unless released upon the right sort of person. He shivered with the knowledge of it.

-----

Roxas had only heard little whispers and hushed voices when it came to the mentioning of a new group – dedicated to stopping the Organization completely and utterly. They were all of the older armies and peacekeepers reincarnated into one super-group. Those of the newer Shinra and those from the SOLDIER program and some just so utterly pumped full of Mako that they glowed were a few of the people that consisted of the group. And then there were others, freelancers and mercenaries as well as those that were prodigies with their weapons.

When Roxas encountered this group for the first time, it reminded him vaguely of when he had fought Reks and Vaan. Only, he was stronger and Xion and Axel fought at his side. It was amazing and somewhat ironic that the fourteenth member of the Organization was the possessor of the Keyblade – the Kingdom Key. And she fought just like Roxas – always attacking and planning her next positions while she did follow-ups with her blocks. Axel didn't let any escape.

And they were attacked by hounds – the same type of hounds that had surrounded that newscaster so long ago – but their own Heartless creatures easily took them out. The more mechanical ones, glowing with Mako that fed their intelligence and life, were destroyed by the Lesser Nobodies – Dusks dancing around them before slapping them harshly with Samurais cutting them to pieces.

They were in one of the larger towns, and here defenses were strong. Somehow, Xion and Axel were separated from Roxas. Not that he minded – he simply sliced through building after building with his Keyblades whenever the path he took became blocked. Then there was this call from above and suddenly the ground before him was alight with magic fire – a different kind entirely from Axel's own. A large brunet came hurtling off the building above, sweeping his blade down in one smooth stroke.

Roxas dodged out of the way, eyes darkening as he took up a defensive stance a few yards away. The older man, moving with the experience of someone ancient (though he couldn't have been more than twenty, maybe a few years older) and timeless, began to circle Roxas wearily, blade horizontal. He moved with the motivations of a killer, but one who did so only out of necessity. He looked tired and Roxas was surprised he didn't see wrinkles from stress and a lack of smiling – but he did see the long, thin scar that crossed his face, barely missing his right eye.

And they might have met in combat except that then Roxas heard two voices. One belonged to Xion, hurrying up behind him with her Keyblade ready to strike. The other belonged to someone he thought never to see again, calling out "Leon!" in a way that was anxious and worried and where was that quiet calm? Roxas turned away from Xion's voice and toward the other's, knowing who he would see as the named man also turned to observe the newcomer.

Cloud pulled up short, eyes freezing on Roxas, and he sucked in such a breath that Roxas actually smiled. He turned to face the elder blonde more fully, drawing one arm out by his side in a gesture for Xion to stop. Cloud seemed shocked and happy and so completely lost with the present situation that Roxas started laughing – loudly. What had happened to Cloud in that time that he had been away?

"Oh, Cloud, it's been so long, huh?" Roxas panted as he continued to laugh in a choking way – horrified and amused all at the same time to where his laugh was a rough parody of a laugh because he felt terrible. "Hey, how's Sora doing?" And then he paled suddenly, amusement falling away so completely and flatness left in his eyes. "You need to leave, now."

And Cloud stared at him until Roxas's patience snapped and he threw the Oblivion Keyblade at Cloud, the older man flinching back as though he had been burned. It clattered across the ground, making a noise that frayed Roxas's nerves because he didn't want to see Cloud dead. He would not see Cloud die, damn it. He silently called the Oblivion back to his hand and this time took aim with it. The dark Keyblade sliced through the air, whistling before screeching as it met a tall skyscraper, sliding through it cleanly and returning like a boomerang to Roxas's hand.

Just as it entered his palm, Roxas threw the Oathkeeper, sending it at an angle to where it met the already weakened building and sent it tumbling down directly in Cloud's path, cutting him off completely. Then that man, Leon, was snarling some sort of obscenity and Roxas was meeting his gunblade (that's what it was) with the Oblivion screaming for its twin. Leon must have forgotten about Roxas's ability to call back his weapons, because Oathkeeper was causing Leon to grunt in pain as it dug deep into his back before disappearing with fading stars of magic and returning to Roxas's hand with another small explosion in the next second.

And Leon might have died but Xion called out and Roxas stepped nimbly aside to avoid a dark-haired man with a sword come striking out at him from nowhere. He shoved the man with the heel of his hand, pushing him into Leon and causing him to cry out "Hey!" before Roxas had hold of Xion and was dragging her away from the two. He vaguely heard the reunion of Cloud and the others (because it wouldn't take long for Cloud to find a way past the building) and shouts of his name. But if he looked back, went back, either he or Cloud would be dead. That couldn't happen, so he chose to run.

-----

After that, he returned back to the Organization and Xemnas decided that he couldn't be left with memories of times past. Rather, he would not remember the days gone by until at least a week later. So Roxas didn't remember Cloud until a week had passed, and he could only remember. His body was controlled by a nothing that could not think for its self. Wrapped up in memories, Roxas was detached from his body and barely grasped his mind from time to time.

Xion became upset, so upset. She begged Axel to fix it, to fix him. Roxas was a mindless zombie that would stare at her blankly with no spark of life or anything. And, Xion knew that she would gain a similar fate if Xemnas ever discovered her attempts at getting Roxas to rebel. So, she ran one last time. On the night that she left, she said goodbye to Roxas one more time, and Roxas stared at her and said nothing.

Axel came in later, told Roxas that he was going to get Xion, with none of the exasperation that he normally showed, and all the soberness of a priest about to perform an exorcism. Then, he too left Roxas alone, to be watched by Demyx and taunted (to no avail) by Larxene. When Axel came back, without Xion (and Roxas only noticed this later), he said nothing, just sighed and ruffled Roxas's hair and said he was lucky to be cloaked in memories of the good days. And later, Roxas would think bitterly that Axel was wrong – when most of his memories were bad.

The latest memory was the worst though – Xion was dead, killed by Axel. And Xemnas had shown her body to the whole Organization, to show what happened to traitors. She looked like she was sleeping, except that she wasn't. There was no blood, because Axel had been gentle and quick about it. Then Xemnas smiled pityingly at Roxas and removed Roxas from his memories, dumping him back into his body.

And the youngest Nobody was almost crying, sniffling and rubbing at his eyes because he knew that Xemnas expected him to cry and show emotion. Axel dragged him away, and Roxas didn't see Xion's body again. He just sat in Axel's room, hollow-eyed and completely dead inside; with not even a flicker of life except for the shallow breaths he expelled and took in every so often. The red-head watched him sympathetically but did nothing to comfort Roxas because he felt as bad as the blonde, Roxas could see it reflected in his peridot eyes.

Then Roxas started talking, rambling, because it felt good to talk and he needed to ask Axel questions and get answers and just say some things both to be spiteful and because he felt them to be true. He first asked a question and it was: "Do you have those tattoos because you can't cry for everyone you've killed?" And Axel shook his head sadly and said that it was a constant reminder because tears weren't enough to wash away a Nobody's sins.

Then Roxas laughed quietly and stood up, because he felt sick and he didn't want to talk anymore because the answers were too confusing and he might just puke. And the world lurched terrifyingly to where he cursed softly. When everything wasn't spinning anymore, Roxas dragged himself to the door, stopping to say that no one would miss him, the same way no one would miss any of the other Nobodys when they were gone. And Axel regained some of his color as he replied fiercely that such a thing wasn't true.

Then Roxas gave him a sort of pitying smile and said that yeah, it was. And he left to return to his room because now that he could remember with his memories no longer scrambled and mixed but in the right order he would try to commit every aspect of Xion to memory. After that, he would get to work on doing the same with Cloud and – his heart leapt to think about it – Sora as well. Because he was a terrible excuse for a person (even if he wasn't one) and they all deserved some part of his mind. If he had time and if his brain didn't start to hurt, he would do that for the rest as well.

-----

Xion had told him once that the memories that he held were his best friends. And Roxas began to remember everything, struggled to remember everything. Except Sora – because Sora was the one person he didn't want to remember him. Sora would be ashamed to see him like this: a cracked, breaking version of his younger brother.

He imagined Namine first, how he would explain what he was. She would nod and give that faint half-smile that made him love her because she understood. And then she would invite him to sit down, relax – recover from his painful experiences while she drew. He would close his eyes; she would giggle quietly and say that he looked almost like a little chick – with his blonde hair – and he would wrinkle his nose because obviously she was lying so completely that it wasn't even funny except that it kinda was and he would smile. They would be all right, because that was how the two fit.

Then he would tell Hayner. The spaz would probably puff his cheeks out and say that Roxas was crazy. Then he'd grin and start going on about random shit that no one cared about and Roxas would snort in annoyance because the teenager was always like that. Then, they'd somehow get on the topic of Roxas's fighting capabilities and Hayner would challenge him to a fight to completely erase all bad feelings from him.

Pence and Olette would confront him together, because they played off of each other to get the same amount of energy that Hayner generated. Olette would be down to earth in her approach, smiling and nodding in a way reminiscent to Namine's reaction, except that Olette wasn't quite as powerful in her words. Then Pence would pep her up with his own added outbursts that were like a watered-down version of Hayner's own. And they would accept him just as easily as Hayner and Namine had.

After that would be Kairi, and she would stand there – staring at him with her hands on her hips like he was stupid or something. And when he ran out of words and just watched her shoes she would huff with exasperation and say that he was silly because everyone made mistakes and would continue to make them. Then he would point out that his wasn't just some little thing like accidently eating all the cake before the birthday party or something like that. Then she would shake her head and say that he was making a mountain out of a molehill. And he would point out that he killed two people, and she would remind him that if he hadn't they would have killed him. She'd pet him on his head and tell him to think on it because everything was all right.

Riku would be after Kairi and he would treat Roxas like a clone of Sora – and he was – but he didn't have the same personality. So Roxas would balk underneath Riku's careless tones and the whole "everyone can forgive you" because that was Sora, not him. But then, Riku would come to his senses. Then he'd add kindly that really, Roxas and Sora were different people but Roxas was stronger and he'd be able to handle this and move on. And Roxas would feel better because it was like he was implying that Roxas was better at something than Sora when they had almost always been the same.

And Sora would – but Sora didn't need to see him anymore so – Cloud would say that it wasn't his fault. Roxas would say that it was. Then Cloud would roll his eyes and say that if he wanted to believe that, he could. However, he needed to make sure that the guilt didn't burden him down. And by now, Roxas could see Cloud's expression so perfectly that it was almost comical, when compared to how Cloud had looked just recently. He revised his vision of Cloud to where it was instead hugging him to death and started chuckling because he knew that Cloud had only reacted like that because of everything that had been happening. Cloud would most likely kill him if he ever got to hear about how Roxas thought he would react.

And Roxas sorted through his memories until he came upon another bite of information. He was fifteen today and without any smoke or candles or cake or anyone to celebrate it with, Roxas settled down on his bed, swinging his feet back and forth as he watched the carpet. "Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to you: Roxas, Sora, happy birthday to us…"

Happy Birthday – Moon and Sun.


Perfect Image: Due to a loss of three pages worth of work and an unexpected addition, this chapter was also out later. The next one will probably be out by Sunday if I'm not extremely busy. The consensus says that I will be, but nothing's impossible.

I'm sorry about Reks and Vaan dying. I kinda needed two brothers though and they were the first ones I thought of. As for Leon, Cloud, and Zack (yeah, that was Zack) – well, Zack was supposed to be wounded instead of Leon, but the circumstances wouldn't allow it. And Xion…oh geeze…I'm currently psyching myself out. I have no clue if I did her correctly or not (I only have so much to go on until the actual game comes out), but I knew she had to die before Roxas could see Sora again. Umm, yeah, next chapter Roxas meets Sora again…you'll all hate me. I can guarantee that right now. Happy Turkey Day, by the way.

Disclaimer: The characters from Square Enix are not mine and I do not claim them as mine. The story and concept are mine, however, so if someone wishes to write a story (or create an RPG) based upon the setting I've developed, please remember to credit me.