James The Lesser Presents Vinny Lane

Vinny was on the bus next to Daria.

They were going to the Mall of the Millennium. It had all started with...

Quinn whined at the table. "But Mo-om! It is my duty as Vice President of the Fashion Club to be as up to date as possible!"

Helen crushed her dreams so Quinn tried Jake. Being Quinn, she did it within ear shot of Helen who again said no.

That conversation must have been implanted in Daria's mind. It was the only explanation for her mentioning it in class.

And now, they were on a field trip, to the mall. Vinny looks out the window. "Beats Algebra."

"That's only because you hate math."

"I don't hate math. Hate is such a strong word. I consider it more like loathing than hate."

The two smell the teen spirit of Kevin and Brittany.

Vinny tries to ignore it but can't. "Don't those two ever take a break?"

"I don't want to know what they do when they aren't kissing."

Vinny comments he kissed a girl in seventh grade on a dare.

Daria gives him a look. "I've kissed no one and have no plans to in the near or far future."

Vinny is a little shocked. "Really?"

"What?"

"I'm just surprised you've never been kissed. You are pretty in an unconventional kind of way.

"Don't make this awkward." She moves away. Barely an inch as they didn't have much room on the bus seat but he got the message.

I better salvage this. "I'm just saying, from an artist's perspective, your face is very unique especially with the glasses. I'd love the chance to do a full sketch with you actually posing."

She relaxes a little. "Maybe."

I know how your family operates. "Twenty bucks?"

"Like you have that."

I got her now. "I could get it if I had to."

When they get to the mall they have to ride a trolley. Vinny isn't sure what caused it, the smell of teen spirit or the bumpy ride, but Daria turned a very interesting color before spewing her breakfast over the side. "Oh, now that's an image I could paint."

She wipes her mouth before glaring. "I'll kill you in your sleep."

He smirks as he comes up with an idea. "Well, if you don't want that to be your immortal painting, maybe one of your face when it isn't a shade of green?"

"Fine, you get your sketch."

When they, and the rest of the class, enter the mall Daria and Vinny are bombarded with noise and colors and bright lights.

The majority of the class seemed fascinated by the dazzling displays of consumerism. Vinny was amused by the faces he was trying to remember for a future sketch.

Ms. Bennet seemed to be pushing the class to some meeting when she got distracted by some horribly fad collectibles.

She took a minute to oggle the collectibles before moving the class to a conference room.

Vinny was bored and sketching when Daria got his attention and whispered. "Hey, do you think that might be a two way mirror?"

Vinny looks up and sees Brittany using the reflection to check her... Hair. Yes, her hair. "You mean the kind where if you turn the lights off you can see through?" Daria nods. "Like," He sees a switch. Weird place for that. He flicks it and the lights turn off.

On the other side of the mirror was in fact several men in business suits.

One of the men from the mall in the room plays with his tie. "Uh, this was uh, a live example of some thing a major place of business like the Mall of the Millennium might do."

Daria replies. "Aren't people usually paid for focus group work?"

Vinny and Daria were both surprised when Jodie spoke up. "I feel violated. I don't know if I can trust a place like the Mall of the Millennium and should tell others about these underhanded practices."

The man in the suit pulls coupons out of his pocket. "Twenty dollars for every one."

Jodie, along with the rest, get up to get a free coupon. Vinny overhears Daria talk to Jodie. "What about your feelings of being violated?"

"Hey, twenty bucks is twenty bucks."

Vinny notices the look from Daria when he stands up. "What? Like the lady said, twenty bucks is twenty bucks." I better grab her one. Twenty bucks is twenty bucks.

After the feeding frenzy over coupons, Ms. Bennet gave every one assignments. Vinny and Daria got the flow of the food court.

The flow was simple. "Hungry people go in, full people come out." Being near the food court and getting the aromas of multiple styles gets his stomach to rumble. "Would you like to participate with me?"

"No. I don't trust my stomach."

She has to be hungry since most of her breakfast ended up on the pavement. "Then I'll order a large chili cheese fries and you can pick at it."

As they walked towards a food line, Vinny and Daria saw some one very unexpected. Is that who I think it is? He was taller and could see over the crowd near the line better than Daria. "Is that Quinn?"

Daria cranes her neck and sees. "Yes, yes it is. On a school day and not on a field trip."

"Oh, this could be good."

The two walk over and Daria taps Quinn on the shoulder. "Guy, I said not to," She turns and sees Daria. "Eep!"

Daria smirks. "So little sister, why am I so surprised to see you?"

"I, uh, um," Quinn looks back at her friends. "What do you want?"

Daria turns to Vinny. "What should we get?"

He looks at her and sees that while she looked better than before she still wasn't normal. "Hmm, your sister got a ride here didn't she? Maybe we could get a ride back."

"But, I, all of my friends won't fit if you're with us. Unless you want my sister sitting in your lap."

Ooo, bad call Quinn. "He is just a friend!"

"And she's right. I don't think I want to be trapped with the Fashion Fiends. Even if it means not being on the bus. Besides, some one will have to tell the teachers that you got a ride home from your parents after falling ill."

Quinn looks at her sister. "Ok, a ride home, for you."

"Hmm," Daria shares a look with Vinny before turning back to Quinn. "As sick as I am, I might need to take it easy for a week or four. If some one did all the chores for a month that might be enough."

"A month?! Daria, you can't be serious!"

"Just imagine how long you'll be grounded from the mall, any mall, once mom finds out you ditched school to come here."

"Fine! A ride home and I'll do chores for a month."

Vinny is surprised when Daria almost smiles. Not a curl of the lips or even a half smile but an honest full smile. Of course, it was gone faster than a blink of the eye.

Deciding they had enough fun in the food court, they leave with out getting any food and walk away.

They wandered the mall and found the Scissor Wizard, a place Vinny had a coupon for. He needed a good pair of scissors after the last pair had an, accident, with a blow torch.

When they walked in he realized we wasn't going to get a pair. It was a hair styling place. His short hair needed little work.

The stylist saw Daria however and her eyes lit up. "With your thick, long, hair I could do so much with it! What would you like? I can do a show, or movie, or would you like some thing special?"

"Uh, actually," Vinny pulls out his coupon. "I just want a pair of scissors. If you don't sell them we'll leave."

"Oh, don't worry dear, your girlfriend will still love you even after I'm done making,"

With so many dangerous and sharp objects around, the woman was lucky she wasn't harmed by Daria. "I am not his girlfriend. We're just friends. And no one touches my hair but me."

Dejected, the woman turns back to Vinny. "Well, your hair is really too short to do much. If you want to do more than the butch look come back. I can do any show or movie you like."

Vinny rubs his chin. "What about the episode of When Animals Attack with the moose?"

Daria continues. "Make sure you get the clumps of dirt in there."

"Uh, maybe..." The woman surrenders any chance of working on either of them.

Vinny whistles as they leave. "Twenty bucks. Too bad you already negotiated to do a sketch for me or this would have been yours."

Daria simply looks at her coupon. "Doodad shop? What's a doodad?" Vinny shrugs his shoulders.

"Maybe they'll give you cash for it."

"I'd rather not risk going in there." Daria throws the coupon in the nearest trash can.

"Hey, twenty bucks is twenty bucks!" Vinny grabs the coupon. "If you don't want to go, I will."

Daria rolls her eyes. "Fine, what ever."

When they find the doodad shop, Vinny walks in and... An alarm goes off. "I didn't steal any thing!"

Employees mob him throwing confetti and blowing noise makers. "You're the millionth customer!" They stuff his arms full of doodads and take a picture with him.

Daria is clearly amused by what happened to him. He is overloaded with doodads and that's even with out cashing in his twenty dollar coupon.

As the day gets late, the two have to go separate ways. Vinny tries to dump off some of his doodads on Daria but she refuses. "Fine, I'll..." I have no idea what to do with all of this junk.

Daria sees some of their fellow classmates coming. "I better go meet up with my sister and the Fashion Fiends if I don't want to miss my ride."

"You enjoy the car ride. Alone. With them." Her glare makes him smile. "There was a reason I didn't want a ride back with them."

"Maybe I should just bite the bullet and take the bus."

Vinny holds his hands up. "Oh no, you're not puking on me. I've had to clean enough out of my clothes when driving the band from gigs."

"Drive? You don't even have your temps."

"So? Just because I can't drive legally doesn't mean I can't drive."

Daria looks back the way they came. "You have fun with your doodads. I have a car to catch."

"See ya Daria." Vinny watches her walk away before going over to his fellow classmates. What the hell, I don't want them. "Who wants a free doodad?"

"Ooo!" Brittany, as others, mobbed him for their free doodad.

A/N Hmm, much shorter than actual show but moving focus from Daria to Vinny changes a lot. Maybe I can get all of these done a lot faster than a normal episode and get more posted. If I'm doing the Vinny Lane I'm ignoring my College Pains. But had all these ideas and I'm debating how I want to go with this. Two paths, one easily traversed, the other... Not so much.