My dearest Nico,
By the time you read this I should have left and you may have already worked it out but I wanted to be the one to tell you anyway. The last few months have been really hard and I know they have for you as well but somehow you seem to be coping with it better.
Going through Tartarus has got to be the hardest thing I've ever done, closely followed by the countless times I've nearly lost you. When I heard that you were in a jar living off pomegranate seeds it almost broke my heart and we hadn't even told each other how we felt yet.
At night I still have nightmares, I don't think they'll ever stop. But the one nightmare I have most is the one where I don't get to you on time and you give up waiting for me to find you. You run out of seeds and I don't save you and you die forever thinking that I'm useless.
I can't stand it anymore Neeks, the nightmares, the pressure of being a son of one of the Big Three, the never ending battle with the constant stream of monsters and challenges. I cant do it. I've tried so hard so act normal around you all so that none of you suspect anything but it's tiring to always hide behind a mask and sometimes I let my guard down but you always saw straight through me. I felt so weak. I've survived so much, longer than I thought I would and a simple thing like keeping my feelings in check is the biggest issue.
A few weeks ago I finally decided that I couldn't live like this anymore so I challenged Luke to a battle. My hope is that after I won't have to worry about any of this anymore. Luke is a strong fighter but this time I'm not going to fight back.
I really am sorry Nico. I love you so much and I desperately wish that I didn't have to leave you but I don't know how else to carry on. I just want you to know that my favourite moments all involve you whether it's the geeky 10 year old obsessed with Mythomagic or the strong handsome, fabulous god that you are now, you are my favourite person and I'm so glad I met you.
We've had ups and downs but that's just made us stronger and I hope you have an amazing life. Remember I'll always be there for you whenever you need me. I love you forever
Stay strong my beautiful boy
Percy Jackson xxx