Hi everyone!

For personal reasons I don't want to get into, I had to stop writing for a while… but recently one of you left me a lovely comment (as a guest, so I can't thank you personally!) on this story asking me to continue it. So, for those of you who are still with me, I promise to commit to updating at least once a week!

Let me know what you all think in the reviews, I'm still getting back into the swing of this :)

Finn was in deep shit. And he knew it.

Even without going through basic human resources training when he entered the CIA, he knew the dumbest thing an agent could do was compromise themselves by getting romantically involved with a colleague. Especially another field agent. He could very likely be asked to choose between the mission and the girl one of these days… and he wasn't allowed to pick the girl.

Not that he was involved with Rachel. But god, did he want to be.

Deep. Shit.

Rachel's acting lessons had become the thing he most looked forward to every day. They'd settled into a sort of routine, like any married couple would. A fake couple, but still. He'd wake up bright and early, get his workout in with Puck at headquarters and then return home to start the kettle before jumping in the shower. Rachel would arrive around nine, usually carrying some kind of breakfast with her, and the two would eat and chat idly about things they saw on TV or on the street. Rachel would drink tea, curled up on the couch with her tiny legs tucked under her, and Finn would settle for orange juice as he sat on the cushion next to her.

He'd tried, valiantly, to like tea but it tasted like grass clippings to him. Rachel had called him out on it when she caught him wincing as he sipped his drink, so he'd stopped forcing it and switched beverages. But he saw the way her eyes lit up happily every time he handed her the fresh drink, so he'd insisted on it every morning anyways. He'd even kind of figured out how long the little bag thing was supposed to sit in the water before it was exactly how Rachel liked it. He chalked it up to preparing for 'Brad', since he'd know exactly how his wife 'Janet' liked her tea…

But really, he did it for Rachel. Most things he did lately were for her.

After they finished their breakfast, they'd launch right into their work. They'd been working together about two weeks, in which time he was pretty sure he'd gotten monumentally better. He was able to lie convincingly to Puck now, which came in handy when he was trying to throw his best friend off Rachel's trail. He'd make up bullshit about how he was meeting Rachel one place, but they'd really be at another. He'd lie and say she was sick, when she was sitting in the next room reading their mission file. He'd actually done a fair job of running interference, now that Rachel had given him the skills to do it. It made him feel… proud of himself, that he could protect her like that. Because seriously, protecting a woman from Puck was a feat. And Rachel was no ordinary woman. He didn't exactly blame his friend for chasing after her… if he could, he would too. Not that he thought he stood a chance, but he'd try. She was the kind of person that made Finn want to try things that scared him. For her. To see her smile, to make her proud of him.

This morning was no different. He'd managed to convince Puck at the gym that Rachel was visiting family in Florida and wouldn't be back for a week, ensuring peace and quiet for a change while he and his partner worked. Partner. He couldn't believe there had even been a millisecond in his life when he'd questioned having Rachel as a partner. She had swept into his life like a hurricane, turning over everything he thought he knew. Not that he was upset by it – every minute he spent in her presence, Rachel drew him in more and more. The idle crush started by her videos had blossomed into something that … well…

Put him in deep shit.

Rachel knocked on the door at exactly 9:02 AM, and when he opened the door Rachel thrust a brown paper bag into his hands. "Here, I got you a bagel with cream cheese…" she grinned, which prompted Finn to raise his eyebrows. He knew Rachel was a vegan, from all the meals they'd had together. This was the first time she'd brought him something she couldn't share. Rachel shrugged at his expression, smiling affectionately at him. "What?... I know you like them." she offered as explanation, lightly placing a hand on his arm as she moved past him into the kitchen to get her tea.

A warm, tingling sensation spread up Finn's arm from the spot where she'd touched him. It seeped into his very bones, racing up to his shoulder blades like lightning. It radiated out through his whole body, making his cheeks flush and his heart rate quicken. He tightened his grip on the bag she'd handed him and rolled his shoulders, needing even just that small outlet for the sudden rush of nervous energy the tiny action had given him.

Fuck. He was like a preschooler with her.

"Thanks, Rachel." Finn said with a smile when she reappeared, taking his normal seat on the couch and immediately diving into his food. She idly blew on her tea, still standing in the doorway as she observed him. He was several bites into his breakfast when he realized she still hadn't joined him. "… What?" he asked, his mouth unceremoniously full of food. Rachel smiled softly at that, placing the tea down on the coffee table before walking over to him. There was a glint in her eyes that he couldn't place; not mischief per say, but she was definitely planning something that made her nervous. But Rachel was the master and he was the student. If he could conceal secrets as effectively as he could with just two weeks of her help, imagine how well she could hide things.

That was what killed him, honestly. Finn was an open book with Rachel. In those two weeks, he'd told her all about his mom back in Ohio. How his father had died, what his new step-father and brother were like. He'd told her all about his friends, his schools, the things he liked to do for fun. Rachel had listened with genuine interest, asking lots of questions and laughing at the funny stories. Finn had quite literally shared all the major points of his life with her. Well, except when it came to Quinn. But he wasn't quite sure how to open the 'ex-files' with her without inviting the specter of Jesse into the air.

He'd done all of this without the condition that she reciprocate; he'd told her, she didn't have to talk about her own past if she didn't want to. And despite how close they'd gotten in two weeks, it was still quite clear that she didn't want to. But to Finn's great relief (and personal pride), the number of times she'd allowed that dark cloud to overshadow her were dwindling every day. She smiled more, laughed more. Finn liked to think that he was helping her as much as she was helping him, but he couldn't be sure. Snapping out of that train of thought, he turned his attention back on Rachel, who had since taken a seat next to him on the couch.

"I think today we should work on physical contact." she said directly, looking right into his eyes.

Finn immediately choked on the piece of bagel in his mouth, causing him to sputter and gasp ungracefully for air. Rachel's eyes widened immediately in surprise as Finn pounded on his own chest before sucking down half his glass of orange juice. He groaned with relief when oxygen flooded his lungs again before turning his equally shocked gaze back on Rachel. "… What?"

"You know, get used to each other. We're going to be husband and wife, you can't be… you know, timid to touch me." Rachel explained, subtly blushing herself before looking away and clearing her throat. Finn blushed right back, nodding his head and waiting for Rachel to take the lead on this.

She had a point – married couples, especially newlyweds, were always very touchy-feely with each other. It would blow their cover immediately if they weren't physically comfortable with each other. Hell, her touching his shoulder had all but caused him to have a heart attack earlier. That was hardly normal for a couple who had been 'together' for four years. But Finn was most fascinated by that blush on her cheeks… if she didn't have any feelings for him like he had for her, why would she blush? Surely she could control that if she didn't want him to see it, she was the actress here… right?

"Here…" Rachel offered, holding out her tiny hand to his. "Start with the basics. Hold my hand."

Finn swallowed hard and cleared his throat before nodding, trying to appear as level headed as he could before reaching out and taking her hand. His was so much larger than hers, he almost instantly lost sight of her fingers under the bulk of his palm. But he could feel the warm weight of her hand in his, which sent shockwaves through his system. His heart hammered like he'd just finished a marathon, his lungs struggled to take air in, and more nervous energy than he knew what to do with raged in his muscles.

He dared glance away from their joined hands back up at Rachel, who was looking at their hands with a soft smile. The one, he'd come to realize, she reserved for him. He only ever saw it in these quiet moments in the morning they shared, when they were alone and off the clock. Not even, in all of his research into her relationship with Jesse (that he regretted, trust me), had he ever seen her look this way in photos. The sight of it somewhat calmed his racing pulse, which just made him groan internally.

The girl could literally control his heart. Make it race, make it slow… he was at her mercy. Fucking hell.

Without saying anything to him, Rachel shifted their hands so that their fingers intertwined. A more intimate grip, one that allowed him to see the way their hands fit together. Her skin was so soft, just like he'd imagined it would be that first day he saw her in the office. Her hands were small, but her grip was strong and sure; she was his equal, holding him just as tightly as he was holding her. The silence between them seemed to stretch on for ages, Rachel staring at their hands with that smile on her lips… and Finn staring at her, an equally sweet and mindless smile mirrored back at her.

"Is this… okay?" Finn asked after a while, desperate to hear her voice again. The sound of it soothed him, warmed his very soul even if she had no idea. Rachel raised her head, locking eyes with him again as she shook her head as if to regain focus. His words had visibly tugged her out of a daydream, and Finn wanted to kick himself for that. He should've just enjoyed the moment; who knew when he'd get another one with her like that?

"Yeah… Yeah, if this feels comfortable we can, uhh.." Rachel paused, awkwardly clearing her throat before nodding, "We can move on to something else."

Finn frowned in disappointment, but tried to do so when Rachel wasn't looking. "Okay." he agreed, still mentally berating himself for what an idiot he was. Rachel slowly tugged her hand out of his at that, smoothing out her skirt before standing and gesturing for him to do the same. She'd kicked off her heels at the door, so her head barely came up to his shoulder. Rachel had to tilt her head back almost at a forty-five degree angle just to make eye contact with him, and he found himself craning his neck down so their eyes actually met.

Rachel seemed to have momentarily gone back into work mode, whatever real moment they'd had on the couch pushed to the side. She tapped her chin, making a small noise in thought as she glanced the two of them over. "You're so much taller than me… and we want to play off that dynamic of the innocent and the protector…" she told him, although it was clear she was mostly speaking to herself as she tried to come up with what to try next. "Can you pick me up?" she asked him after another momentary pause, tilting her head. Finn made a face at the question, not understanding why she'd ask. First of all, he lifted 300 pounds in the gym and Rachel couldn't possibly weigh more than 110 on a bad day. Second of all… what did that have to do with anything?

"Uhh… Of course, why?" Finn asked, trying desperately to catch onto her train of racing thoughts as he watched them play across her face.

"Because I think it would look sweet if you did that when you hug me." Rachel explained, her tone of voice all business. Not the soft, melodic sound he'd come to associate with their chats. The stern, business voice he knew from lessons. It kind of broke his heart a little to hear her talk about them hugging so clinically, like it was a problem to be solved. But that's what he got for breaking cardinal rule #1 and starting to fall for a co-worker, he supposed. This was supposed to be clinical, an act.

But Finn wasn't acting as he leaned down and wrapped his strong arms around Rachel's waist, hoisting her into his arms and pressing her to his chest. He was acting on instinct, doing what his body wanted and his heart craved. Rachel had responded by wrapping her arms tightly around his neck, resting her head on his shoulder. He could feel her breath on his skin through his t-shirt, which caused him to shiver. Rachel could no doubt feel that, since they were pressed together so tightly, which made his face burn crimson. But this might be one of the last times he got to hold her without an audience, so fake or not? Finn didn't want to waste it.

He tightened the grip ever so slightly, bowing his own head to bury it into her hair. He closed his eyes, breathing in the scent of her strawberry shampoo and relishing the feeling of having this incredible woman all to himself. He didn't deserve her, he knew he didn't. She was born to be a star, to be shared with her thousands of adoring fans, but… Finn wanted her to himself. Like this, as long as he could have her. Safe and protected, locked away from whatever made her so upset. He sighed into her hair, allowing himself this one brief moment of acknowledging his feelings before he was going to man up and let her and his fantasies go.

As he did that, all the tension seemed to drain from Rachel's body. She held him more naturally now, sliding into the space in his arms that fit her like a puzzle piece. He opened his eyes in shock to feel her small fingers moving up the back of his neck to gingerly tangle in the short hairs there. She began to idly massage that skin, as if comforting him or… or maybe something else…

"Rach?" he asked, swallowing hard to fight back the waves of unspoken attraction and affection running through him that were cutting off his air supply. She didn't answer him with words. Instead, she subtly picked her head up, rubbing her cheek against his as she pulled back just far enough to look into his eyes.

"You know, you can kiss me if you want to." she said in a low whisper, and Finn had to stare hard at her expression to decide what his answer would be.

He knew he'd have to kiss her eventually, they were playing a married couple. But something just… didn't feel right to him about kissing her when there was nothing behind it (or there wasn't supposed to be). It just wasn't his style; he wouldn't take random girls home in college, and he wouldn't kiss Rachel if she didn't genuinely want to be kissed.

Finn's heart rate slowed to a peaceful hum as he took in the look in Rachel's eyes. An unguarded, emotional and hopeful gaze stared right back. A little fear reflected in her eyes when he didn't answer right away, and it was like he could see her start to rebuild the walls around her. "I want to." Finn said slowly, taking his time with leaning in before their lips connected.

He couldn't articulate what he felt when he kissed her even if he tried. It was like every nerve, every fiber of his being jumped to celebrate at the same time leaving his body buzzing and his mind completely clouded. Like it had been overwhelmed and the system totally shut down from overload. The kiss was slow and sensual, Rachel's hands lifting to cradle the back of his head as he kept his firm grip around the small of her back. He could feel himself falling further and further into her, surrendering bits of himself to her he'd been almost positive he'd never part with again after Quinn. It stretched on and on… until Finn tried to put her back on her feet, so he could change where he had his hands.

Being on her feet again seemed to snap Rachel back to reality, causing her to pull away from the kiss with a gasp. Her tiny hands flew up to cover her mouth in shock, and for the second time that day Finn knew he'd ruined the moment. A genuine moment. Not a teaching moment, not a 'Brad' and 'Janet' moment… Rachel had kissed Finn. Just as themselves, for no other reason than she had wanted to.

For all he didn't know about her, he now knew this; somewhere, under all the painful layers she had yet to share with him… she felt it too. He wasn't crazy, he hadn't imagined all the smiles and thoughtful gestures in the last two weeks or ascribed meaning to them that hadn't been there. He hadn't invented the magnetism between them as a way to make himself feel less like a creepy fan and more like her partner… She wasn't unattainable. She wanted him too. He might not be the brightest guy, but Finn did seem to have a high IQ when it came to matters of the heart. And he knew, without a shred of doubt in his soul, that Rachel felt the way he felt. Award-winning actress or not… he knew no one could kiss like that and not mean it. Not even Rachel was that good.

So they were both fucked. At least he wasn't alone.

"I should go." Rachel said with a sudden gasp, backpedaling away from him quickly and scooping up her jacket by the door. Finn shook out of his reverie, heart pounding in fear.

"What? No, Rachel don't go." he begged her, following her towards the door as fast as he could.

"No, I shouldn't have… I'm so sorry, I can't." she said with a shiver, emotion barely concealed in her voice as she opened and shut his door, racing down the stairs.

"Rachel! Wait, please! Dammit!" Finn screamed, ripping open his closet and tugging on the first pair of shoes he saw before snagging his keys and dashing after her. But by the time he made it to the street, Rachel was gone. He could vaguely see a taxi racing away in the distance, but he had no idea where it was going or if Rachel was even in it. The feeling of her lips still tingled freshly on his own, and he stood there for a minute unsure of how to feel.

Rachel wanted him.

Rachel refused to be with him.

Rachel was his fake wife, set to depart for England in just over a week. A role that would require a lot more holding, touching, kissing…

Rachel's feelings for him could get them killed.

Finn's feelings for her could get them killed.

It was still a mystery what had happened to Rachel, why she was helping the CIA, what she was really thinking…

The only mystery where Finn was concerned was how it was possible he'd fallen in love so fast.