Emergency Induction Port Chapter 4, a mass effect fanfic

Beep

Peace… A rhythmic hum muffled through pain suppressants and a cocktail of numbing agents…

A calming voice, similarly distorted. The words are lost, but the tone is comforting…

Beep

Something beeps insistently in the background…

A pale face appears, blurred through a purple filter. The features are indistinct, the expression indiscernible…

Beep

A low hiss, like decompression…

Lips on his cheek. They are soft, and cool….

Beep

Words are whispered in his ear…

He feels a flutter in his stomach…

Beep

A hand is laid upon his shoulder, caring, hopeful, nurturing…

Even loving perhaps…

Fire and blood crashed through the peace. Fire from burning inferno of the explosion; blood from tears in his armor. The air was filled with a terrible cacophony of noise; screams of the dying, barked commands from officers, shouts and curses, the hard hiss/pop of auto cannon fire, the roar of jet engines and grav-tanks, and deafening explosions.

There is no pain; no physical pain at least. The psychological pain, the horror of failure burned like an open wound in his mind. Most of the crimson drying on his armor was not his own. He didn't know the names of the civilians and marines whose grizzly flesh and viscera now cover his armor; he didn't want to know. Slowly-too slowly- his vision swam back into a hazy focus. There was a constant loud ringing in his ear and when he called out to any survivors, his own voice rumbled in his skull as if from a great distance. Shepard tasted copper in his mouth and swallowed hard; his head was still dizzy and he blinked to clear his vision.

A few memories flashed in his mind. The explosion had torn a complete hole in the defensive line, obliterating barricades and bodies in a tidal wave of fire. Shepard felt anger pumping through his veins, but for every drop that was directed at the Batarian slavers there was a drop directed inward. If only he had been quicker, if only his aim had been better. He had seen the varen warhound charge through the defenders hail of fire, wearing a vest packed with impact charges. He had screamed into the vox and fired the last clip from his pistol. Every shot had struck true, but it had not been enough.

The varen had reached the lines, and the batarians detonated the charges. It had been like standing in a firestorm. Shepard gripped the nearest object above him, unwilling to look to see if it was a piece of rebar protruding from the blasted barricade, or bone from one of the mangled defenders. The ringing in his ear gradually faded only to be replaced with the constant buzz of his broken vox-radio.

Shepard tore the battered helmet from his head, grimacing as a piece of glass from his broken visor tore the skin above his right eye. Pain throbbed through his left hand and he glanced down. A piece of shrapnel had punctured his armor and pushed clear through his hand to burst out the other side. The appendage twitched and he found he couldn't flex any of the fingers. Strangely there was no pain; the adrenaline rushing through his body kept all injuries from his mind. A shout drew his attention before he could inspect the rest of his body. There, through the clearing smoke, a figure emerged. Even with his limited knowledge of xenos, he can recognize the snarling maw and slanted dark eyes.

A vorcha. The creature-he couldn't bring himself to use the word person- snarled its hate and bloodlust at him. Instead of drawing a pistol and finishing him off like a trained warrior would, the vorcha drew a serrated blade from its belt. The blade was curved and lined with hooks designed to tear and flay skin from bones. More figures began to emerge from the smoke. Vorcha, batarians, varen and even a massive krogan. Even with his eyesight blurry from the concussion he knew he had, Shepard counted at least two dozen hostiles.

Shepard looked around desperately for a moment, finally seeing a battered M-8 Avenger rifle amongst the rubble. The vorcha followed his eye line and saw the fallen weapon. Whether the creature wanted to prevent Shepard from getting the weapon, or possess it itself, Shepard would never know. He dashed for the weapon at the same time the vorcha charged. The air around his exploded with zipping tracer fire and the ground rumbled as the krogan charged.

Two rounds pounced off his shoulder guard, momentarily throwing off his balance. A third shot ricocheted off the fallen masonry and a piece of flying shrapnel cut across his cheek. Shepard grimaced and fought down a snarl. Shepard dove and gripped the rifle a heartbeat before the vorcha did. With his remaining good hand, Shepard twisted the weapon around. The vorcha clawed at him, raking his cheek with its claws and trying to tear his throat out. Shepard lashed out with his foot, smashing the xeno's thin ribcage. He kicked again and heard the satisfying crunch of ribs breaking. Oily black blood began to dribble from the vorcha's mouth but still on it came. If anything the injuries made it even more feral and berserk. Shepard lashed out with his wounded hand, desperate to get the creature off of him. His numb left hand collided with the vorcha's eye. The shard of metal still lodged in his hand punctured through the soft jelly of creature's eyes and into the grey matter of its brain. The vorcha died instantly, its body twitching as its nervous system registered it was dead. Shepard pushed the body off him and staggered to his feet. His heart hammered in his chest but there was no time to try to calm himself.

Shepard raised the rifle as the krogan cleared the rubble of the barricades. His first barrage impacted against the krogan's shields and his second managed to dent itself on the massive beast's thick blue armor. Shepard fired his looted rifle wildly when it became obvious the krogan wasn't going to stop. Several rounds bounced off its armor and a few scored grooves in its massive, thick head plate. The krogan roared and swatted the rifle from Shepard's hands. The impact alone was enough to almost knock his shoulder from its socket. The krogan gripped Shepard by his chest and hauled him into the air. It looked at him with its beady black eyes and snarled. Shepard spat at it and brought his spiked hand up to stab it. The krogan caught his arm mid-swing and gripped the metal shard protruding from his palm.

With a sickening grin, it twisted the metal and Shepard screamed. He could feel the metal grinding his bones and veins into a bloody mush. Blinded by tears of agony, Shepard ripped the last remaining grenade from his webbing and lashed out with his knee at the same time. He managed to knock the krogan back a step before he dove for cover. The grenade rolled to a gentle stop just next to the krogan's foot. The krogan pirate disappeared in a cloud of green blood and too many organs. Briefly Shepard wondered just how many organs a krogan had.

When the dust settled, Shepard saw that the krogan's death had caused the other raiders to pause, the momentum of their assault wavering briefly. It was enough time to find the fallen Avenger rifle and slowly reload it with his one good hand. A roar of anger filtered in from beyond the blasted barricades and Shepard knew the raiders had found their bloodlust again. Not that it mattered. He would kill them all. Elysium would not fall so long as a single drop of blood remained in Shepard's body. He would never again be too slow or weak to prevent a death. Shepard felt a scream of anger build in his chest and he fired.

0000000

Dr. Chakwas entered the medbay with a datapad in hand and eyes locked on the bio-readouts therein. It was the graveyard shift and there was only a skeleton crew on duty. Normally the doctor would be fast asleep, but the medical staff at the Huerta Memorial Hospital had asked for her medical expertise in diagnosing various levels of failed Reaper indoctrination in the war wounded. She was far from an expert, but her experience gave her an edge that could save lives. That was worth the loss of sleep.

The yawn that had been itching at the back of her throat quickly escaped as a weary sigh when she looked up. The light above the only occupied bed at the far corner of the room was on; dimmed to avoid attention, but on none-the-less. The figure lying in the bed was asleep, or as close as one gets to sleep when in a chemically induced coma. But it was the shadowed hunched figure in the chair next to the bed that had drawn the sigh from Chakwas' lips.

"If you keep this up…" Chakwas whispered, but in the dead of night her voice carried effortlessly over the background hum of the Normandy and the regular, rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor next to Shepard's prone body, "...I might order EDI to lock you out of the medbay. You need sleep as much as anyone, Tali."

The Quarian turned slightly and even from the other side of the room, Chakwas heard the pops of a stiff neck and back, "I know…I just couldn't sleep. I had to see his face." She turned back to her defacto bondmate, "I wanted to make sure he was okay."

"You know he's not scheduled to wake up for another twenty-seven hours. Worrying yourself sick won't help anyone either." Chakwas chided gently, having picked up on the rough, dry throat sound in the young woman's voice. Over the years she had come to look at Tali as family and in moments of drunken enlightenment, the aged doctor might even say Tali was the daughter she never had.

Due to the severity of his injuries they had placed Shepard in an artificially induced coma to give his body enough time to heal. They had sped up the process with vat grown stemcells so that when he woke he would be sore but not crippled. When Tali didn't respond, Dr. Chakwas walked over to the pair and reviewed Shepard's bio-readings. She manipulated a few dials and made minor adjustments to a chemical dispenser.

Tali had been distraught, bordering on a complete mental collapse when Shepard had been brought aboard. It had taken Lieutenant Vega and Major Alenko to restrain her and both of them sported livid bruises on their bodies as a result. Not that it had done much good; for the first five hours of surgery Tali had paced relentlessly back and forth outside the med-bay, her body as coiled as a snake ready to strike. Upon hearing that Shepard was stable she had calmed and it had been Liara who suggested Tali continue working to make the time go by faster until Shepard awoke.

"I told myself I wasn't going to come down here. I tried exhausting my mind with little things." Tali snorted out a laugh, "I even made decent progress on fixing Shepard's rifle."

"He loves that gun." Chakwas laughed, "Boys and their toys, eh?"

"I love my toys too." Tali said and the doctor heard a mix of amusement and sexuality in her voice, "If John was awake, he'd know exactly how to get me to sleep."

"Glad to hear it." Chakwas said and did a basic scan of Tali with her omni-tool, "Immune system still holding up? Any congestion? Headaches? Rashes? Fevers?"

"Not a thing." Tali said and it was obvious how proud she was of that fact, "Completely adapted. I'm his now." She reached out and took Shepard's hand, "And he's mine…he promised." Chakwas narrowed her eyes at the forlorn voice the Quarian had used. She reached out and put a hand to Tali's shoulder.

"Tali?" She asked carefully. The engineer shook her head slightly.

"Sorry. Just girly romance stuff." She tried to laugh it off, "You know, swooning, sighing, dreaming…"

"Ah young love." Chakwas laughed wistfully, "I remember how enamored you were with the commander back on the old Normandy." Tali sputtered at this a bit.

"What?" She asked then coughed, "I mean…well…yes. I was…fascinated with Shepard."

"That's not the word I would use." Chakwas said with a smirk, "Part of the perks of being in the medbay most of the day means I notice the crew as they walk by. I seem to remember a young Quarian engineer who sat next to Shepard at every meal, and hung onto his every word. I remember how upset you were when Liara started to take your seat next to Shepard."

"…was I that obvious?" Tali whispered, her face burning red.

"To me, it was clear as day." Chakwas motioned to the sleeping man on the bed, "To Shepard, not so much. You know men. Have to spell everything out."

"So true." Tali laughed.

"I even remember the time when Shepard, Alenko and Williams were about to go out for a late night drink." Chakwas eyed the quarian meaningfully, "Remember? We had just finished up on Feros? You were sitting alone in the mess hall…?"

"Shepard asked me if I wanted to come along." Tali said, her mind lost in memories and voice thick with emotion.

"He offered you his hand to help you stand." Chakwas grinned, "And you didn't let go after you were up."

"No. I didn't." Tali said with a small laugh. She looked down at her hand, which still held Shepard's in a tight grip. She smiled. So much time had passed since then…so many bad memories. But still…she was holding Shepard's hand. It wasn't all bad. "I was so nervous, I didn't even realize it until Ashley gave me one of her amused stares."

"Do you ever miss her?" Chakwas asked, her voice hushed. Tali nodded slowly.

"Sometimes. I miss her bring-it-on attitude. I miss her whenever I feel the need for a big sister to give me a pep-talk." Tali said with a hint of sadness. It was true. Ashley Williams hadn't been the warmest person when they first met, but over time Ashley and Tali had become close. She shared a sibling's bond with both Kaidan and Ashley and sometimes she wondered what Ashley would say or do in any given situation. Ashley Williams had been a great soldier and an even better friend. Her death had been a cutting blow to the entire Normandy crew. Tali knew that Kaiden, whom she suspected had more than a professional relationship with Ashley, still sent flowers and a hand-written letter to the Williams every year on the anniversary of her death.

"She was a good woman." Chakwas said and put a hand on Tali's shoulder, "She would be proud of you Tali." It took a moment for the Quarian to respond.

"I hope so." She said softly. Dr. Chakwas couldn't tell if the silence that descended between them was uncomfortable or not. She decided to clear her throat and walked over to one of the cabinets.

"Hey, why don't you go get some sleep?" She asked and offered Tali a small injector, "This will help you sleep. It's a mild sedative." Tali looked at the metallic cylinder for a moment then looked back at Shepard. She reached out and stroked his growing stubble and smiled underneath her mask. He looked so peaceful right now. Tali loved watching him sleep but she had to admit her eyes burned with a need for sleep and her mind was sluggish. But still she didn't want to leave her lover's side.

"I…" She began but sighed deeply. She knew better than anyone what Shepard would say if he saw her, hunched over and barely awake. Tali reached out and took the small device from Chakwas. "Okay." She said with a small sigh and stood. Dr. Chakwas didn't say anything. She just gave the young Quarian a sympathetic look

Tali spared one last look back at Shepard and watched switch off the light above his bed. The med-bay was engulfed in almost complete darkness with the light of machines winking.

0000000

The following morning Tali awoke with a start. For the briefest of moments she blindly felt the place her bondmate usually occupied and sighed when she remembered she would find it empty.

"EDI?" She called out, "Has there been any change in Shepard's condition, any at all?" The blue-white ball of EDI's avatar appeared on her display base at the far end of the room.

"Commander Shepard's heartbeat has steadily increased over the last six hours and is now within acceptable levels." EDI's synthetic voice replied calmly, "His wounds have healed a further 34.6%; perfectly on schedule with Dr. Chakwas' expectations."

"That is good." Tali said slowly. She was no doctor and EDI often spoke too matter-of-factly but she was sure it was good news. Tali stood and snatched at a water tube and nutrient tube from the table in Shepard's room. She had brought a few supplies up to the cabin; if she went to the messhall she knew should would just spend the rest of the day in the medbay.

Tali ate and drank slowly as she walked over to the elevator. Her finger hesitated over the button for deck three but she willed herself not to push it. Instead she pushed the fifth button and the elevator smoothly traveled down to the cargo bay. When the door open Tali saw Lieutenant Cortez hunched over his work console.

"Good morning." She said, trying to sound cheery. Cortez looked up at her and snorted out a laugh.

"Good afternoon more like, Miss Zorah." He said politely, "It's almost passed thirteen-hundred hours." Tali gasped at this and looked down at her chrono-reader. Sure enough the red digits blinked back a much later hour than she thought it was.

"Well look who is finally up!" Vega called from his little area, "How you doing Sparks? Get enough beauty sleep?"

"One of us has too Lieutenant Vega." Tali retorted with a grin, "And Keelah knows it's not going to be you." Vega placed his hand over his heart and staggered dramatically.

"Oh Sparks, you wound me!" He gasped out.

"It's nothing you don't deserve, Mr. Vega. " Cortez said, "Now get back to work and leave the poor girl alone."

"Ouch Esteban, you're grouchy today." Vega joked but turned back to his station.

"I prefer the term professional, thank you very much Mr. Vega. " Cortez said and turned to Tali to offer her a smile. "Your work is right were you left it." Tali nodded her head graciously and walked over to the weapon's station.

There, laid out like a blueprint diagram, was Shepard's beloved rifle. Tali picked up the exact tool she had been using the night before and began to clean one of the many components. Her eyes studied the work she still had left to do and she simply shrugged. It was a lot but this was John's rifle, her John.

She spent almost an hour hunched over the station, slowly and delicately filing down spare parts to fit. She had crafted a new barrel using tools from the armory and replaced overloaded capacitors with fresh spares. When Tali finished tooling and wiring Shepard's favorite Inferno round mod she set the piece aside and frowned slightly.

"Lieutenant?" She called out, "Do we have any Mrk. V stabilizing coils in the armory I can use? Shepard's rifle won't get more than a few shots before over-heating without one."

"Let me check for you." Cortez said and called up a digital inventory list. He scrolled through it slowly before shaking his head, "I'm sorry Miss Zorah, but we don't have any of that design. All we have is the Mrk. III models and they won't fit." Tali cursed under her breath and scowled. She was a Quarian damn it and something as minor as a stabilizing coil wouldn't stop her from fixing Shepard's rifle.

"We are currently docked at the Citadel, Tali'Zorah." EDI's voice called out, "Would you like me to place a procurement order with Alliance Command?"

"No, thank you EDI." Tali said after a moment. She looked at the timer she had set for when Shepard was scheduled to wake up. She still had over twelve hours to go. Plenty of time, "I think I'll go to the Presidium myself and find what I need."

"Understood." EDI responded, "Logging you out."

0000000

Tali growled in frustration as she left the shop. It was the third on her list that had not had the part she needed in stock. Her temper was slowly rising as she walked through the Presidium. The damage from the failed Cerberus assault was still obvious with the blast damage walls and piles of rubble in the corners.

She walked as if on auto-pilot, dodging and weaving her way through the crowds with ease. Her years on the Migrant fleet had taught her how to move through crowds efficiently and swiftly. For the first time in her life, she went completely unremarked by the races around her. No one sneered or spat or shoved when she passed. Part of Tali was pleased that Quarian's seemed to be more acceptable now; the other part fumed that it had taken something like the Reaper's to draw off everyone's hate for her people.

Tali eventually found the last shop on her Extranet search that could sell the coil she needed. She made a beeline for the armaments and modification section, completely missing the withering glare the turian shopkeeper threw her way. Tali almost shouted with joy; there is was! The exact model and mark coil she needed to complete Shepard's gun. The price tag was high, but fare and she happily took the device from the wall. With obvious pride in her step, Tali sauntered over to the checking counter and placed the coil down.

"I'll take this, please." Tali said, trying to hide the excitement in her voice, "No need to bag it or anything. I have plenty of pockets."

"I'm sure you do." The turian growled and hit a key on his console, "That will be 600 credits. "

"Excuse me?" Tali snorted, eyes wide in disbelief. The turian cashier simply shrugged.

"Don't want it, don't buy it." He said and reached for the stabilizing coil Tali had picked from among the racks. Reflexively the Quarian moved her hand away, keeping the part close to her.

"I want it, but the price tag said 300 credits." Tali said and pointed at the wall display. The plinth she had taken the item from displayed a list of its functions, characteristics and a price tag of 299 credits. The turian gave a dry, humorless chuckle.

"That price is for Citadel races, Quarian." The turian pushed a key on his display pad. The 600 jumped to 750. "Keep mouthing back and I'll make it even higher." Inwardly Tali seethed with anger. This was the coil, the only coil with the new rationing laws that fit Shepard's damaged rifle. Without it, Tali would have spent countless hours cleaning, repairing and modding an impressive looking piece of junk.

"You…you bosh'tet!" Tali snarled, "There is a war wagging in the galaxy! The reapers are trying to kill everyone and all you can think about is trying to rip a Quarian off? You racist bosh'tet!" The Turian's eyes narrowed.

"You know, I don't think I want you in my store anymore. Leave. Drop the coil on the counter and get the fuck out before I call C-Sec!" Tali's grip on the coil tightened and for the briefest of moments she considered running out of the store with the part. Stealing it. Proving to this bastard the Quarians were just thieves. But John's rifle needed this part. Thankfully before she had time to act, a voice cleared its throat behind her.

"Is there a problem here?" Came a calm, raspy voice Tali knew well. Behind her mask she let out a small sigh of relief and turned. Kaiden Alenko was standing in the doorway of the shop, but Tali was surprised to see Liara at his side, eyes narrowed at the Turian.

"This Quarian is wasting my valuable time! She's trying to use the war to get my sympathy so she doesn't have to pay full price!" Her two friends looked at her, both obviously not believing the turian and wanting her side of the story.

"This stabilizing coil is the only one I could find on the Citadel. Without it, John's rifle won't be able to displace its heat buildup." She held up the part in question then pointed to where she had found it, "The tag said 300 credits. That is a fair price." She turned to the turian, "This bosh'tet wants to charge me 750 because I'm a Quarian!"

"Oh does he?" Liara whispered, her voice dripping with menace. She took a step forward but before she could activate her biotics, Kaiden held out a hand to stop her. She eyed him angrily for the briefest of moments but offered him a sad smile and nodded.

"This true?" Kaiden asked the turian.

"Hey the suit-rat is lucky I'm even selling to her." the turian said, "but I've lost my patience. I want her out." Tali stiffened at the racial slur and Liara fought back the urge to turn the turian into a ragdoll. Kaiden's eyes narrowed and he stepped forward loudly.

"Let me tell you how this is going to go." He said darkly, looking the turian in the eyes. Normally Kaiden's eyes were a soft brown. Now they looked like scorched earth. Determined. Pitiless. "I will be taking this coil." He reached out for the part and Tali hesitated for a moment. Only Liara's firm nod made her hand the part over. Kaiden put it on the counter, "And I'll be taking that Mrk. X recoil dampener and…Liara?"

He turned to the Asari, who's barely contained anger was obvious, "Didn't you say you wanted more stopping power in your pistol?" Liara smirked.

"Why, I do believe I did, Spectre Alenko." The turian took a step back and gulped.

"Spectre?" He breathed. Kaiden grinned.

"I'll also take that pulse magnifier. And I'll be taking them with my Spectre discount of seventy-five percent." He said firmly.

"What?!"

"You can charge it to the Citadel Council Financial office. Class B-8 expense claim. You should be paid by the end of the fiscal year."

"But…but that's months away! How am I supposed to maintain my stock?" The turian snarled, "This is an outrage! This…this is extortion!" the humor in Kaiden's eyes died immediately.

"Be glad you're even getting paid you son of a bitch." He gripped the turian by the collar and pulled him forward, "Judging by how you run your business and treated my friend" He nodded at Tali, "I'm guessing there is a lot you don't want known. Do you see my beautiful companion there?" He pointed at Liara who glared daggers at the turian, "She has ways of gathering information and she is very good at it. Thank your creator I'm not asking her to go through all your records and confiscate your entire inventory as evidence."

"And I will." Liara promised, "I will find every single document you ever put your name on. Anyone you've so much as borrowed ten credits from, I will find them. Every gambling debt and expired rent payment. If you so much as cheated on a primary school arithmetic exam, I will find out and I will shut this place down."

"You can't do that!" The turian stammered. Liara and Kaiden fixed the turian with the exact same withering stare.

"Yes, I can." They said in unison. Their dead, monotone voices sent an unpleasant shiver up Tali's spine and for the briefest of moments she saw the Shadow Broker and a merciless Specter, not her longtime friends. The turian looked at the human and asari, trying in vain to prevent what they planned. When it looked like the storekeeper was set to argue again, Liara narrowed her eyes and her hand started to glow a faint blue. The turian gulped. Hard.

"I'll…uh…I'll just bag these up for you." He stammered and quickly stumbled away. Tali was shocked and amazed in equal measures. Part of her felt bad for the bosh'tet, but it was a very, very small part of her. Liara and Kaiden stood as still as statues, burning a hole in the back of the turian's head with their blazing eyes. It took less than a minute for the turian to return with all the items boxed neatly. He rung up the entire purchase and Tali bit her lip to keep from laughing at how low it was. Kiaden handed the turian a sleek black credit chit, obviously his specter issued card. The turian completed the transaction with shaking talons and kept his eyes far from the faces of his patrons.

When they finished Liara took Tali's arm and led her from the store. Kaiden was the last out, but Liara cast the turian one more murderous glare before they were out of sight.

"I…thank you. For helping me." Tali said after a moment, "Although Shepard may have just convinced him without threats."

"The Reapers are more important than old grudges." Liara said, "We don't have time to play nice with bigots like him."

"Way I recall it, Shepard almost shot that krogan bartender who refused to serve you after that whole mess with Saren. You didn't mind then." Kaiden scratched at the stubble on his face and chuckled, "You know I think Wrex actually ended up breaking his jaw when the bar closed." The three chuckled for a moment before Tali noticed the soft smile Kaiden and Liara were sharing.

"So…what brings you two out here…together?" Tali asked, knowing it was a loaded question. Liara smiled and Tali was sure she was blushing a bit. The Asari reached out and took Kiaden's hand and gently stroked it with her thumb.

"Kaiden noticed I was going a little stir-crazy so he invited me out for a meal and some companionship." Liara looked at Tali, "I said yes."

"I'm glad you did." Kaiden added. Liara looked at him and smiled.

"Me too." She whispered and Tali could almost see the sparks flashing between their eyes. She smiled. Yes, there was definitely something between her two friends. She was very happy for them. After a moment it became clear the Asari and human were lost in each other's eyes, smiling at each other in a way that spoke of deep affection. Tali had to clear her throat, loudly, to break the two from one another.

"So…" She said at length, "You mentioned food Liara? I hope you haven't already eaten because I'm famished." A moment of hesitation crossed Liara's face but Kaiden smiled warmly.

"We were actually looking for a place when we saw you and decided to say hi." He nodded back towards the shop, "Looks like it was the right thing to do. We would love some extra company, right Liara?"

"R-right." Liara stammered and Tali suddenly realized her friend had wanted to be alone with Kaiden. The smile fell from her face and she rapidly tried to think of a way to get out of the lunch she had blindly invited herself to. She hadn't even thought twice; the original Normandy crew was as close as family. Any of them would have been gladly welcome to accompany her and Shepard to a meal. But it seemed Liara wanted some personal time with her Specter.

Just then Kaiden's omni-tool flashed to life and he sighed deeply as he read the message. Liara cast him a worried look and he laughed dejectedly.

"Looks like the Specter's office needs my attention for a few hours." Kaiden offered his friends apologetic smiles. "Rain check on lunch Liara?"

"Fine but don't be gone long." She teased lightly, "You dragged me all the way out here. The least you could do is buy me something with sugar in it before I go back to work."

"Deal." Kaiden said firmly and glanced at Tali, "You too Tali. We'll all go out when Shepard is back on his feet."

"I look forward to it." Tali said and Kaiden nodded once before turning and striding away. Tali noticed Liara's gaze was firmly on his backside until he was gone from sight. Tali cleared her throat, drawing the Asari back to the real world.

"Listen Liara, I'm…I'm sorry about that, back there." Tali said awkwardly, "I didn't realize you wanted to be alone with Kaiden."

"It's alright Tali. You probably saved me bumbling over myself." Liara laughed, "Truth is Kaiden and I like to keep a low profile. We always have."

"Always?" Tali picked up on her choice of words, "As in…you've done this before?"

"I never told you about what happened between Kaiden and myself, did I? About our history…" Liara looked out over the Presidium Lake and her eyes took on a glazed-over look of old fear and sadness.

"I wasn't aware you and Kaiden had a history at all." Tali said quietly, "I always assumed you and Shepard had had a fling…so to speak." Liara snorted slightly.

"No John and I were never together."

"But you have been with Kaiden before?" Tali asked curiously, "When?" Liara thought for a few moments before responding.

"It was after Shepard died on the original Normandy." Liara said softly, "After the funeral, I was distraught. I was numb. Lost. I wanted to die."

"Liara…"Tali began but trailed off, lost for words. They had all suffered horribly during those years.

"It's okay Tali. That was a long time ago. I…we got through."Liara said and blushed slightly.

"We?" Tali asked and the realization dawned on her, "You and Kaiden?"

"We ran into each other one night purely by accident. He and I found ourselves at the same bar, drowning our sorrows in drinks. Well…I was doing much more drinking. Kaiden was gambling his entire bank account away." Liara said and smiled slightly, "Some nights I can still picture that dark, dank dive of a bar. The acrid smoke in the air; the broken sound system playing the same damn song all night…and Kaiden in an old leather jacket and red-rimmed eyes. It wasn't a pretty sight but somehow it always makes me smile."

"What happened?" Tali asked. She wasn't sure if she should be smirking at her friend or offering her sympathy. Kaiden was far from the ugliest man she knew and if her friend Kasumi was here she would no doubt be pressing the Asari for all the lewd details.

"We started to talk…about life…about Shepard." Liara said, "He bought me a drink. It was the first time any man had ever done so; it meant a lot to me." Liara laughed, but it was a sad, hollow thing, "This may sound silly but when he handed me that glass of whiskey, I didn't feel so alone."

"That doesn't sound silly at all." Tali said softly, "It sounds like you and he really connected that night."

"We did. By the time we left I was far too drunk to walk to a cab, much less see myself to bed. Kaiden offered to take me to the apartment the Alliance had set him up in." Liara snorted, "I still don't know if he planned all that out or not."

"Kaiden is not that type of man Liara, and we both know it." Tali said firmly. Liara looked at her for a moment and nodded.

"Yes, I suppose you're right." Liara looked back at the lake, lost in her memories again, "When we got to his place he offered his bed and said he would take the couch. I…I didn't want to sleep alone that night. I was too depressed…too afraid of being alone. I put my hand on his shoulder and I…well…" Liara smiled bashfully at her friend, "I guess you know what happened next."

"I can imagine." Tali said with a smile, "but was it just the one time?"

"No." Liara said, "Unofficially I moved in with him the next day. I couldn't bear to be alone in my hotel room anymore. We never talked about our relationship or a future. We lived day to day for months. He kept me alive…and I like to think I did the same with him."

"Months Liara?!" Tali nearly gasped.

"It was…" Liara paused to consider her words, "It was what we both needed. We talked all the time, about our lives and our fears. He confided in me secrets that I will never share, and I did the same. We cooked together; shopped together…We made love every night, just so we could feel alive before we slept. Merging my consciousness with his was the only way I could sleep. The only way I could feel safe." Liara sighed happily, "He introduced me to a genre of human cinematics; Westerns he called them."

"John tried to get me to watch one of those once." Tali laughed slight and Liara gasped out a small giggle.

"They had a certain charm to them. No matter how dark things got, the hero always won in the end; at least in the ones Kaiden chose to show me." Liara looked down at her hands for a moment, "In turn I showed him Asari poetry and taught him to read it without his translator."

"Is that what he's always reading in the starboard lounge?" Tali asked curiously.

"Perhaps." Liara shrugged, "Something tells me he reads battle repots more often, but I like to think he still takes time to practice."

"What happened next?" Tali asked, "When did you two…" She trialed off.

"We just lived…because we had to. Because we had nothing else to do. After a while the pain seemed to go away and…" Liara looked down at the ground and sighed deep, "and I started to…I began to feel…" She shook her head fiercely, "I never intended to get attached Tali."

"Liara, Kaiden is a good man. Being with him for so long, I would be surprised if you didn't start to feel something for him." Tali said with a smile, "right?"

"Right." Liara agreed, "But I didn't know how to approach the issue. It would have…complicated things. It may have even ruined our friendship forever. But then one day it was over. He received new orders and I had to set my sights on Illium. We both promised to keep in touch…but I didn't. I couldn't. I forced myself not to think of those hazel eyes of his or his smoky voice. For over a year I buried those memories and feelings. How he saved me." Liara looked at Tali with tears in her eyes.

"He saved me Tali! And I just abandoned him like a garment that no longer fit." Tali reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Liara, it's okay." Tali said softly, "We all did what we had to those days. It was hell for all of us."

"When…when Kaiden nearly died on Mars…"

"Keelah…"

"I was so terrified, Tali." Liara confessed, "Terrified that he would die before I told him what he meant to me. Before I was able to see if he…if we were worth continuing."

"I'm so sorry Liara."

"It's alright. I had a camera installed in his room, linking it directly to my office. And when Shepard told me Thane had offered to watch over him, I made sure he was well equipped. I wasn't about to lose my chance at happiness to some would-be Cerberus assassin."

"Is that why you and Kaiden were out here?" Tali asked, motioning to where the Specter had disappeared to, "A chance at happiness?"

"I owe him everything Tali. I…I don't think I would have been strong enough to survive without him reminding me I wasn't alone." Liara smiled, "after...after Thessia fell…he…well…"

"Take your time Liara." Tali said softly. She was well aware how upset those wounds were for the Asari. During the shuttle ride back to the Normandy, Liara had buried her face in Kaiden's armored form. Back then they all assumed it had been because he was the nearest warm body to her. Now Tali wasn't so sure.

"I couldn't sleep that night. I wasn't even going to try." Liara said after a moment, "Even after directing as many agents and ships that I own to Thessia to evacuate who they could, it wasn't enough. All I heard was the screams of those commandos and the sounds of Reapers destroying my home."

"What did you do?" Tali asked, "To sleep, I mean." Liara laughed slightly.

"I woke Kaiden up, on his little couch." Liara shook her head and smiled sadly, "It was almost three in the morning but I just…I just threw myself into his arms and cried. He didn't say anything. He just held me until I exhausted myself. Until I couldn't stay awake another moment. The poor man. I doubt he got more than two hours of sleep that night."

"Sounds like he cares a great deal about you." Tali said and gave Liara a playful push. The Asari blushed and shoved back, grinning from ear to ear.

"Maybe." She said, "He did carry me to my bed when I did finally fall asleep. When I woke up, I was safely tucked in with a nutrient bar on the side table. I also have an inkling he kissed me goodnight."

"John used to do that for me when I fell asleep in engineering." Tali said, "But then I realized I was missing being able to cuddle with him at night so I made sure to clock out after my shift ended."

"Maybe I should leave five minutes free at the end of the night." Liara grinned, "I always enjoyed being in his arms at night. "

"So…you and Kaiden…you're dating then?" Tali asked and this time she was grinning.

"Well…" Liara blushed, "I'm not entirely sure he feels the same way. We haven't really spoken about it." Liara held up a hand before Tali could say anything, "I don't think he and I really will until the Reapers are defeated. Then and only then do I plan on telling him my true feelings."

"Do you love him, Liara?" Tali asked softly. The Asari looked at her for a long moment.

"I…" She began and closed her mouth, "I think I do, Tali." At this she laughed as if suddenly coming to the realization herself, "I think I do love Kaiden."

"Then why not tell him that?" Tali urged, "I tell John I love him every morning. He matters too much to me for me to just hope he knows."

"It's not that Kaiden doesn't matter to me…it's just…" Liara trailed away for a moment, "I just don't want to get too distracted. And the war is not over. I don't know if he or I will live to see the end."

"Doesn't that make your time together all the more important?" Tali asked. Liara was silent for a long time. Tali could see the turmoil, the conflict in her friend's eyes.

"I…I suppose it does." Liara said after a moment. She turned to face her friend, "Thank you Tali. You've given me a measure of courage."

"What will you do now?"

Liara grinned, "I think I'll go visit Kaiden in the Specter's office." Tali's eyes widened.

"But those doors are bio-scanned shielded. How will you get in?"

"Over-ride codes." Liara said matter-of-factly, "The previous Shadow Broker had them. Now I do."

"Can I get those from you? I wouldn't mind surprising John someday." Liara smirked at her friend.

"I think I can arrange that." She said with a knowing smile. Tali smiled back but it was hidden behind her visor. After a moment Tali sighed deeply, pleasantly, and looked down at the bag in her hand.

"I have what I came for. And more, I guess." Tali said and Liara blushed, "I want to head back to the Normandy and get back to work on John's rifle. Kaiden said you wanted this pulse magnifier moded to your pistol?"

"I can do it myself, you have plenty of work."

"Actually I was going to tell Garrus to do it." Tali said playfully. Liara laughed and shook her head.

"Well if that's the case, I won't keep you." She said and nodded politely. The both laughed again. Tali made her way back to the Normandy and Liara went to find a certain Specter.