It was raining. Which meant that Ferb had a headache. It wasn't that the headache was caused by the rain, more that Ferb felt that the rain had just compounded a general sense of being crushed under the weight of things that he felt these days. Well, he said these days- he meant last the few weeks specifically. Ever since Phineas had decided to surprise Isabella with a profession of True Love, he'd been at the eye of a hurricane of anxiety-driven feverish panic, and it was beginning to get to him.

Plan after plan had been drawn up before Phineas had settled on something sensible. Scrapbooks the size of buildings, multimedia presentations, jacking Isabella into Phineas's subconscious (he'd shot that one down as quickly as possible) and dozens of other downright stupid ideas had been thrown at his feet. He thought that'd be the hardest part. But now he was faced with not only trying to build the bloody thing but also keeping it secret from Isabella.

She's really in the shit on this one, Ferb thought was he slid his way through the lunchtime crowd in the corridor. Rain kept everyone indoors, and thus the gang would all gravitate to the locker. Ferb grimaced at the prospect of nursing his headache through the noise of a dozen people in a deceptively small room. Even after their heart-to-heart on Wednesday, she'd persisted in her bold task of figuring out who Phineas's Valentine was, reducing the back row during Chemistry to some weird combination of 20 questions and an FBI interrogation. He'd said nothing, of course. But it didn't help his head. In fact, just thinking about what was going to happen hurt. Isabella was a persistent person, and unless one of her friends could turn her around on her thinking, she was going to careen into Phineas on Monday fully intent on ruining her own Valentine's day. Ferb wondered if he could get through the rest of the day without another barrage from her when he more or less walked into her entering the locker.

"Ferb!", she said, winded as he smiled weakly at her. "Listen, I have to get to student government but I need you to look in Phineas's locker for me."

"Not happening."

"Pleaaaaaaase," She wined.

Ferb stared, unimpressed. "Don't you use the Doe eyes on me, I'm immune."

Isabella huffed. "You're so cold-hearted sometimes."

"I prefer to call it a Stiff Upper Lip," he replied.

She rolled her eyes. "You know you'll help me, Fletcher. I just have to wear you down."

"Don't you have student government to go to?"

"They're patient people."

"Lucky them."

"Focus Fletcher." Isabella put her arms out, pinning Ferb against the lockers. He could smell her perfume.

It made his headache worse.

"Don't call me Fletcher."

Isabella leaned forward. "Fine then, Ferbo. Let's save Phineas."

"Save him?"

"Just tell me what he was doing in the sports hall?"

"I don't know!" Ferb ducked right under her arm, and Isabella spun to face him. "Just cool it for a bit."

Isabella narrowed her eyes. "Don't tell me to cool it, mister."

Ferb sighed. "I'm going in here now." He pointed in The Locker. "I'm going to have a cup of Tea. Earl Grey. It's going to be hot. I'm going to drink it, then I am going to finish my book. And you know what?"

"What." Isabella hissed.

"At no point in that process will I give any thought to you or my dear brother's antics."

Isabella sighed. "And after that? Will you be useful then?"

Ferb opened the locker door. "After that, I intend to sleep until my name becomes Rip van Fletcher." He gave her a mock salute. "Good day, Ms. Garcia Shapiro," he said in the snobbiest British voice he could do.

Isabella stuck her tongue out at him.

"You're missing student government!" he yelled as he climbed through the door. As he'd expected, the Locker was packed this lunchtime. He could see practically the entire gang in the room; Irving at the back, poring over several computers at the same time: Ginger and Holly gossiping; Adyson stood, waiting by the kettle, looking through her phone. Nick and Django were enjoying each others' company at the back of the room while Baljeet tried his hardest to explain calculus to Buford, who looked like someone was trying to explain string theory to him while warily watching Adyson. There had been some form of truce between the two after Adyson had cornered Buford in a classroom, but whether they were still on speaking terms (or, more concerningly, whether Adyson was finished with Buford) remained to be seen. It was loud, it was noisy, but it was better than the common room.

More importantly, Phineas was nowhere to be seen, which meant that Ferb could enjoy his lunchtime in peace. It was beginning to get oppressive, the constant bombardment of design suggestions and alternations: best place to get balloons, whether to have supplies delivered at home or at school. Sometimes Ferb just needed Tea and a book.

Actually, right now Ferb just felt like a sit down. One of the big armchairs was empty, and Ferb collapsed into it, his bag discarded as he withdrew his totemic book. He'd been right in the middle of a section on Victorian engineers on the bus and as he sank into folds of the chair his mind went to Isambard Kingdom Brunel and his atmospheric railway (an idea he and Phineas had yet to cross off their list). Vacuum powered trains are just up our street he thought as he turned the page, settling in for a quiet half an hour.

"Fletcher!" A shout came across the room, followed by the clatter of shoes coming towards him.

Bugger, he thought.

"Ferb, we need to talk." Adyson tapped her foot impatiently as Ferb took time to mark the page, and looked up from the book.

"Is this about Phineas?"

Adyson huffed. "Of course it's about Phineas." Ferb raised an eyebrow. "Ok, maybe it's about Isabella as well but you know what I mean. You don't have a problem with one without it involving the other. Except of course they're avoiding each other this week but that's not the issue here, but it is a part of it."

Ferb nodded in a get on with it fashion.

"It's about this"- Adyson waved flippantly in place of trying to describe Phineas's project. "-Valentines' thing."

Ferb raised an eyebrow.

"Well-"

"It's not really our problem is it?" Ferb pointed out. He really wanted to get back to that book.

"It sorta is, now that we're all involved in some way."

Ferb paused. "Wait, what do you mean 'all involved.'"

Adyson gestured to Baljeet, who was trying to explain integration to Buford. "Yo, Jeet-tell Ferb what you told me."

Baljeet looked up sheepishly. "Phineas…. Phineas may or may not have asked me to help him carry some equipment into the Hall and hide it underneath the stage."

Buford looked up indignantly, "Hey, why didn't he ask me instead of a wimp?"

"You were in Detention," Baljeet huffed, "while the wimp who is currently doing your homework for you was around when he needed help."

"Fair enough." Buford looked over at Ferb and Adyson. "Now that I think about it, Dinnerbell did ask me about love poetry in French class on Tuesday. Coupl'a real specific questions as well." He shrugged. "Is that the sorta thing you're talking about Addy?"

Adyson nodded without acknowledging Buford.

Irving piped up from behind several computer monitors, "He wants me to give him some of my old videotapes." He paused as everyone looked at him. "Not the weird ones…just the y'know, ones he knew I was filming."

Ferb resisted the urge to shudder.

"I'm supposed to help him with some banner-thing on Sunday," Django piped up from the back.

"You see Ferb?" Adyson gestured around the room. "He's gathering everyone up. Like he usually does."

"That's how Phineas works though," Ferb retorted. "He can't keep a project to himself. What's so bad about this one?"

"He's not showing us the whole project?" Django questioned.

"He ain't tellin' us who he's crushin' on either," Buford said.

"And he isn't including Isabella." Adyson pointed out. Ferb stayed silent. "And the day that Phineas keeps a project from his best friend is not a good day." There was a murmur of agreement from around the room.

Ferb stood up, "There is a clear and obvious explanation for all of the subterfuge, and I'm sure if we ask Phineas he can tell you." There was murmuring around the room at this, and Ferb heard Baljeet explaining what Subterfuge meant to Buford. No one looked particularly satisfied by this.

"Do you know?" Gretchen said from the back of the room

He nodded reluctantly.

"Can you tell us then?" Ginger asked.

Ferb looked at his feet for a second. "Not really."

"Why not?" Holly piped up from a table at the back.

"What can't he tell you?" asked Phineas as he came into the room, stopping as he realized everyone was staring at him awkwardly. "What his real name is?"

No one laughed. He smiled weakly and leaned in close to Ferb.

"Everyone talking about me?" He whispered.

"Yup," Ferb said.

"Confused about the project?"

"More irritated to be honest."

"Do they know?"

"Of course, they know"

"Don't overreact Ferb, they can't all know."

"They all know Phineas."

"No, they don't, I've been very subtle." Phineas insisted.

Ferb leaned away from his brother. "Put your hand up if you think Phineas's Valentine's project is an announcement that he is madly in love with Isabella."

All bar two hands in the room went up. Irving looked slightly sheepish at the number of hands up around him, and Phineas looked like he was trying as hard as he could to stop his cheeks from flushing red.

"Alright, now keep your hand up if you know for certain that this is the case and that Phineas is a terrible liar."

Baljeet and Django's hands went down but faltered slightly as they did.

Ferb looked over at his brother, who tried to look unfazed. "Ta-da."

Phineas's smiled dropped, and he looked scared-an unnatural expression for him. "Please don't tell her guys."

Adyson rolled her eyes. "Phineas, even if we did, she wouldn't believe us." Phineas's face lit up.

"Fantastic." He looked over at Ferb in satisfaction. "You see? Nothing to worry about at all. She'll still be surprised."

"But-"Adyson seemed winded by the utter obliviousness of that statement. "She thinks' its' for someone else."

"Great! It'll be a total surprise then on Monday!" Everyone else looked at him incredulously. "What?"

"Isabella cannot comprehend the concept that you are in love with her at all," Baljeet said, slowly. "It is...beyond her at th3emoment."

"She hates me?"

"No no no, that is not what I meant," Baljeet replied frantically. "She does have feelings for you. She does want you to love her. But she excepts you to realize that…on her terms. And not so soon after Kelly." He practically whispered those words.

"So it'll still be a pleasant surprise for her when I've come to that conclusion without her having to do anything, right?" Phineas said, defending his ground.

"I'm not sure pleasant would be the right word for it ," Buford said, still staring at the maths work.

"Shocked, perhaps?" Holly suggested.

"Confused?" said Nick.

"Disturbing?" offered Ginger.

"Pretty fucking furious?". Snarked Adyson.

Phineas flew off the handle. "Come on guys! What is up with you? I thought you were all meant to be in my corner. I thought I you-" he pointed at Baljeet. "were supposed to have been 'shipping' us for about six years." What about you Irving, with your creepy photoshop edits, huh? Not 'meant to be' now, huh?" He gestured at the ex-fireside girls. "I thought that all of you were always trying to push me and Izzy together. And now that I'm finally doing it, you've all turned around and gone 'don't do it, Phineas, she won't believe you'. What gives you the right to toy with me and her like this? What gives the right to keep us apart for any longer?" Phineas was yelling now, months of guilt and embarrassment manifesting in fury. "Izzy's been waiting nearly a decade for me to clock how much of an idiot I am, and I intend to show her properly that I am not the Mr. Oblivious she thought I was no matter how much you people seem to think she's not in love me! Shouldn't Isabella get to decide that? Shouldn't I give her the chance to?"

The room was silent. "Well?" Phineas was panting with exhaustion at his outburst. "No one gonna tell me how I was too late or something?"

Most people were averting their eyes, and Ferb resisted the temptation to physically shake some sense into his brother.

"Phineas, we didn't mean it like that." Adyson tried to explain.

"Good." Phineas wasn't really listening at this point. "Then you're going to all help me then?" He phrased it as a question, but it clearly wasn't.

"But Phineas-"Holly tried to speak up.

"It's for true love..." Phineas implored in a don't-fuck-with-me manner. Holly just nodded at him. He smiled slightly. "Thanks, everyone.", He sighed. "I'm-I'm sorry I blew up like that. This is pretty big for me, I don't want to screw this up and there's so much that needs to be done." He seemed back in control, the sunshine glow back on his face.

"It's alright Phineas." Ferb patted his brother on the back. "We're all in your corner on this." He looked around the room. "Right everyone?" The correct affirmatory noises were made by most people, but Adyson and Holly still looked a little worried.

Phineas seemed satisfied, however, and Ferb could see the creative cogs ticking in his head again. "Awesome, I knew I could count on you guys. Buford, Baljeet, can I borrow you for like 20 minutes?"

They looked at each other.

"Now?" Phineas hissed slightly through his teeth.

"Alright, alright, jeez," Buford said as they packed their bags and followed the redhead out of the room apprehensively. The bully leaned over to Ferb as they passed, muttering "This better be a good fanfic for dinnerbell to get this angry this often," before following Phineas and Baljeet out of the locker.

The green-haired boy rolled his eyes, then collapsed into his armchair. "I thought the headache was bad. Thank fuck that's over."

"I don't think it is." He looked up to see Adyson, Ginger, Gretchen and Holly standing round him looking worried. "You see, Isabella…might have asked us to help her."

Ferb looked at them with an are you kidding me? look. "Help?"

Adyson nodded. "Isabella would like us to stop Phineas."

He gave them a She wants you to stop him? look.

Ginger shuffled awkwardly. "Katie and Milly as well," she added.

"Stop him from doing what?"

Holly sighed. "As far as we can work out, she wants to stop him from doing anything."

"Jesus Christ," Ferb felt his head spin as he imagined the fresh hell that was about to unfold. "So we now have Phineas leading us all in one direction, and Isabella right in the other one." He puts his head in his hands, trying not to give away how utterly exhausted he felt just trying to work out what was going to happen next.

"What are we gonna do, Ferb?", Gretchen asked. The boy didn't answer. "Ferb?"

He put a hand up in a give me a bloody second, will you? I'm trying to think sort of fashion. The girls looked between each other then back at him. Ferb sighed, heavily, then sat up. "We can't stop them."

"What do you mean?" Holly looked confused. "They're gonna end up hurting each other."

"We just saw what happens if you try and question Phineas on this, and I know what happens when you put Isabella on the spot." Ferb looked thoughtful, despite knowing he was really admitting some form of defeat here.

"So what are we going to do then, smartass?" Adyson said, tapping her foot.

"Damage Control." Ferb replied promptly.

"Explain."

"We have to make sure that both of their plans fail just enough so that they realise that they're both wrong about the other person."

"How?"

Ferb shrugged. "I don't know."

Gretchen seemed confused by this. "You always know how those two work."

"I'm running on fumes here Gretchen," he said despondently. "I think we're just going to have to play it by ear here."

"Isabella isn't going to accept us not helping her." Holly cut in. "She's already got me pressuring Irving to hand over camera footage as well."

"She's got me following Buford and Baljeet around as well," said Ginger

Ferb grimaced. "Do whatever she asks you to do."

"Why?" Adyson seemed unimpressed. "Won't that just reinforce her self-belief?"

"Perhaps. But at least we'll know what her plan is that way."

"I'm not particularly reassured by that."

"Well right now I haven't got a better idea."

"Are you going to come up with any?"

"Probably. Give me a few hours."

"What about now?"

"What I am going to do now," he said deliberately, "is sit here and read my book, as is my birthright as an Englishman. Any questions?" The girls all looked at each other. Adyson looked like she was going to slap him but stayed quiet. "Good." They went back to their seats, muttering to each other. Ferbs' head still hurt. He opened the book and began to read, but the drive to keep reading eluded him.

Bugger this, he thought. He got up, pulling his bag with him as he left in search of this brother.

"Phineas?" Ferb asked tentatively as he pushed open the doors to the Sports Hall, slightly surprised at the lack of a lock.

"Up here!" he heard a voice coming from the stage and looked up to see his brother trying to adjust the contraption that hung from the rafters. Baljeet and Buford stood holding two ropes in the wings, watching the red-head. "A little to the left Buford." Buford yanked the rope, sending Baljeet flying and the projector whirling in circles on an adjustable mount. Phineas facepalmed as Baljeet careened straight into Buford and took them both flying offstage.

Ferb climbed onto the stage, grabbing one of the ropes as Phineas pulled hard on the other one. Slowly, the massive contraption came to a stop. The box was as Ferb remembered the blueprint. A huge mass of buttons and projector parts, with a huge projector sticking out one end all covered in a thick layer of yellow dots covering every surface.

Ferb stared at it, impressed. "So, this is the holo-emitter."

"Cool, isn't it?" Phineas was back in his element after his earlier outburst. "Watch this." He tapped a button on his phone, and the emitter vanished. "Got the invisibility cloak working in my free period. Didn't even have to fix one of Dr. D's inators. Not that it'd been hard, but I prefer to do it myself." He pressed another switch, and suddenly the backyard appeared in the middle of the hall, tree and all. It was perfect: the 104 marks they'd made each summer on the fence, the smell of pie from the kitchen, the wind fluttering the leaves above them. It was like they were there.

Except it was levitating four feet in the air.

Ferb raised an eyebrow at his brother, who grinned sheepishly. "Still working out some bugs. Don't want to materialize a tree in the middle of the bleachers, do we." Phineas flicked through a few other holoimages: The deserted island from the Summer Solstice trip, The New Years' Ball, an ice cream parlour, a clearing at Danville Lake. The work was immaculate. Ferb smiled at this, but then remembered why he'd come searching for his brother.

"Listen," he started, as his brother began to lower the emitter from the ceiling. Buford and Baljeet had emerged from backstage, and immediately grabbed two of the stabilizing ropes and began to drop the emitter with Phineas.

"Give me hand with this?" Phineas asked. Ferb reached for the last rope. began to help ease the huge contraption groundwards.

"Are you sure that you need to think this big?" Ferb asked.

"What do you mean?" Phineas said, opening a trapdoor in the stage.

"Well, we've got the holoemitter, the roses, the love notes, the musical number, the fourth wall break, isn't that a bit over the top?"

"You know me. I like a memorable project." Phineas eased the holoemitter into the space below the stage. "That's why I need this part to work. The timing on each change needs to be perfect, otherwise, the effect will be ruined."

"You also need to make sure it touches the ground." Added Baljeet.

"And I need to make sure it touches the ground. And then, This stage will be done." He smiled. "It's gotta be perfect for her."

Ferb sighed but pressed on. "I'm sure it'll be perfect, but do you really think you need everyone's help on this?"

Phineas looked at him, slightly confused. "Of course. Everyone should be part of a good project. Even Buford, right?" he turned to see Buford staring at his phone, while Baljeet tried not to laugh. "Guys?" Phineas asked, confused.

"Oh, that sneaky bitch!"

"Buford, Language!", all three of them shouted at him, as he continued to stare in horror at his phone.

"SHE GOT INTO MY LOCKER!" he bellowed.

"Who?" Phineas asked, redundantly

"ADYSON? WHO DO YOU THINK IT WAS, CANDACE?" Buford vaulted from the staged and sprinted out the doors, swearing like a sailor as he did.

Baljeet scurried after him, trying to hold down laughter. "Buford come back, violence is never the answer!"

The two brothers stared at the door the pair passed through for a second. Anyway, thought Ferb.

"What's so wrong with everyone helping on a group project? It's the norm." Phineas said defensively

"Yes, but this is a bit more personal, isn't it?"

"Why? Everyone's rooting for us, why shouldn't everyone help."

"Isabella's not helping."

Phineas rolled his eyes. "That's not the same and you know it."

"Yes, but she doesn't. It doesn't help that you've been avoiding her at school and at home."

"I have not been avoiding Isabella!" Phineas paused for a second. "Well maybe a little bit, I don't want her to find out too early."

"She's not happy Phineas." Ferb crossed his arms. "In fact, she's leaning on being pretty pissed about this."

"Well I can't do a lot about that, can I?" He stared wistfully into the middle distance. "At least not until Monday..."

Ferb snapped his fingers, bringing his brother back to the present. "For now though, try and ease it off a little. Maybe cut a few things out of the building schedule. Act normal. Be normal."

"We're not normal people Ferb. In fact, you always tell me there are no normal people."

"Just act casual, alright?" Ferb was not amused at this point. "You don't want Izzy getting worked up over you being in trouble, do you? For christs' sake, spend some time with your friends Phineas."

Phineas sighed. "I guess you're right. Persides, I can get most of the work done over the weekend anyway."

Ferb slapped on the back, smiling. "Exactly. Now let's go see what's happened to Buford's locker." They left the room, chattering about other things; the next space adventure film; whether Milo had caused the power cut on Sunday; if Buford and Adyson were ever going to talk to each other again. The rain had died down, and Ferb could feel the pain from his head recede. Maybe he could get them to calm down. He was in control of the situation. Later he'd be able to formulate a proper plan, but he reckoned he'd gotten Phineas back into his box. Maybe there was a light at the end of this tunnel of love.

"You'd tell me if Isabella was up to something silly, wouldn't you?" Phineas asked, out of the blue.

"Course," Ferb said without thinking.

"Thanks bro. I can always count on you to do the right thing."

Ferb internally winced at what he'd just said.

Worse, his headache was back.

Authors' Notes

Sorry for the week delay everyone, work is beginning to get in the way, but I should be able to get next week's chapter out on time. Very heavy on Ferb's POV for the last few chapters, primarily because I find him easier to write (sweary Ferb is currently my favourite Headcanon) but we'll switch back to poor Isabella's for the next few.

A couple of quick notes:

- The Tea thing is a Star Trek reference.

- Look up Isambard Kingdom Brunel, he's made from the same cloth as Phineas and Ferb. Terrifyingly brilliant engineer.

fabberabbe: glad you're enjoying it, hope this chapter is as good as the rest!

defiant00: As you've probably read, things' don't get that much better for Ferb. At least not till he's had a few more chapters of torment for our pleasure.