A/N: Another really long one but I can't help it! Please keep reviewing! I really couldn't do this without you guys! Thanks for reading!

Chapter Four

Going Places, Seeing Stuff

The morning after my day out wasn't so great.

I had already pushed for time the night before, telling myself that it was fine to stay for one more drink with Gil' and Francis, I could always just take the next train home- I didn't need to worry about it!

What I didn't anticipate was that the late train I finally took got delayed halfway home for almost two hours. It was almost one in the morning by the time I stumbled through my front door, totally dizzy from my wearing off tipsy-ness and fatigue. Even after all that, it didn't stop my alarm buzzing loudly at half five the next day. I felt like I had only just closed my eyes and now I had to get back up again!

I considered calling up Feli and telling him I was really sorry but wouldn't be able to open for another hour, just for the sake of trying to sleep off the bad taste in my mouth and the aching drill like feeling in my head for a little longer. I was so tired. I barely ever went to bed much past midnight, and when I did it was because I didn't have work the next day.

But as I contemplated taking a little extra time, I remembered Lovino. I was already closing early just so I could take him out somewhere! I couldn't really afford to open late too.

At least by taking him out later it meant rushing to get ready that morning for a pre-work visit wasn't necessary, and so I was given the small luxury of a long, long hot shower and a cooked breakfast of comfort foods to gently wake me up. At least I got to do this for Lovi!

I ended up making it to the cafe. I got there to see Feli and another of our part time workers, Arthur waiting for me. Maybe I wasn't quite as early as usual, but it was before our opening time so I let it go!

I unlocked and we all made it in, Feli went to put away our jackets and bags for us as Arthur stuck around so he and I set up in the ten minutes we had before we had to turn the sign in the door from reading 'closed' to 'open'.

"Rough night?" I slowly looked up to see Arthur looking over at me as he turned on the coffee machine and Feli hurried around, putting cakes in the showcase cabinet.

"What?" My hand went instinctively to feel at where huge dark bags were hanging obviously under my eyes that morning, "Oh no... Is it really so noticeable?" I looked around for some kind of mirror to inspect the damage, "I did my best to get rid of them!"

Arthur gave a small laugh, "You don't look so awful. You're moving around like a frail elderly man, hungover by any chance?"

At least that brought a smile, "Me? Can you imagine your nurturing, happy boss with a hangover?" I shook my head, "I'm exhausted, I was out late and the train got delayed coming home."

Arthur nodded understandingly as he declared the cafe officially open for the day though a little early, "Night out in another town?"

When Arthur first started here, here and I were not good friends. He was cold, and grumpy, and snappy. He had just graduated from high school last year and had planned to go back home to a university in the UK, where he was from, but he decided to stay with some girl he met, and was now toughing it out here for another year. He and the girl had ended it a while ago but he had committed to another year, he couldn't really change his mind. The girl was gone, he wasn't. At least he seemed to like it here.

I secretly believed that Arthur really liked guys. He never stayed with any girl for long, and I never noticed him actively pursuing one, even the pretty ones that would come in and flutter their eyelashes over the counter at him as they ordered.

It's not like I could push him- even if a cute guy came in and he blushed if their hands even brushed. Arthur seemed to still think he was straight and Feli (who shared my beliefs) and I had to accept that Arthur needed to figure that sort of thing out alone.

He and I had warmed to each other over the past year, it was only a couple of months until he left us, but I was glad to have seen him mellowed a little and he and I understood each other some more. We were even good friends! Not long ago I'd have never thought we'd even be on good terms!

I shrugged, "Something like that. Paying a visit to old friends in Newhurst."

Arthur looked surprised for a moment, "Really?" He gave a small laugh, "I almost went to school there."

I raised my brow, "Wow really?" If Arthur had, it suddenly hit me that if he had gone to that school it was likely he'd know Matthew's step-brother... I imagined someone as young as Arthur taking his life and I felt so sad. The poor boy... I wonder what would have changed if Arthur had decided to go to the school in Newhurst. Would Alfred still be underground at seventeen? Maybe the two would have been friends. Maybe Arthur could have been the one friend he needed.

"What made you decide on here?" I was still light hearted. It would be absolutely ridiculous to blame Arthur for not deciding on Newhurst just because of the slight possibility it could have prevented a death. All kinds of things lead to unrelated consequences. That's how the world works, we just never know what might have happened if we had done things slightly differently!

Arthur watched out the window, "I had to pick a team for cheerleading." He told me matter of factly, "I had to toss a coin in the end. I was set on Newhurst and their high school, but I saw somewhere else just as I was making up my mind and then I couldn't decide."

I nodded understandingly. That's right... Arthur had been a male cheerleader... That seemed so strange! It was hard to imagine him as anyone whose job it was to raise morale! But I heard he was pretty good, he even showed me a clip of them performing and it was far better than I thought! I guess some parts of him just didn't come out when he wasn't a performer.

He nodded to the window and we all watched as our first customer made his way over. It wouldn't be long until we were full of people. I smiled, here we go.

.oO0Oo.

I did as I said I would, and an hour before usual, the cafe was shut and Feli and Arthur were allowed to go. I had to get Lovi, he didn't know I was coming, but I thought it might be a nice surprise for him to be taken out.

I asked a nurse I bumped into if it was fine if I took Lovino out for a few hours and she confirmed that as long as I had him back by seven, I could do what I liked with him. That was four hours, plenty time for our trip!

I found his door agar again and I smiled as I poked my head around for a peek at him, "Knock knock..." I stepped into his room.

"What the fuck!?"

His yell was loud and suddenly he grabbed his blanket. He was lying out on the bed, his shirt wasn't on him, it lay by his ankle but then fell to the floor as he desperately covered himself.

I laughed as I watched, that was such an extreme reaction! "Calm down!" I exclaimed.

He looked at me in horror, "Calm down!? You fucking walked in on me topless!" He was wrapped up in the blanket, hiding the smooth skin from me.

I walked to where his shirt fell and picked it up for him he snatched it. I couldn't stop laughing; he was just such an animated person.

He scowled at me, "Go away! I need to put my shirt on!"

I frowned, "Lovi, do I really need to leave the room for that? We're both guys, it's okay!"

He looked at me in shock, "You jackass, it is not okay!" He whipped me on the arm lightly with his shirt, "You want to stare at my chest, don't you!? Uou perverted freak!"

I laughed loudly and turned my back to him, "Is this okay? I can't see you, I promise!" I even put my hands over my eyes.

There was rustling behind me, "Better not have a fucking mirror or something..." He muttered.

I shook my head quickly, "I can't see a thing Lovino..." I gave him a moment to sort himself before asking, "Hey, why were you lying there half naked anyway?"

"I was hot! Duh! What, do you think I like lying like that!?" He lay back and I turned to see him again, "I didn't even think you were coming today now you peek at me without a shirt? What the hell?"

I frowned, "You didn't think I was coming?" I thought he would have expected me by now at least...

He leaned forward and picked at the skin of his bare foot, "Well... Why would I?" He sounded a little unsure of himself...

I tilted my head and leaned forward, "Lovi... We're a team now! I said I'd come today, didn't I?"

He sighed and left his foot alone. They were pretty feet, with small neat toenails and slender ankles. He now wound his arms around his legs tucked to his chest, "Maybe you saw how dumb my bucket list was and pissed off."

I swallowed hard as I suddenly remembered the list. My mind jumped back to the disaster the day before... The fully booked hot air balloon and the panic I felt. It all came back in a rush. I knew I was supposed to leave it to Gilbert and Francis but until they got something secured I wouldn't feel good.

I shook that thought off, I couldn't let Lovi see that worry, not when this was all he seemed to be really looking forward to it.

"Never!" I exclaimed, "I can't wait to get through that!" I smiled at him as his eyes turned to look at me, "When I say I'll visit, I will."

He made a frustrated noise and stretched out, "Easy for you to say!" He snapped, "You never visit in the afternoon! What am I supposed to think!?"

I sighed... Maybe he was right. If I was going to do this, I needed to tell him. It wasn't fair to suddenly change me routine!

"What's your number?" I asked.

He looked at me sceptically, "My phone number?"

I nodded, "That's right! I can call you up or text you when I'm gonna show up, so you don't have to think I've left you!"

He bit his lip for a moment before rolling over and grabbing a smart phone. It was an old model, but it was still a pretty nice looking iphone. I was a little embarrassed as I slowly pulled my battered flip phone out of my pocket.

But he didn't laugh at me, he saw it but didn't make any comments, just calmly read me his number and I gave him his.

"Hey." He had his camera pointed at me, I waved at it, "Quit that, just look at the camera, it's for the caller id."

"Do you want me to pose?" I inched a little closer.

He clicked his tongue, "Whatever, just let me take it!" He pushed my shoulder back, "Stay still!"

"I could just smile?"

He looked like he was about to throw the phone, "I don't care, just look at it and don't move!"

I stuck with just smiling cheerily, I couldn't think of a good pose.

"Finally." He muttered as he tapped my name in as 'jackass'. It was really great to see he already gave me a nickname! I was so glad!

I snapped his photo. The first one I got was one him flipping me off. I told him it was great, and it really did capture his personality, but I deleted it and used the one I snapped moments later of him looking out the window with the sun on his face, his expression neutral. He looked much better in that one.

I shoved my flip phone in my pocket and stood up abruptly.

"Going somewhere?" He looked me up and down. He looked like he had just smelled something really bad.

I grinned, "Yup! And you are too!" I gestured for him to get up, "I'm taking you somewhere!"

He looked a little thrown off, "Out?"

"That's right!" I took his tiny hand in mine and patted it, "You said it yourself, you don't get out much... So let's go out. The nurse told me it was a-okay!"

He stared at my hand in his, "Fine."

I released his hand as he got up out of the bed and went around the other side of it to suddenly produce a bag.

That was easier than I thought. From what I had come to know of Lovi, he liked to debate things, but this time...He just went with it! Just like that!

Maybe he really did need to get out. How long had he been on that bed?

He punched my arm lightly and I realised that I'd been spacing out a little. I blinked and focused on him in front of me. He was taller standing than he looked sitting down. He had a bundle under one arm, "Leave me alone to get changed." He ordered and nodded to the still open door.

I looked him up and down, yeah; he definitely wasn't dressed to go anywhere! He was still in lounge-wear and the clothes he had under his arm looked like they'd actually be fit for whatever we were gonna do.

"I'll just wait outside, si?" I pointed to the direction he nodded in.

"Yes!" He walked over to the door and even opened it further for me, "Give me a damn minute."

He watched me as I left, I waved as I stepped out,

"Lovi!" I yelped as I stumbled forward. He had kicked my butt for good measure! "That hurt!"

"Go to hell." I heard him tell me quietly before the door slammed.

I laughed quietly to myself as I waited. This was certainly worth closing early for. If it didn't mean losing money, I'd do this every day! I was just in an all together good mood as I waited on him. I smiled and waved at the doctors that passed, sharing my happiness.

He came out around three minutes later. He was dressed in black skinny jeans, a white t-shirt with a tiny rectangular slogan in black writing in a rectangle over the front of it that just said 'I don't care'. Over it he had a red white and black chequered shirt that was left open. He had a couple of long necklaces on with it, simple ones with tiny charms on the end of them. I looked at one of them and it was a tiny mini totem pole carved intricately out of dark brown wood.

He looked...

Amazing!

But it was such a contrast to the cute bright clothes he was wearing in his hospital bed, it was like he had made a transformation in there!

He noticed me glaring and shoved past me, "What?"

He walked on ahead and I followed. He knew how to dress himself, and in these street clothes he didn't look like he was a hospital patient at all! He just looked like a really attractive young guy.

I didn't catch him up until we were in the elevator together. He leaned against the side and studied me.

I shifted under his gaze and tried to meet his eyes, "You okay?"

He whipped his head away again, "Trying to figure out where you're about to take me."

"By looking at me?" I patted down my person, there was nothing on me to suggest any particular place.

Perhaps that was because I hadn't actually picked anywhere yet...

I could take him to a movie? But that'd be just us sitting in a dark room, and I felt like this guy had done enough sitting around lately.

What else was there? Oh! Perhaps we could have—

"You better not be taking me to get more damn coffee." He told me abruptly.

Oh... Well that ended that train of thought, "Hey, why not?" If we were somewhere nice then that sounded like a great idea to me!

He raised his eyebrows, "I know I asked for it once, but it doesn't mean I want it over and over! You keep brining it in for me, I've had enough!"

"It was only twice!"

"Too much, dammit!"

We arrived on the ground floor and headed for the exit together and I nodded, "Okay. Not coffee..." I shrugged, there wasn't much left but, "How about a walk?"

He shot me a look, "A walk?"

"Well... Yeah!" Our town was pretty and he wanted to stretch his legs, right? "We can talk; get to know each other..."

He looked to the ground as we made it out into the glaring April sun, "I guess." He looked ahead, cupping his hand to shade his eyes from the brightness, "Fine! Take me on a walk."

I felt triumphant, at least he agreed! I made a mental note that we'd take a route the finished at the big fountain and we'd spend sometime there.

We started side by side in silence, I desperately thought of something to fill it. I said we'd talk, didn't I? Just walking in silence wouldn't be interesting.

"When did you last get out and around?" I decided that this was semi-safe small talk, besides, the whole reason I decided that this was the thing to do with him was because he said himself that he didn't really get out.

He sighed and looked around, "I've been in that fucking room for almost three weeks." He stretched his arms out as we walked, "I'm in and out so the doctors can play pretend like they're doing shit to help me."

I bit my lip and looked at him. I remembered a question Francis had put to me the day before. About how long Lovi had been ill,

"You do that a lot?" It'd be a little rude to go right in that, so I figured I'd just try and figure it out by the conversation.

"Ha! Too fucking much!" He gave an ironic laugh, "I lost count. I stink of hospital even when I'm at home now."

I ran my fingers down his arm with a sympathetic look, "I'm sorry it's so hard."

He pulled his arm away, "Shut the hell up. I'm used to it."

I moved in front of him and walked backwards, "Tell me about it." I wanted to know the whole life story.

He scowled at me, "The fuck are you doing, jackass?! You're blocking my damn view! Move!"

I smiled, "If I do will you explain it all to me?"

His face crinkled, "What is there to explain?"

I moved out of his way and nudged his arm, "Come on!"

He looked up for a second; there was a long pause where I shot him glances in anticipation. He finally spoke again, "I should have brought sunglasses."

"Lovino!" I was about to tell him to stop changing the subject before stopping... Lovi's life wasn't ordinary, it was probably painful... I couldn't force him.

"What?"

I shook my head, "It doesn't matter, I'm sorry."

But instead of that being the end of conversation it seemed to change Lovi. He let out a loud huff, "Why the hell do you wanna hear all this? You're probably just a stalker creep."

He stopped but I didn't dare talk. Lovi was small, he was much shorter than me and he looked like a very pretty guy but against me, he could really hold his own. He seemed to control the conversation between us and right now he had me silent and listening. He didn't have to tell me that he was about to speak again, I just knew.

And he did, "A week and a half after my seventh birthday, when the cards were still up and the balloons still had their damn helium, I was diagnosed. I was getting a lot of fucking bitch headaches and it was grandpa that took me to the doctors about day I went to get the results of whatever voodoo shit they did to figure out what was wrong with my head, I still wore my special glitter foil badge on that had its bright happy message on it, pinned to my shirt. That was from Grandpa, that badge.I couldn't wear it after I came home, I couldn't wear any of the fucking clothes I wore to the doctors that day after. Fuck knows how I understood I was dying; they sure didn't just say it outright. But I knew. I must have because I got so scared I pissed my pants and cried so much that no one knew what the hell to do with me. Grandpa cried too. The birthday present that I had wished for so hard wasn't even out of its box and I was bawling my eyes out because they let slip to a seven year old that he was about to die."

"Oh, Lovi..." My throat was tight. Why was it so soon after his birthday? And why did that make me so incredibly sad that the pit of my stomach felt like it was on fire?

He didn't even flinch at how upset I was. The thought of some tiny boy, still glowing from birthday love, he pinned on his birthday badge that morning that he was so proud of, because kids love that stuff don't they? It stabbed me right in the gut. He looked at the gift he had been given with fizzing excitement. Maybe he planned to play with it after he got home. Maybe he broke it from sadness and frustration instead of playing with it like he promised he would when he asked for it.

He and I just kept walking as he carried on like he was recounting a regular day, "They tried to treat it, but hell knows it didn't work. Right now my hair is so thin it's fucking disgusting because of some gross chemo. They told me I had until I was sixteen before I died... On my sixteenth birthday I hadn't been so happy since my seventh. I thought I was invincible because I lived more than they first told me. I thought I cheated death or some shit like that. One month later I was told that twenty-one really was gonna be it." He sighed, "I'm nineteen and they told me I have around six months now. They say that at this stage they can be pretty accurate. So I won't even make it to twenty-one. It's been a fucking roller coaster."

He sighed hard. That was it.

I swallowed. I needed to say something! I was the one who pushed him to talk about and even though he didn't seem that upset about it, his story was overwhelmingly sad. I couldn't just let a moment between us like this pass,

"What did you do for your sixteenth?" I blurted out, I couldn't think of what else to ask. If I let the silence continue, the conversation would never pick back up, and then he's regret telling me. I couldn't have that.

He sucked in his cheeks as he thought back, "I had my first drink." He told me.

I bit my lip, "That's it...?" I thought he'd be a little wilder than that.

He rolled his eyes, "No." He sighed, "But I hate thinking of that day, it was so fucking pathetic."

I nodded, smiling softly, "I get it." I put my arm around his shoulders and pulled him to my side, "But you're still here!" He tried to struggle out of my grip, "And you have a whole bucket list to get through!"

He wrinkled his nose and finally shoved me off of him, "Shut up! It's not like we'll really get through that crap! You probably laughed at it."

"What? Lovi no!" That was such a silly thing to say, "I think that it's great, it'll be really fun!"

"Yeah, whatever, it's dumb."

"It isn't." I insisted, "Now..." We were nearing the fountain, "How about popcorn? I'll buy!" I nodded over to a stand.

He followed my gaze and shrugged, "Whatever you want. As long as it's salted."

I felt a flutter of excitement; it was great when he agreed with me! "Okay!" I nodded quickly, "You go sit over there."

He didn't say anything, just stalked over to the fountain and sat down, his attention on the water.

As I stood in the line and got out my money, the uncertainty came back. I was really worried about that hot air balloon ride, what the heck did I say if he asked about it? I was a horrible liar, but he wouldn't really feel that great about the truth, would he?

I bought us a large bag of popcorn to share and pretended things were all okay as I made my way back to Lovi. He had one finger dipped in the water and was swirling it around slowly.

"You want one? It's warm." I offered him the bag.

He plucked a few popped kernels from the bag and pushed them though his lips, "Thanks." He yawned and stretched out watching the crowds of people as they milled around, trying to do some shopping before everywhere closed.

I took a handful before placing the popcorn bag between us. I looked where he was looking, wondered what he was thinking.

He chewed his lip for a moment before speaking again, "I really wasn't kidding when I say I don't get out much; it's pretty nice to just chill out here." He let his head hang back, "Thank you for this."

I was quiet.

He really thanked me...

"I think it's good too." I told him, "I don't get to always relax like this either."

He suddenly splashed me, "Bullshit!" He laughed, it wasn't a sarcastic laugh, it was a lovely tinkling one, "You just do what you like!"

I tapped his little nose, "You'd be surprised." I winked. Okay, so I could probably go out more if I wanted to, but he and I were sort of the same. Nowhere to go and no one to go with.

He jabbed my side making me yelp, "You talk out of your ass..." He shifted himself to cross his legs and turn his body to me. I did they same, "How old are you? I bet your in the prime of your life and all that crap."

I was still surprised by that filthy langue of his, "I'm twenty-four." I scratched at my neck a little embarrassed by my age. I was a whole half decade older than him.

"You're kidding?" His eyes widened, oh my, he did seem surprised, "What the fuck?!"

I put my face in my hands, laughing but still embarrassed, "It's not that bad!"

He snorted and poked me with his foot, "You're an old man, jackass!"

It was my turn to splash him, getting it on his shirt, "You're older than I expected too!"

I was true that Lovi looked younger than he was; he had such a pure looking face and soft skin.

"What?" He screwed his face up again, "What the hell? How old do I look!?" He sounded offended.

I considered the question before deciding to avoid it, "How old do I look?"

He splashed me again and took some more popcorn, "Asshole! I asked you first, okay!?" He glowed, "Now answer me before I shove you in this damn fountain!"

I laughed, "Fine! Fine..." I studied his disgruntled face, "Sixteen or seventeen." I told him in confidence.

He didn't reply for a moment, he just played with that crazy strand of his hair and furrowed his brow pensively, "Why?" He asked eventually.

I shrugged, "You look older now I guess; maybe it was the bright clothing... And you just look really youthful! Don't look like that, it's cute! Now, how old do I look?"

"Great I get to die with a baby face," He muttered darkly before he leaned forward and scrutinised me, "I don't know... Twenty-one?"

I nodded, as I thought about this... That wasn't so bad was it? That was a great age to be seen as! I decided to continue the exchange in the same way he did, "Why?"

He shrugged, "I don't know! You just do! Who cares how?"

I chewed my thumb nail, "Do you think it's good?" I scooted forward and teased, "Do you think I'm hot?"

His face fired up so quick that I was impressed. He went bright red, even his ears! I had to suppress a laugh so I wasn't rude!

He leaned forward and punched me hard in the arm, "What the fuck is that question!?" He grabbed some popcorn and proceeded to launch them at me, "Stupid! Stupid! Dumb question!" I had to put my arm up to shield myself, he ran out of popcorn and started to hit me, "Why the fuck would you ask that!?"

I laughed as he lost his temper, "I'm kidding, I'm kidding! Lovi, stop!" I was lying on my back, he was overpowering me!

He finally quit beating me, "Well don't say those things!" He was still red.

We continued like that for hours! Our little trip out was so much better than I thought. We even had to run back to the hospital because we were almost late. I walked him back to his room and he seemed almost upset to see me go. I really liked hanging around with this guy, he was an absolute live wire and totally crazy, but aside from my employees I hadn't had a friend like that for a long time.

And said I looked twenty-one which I quickly decided was a great thing.

And he never actually denied that I was hot!