When she looks into that window, the window separating the four doctors from the patient on the other side of the glass wall, she knows. She needs to get there, to do something, she isn't going to watch someone die right in front of her.
When she runs through the door, pulling on her masks, she can hear Mark's voice yelling her name. Derek says nothing, and when she glances back up at the glass he isn't even looking at her.
She brings herself back to reality and rushes around the operating table, and Mark is yelling again, screaming, "Get the hell out of there!" and she stumbles through her response.
"She's awake, Mark, she's awake and open on the table. I need to know her weight so I can dose her…"
She's trailing off, she knows, and Mark finally calls back, "She looks about sixty kilos."
She pushes down on the syringe and lets the medicine flow into the patient, taking ragged breaths as she breathes, "It's okay. You're okay. It's okay…" And she's not sure anymore whether or not she's really saying it to herself.
"Got it." She manages, and closes her eyes for a moment, trying to focus. Stay standing. Stay standing.
She can feel herself starting to fade, the toxins affecting her system more and more, and suddenly she's dizzy and everything's spinning and she can't breathe, and she runs, crashing into a cart and knocking over supplies, the automatic door opening as her lungs refuse to fill once again.
She collapses now, feeling strong arms wrapping around her and pulling her close, keeping her from hitting the tile. Derek, she thinks, but then the other voice breaks the silence and she can feel another arm brushing past her and she knows.
"I've got you. I've got you. I've got you."
She still can't breathe and she can't see or think or speak, and everything is this huge blur around her and Mark is trying to keep her from collapsing.
This is wrong. This is the wrong man, the wrong arms to catch her, just…wrong. She peers into the OR, watching Derek work without even a glance back at her, and she knows, now, that it's over.
She lets Mark slide her down to the floor, holding her head up and grasping madly for the oxygen mask.
"Derek…" she whispers, and then her world turns black.