Chapter 4

Kathryn and Chakotay were laughing uncontrollably, hanging on to each other as they made their way down the corridor to her quarters. More than one crewman passed them with an awkward glance, but they didn't care. After that little display on the bridge, their relationship news would be all over the ship by tomorrow morning anyway.

They stumbled through the door to her quarters, still giggling, when Kathryn stopped with a sharp intake of breath. On her table was the largest arrangement of flowers she had ever seen, a riot of colors and shapes and species of plants she didn't know. A card lay beside it, and she walked over to pick it up. Embossed in a flowing, elegant calligraphic style were the words, "Be happy, Kathy." She smiled and turned to Chakotay. "I think we have been given Q's blessing."

He smirked, "I'm not sure I want his blessing, but it is preferable to the wrath of the Continuum." He crossed the room to the table and bent over to inspect the flowers. "I can't even begin to identify half of these," he said, turning the vase slowly.

Kathryn noticed a flickering coming from the other room and started toward it when she halted in her bedroom doorway with another gasp. He came up behind her and chuckled. Arranged around the room were several low-burning candles. Lying on the bed was a sheer, black negligee clearly not meant to actually cover anything, and alongside it a pair of black silk pajama bottoms. "I'm surprised he didn't put satin sheets on the bed," Chakotay said.

"No, he knows better after the last time."

"The last time?"

She giggled. "That time Q decided he wanted to mate with me, he turned my bed into a red satin monstrosity complete with heart-shaped pillows. It was really quite atrocious."

Chakotay wrapped his arms around her from behind and nuzzled her neck. "You see," he said huskily, "if Kathryn Janeway can charm the pants off one of the most powerful beings in the universe, I never had a chance."

She put her hands over his and leaned back into him. "As exasperating as Q is, he really does care about us." She bent her knees slightly and straightened again, rubbing her body along his. "He's not the one I want, though."

Chakotay groaned into her neck and pulled her tighter into him. "I believe we were in the middle of something when we were interrupted."

She turned around in his arms and pulled his head down to her neck. "About there, I think," she sighed. His hands slid down her body to her hips, and he gripped her and pulled her into him. She felt his need for her pushing against her, and again she rubbed her body up and down his, a slow heat spreading from her middle to the rest of her body. She whispered in his ear, "I want you, Chakotay. Make love to me."

He kept one arm wrapped her and leaned over to sweep Q's gifts off the bed with his other hand. He gently stepped her backward until the back of her legs met the edge of the bed. His hands softly cupped her cheeks and he pulled her lips to his, pressing into her, his tongue darting into her mouth over and over again until she moaned. He broke away and gazed into her eyes while he reached behind her and found the zipper of her dress. He paused to make sure it was what she wanted. She barely nodded her head as she reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it upward. He unzipped her dress then raised his arms so she could pull the shirt off. She tossed it to the side as he reached to her shoulders and began to slide the dress off her arms and let it drop to the floor. She reached for the button on his pants and as he took a half-step back so she could get to it, he let his eyes roam over her body.

She was wearing matching silk-and-lace bra and panties in a soft pink color. He had never seen her wear pink, or even thought of her in pale pink, but the sight of it on her made him groan with desire. He felt his pants drop down around his feet, and he stepped out of them. He eased her back onto the bed and when she slid up to the pillows, he lay beside her. "You are beautiful," he told her, his voice deepened with desire. He trailed his fingertips across her chest and down between her breasts to her stomach, watching her muscles clench under his touch. He leaned over and kissed the top of her breast above her bra. He felt her take a deep breath and shudder. He looked up at her and was surprised to see a tear falling from the corner of her eye.

He raised himself up so she could see his face and said quietly, "Hey, we don't have to do this. We can stop."

"No, it's not that." Her voice had a quiver in it that tugged at his heart. She caressed his arm with her fingers. "It's just… Chakotay, are you really in love with me?"

He pressed his hand against her cheek. "Kathryn, I have never loved anyone the way I love you."

"I'm sorry," she said, another tear escaping to glisten along her temple.

"For what? What's wrong, my love?"

"Everything. There are so many things I have done wrong; so many times when I should have done things differently, especially for you."

"Shhh. Kathryn, please don't do this to yourself. You don't owe me anything. You have been everything to me. You are everything to me. We are together now, and nothing will keep us apart again." He lowered his head onto the pillow and pulled her over to him. She lay her head on his chest and he could feel her warm tears on his skin.

Her voice shook with the emotions overwhelming her. "I was happy with you on New Earth. I never told you that, and I should have. I would have been content to stay there forever if the crew had not found a way to rescue us. I wanted that life with you, making a home together."

He held her in the circle of his arms and let her cry, his heart aching at her pain but knowing this was something she needed to do. "Kathryn, I knew. I also understood why you couldn't continue that life when we were rescued. That's all in the past now, love. We have the chance to build a new life together here on the ship. We don't have to stop being Captain and Commander in order to be Kathryn and Chakotay. We can do both."

After a few minutes, he felt her breathing become more regular, and she reached up with a hand to wipe her eyes. She sat up, keeping her back to him, and slid off the bed to walk into the bathroom. He got up and went to the replicator for a glass of water. When she came back, he was sitting on the end of the bed undecided if he should get dressed and sit in the other room or stay where he was. She walked over to him and knelt on the floor in front of him, sitting back on her heels. "I'm sorry," she said again, her head bowed. "If you want to leave, I understand."

He reached under her chin and raised her head to him. "I'm not," he said with a soft smile. "I'm not going anywhere, Kathryn. I know this is scary for you. It is a little scary for me, too. But there is nowhere else I would rather be than here with you. Even 15 years from now." He patted the bed beside him. "Come, sit with me."

She got off the floor and settled beside him, her leg touching his. He put his arm around her and she leaned her head on his shoulder. "I'm supposed to be strong," she sighed.

He rested his chin on her head and said, "Not for me, not here. When you leave this room, then you can be whatever you need to be. But never behind these walls with me. Not if you truly love me."

She turned her face up to his. "I do, Chakotay, more than you will ever know. Do you really believe we can make this work?"

"What is really going to change? Other than the crew knowing we are together, nothing is going to change in our daily routine. We will work together just as we have always done. I have loved you the past four years and we were pretty good together." He brushed her hair back from her face and said, "Our jobs are who we are. We work toward the same goal, the same dreams. How is that going to change?"

She kissed him on the cheek. "I guess you are right. We are too much the consummate Captain and Commander. I won't keep you from doing your job because I know how much you love it, and I know how much I depend on you to get me and Voyager through the day in one piece. That won't change because I can't do my job without you." She gazed at him with those cobalt blues that seared his soul and said softly, "It will work because I am never letting you go. I want to build a life with you, Chakotay, no matter where we are."

He pulled the covers back on the bed and slid back up to the pillows again, gently pulling her with him. He lay behind on his side and pulled her into the contours of his body then covered them with the sheet. He listened to her quiet breathing, feeling her chest rise and fall under his arm, and soon they had both drifted off to sleep.

Chakotay awoke a couple of hours later to the feel of her hand making small circles on his chest. He was on his back, and she was raised up on her elbow, her head resting in her hand, while the other explored his body. He raised his arm and wrapped it behind her. She leaned over and pressed her lips to his, softly, gently, her hand running down his side and back up to his chest. Down it slid again, stronger and surer, this time along his stomach and the front of his hip. She lifted her leg over his and pressed her body into his side. He parted his lips and her tongue darted in, finding his and circling it briefly. She raised her head again and the desire that darkened her eyes sent a jolt through him. He used his hand behind her back to increase the pressure of her body on his, his hand sliding down to her buttock. She still had on her bra and panties, and the feel of the silk under his fingers was arousing. He felt her lightly thrust her hips, pushing her heat against his thigh, and his erection grew.

Her hand continued following the trail up and down his body, each time coming closer to his center. He raised his hand to the back of her neck and pulled her into another kiss, this one much more passionate, more insistent, than the last. As their tongues twined together, her hand reached his hardened manhood and she caressed him through his boxers as she thrust her hips against his leg. She whimpered softly then pulled her lips away from his. She rolled on top of him and sat up, and he could feel the heat of her core against him. She arched her back, her fingertips leaving a line of fire down his chest and sides. He reached up to her and ran his hands up her ribs to the sides of her breasts. He watched her nipples harden against the silk of her pink bra and used his thumbs to circle them.

She reached behind her back to unhook her bra. Chakotay longed to undress her, but he understood that she needed the control right now, needed to find her way into the love between them and break down the walls she had built around her heart. He caressed her thighs as she set the clasp free and slid her bra off and onto the floor. He sat up and took her nipple in his mouth, sucking lightly and dancing the tip of his tongue over her breast. She arched her back again, pushing into his mouth while sliding her heated core over his. His hand was squeezing her other breast and she grabbed his head, a soft moan escaping her lips. She ran her fingers through his hair then pulled her breast away from him. She pushed him back onto the bed and moved down until she found the band of his boxers. He lifted his hips for her so she could slide them off and set him free. She dropped them to the floor, stood up, and slowly slid her underwear down and kicked them off.

She was standing at the foot of the bed, every curve and contour of her body revealed to him. In his eyes, she was the most beautiful woman in the world, and the sight of her nude body and the passion on her face sent a plasma flare through his nerves. She straddled him again, keeping her body hovering above his as she leaned down to thrust her tongue in his mouth. He grabbed her hips and ran his hands up her sides and back down to her buttocks, the feel of her soft skin swelling him even more. Slowly, she lowered herself to him until he felt her slide over him. She teased him, using his hardness to rub her swollen clit. She was making soft, throaty sounds with each slide over him, the fire building within her. She broke the kiss and sat up, her back arching and pushing her against him.

His breath was ragged, his heart pounding in his chest and his need for release threatening to overwhelm him. "Kathryn," he growled, "I can't take much more."

She reached her hand between their bodies and grabbed his erection, already slick with her own need. She slowly stoked him until he grabbed her hips and thrust his hips against her. She guided the tip of his member along her wet folds until he was positioned at her opening, then she rose up on her knees and lowered herself slowly until he was inside her. He could feel her tight core as she squeezed her muscles around him and he pushed his head back into the pillow, fighting to keep his hips from thrusting the rest of the way into her. She rose up again until just the tip was inside her, her hand stroking the base of his shaft. She gazed into his eyes and he was lost in a deep blue sea as she flicked her hips and took him into her burning core. "Ahh!" Her cry echoed through the room as she started to ride him, taking him deeper with each thrust. She opened her legs wider and with the next buck against him, she took all of him.

He knew he was fighting a losing battle for control over the building explosion within him. He started thrusting in time with her, each downward buck of her hips meeting his upward surge and burying him to the hilt in her wet core. His fingers slid from her hip and across her stomach until his thumb found her clit. She cried out again and her muscles clenched around his cock. She threw her head back, her hands grabbed onto his sides, and she rode him faster and harder. He circled her clit with his thumb and felt the contractions around him each time he brushed over the sensitive button. She cried out again. "Chakotay, I'm going to come!"

His guttural moan joined hers as the next downward thrust sent her over the edge, her rippling muscles pulling him with her. He jerked into her as deeply as he could and held her there, the flash of his release stiffening his body, his cries joining hers as the flames consumed them and they soared through the firestorm together. He cried out again, lost to time and space in a world where there was only her, joined by heart and soul together in infinite and unbreakable bonds.

Finally, the ripples inside her slowed and he slowed with her. He slid his hands around her back and pulled her down into a long, tender kiss. She rested against him, her breasts heaving against his chest, her arms shaking as braced them against the bed. She rose off of him and stretched her body along his side, her muscles still trembling with the power of her release. She stared into the dark pools of his eyes and knew deep in her soul that she would never be with another, that Chakotay was her lifeblood.