Chapter Four- Faces We Hide
"So, couldn't sleep?" Blaine asked, sitting next to a yawning Kurt at breakfast.
Kurt twirled the bracelet on his wrist absentmindedly. "Something like that. What's on the agenda for today?"
"Well classes, and maybe some coffee for you." Blaine said when he yawned again. "After school?"
"Sure," Kurt said with a smile. Kurt looked up and caught Sebastian walking out the door. "Look, I'll see you in practice." Kurt grabbed his bag and hurried out after him, leaving Blaine sitting at the table, completely bewildered. He finally caught up to Sebastian at the end of the hall. "Hey, wait up."
Sebastian turned and a smile stretched across his lips. "What's up, Hummel?"
"Here," Kurt said, pressing a thin box into Sebastian's hand. "It's not Tiffany's, but it's all I could afford." He looked away when his fingertips brushed against Sebastian's palm.
"A gift, how cute. What's it for?" Sebastian asked.
Kurt shrugged. "For letting me have fun," he said with a smile, "and for not pitying me."
"Thanks," he said, slipping the box in his pocket. "See you later, Hummel," Sebastian said turning around.
"Wait," Kurt said, grabbing Sebastian's arm. "I..."
"This isn't where you declare your undying love for me, is it?" Sebastian sneered, rolling his eyes. "In case you didn't know Hummel, I don't do relationships. Don't let your little virgin self get attached after one night of me being nice to you."
Kurt glared, letting anger be the mask for the hurt that was surging through him. "Just when I was beginning think you weren't a self absorbed ass, you prove me wrong. Maybe Blaine was right about you."
"Of course Blaine's right about me," Sebastian said. "Golden boy is right about everything."
"What do you have against him?" Kurt hissed.
"None of your business," Sebastian said. "Once again, I'm not pouring my heart out to you. I don't tell people that I just met my secrets."
"Go to hell," Kurt hissed, "and stay away from me."
-x-
"Kurt!"
"Huh?" Kurt looked up from where he was twirling his finger around his coffee cup lid.
"Are you okay Kurt? You've been awfully quiet." Blaine reached over and pulled the coffee cup away. "What's going on?"
Sebastian, Kurt wanted to say, but he didn't want Blaine to do the whole "I told you so" dance. "I'm just tired," Kurt said evasively, turning his attention to the grooves on the wooden table. He jumped when he felt Blaine's hand on his.
"Hey," Blaine said softly, his eyes glowing as he looked at Kurt with concern. He's just your friend. Just your friend, Hummel. Stop getting…turned on by him. He's handsome, you can admit that, but…stop it. In spite of these firm self-instructions, Kurt felt himself blushing. Blaine removed his hand gently.
"I'm sorry Kurt, did I—"
"It's nothing," Kurt murmured. His eyes flickered up to Blaine's. "Nothing at all."
"You don't have to lie to me," Blaine said. "If I do something that makes you uncomfortable, you have to tell me. I don't want to ever do anything to make you feel bad."
"Too late," Kurt blurted, thinking of that conversation out in the gardens.
Blaine recoiled as if he'd been slapped. "What?"
"I didn't say anything."
"Kurt, really, what's going on with you? We're friends, I told you that you could count on me for anything, that I really care about you. Whatever it is, I promise I won't get mad at you."
Kurt's cheeks were flaming. "Talking about this is what's making me uncomfortable. I…have homework. I have to go."
He stood up walked outside before he remembered that Blaine had driven them to the Lima Bean. Well FUCK.
He waited by the passenger side door until Blaine came out a few moments later. He heard the clicking of the doors unlocking and got in the car.
Blaine slid in next to him and started the engine. He fidgeted awkwardly, opened his mouth to say something, thought better of it, and backed out of the parking space. Once they were halfway back to Dalton, he gathered his courage and spoke.
"I'm not sure what's going on with you, Kurt, but I'm worried, okay? And if I did anything to upset you, I'm really, really sorry. I really want to know what it is so I can make it right."
Kurt huffed. "Just leave it, Blaine. I'll get over it soon enough."
Blaine was undeterred. "Does it have something to do with why you wanted to speak to…Sebastian this morning?" Blaine spoke his name like it pained him.
"He' s really not that bad," Kurt said dully. "I think, anyway."
Blaine arched an eyebrow. "There's a story there."
Kurt sighed and told Blaine about last night. Well, about the swimming and talking part. The kiss on the cheek and the way Sebastian had touched his cheek and looked at him…those were private. And Blaine would probably freak out anyway. "Then he was a complete jerk this morning. Honestly, it's kind of upsetting."
"I know this is isn't what you want to hear, but maybe it's better if you stay away from him. He's…complicated. And nothing but trouble. I don't want you to get hurt."
Kurt snorted. He was already hurt, no matter how this ended up. Blaine was too clueless to realize that he was always leading Kurt on, Sebastian would just dump him once he got what he wanted or he could continue being alone. There was really no winning no matter how he thought of it.
Blaine pulled into the student parking lot and Kurt sprang out of the car. "I need to be alone," he said over his shoulder as Blaine made to follow him.
Blaine stopped and watched Kurt walk away from him with a sinking feeling in his chest. He didn't want to upset Kurt even further by following him and trying to get him to talk about something he clearly didn't want to, but he also felt horrible about leaving things awkward and strained between them. He settled for following Kurt at a distance. He felt a little creepy, but he just wanted to make sure Kurt would be okay.
Blaine shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked slowly down the winding paths of the Dalton grounds. He wondered where Kurt was going; back inside, or to the gardens? He kind of hoped that Kurt was going to that special place Blaine had showed him. It'd be kind of nice if Kurt made Blaine's place his place, too. Then it would be their place. Blaine had never had a friend that was particularly special, a best friend. They'd only been talking for a few weeks, but Blaine felt like Kurt was his best friend already. There was just something about him. He understood Blaine in a way that no one else did, and it was kind of thrilling that Blaine understood Kurt in a special way as well. There was just something about Kurt that drew Blaine to him. Kurt was a really sweet, kind person who was going through a hard time and they had so much in common. They were fast friends and that totally happened sometimes. This was completely ordinary, but somehow Blaine felt that it was more than just another case of two people who 'clicked' with one another.
Kurt turned left, and Blaine's spirits fell. He was going back inside, probably to his room. Well, that was the first place a person would go to if they wanted to be alone. He quietly climbed the stairs behind him and slipped inside the large wooden doors. When Kurt started climbing up the grand staircase, Blaine knew that he'd been right, Kurt was going back to his room. Blaine felt a little sheepish and creepy as he kept following him. Kurt was completely safe on grounds and definitely inside the school. He waited until Kurt was out of sight before he climbed the stairs anyways and headed down the corridor that led to their rooms. As he neared the hallway he heard raised voices.
'Ooooh…Drama!' he thought. Everyone loves a good fight and maybe he could get his mind off Kurt with someone else's drama playing out in front of him. He quickened his pace, wanting to know who had done what to whom this time.
"Don't walk away from me!" He heard a voice shout. He realized that he recognized that voice and groaned. God, that guy really got on his nerves. He stopped just at the edge of the hall and stuck his head around the corner. Yeah, he'd been right. It was him. And Blaine couldn't believe who he was saying it to. He knew he shouldn't watch, but he was rooted to the spot. As he watched the confrontation play out, the flames of anger rose higher and higher inside of him, and he clenched his fists in an attempt to keep himself calm. He failed miserably.
-x-
Kurt made it to the second floor before he ran into someone, the exact someone he had been hoping to avoid. "Kurt." All he needed now was for Blaine to come along.
"Go away," Kurt said, grabbing the strap of his bag and walking around the tall boy standing in the middle of the hall.
"Kurt, let me explain," Sebastian said.
Kurt spun around dramatically, catching Sebastian's eyes. "Explain what? I was an idiot, I see that now. I went against what my gut was telling me and went out last night with you."
"What your gut was telling you, or what Blaine was?" Sebastian said, angry at himself for caring why Kurt was mad at him, and angry with Blaine for trying to tell Kurt not to see him.
"Going with you was a choice, one I should have thought more about." Kurt turned on his heel again.
Sebastian was absolutely sick of this kid turning his back on him. He reached out, grabbing Kurt's arm and turning him back around. "Don't walk away from me!"
"Take your fucking hands off me," Kurt hissed.
Sebastian's hand dropped, but neither boy moved away. They were inches away from each other, each one with fire in their eyes. "You were right; going with me was a choice. A choice that you made. So don't you dare try to stand here and tell me that you didn't have a good time."
"You know what? I did have fun, it was great until you woke up this morning and decided to be an ass. The person you were last night, was that the real you? He was a hell of a lot more interesting than the complete and utter dick that's standing in front of me right now. So tell, me Sebastian, are you the guy who took me swimming to loosen me up from a rough week and talked to me like a normal person, or are you guy from this morning? If you're just here for sex, then forget about it, because it's not going to fucking happen with the asshole that showed up this morning." Kurt gripped the strap of his bag until his knuckles turned white.
"Fuck you Hummel, why should I explain this to you?" Sebastian wanted to believe that he sounded angry when he said that, but all he really sounded was confused. Fuck this kid! Who the hell was he and where the hell had he come from? Sebastian wasn't supposed to explain who he was, or share secrets, or even give a fuck about another guy. Sebastian didn't give a damn how pretty Kurt looked wearing his gift or the fact that in his own pocket there was a gift from the boy. He had to get his shit together! He was Sebastian fucking Smythe and he didn't fucking do shit like this, and he had a damn good reason for it.
"Quit thinking about yourself in the third person," Kurt whispered.
Sebastian looked up, eyes wide, and wondered if he said all that out loud.
"Don't freak out," Kurt murmured. "I'm just pretty sure you're just one of those guys who thinks of himself in the third person and thinks he's too good to have to explain anything to someone like me." Kurt couldn't help the way his voice sound so...dejected. Kurt was used to people thinking he wasn't good enough or worth something because he was different.
Sebastian looked down at the very perceptive boy in front of him, surprised at how well he'd just been read. No one had ever been able to read Sebastian that well, and he wasn't sure what he was supposed to say or do about it.
"You know," Kurt said softly, capturing Sebastian's eyes with his own, "Half of me thinks I should fucking hate you."
"Yeah, well half of me thinks that about you, too," Sebastian said back, trying not to get lost in those blue-grey depths.
"And the other half?"
Sebastian grinned and moved closer, his lips inches away from Kurt's. "Thinks you look fucking sexy when you're angry. And really likes it when you curse. Then again, that's probably just the lower half of me." The heat in his voice sent a shiver up and down Kurt's spine.
Kurt blushed and stepped back slightly. "You're a…pig," he said, all the anger gone from his voice. He'd been itching to call him a 'fucking prick' but after what Sebastian had just said, there was no way in hell he was going to curse in front of him.
"And what about you, Hummel," Sebastian said, drawing near again. "How does the other half of you feel about me?"
"Confused mostly," Kurt admitted. "I should go, Sebastian."
Sebastian reached up, to where Kurt's hands were still gripping the strap of his bag. He trailed a finger down the back of his hand, down the silver of the bracelet, and hooked his finger under it, rubbing the skin there. "In my experience, what you should do and what you want to do are two very different things."
Kurt looked up into those eyes, staring at him from so close. The lust and confusion he saw simmering in them was so different from the soft worry he often saw shining in Blaine's eyes.
He took a deep breath and decided to say what was on his mind. He'd already been so honest in the past few minutes that he might as well keep going. "What I want is for you to drop the asshole persona. I'm not asking you to tell me all your secrets right now and I'm not asking you to even let me in. If you want to be friends, I can't keep wondering if you're going to use everything I say against me."
"I thought I told you I didn't want to be your friend," Sebastian said a little too quickly, wincing inside when Kurt's eyes flickered. He sighed. "Look, I'm sorry…I shouldn't have said those things to you. You just...fuck, Hummel, what do you want from me?"
Kurt's other hand moved down the strap, covering the hand Sebastian still had over his present. "Just...don't shut me out. Don't put up whatever wall you've built to keep everyone else out. I'm not like everyone else, and I want to get to know you. Despite my better judgment, I like you, Sebastian."
Sebastian smiled, a rare real smile, and the look in his eyes matched the same look he had last night, when he'd stroked Kurt's cheek before saying goodnight. "Thank you for the gift," Sebastian said. "I'll wear it tomorrow. And, I'll drop the attitude, as much as I can. You have to be patient with me."
Kurt smiled, "I can do that." Without thinking, he reached up and pressed his lips to Sebastian's cheek, in the exact same spot as last night. "I've got homework. Wanna walk up with me?"
"Let's head to the library," Sebastian said. "It should be dead right now and I've missed practice anyway. You can do homework and I can avoid doing my own."
Kurt nodded, both boys breaking the hold and putting a polite amount of distance between themselves. Sebastian picked up the bag he had dropped some time during the fight and both boys walked out of the hall, back towards the library. Neither boy saw Blaine, standing in a corner, clenching his fists in anger.
-x-