A/N: Hello Everyone! With all the wonderful reviews I got for the last chapter, I know that I've been very inconsiderate because it took me forever to write this installment of the story. I just had a really hard time thinking of what and how to write this one. I don't know if it turned out well as I may have liked, but I did my best, that's why it took so damn long to finish. I also hope I did better with my grammar this time. I didn't think I'd end this chapter this way (which you'll all be finding out later). I hope it's not too abrupt or early in the story. Either way, I'd love to know what you guys think, so don't forget to leave your reviews!
Special thanks to NoshMono! Thank you for all those wonderful tips and ideas. You really got me thinking hard and long for this one and I think it helped me a lot.
Alright, enough rambling and on with the story!
Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin and its characters are Watsuki-sama's and Sony's and not mine. Every Little Thing is a beautiful song by Dishwalla, and I'm just borrowing it for the inspiration and title of this fan fiction.
Chapter 4
Every Little Thing
People milled around the club to the usual rhythm some alcohol and music kneaded on them. They were seemingly oblivious to the couple's uncertain wave of emotions as they tore their way through.
Kenshin held Kaoru's wrist firmly as he pulled her out of the club. Things just got a little more complicated than he had expected thanks to his temper. And speaking of temper, he knew really well that his wife has one to match his own. They were going to have a very... let's say, fascinating conversation-slash-confrontation tonight.
And that didn't make him near happy.
He caught sight of a small glass filled with alcohol. It was as if it was the only tangible thing around and nothing else at that moment. It was just what he needed to ease the kinks in his muscles and maybe clear his head up too.
He didn't mind whatever it was as he pulled it from the unwitting man's grip roughly and downed the all the liquid in one swift movement. He put the glass albeit a little too harshly on the table and continued walking out of the bar, not even giving the man a chance to protest or demand for a new drink. The liquid burned through his throat and his insides. It must have been some expensive rum.
He didn't really care.
All the noise, all the people were drowned out by one thing: the need to straighten things out with her. But how could he do that now when she clearly didn't even recognize who he was.
How could he tell her that they're married and that he was filing for divorce? Why did things suddenly get so tough for him? Was it just this morning when he was so sure of what he wanted? Why was he weighing his options again? What prompted him to rethink his decision?
Oh, the answer to that was easy --- her eyes.
He didn't like to see confusion dancing in her beautiful eyes. It didn't suit her. Those beautiful eyes that held her fiery spirit and untamed passion deserved to flicker with happiness and not uncertainty as he had seen when their gazes locked.
She was so beautiful, just like the first time he saw her at the coffee shop. And though they've been apart for quite some time now and he wanted to make that a permanent thing, he can't deny that the mere sight of her still captivated every fiber of his being. He knew that he couldn't bear to see those beautiful eyes have a bemused expression again.
He must be crazy. Yes, really crazy. Just a few hours ago he was more than certain about what he wanted, but seeing her again, learning about her situation, and being as close as he got to her, sent his mind reeling to reconsidering his decisions.
Then a sinking feeling constricted his heart.
He couldn't tell her anything about them, at least not yet.
He felt her try to pry her wrist from his grip. But with a fervent prayer, he tightened his hold around it unknowingly hoping that she'll feel a promise he couldn't bring himself to concede to at that moment…
That's right, he'll never let go of her again.
Kaoru twisted her wrist from the man's grip. She was pulling her arm away from him like a butterfly struggling to break free from its captor's net. But her futile attempts only tightened the man's hold on her arm. Her high-heeled sandals, which she was now convinced, are punishing her to no end, only added to the unnerving situation she was in.
Though she wanted to get away from him A.S.A.P., she couldn't deny the curiosity she's been feeling when her eyes met his. It was… something distantly familiar. She didn't know what exactly, but she intended to get to the bottom of the whole racket she's been suddenly a part of.
Why did this man come out of nowhere and beat the hell out of her dance partner? Not that she was a tad concerned with the blonde, but it was as if the man was so mad about something she was supposed to know about.
Could he be someone she knew from her past?
She tried to make out what the man looked like even if his back was what she could see. She might have seen him in one of the photos Megumi showed her before and all she had to do was try to remember if she really did. She could tell from the silhouette the club's lights would allow her to see, that he had his hair in a ponytail and he wasn't really that tall nor muscularly built. Even with his back to her and only their arms linked by his hand on her wrist, she could feel something familiar about him, but couldn't make herself name it.
But whether she knew him or not, he still had no right to come in to a club and just beat a guy up and pull her away and out of the club. She would definitely give this mystery guy a piece of her mind.
She yanked her arm forcefully from the man's grip, but the man's fingers around her wrist didn't even budge. So, instead of pulling her hand more away from him, she tried to catch up with the man's strides. When she was right behind him, she placed her hand on his back, determined to push him away while pulling her other hand away from him.
They reached the parking lot, and she was still prying her wrist from him as she mumbled profanities in different languages. The man stopped and chose that moment to let go of her. It caught Kaoru off guard and just suddenly found herself sitting flat on the ground.
The man was surprised at what happened and tried to come near her and help her up but Kaoru slapped his hands away.
"You. Stay right there and don't ever think of even coming close." She glared at him and pushed herself from the ground as Kenshin backed away slightly, obviously surprised at her reaction.
Kaoru got up and smoothed her hands down on her spaghetti strapped top. God, if she really wanted to humiliate herself she knew she couldn't have a done a better job. Now, to give that meddling man a piece of her mind, she glanced up at him. Suddenly, a funny, shivery sensation assailed her. It was both a thrilling yet jumpy feeling and it didn't make her happy.
His eyes. They were most unusual but beautiful violent-amber eyes she has ever seen and it held something she still couldn't name.
No fair. She was mad, she might not be having the perfect time of her life, but he had absolutely no right to suddenly come into the scene, punch her dance partner, and still look amazingly handsome after everything.
The handsome intruder lopsidedly grinned at her and that was when she realized another feather on her humiliation hat. She'd been staring! And as if the fates really wanted to mock her right there and then, the man smugly said, "Like what you see?"
Her eyes widened at the comment. Why, the jerk had spunk! So, with practiced ease of coming up with good retorts, (thanks to Megumi), she eyed the man from head to foot and said, "No. It's actually impulse. You know, study the stranger that ruined your night to find out what parts of his body would be nice to hurt. Badly." She smiled sweetly then, crossed her arms and gave him a satisfied look. Good thing her conversations with her sister always required her to think of snappy comebacks. She finally got that skill put to good use tonight.
Kenshin thought that she looked cute when she's annoyed like that, so he couldn't help not teasing her. But her response wiped off his smug grin. And though he wouldn't admit it, he was a tad hurt by Kaoru's reference to him as a stranger. And so he did the best thing he could think of to hide that hurt.
He grabbed her left arm forcefully and let his amber eyes bore into her own.
"I have every right to come close to you and I am not a damn stranger." He was getting frustrated with all this.
"So, who are you supposed to be? Santa Claus?" She defiantly and mockingly answered as she matched his angry stare.
He wasn't in the mood for her witty lines tonight. "Not even close, Kaoru."
Her eyes widened. "H-how… did you know my name?" She hated stammering while having a verbal skirmish with someone.
"Because I am your husband."
They stared at each other for a longer while and blinked twice at the same time. Kaoru's eyes widened for the nth time as if he admitted that he was actually the tooth fairy and not Santa Claus.
As she realized his seriousness, her eyes returned to their normal sizes and let herself study his features carefully. At least she was married to a handsome man with an intense gaze and obvious violent tendencies---that strangely excited her. There was definitely something about him but she just couldn't damn remember it!
She closed her eyes. If what this man was telling her was true, why didn't Megumi tell her? Why did her sister have to hide an important detail like this about her life? It hurt to know that she couldn't remember the information that the man said and it hurt even more to think that her sister might have lied to her.
How much more about her life has Megumi been hiding from her?
She then focused on the man before her. Smiling sadly, she tore herself away from him, intending to go back to where Misao was and get away from this insanity.
Did he actually blurt that out? Oh brother. Now, he'll definitely have to explain everything to her. Just when he was about to give his I'm-sorry-about-what-happened-to-you-let-me-help-you-get-through-this speech, Kaoru did what he definitely didn't want her to do again to him.
She was leaving, but this time, he wouldn't let her go just like that. He took bigger steps to catch up and took her arm to make her face him.
Kaoru was surprised with his sudden grip. But it was then that she felt the cool metal on his finger pressed on her arm. The ring. She tried to feel her fingers if they had the same thing on, but she found nothing.
She closed her open mouth and let a mocking laugh as she tried to ease her arm out from his grip. She held her hands out. "See? No ring. You're mistaken, Mister. Now, if you'll excuse me, I happen to have good night ahead of me." She turned around simply wanting to be away from him. Fast.
Kenshin shook his head involuntarily. They had to fix this mess and they had to fix it now. So he ran past her and stopped right in front her.
She let out a sigh. "Okay, so how much did Misao or my slip of a sister pay you to do this… this… show to pretend to be my husband?" she had one hand on her hip as the other gestured nervously.
"I'm not playing around, Kaoru. We were married two years ago. And I..."
"Stop it." Her voice was almost like a whisper as she walked away from him and his smoldering gaze.
"Where are you going?"
Kenshin followed her. She tried to ignore him and just continued walking.
"None of your damn business."
"It's every inch my business."
Kaoru stopped and looked at him.
"What do you want?"
"I want us to talk."
"Alright. If you're so much into wanting to talk to me right now, tell me, if you are indeed my husband as you claim you are where were you when the accident happened? Why weren't you there when I woke up? Why are you doing this just now?" She tried hard not to let her tears fall. How dare this man try to play with her memories, with what she already knew? And why did it suddenly feel like everyone played a big joke on her?
He was shocked at how much pain dripped from every word she said.
"This is not the right place or time to talk about everything. Maybe we should---"
"No. You want to talk? Then talk. Tell me everything." Her eyes though with a tinge of sadness, challenged him.
Kaoru's emotions were in turmoil. Not hearing any response from him, she took it as her cue to just go back to where Misao was and tell her that she wanted to go home. She wasn't really ready to hear whatever the man was to say. She didn't want to know anything now. She just wanted to go home.
Kenshin let her go again. So much for realizing that confusion didn't suit her, when he even gave her more pain that moment. He stood there defeated and watched her make her way back to the club as he listened to the staccato of her stilettos getting fainter as her figure became farther from him.
He got into his car still not believing how everything happened so fast. He didn't know what to do or what to think anymore. He revved his engine and with a heavy heart drove home, his thoughts brimming only with getting some alcohol and his beautiful wife.
It was 1:17 AM.
Kaoru Kamiya wrapped her slender fingers around the spring breeze-chilled metal knob of the Sagara's oak door. She would have been home earlier if not for Misao's never ending persuasion tactics for her to stay longer in the club. She just couldn't. And she didn't want to tell her why. So, she just settled for the lame excuse that she had enough alcohol and loud music and the whole place was already giving her a headache.
Misao didn't believe her of course. But maybe seeing how she wasn't enjoying the night anymore, miraculously agreed, and even offered to drive her home. She declined the offer, not wanting Misao to get a chance to pry over the real reason why she wanted to go home. So, she took a taxi, and looked out its window and the neon signs they went passed at the whole trip. Her thoughts drifted to random things she didn't want to think about.
She was tired.
She had been spending months after her accident in the dark. She thought she was actually gearing herself to the right path to regain her memories, but this night proved her assumption wrong.
Kaoru yanked the door open and the familiar atmosphere of home greeted her. She just didn't know if she still welcomed the idea of considering the Sagara's as her only family. She gave out a sigh as she gently closed the door and waited a moment as her eyes adjusted to the dim lighting of the living room. She quietly strode across the room to the simple staircase and headed up to her room on the second floor.
When she got just in front of her room, the adjacent room caught her eye. She knew that Megumi and Sanosuke were now asleep, but she wanted answers, no, needed answers tonight. She slowly paced from her room's door to her sister's, but stopped in mid-step. What was she supposed to tell or ask them? Wasn't she over reacting about the whole issue? She wasn't even sure if that guy was telling her the truth.
With those thoughts in her mind, she let out the breath she held and dejectedly went inside her room. She turned on the lights, took her offending shoes off, and sat on the cushioned chair in front of her vanity. She stared at herself for long moments with no coherent thought in mind.
She was married. She was single. She was fooled. She was being lied to. She was told the truth. She was pathetic. She didn't know anything. She didn't know what to think anymore.
Kaoru placed her hands on her beautiful face as she closed her eyes. She was hurting about everything. Someone was lying to her. She didn't want to think it was her sister, but the stranger's face and eyes spoke the elusive truth to her.
She was married. They were married. She was his wife. He was her husband.
Kaoru chose that moment to leave her vanity to lie on her bed, hoping to get the comfort she sought from this entire ordeal. She closed her eyes again. She was hurting, but she didn't know why.
Did Megumi really lie to her? Why didn't her "husband" show up after the accident? Why couldn't she remember a damn thing? Months had passed since her accident, but there wasn't any clear memory that came to her that she could hold on to.
It was frustrating.
She didn't know if these were really the things that hurt her or the mere fact that she couldn't even remember an important even in her life like getting married.
She tried thinking of the stranger's face.
She suddenly felt her cheeks becoming wet. She curled on to her side. She lost her memories, yes. But she knew in her heart that she would only marry the man she loves.
More tears left Kaoru's eyes. She was trying to remember, but she couldn't. She didn't know anything about her own husband, their wedding, their love story.
It was already 1:33 AM.
Kaoru Kamiya just wrapped her arms around herself and cried for lost time, forgotten moments, and her unknown love.
It was a chilly spring morning.
Kenshin suddenly woke up with a start. He just dreamed about her wrapped in his arms and responding to his kisses. He laid on his left side and groaned. There were these tiny ice picks poking his head over and over.
When he got home after that short time with Kaoru, all he did was fill his glass with expensive brandy until he finished the whole bottle up. He somehow got himself up to their room in his state of drunkenness and now he found himself staring at the empty space beside him.
He stretched his arms out to touch her pillow on her side of the bed. He sealed and unsealed his violet eyes and looked at her pillow. He then wished pillows could engrave the smile of their owners forever. His eyes softened. After five months, this was the first time that he probably would be honest with himself.
He misses her so much and it hurts so bad.
He hugged the pillow tightly trying to get hold of her scent. It faintly smelled like jasmines, like Kaoru.
Knowing that staying in that position won't make the pillow magically transform into his wife, he gently released it and got up from their bed, letting his feet meet the soft carpet beneath. He took the shirt lying on the edge and slid into it. He picked his elastic hair tie from the lamp table beside their bed and sloppily bunched his hair into a ponytail.
He made his way to their mini bar and popped a bottle of Scotch open. He poured himself a glass full of it and swallowed it in one swift movement. He never liked the drink but as long as it's still something alcoholic, he'll gladly down another glass of it.
Ignoring the sting that made him slightly twitch, he poured himself another glass. He sat down on one of the stools around their mini bar. He was sliding his forefinger over the rim and looked at its contents with concentration no one could ever match.
He chuckled softly and shook his head. He lifted the glass to his eyes' level and looked at his reflection. He smiled mockingly at it.
He was a fool. Hiko was right, he was a fool. A real idiot.
He just wanted to get that divorce because, as he convinced himself everyday, he didn't love her anymore. He didn't want to come home to someone and fight with her over unimportant things. He wanted to be free of the guilt he felt when the realization that he couldn't make her happy dawned on him.
But his idiocy got the better of him indeed. How could they be happy in making their separation a formal thing? He was clearly just thinking of just himself then. He thought that getting that divorce could really lead him to forget her completely.
He was wrong, so wrong.
It was no use recognizing the illusion he made inside his heart. There was no sense in keeping the walls he built around his emotions up.
He placed the glass on the counter as his vision started to get blurry. With a filled glass of Scotch and an empty heart, he laid his head on his arm that was draped across the counter and did what he deprived himself from doing on the night she left him and the entire time that they were apart.
He let bottled emotions out and cried.
There you go.. I initially planned Kenshin's realization scene to come later in the story, but, I was suddenly in the mood for something sad to happen. Anyway, I'd love to know what you think. And if you have any suggestions for the next chapter, please do fill me in. Please Review!.