4

Eiji could still feel Ash's arms around him, although they had been together for ten minutes now. He still felt Ash squeezing his ribs so hard that he thought he was going to collapse. He could still feel Ash's face pressed against his and his fingers pressed against Ash's back.

His heart was racing, he could feel it in his temples and the tips of his fingers, but his heart had hardly stopped racing for the last two days. He was growing used to it.

Ash pressed himself against, the wall, his shoulders flush against it as he glanced around the corner. Eiji could only see the glint of green in his ear as he followed suit, his chest aching from breathing so heavily.

"This isn't the time to ask," Ash's words came in short bursts. He was holding a gun and honestly, it looked like he was complete. It was as though there was a puzzle piece missing all this time and it was finally where it should go. "But what did he do to you?"

The corridor must have been clear, because Ash looked back at Eiji. His face was neutral, but there was a tautness around his eyebrows and mouth. He looked scared.

"Not –" Eiji took a breath, he closed his eyes, but he still saw that room when he did. He hated it – he had nowhere near as much to complain about as Ash. "That first night – you arrived before – and the second – I was where you found me. I was too -" the words still rung in his ears, making his skin prickle. He worked his mouth, as though he was trying to figure out how best to form the words.

Ash just nodded, like he'd heard it before.

"Okay," he said. "Come on."

He was down the corridor in the time it took for Eiji to blink. He followed, even though his limbs felt like jelly. He felt incredibly vulnerable, his hands acutely empty of a gun. Everyone else here was armed. Everyone else here could kill him. He was completely defenceless, save for Ash.

Strangely, it was a comfort. Seeing Ash's finger resting on the trigger like a tiger ready to pounce made him feel safe. He would get out of this alive.

"I'm sorry," he found himself saying, glancing over his shoulder every other second. "I was lucky."

"What are you on about?" Ash didn't glance back at him.

"Nothing happened."

"And you - you feel sorry about that?"

"No - I'm - it's not that - I just - it's unfair that you - and I didn't."

"I was here for more than two days," a shot cracked through the air like a whip. A man standing a little way down the corridor, facing away from them, crumpled to the floor. "I would have to have a very lucky seven years. Luck doesn't seem to be something I have."

Eiji smiled, focusing on the green in Ash's ear and not the smell of blood that was filling the corridor, threatening to suffocate him. He focused on the green instead of the man's body they were approaching.

"I'll be your good luck charm," he said, slightly amazed that the words fell from his mouth.

Ash turned, his eyes narrowed for a moment. Eiji froze. He could hear footsteps. There was someone behind him. He went to turn, but Ash was stepping forward, slipping an arm around him so he was pressed against Ash's body.

"My good luck charm, then," Ash murmured, his other hand reaching out with the gun. Another crack. Eiji wondered when he had stopped jumping at the sound of a gun shot. He wondered Ash wrapping an arm around him made his heart race more than being in a gun fight.

The moment was over, Ash turned and headed back down the corridor, his hand tapping against Eiji's as a sign to follow. He stepped over the body, feeling the dead man's eyes following him. He didn't look. His back itched – begging him to look behind him, but he clenched his fists and kept walking.

There was something heavy in the air between them, something other than the light smoking from the pistol.

There was Shorter's death.

"Are you doing okay?" Eiji asked.

"No."

"Yeah, I'm about there too," Eiji lowered his voice as they came to another turn. The whole house was like a maze.

"I told you, there's no time for chit chat in a gun fight," Ash hissed, turning back to him. But there was a smile at the edge of his mouth.

"But I don't have a gun. I'm just a damsel in distress."

"Are you in distress?"

"Not now, no," Eiji said. He was still whispering, but there was obviously no one around the corner. Ash wouldn't have stopped and turned back if there had been. So what were they waiting for?

Ash stepped forward, his suit jacket nudging against Eiji. He looked like James Bond. Better than James Bond, actually. The kind of image that girls would swoon over. And Eiji was sure he was swooning.

His stomach swooped up and down as Ash placed a hand on his shoulder, his face close to Eiji's. There wasn't time for chit-chat but there was time for this – whatever this was?

He thought Ash was going to kiss him and he wasn't quite prepared for that.

But then Ash breathed out and simply pressed his forehead against Eiji's for a long moment. It wasn't unpleasant – Eiji had the urge to cup Ash's cheek – to bury his fingers in Ash's hair.

"I'm sorry," Ash whispered, and the moment passed. He was turning the corner, his hand around Eiji's wrist to make sure they kept close to each other. Eiji wasn't sure what he was sorry for – that Eiji was kidnapped, that Shorter was dead or that he didn't kiss him.

It occurred to him how completely absurd it was to be thinking of kissing a guy when they were literally in a gunfight.

But thinking of anything else was so much worse.

Eiji had been delegated to the back, middle seat, because he was the smallest. That wasn't strictly true, the guy with the plaits and unusually large canines – Bones – was shorter than him. He knew it was just an excuse to keep him nestled in the middle of them. To make sure he wasn't going to leap out or do anything else stupid. Which was annoying, because he was very tempted to do something very stupid. What else could he do when he wasn't with Ash?

His leg was jiggling up and down and he couldn't stop it. He was scared that if it raised his hands they'd be shaking. Maybe it was aftershock or maybe it was because he didn't know if Ash had made it out okay or not.

"The boss'll be fine," Bones said next to him, but he wasn't looking at Eiji. He was peering out the open window. The wind was buffeting Eiji's hair into a cloud around his face. "It's the boss, isn't it?"

"I know," Eiji clenched his fists, watching the lights of the city grow closer. "Do you know why he wanted that car?"

"No clue," Bones shrugged. "Boss doesn't talk about Golzine that much. Maybe it was important to him?"

"Maybe."

"Will you talk about it?" Bones turned a little, his eyes sparkling like the streetlights outside. "What happened to you?"

"I was mainly shuffled from room to room," Eiji said. He opened his mouth to explain about Shorter, then shut it again. He couldn't even begin. He just clenched his jaw and shrugged.

Bones didn't look like he believed him.

"You don't have a gun," he said. "How comes?"

"Ash had one. I stuck with him."

"You couldn't find one?"

Eiji hesitated. He didn't want to say the truth. It would make Ash seem weak – or, weird – and Eiji really wanted to keep it a secret. Just between the two of them. He was like that when it came to Ash – he liked to store away little moments between them in his brain to look back on like a scrapbook.

"No."

"Not on a body or something?"

"They crept me out too much," Eiji lied. He had seen so many dead people in the last two weeks that he felt numb to it.

"That's fair. Who are you, anyway? How do you know boss?"

"I'm Eiji Okumura. I came over to help interview Ash. We ended up caught up in all this mess."

"Oh yeah, I remember seeing your mug. So how comes boss cares so much about you? Didn't take any of us to L.A, did he?"

"Bones. That's enough." The guy on Eiji's other side said. Kong.

Bones pouted like a child, then turned back to the window. Eiji was sure he was meant to feel relieved at the silence, but he would rather be talking about something. Left to his own thoughts he felt as though he was frying.

He wouldn't be able to answer, anyway. He didn't know why Ash cared so much about him – he wasn't even too sure Ash cared about him full stop. He would have done what he had done for anyone in his gang, Eiji was sure.

Would he have killed Shorter for anyone?

It was logical. That was the conclusion Eiji had come to when he was sat in that room, feeling like he'd taken a thousand blows. Shorter would never recover.

But Shorter had still been his best friend. And Griffin had been getting marginally better, Eiji was sure.

Why him?

If it was true, if Ash did care for him more than the teasing fake-boyfriend banter –

Eiji couldn't finish the thought. Then – what? Ash cared a lot about him. Ash might even like him – in the way Eiji was skirting around admitting to himself because he was scared that would be false hope. Someone like Ash Lynx would never like someone like him.

But maybe he did.

Eiji was attracted to Ash – he was attracted to those smirks and those laughs and the feeling of being held by him.

He didn't know if he was gay, but he supposed it was too late to give the question much thought. He fancied a guy. If that made him gay, then he was.

What was he thinking? Of course it made him gay. That's what being gay was. It was liking guys.

Eiji leant his head back and closed his eyes. He was thinking too much. Those kind of thoughts were exactly what he had been avoiding for the last two weeks.

Besides, he was meant to be going back to Japan. He wasn't sure what was happening about that.

He wasn't sure he wanted to go anymore.

Staying in America was terrifying – by far the two most terrifying weeks of his life – but Ash was here. He felt drawn to stay there, right by Ash's side. It had felt right, in that mansion, being right beside him.

"Hey! You asleep?" Bones' voice was right in his ear.

"Leave off, he's had a hard day."

"I'm fine," Eiji opened his eyes. "Just – I feel a little funny."

"It's all new to you," Kong patted his shoulder. "I felt funny too, the first time I did something like this."

Eiji nodded. He leant back again, staring up at the ceiling, and was mercifully left alone for the remainder of the ride.

Well, alone with his thoughts.

"Eiji, come here."

Ash had just woken up, and the room was still full of gang members winding down. Eiji hadn't even slept yet, but he still felt too wired up. It was like he'd downed five coffees. His body was exhausted but his mind was still wide awake.

He nodded, slipping into Ash's room. He could hear the whispers of the gang members behind him, watching him with something akin to awe. He was the one who had managed to wake Ash up and he was still in one piece.

As soon as he was in the bedroom, he was pressed against Ash. He stumbled back against the door, his head buried in Ash's shoulder and his arms were around him. Eiji was barely supporting his own weight.

"You're okay," Ash whispered into his ear.

"You're okay." Eiji replied.

Ash's face was pressed into his neck so hard that it almost hurt.

"Did you sleep okay?" Eiji was solely balanced on the tip of one foot.

Ash just nodded into him. "Blacked out."

He pulled away, his hands still weighing down Eiji's shoulders.

"Have you slept yet?" Ash asked.

Eiji shook his head. "I needed to wake you up, didn't I?"

Ash shrugged. "You could have let me sleep."

"You know everyone else was too scared to wake you up?" his hands were on Ash's, they were rocking back and forth slightly. Almost like they were dancing.

"I have no idea why."

Eiji laughed, but it sounded shaky. He felt like his brain had slammed into his body. All of a sudden, he felt like he'd been hit by a freight train. Ash was okay. He had done it. Him and Ash had escaped safely and Ash was fine.

"Eiji, you need to sleep," Ash's voice was soft. He pressed his forehead to Eiji's. "Do they not sleep in Japan?"

He was trying to make Eiji laugh. He managed a smile, but it felt like a colossal effort to move his mouth and he was dimly aware of Ash's finger under his chin, forcing him to look up at him. He was smiling too.

"Come on," Ash's arm was around his shoulders, pulling him over to the camp bed in the corner. "You're ready to collapse."

"I'm fine," Eiji fell onto the camp bed.

"Uh-huh," Ash was pushing him down, but there was still a fond smile on his face.

"I don't want to sleep." He searched for Ash's hand with half-lidded eyes, cradling it between his hands like it was something previous. A little, live bird. He did want to sleep. Every part of him wanted to sleep. But he was scared about what he might see. He couldn't face those nightmares.

"I don't care."

"Will you stay?" Eiji swallowed. "With me? Until-"

He thought he saw Ash swallow heavily.

"Sure."

He kept hold of Ash's hand, just in case he changed his mind, and fell onto the pillows. He was still fully clothed and hadn't bothered to pull the sheets over him, but that didn't matter. At the moment, he could barely keep his eyes open.

Ash's hand twitched in his, like he was waiting to leave. He heard him sigh, but it didn't sound like an angry, impatient sigh. It sounded sad.

Eiji felt a pang in his chest. He didn't want Ash to be sad anymore. He wanted to do something about that.

He was finding it hard to think straight. Sleep was curling its claws around him, dragging him into his dreams. He hadn't thought he would ever be able to sleep again, but now he couldn't stop it.

Just for a minutes then. His nightmares couldn't get awful if he just closed his eyes for a few minutes.

A few more.

He was practically gone when he felt Ash's hand slip from his slowly. When he felt Ash's lips brush his forehead.

When he heard Ash whisper "sleep well, sweetie."