Chapter three: A Visit

Disclaimer: I do not own Monster Musume no Iru Nichijou

Kazuma sat on his couch in front of the television wearing notbing but his boxers, a bottle of Irish whiskey in his right hand, his prosthetic left hand clenching and unclenching as he attempted to calm himself down. He reread the headline over and over and over again, the very name mentioned bringing pure rage to his heart: Vasile Tepes Not Guilty

'Today members of the jury have released Vasile Tepes, a prominent member of the Tepes family and CEO of Tepes Industries, with a verdict of not guilty. Vasile had been charged with 18 counts of drug trafficking, 22 counts of human trafficking, 11 counts of illegal immigration of Extra-Species, 34 counts of arms dealing, 4 counts of arson, 14 counts of attempted murder, and one count of murder. Vasile was unavailable for a comment on his freedom but-'

Kazuma threw the whiskey across the room, the shattering of green-stained glass creating a sprinkling shower that littered the floor next to the television, alcohol staining the wall.

The former lawyer stood up from his grey linen couch, his body shaking in fury as he began to walk around, taking several deep breaths all in an attempt to calm himself down, to prevent him from losing his temper or punching something. He wanted to shout, he wanted to scream, and he wanted to punch everyone on the jury. How in the hell could those corrupt morons let that bastard free?!

After a few minutes of meaningless waking around and his anger not abiding, Kazuma could not retain his wrath any longer and punched the nearest thing as hard as he could. Which, in this case, happened to be the wall that seperated the kitchen from the living room. He pulled his hand out of the hole, his knuckles scraped badly and bleeding just as bad, but his anger had subsided somewhat.

Somewhat.

"MOTHERFUCKER!" He screamed at the top of his lungs, collapsing to the linoleum floor with his back against the wall, hopelessness filling his very being. The man who ruined so many lives got away scot free. Again.

"My, such violence for a pacifistic lawyer." Came a sarcastic and snide comment from a familiar voice in the kitchen behind him.

Kazuma pulled himself from the floor, walking into his kitchen where he wasn't surprised to see Agent Smith sitting in a chair, having already helped herself to some coffee.

"How long have you been there?" He asked, somewhat nervous now that a government agent had just witnessed his outburst.

"Long enough." Smith answered cooly, finishing the rest of her coffee and peering over his shoulder, looking at his flat screen, the report on Vasile's trial still going on. "I take it you disagree with the verdict?"

Kazuma snorted. "That's putting it lightly."

"Old history?" Smith asked, lowering her sunglasses and peering at him.

"It's a long story." Kazuma answered, walking to the fridge and pulling the door open, grabbing a can of tomato juice.

"Oh?" He had piqued her interest. "Care to enlighten me?"

"No." He popped the tab open and took a sip. "Why are you here?"

"So rude!" Smith cried, feigning to be hurt. "Can't you be glad that I'm here?"

Kazuma crossed his arms and turned his gaze to her. "You want breakfast, don't you?"

Smith waved her coffee mug. "And more coffee please."

Kazuma walked over and took the mug from Agent Smith's hand and stomped over to the coffee pot, filled the cup to the brim, and returned the cup to the government agent's hand.

"So," Kazuma began as he pulled a seat and sat in front of Agent Smith, staring into her brown eyes, "You undoubtedly came here for a reason, because for an agent of the government to drive all the way to my warehouse in the middle of dense forest, they better have a reason. Right?"

"My, you're awfully perceptive." Smith teased, a smile spreading across her lips.

"I was a lawyer." Kazuma replied. "It came with the job description." He crossed his arms over his bare chest. "Why are you here?"

Smith crossed her arms too, though it wasn't as menacing since she wrapped them under her bust, which, naturally, drew Kazuma's attention "I decided to pay you a visit, see how you two are getting along."

"Uh huh." The lawyer hummed, still staring. "Could you, I don't know, uncross your arms? It's just a little distracting."

"Why?" Smith asked with a smirk. "See anything interesting? "

"I will neither deny nor confirm that until you talk to my lawyer."

"But you're a lawyer."

Kazuma opened his mouth to speak before scowling when he realized her point. "Touché..."

Smith chuckled and adjusted her sunglasses. "Now, onto business."

"Fine by me."

"As your coordinator, it is my job to make sure the host and their guest are getting along." Smith took another sip of her coffee. "On that note, how are things between you and Miia?"

Kazuma breathed in deeply, his thoughts of the past eight weeks he had spent around the Lamia. "It's going better than expected."

"Oh? And what do you mean by that?"

"Before all this, before her, I preferred being alone. Convinced myself I'm better off that way." Kazuma smiled a bit. "But Miia? She's definitely different. She doesn't look at me and see a helpless amputee, so I guess you could say it's been an enlightening experience."

Smith leaned over the table and gave him a look that would have been a little unnerving if he hadn't gotten used to death stares from old rivals. So, naturally, he met her gaze with a cocky grin.

""Enlightening" can mean many things, you know?"

And, there goes a nice conversation!

"What? What the hell are you on about?"

"Is it not so obvious?" The government agent smirked as she sat back down, much to Kazuma's ire.

The lawyer stood from his seat, walking over to the cupboard to grab something to eat, all the ehile waiting for the government agent to stop speaking in riddles. Smith, unable to pass up the opportunity to at least see something interesting, leaned to the right in her chair to get view of the cupboard.

What she saw was a tad bit surprising.

Scars lined his back, a terrible collage of scar tissue that varied from wound to wound. He had several circular scars of gunshot wounds scattered like landmines, twice as many cuts and slices dotting the board, and more burns than the rest.

'He should be dead.' Smith thought, going back to sitting in the chair normally so that he didn't know she saw anything. He walked back to his seat, three cans of Pringles in his arms, the amputee taking his seat.

"Now, what were you saying?" He questioned, opening a can and taking a big handful of crisps. "Something about "enlightening?""

"Has Miia made any advances on you? As I'm sure you know now, Lamias tend to be a passionate type."

"Ha! Passionate's not the word for it."

"As a representative of her species, losing her virginity to a human would be a diplomatic issue."

"Yeah. I read the law."

"So." Smith sipped her coffee. "Did you fuck her yet?"

Kazuma looked at her in complete disbelief. "No. I didn't."

It was Smith's turn to be astonished. "Really? Haven't even thought about it? Sure, she's half snake but she's got a nice figure."

"I was a lawyer. Virginity came in the job description. "

The government agent sat in silence for a few seconds. "Yeah, I'm not surprised." She removed her glasses and got in the former lawyer's personal space, a seductive and sexy look on her face. "You seem to be near impossible to seduce..."

Kazuma smiled and took the same seductive look Smith had, getting closer to her than she had to him, their noses almost touching."You're playing a dangerous game here, Miss Smith. Flirting happens to be a double-edged sword, in case you didn't know."

A flustered Smith with a face as red as a beet backed away from him, accusingly murmuring: "Y-You are not the same person you're file suggests you are."

"Hmmm." Kazuma hummed. "You're awfully perceptive."

He shrugged, going back to eating crisps and acting like nothing ever happened. "Don't worry. I'm not like this all the time; I'm just off my meds until the refill gets here."

Smith cleared throat, attempting to regain her composure. "I have one more thing to go over before I have to attend to another exchange family."

"Ask away."

Agent Smith sipped her coffee for the third time. "How have you been integrating Miia into human society?"

Kazuma sweatdropped. "Pardon?"

She facepalmed. "Please tell me that you haven't been sitting for the past eight weeks doing absolutely nothing but watch TV and eat?"

"Umm. Nooooooooo?"