A/N: Another "long" one. I actually enjoy doing the longer ones over the smaller 600 word ones.

So, just fair warning. This is from Shepard's perspective. BTW, I love EDI, so she'll be appearing more and more. She's not so consoling as just an observing presence that makes their "relationship" less dark and mysterious. A cold, strict undertone to what could be just drama drama drama.

Well, on with the show, and enjoy the food.

Those damn fish seem to make Shepard more and more anxious. He still remembers them dying every other week when he'd forget to feed them. Watching those dead bodies float on the top of the tank while some club music was playing in the background, it never felt right or comfortable, and that is exactly what he's feeling now.

He loves Garrus. Far more that he would have initially let on to him. He had tried to show his interests early on, but the option just never seemed to appear in his thoughts. He got over the idea of being with a friend, being with a crewmember, getting together with someone during a mission. He got it on with Liara once, and both of them enjoyed it, but he still went for that Turian who always stood by the Mako tinkering with this modification and that turret. At a certain point, Shepard just felt selfish; he had more thoughts on Garrus than the consequences of some of his choices. And for a short while (a couple hours before Ilos) he distracted himself from it all with Liara. Did he feel guilty for using a friend like that, someone he also loved in another way? Of course. And he got over that.

But never him.

Everything was perfect now, but everything just felt off. Like when you sit in a chair with part of its front feet being a few centimeters shorter than the back ones, and that sense of precariousness surrounds all your thoughts. Well here was Shepard, in some formal wear waiting for his date – his dinner guest as he addressed before EDI – with some more turian-human friendly food and drink. Conversation would be kept light, with a lot of bull and mostly horns, but all fun between brothers in arms.

But this was all to convince Shepard that they were only friends, yet he felt nervous still. Maybe there was more to this dinner than Shepard planned. An ambush set up by himself, and with no exit strategy. It was easier for Shepard to view things as missions; it set objectives and allowed detachment from certain emotional entanglements. So here was the commander, going into an unplanned set up that he arranged. The weapons charged (food and table set) the scene visible (light music and atmosphere being quaint) but the enemy was yet to arrive.

"A few minutes to prepare. What else do I have to do? EDI."

"Yes?" She must have been watching because she didn't 'ping' on, but Shepard tossed it off.

"What time is it?"

"21:23 standard time, Shepard. Is everything in accord?"

Shepard interpreted 'in accord' as though it was a will for someone's death. Shepard was familiar with death, and even dying – especially dying. It still caught him off guard. After a while, he asked again for the time. EDI repeated herself and asked if Shepard would require the seconds as well. It sounded like she was mocking him, but no. Shepard was just nervous, and on edge.

Adrenaline flowed and this part of the mission was the calm before the storm. Or maybe the eye?

"Just relax, he'll enjoy the food." EDI was too smart in Shepard's mind, but also knew exactly what to say and when to say it. As did Shepard as Garrus walked through…

"Early?" His smile made the word inviting, and Garrus did his impression of a smile too.

"Court marshals happen when you miss dinner with the superiors. Yes, I'm here early." Garrus felt his words were an excuse more than an acceptance for an invitation. He cleared his voice and eyed the food.

Both moved to the table in the lounge area across from the wardrobe and aside from Shep's bed. It was only a little distracting, but since last night (an elephant in the room for both men) they felt was familiar enough not to deter away from each other.

"So," began Garrus, very casually. "Let's get this started."

"Our food is something like beef." Shepard explained. "Cows make beef. Or, they are actually beef, but not only is it fucking expensive to buy imported beef, but I felt rude for eating something like that in front of you."

"How sweet." Garrus mocked caringly.

"SO, I ordered something species friendly for the two of us." Those last words were said a little more consciously than the others.

Garrus responded to that saying, "Was this planned ahead?"

"I asked you this morning."

"Yeah, you did." Garrus was a little more than irritated at how he was invited.

"I was a bit rough with you, but I'll be more gentile with you later tonight." A red flag was thrown in Garrus' head, but then he saw that coy smile that Shep so often threw with a wink after. Anticipation hung as Garrus turned his head and gazed sideways at his commander in anticipation for a complete response. Maybe he meant it. Maybe it was a joke. Maybe he knew about what I was thinking? These all ran threw Garrus' mind up to the point of eruption. Though it was only a couple seconds, it was a full millennia for Garrus until Shepard finished his statement with a wink and a quick jab to Garrus' chest.

Hearty laughs followed both of them into their meal.

Shepard declared a mission success before the third refill of the wine – the same wine Garrus earlier in the week denied. This felt like a fitting end to an already long established relationship. Everything was fine and nothing could make the scene better. So it only became worse.

"I need you to know something, Garrus. And I want you to listen. This is something I need to explain to you." Shepard always went with his gut feeling when it came to the more dangerous parts of the operations he preformed on the field. He continued steady but heart beating adrenaline through his veins. "I want something that I don't believe you can gain, only earn. And even then, you need someone who believe they've earned the same thing and desires earning something as well."

"What?" Now he was repeating words to compensate for his mini train wreck that is exiting his mouth. "Shepard, what are you telling me?"

Now they both had something on their mind, and both had they exact desire to earn each other. If only they believed each other.

"It's about the mission." Shepard spat out impatiently. "We've earned this little break, and as brothers in arms…" Garrus was slowly feeling more and more relieved while his friend felt less stable by each word passing through his mouth. By the end of the speech Garrus was sitting upright and ecstatic while Shepard, slumped over, had to force is gapping mouth close to keep himself from sinking further down.

"Commander, I assure you, I'm not going to let you down. As a 'brother in arms' I won't let the mission down."

They stood, shook hands and as soon as the door closed, Shepard fell onto his bed and layed there defeated in battle. Even EDI had nothing to say as she disappeared with the music, the ambience, and the smells of a finished dinner. Commander Shepard knew of death very well, and what dying felt like…but it was never any better than before, and it always strangled the life out of him.

A/N: I think I rushed the end, but I felt the emotionally drained Shep was basically passing out once more (his poor brain cells) so I just went with a "quick" end.

Here's a friendly PSA to remind you to review, comment, fav, and spread the love.