Hey guys! So, long time no update? I think so...I think so. I'll just get straight to it and say my thanks for everyone who review/subscribed to this story and to please, enjoy the fourth chapter of "Arms Of An Angel"...
A Special Thanks To My Beta Reader-SomeoneNamedLiz
ARMS OF AN ANGEL-CHAPTER 4
A strong girl keeps her stuff in line and with tears running, she still manages to spit the simple words "I'm fine".
1 WEEK LATER
CLARE'S PERSPECTIVE
"I think that we should get you a therapist Clare," my mother told me and I smiled, "Why? Is it because I'm crazy and the cancer's finally getting to my brain? Wouldn't you be happy to hear that! You can't wait until the day I'm lying in a casket!"
"I was suggesting that you see one so then you would be able to have someone to talk to besides me. You never talk to me anyway so that's why I think you should be able to talk to someone for help," she whispered, tears starting to form in her eyelids.
I sighed and licked my dry lips, "I don't need a therapist...I have Eli."
"Honey, one person isn't enough..you need someone that'll always be there for you and who can medically understand your condition," she noted, thinking that she's 'Mrs. Hotshot' and knows all about what I'm going through.
"I only need Eli," I whispered and said, "Speaking of Eli...he's meeting me at The Dot in ten minutes, so can we please put this behind us and not talk about it ever again?"
As I grabbed my coat, quickly throwing it on and not remembering the throbbing pain in my chest, I hissed in response to my careless movements as my mother quickly ran to my side, asking, "Are you okay honey?"
No.
"I'm fine," I hissed and then pulled out of her grip, "I'll call you when I'm on my way home. Eli wants to come to Chemo with me today," I whispered.
My mom took a good look at me, shaking her head slightly and then said in defeat, "A-alright, I have Eli's number on the fridge but please, please be careful and take it easy on yourself. At least consider the therapist."
I shook my head.
"As long as I'm with Eli," I whispered, "I'll be okay."
ELI'S PERSPECTIVE
"Sure , no problem...yes, I'll try to convince her," I quickly hung up on Clare's mother, seeing that Clare had finally arrived at The Dot, looking beautiful and as breath taking as ever.
"Hey," she whispered, clearing her throat and I asked, "You okay?"
Clare's cheeks were slightly red, I'm assuming from walking around in the cold with just a light jacket and leggings, plus the fact that she shouldn't be walking around in the cold winded weather. But of course, being as stubborn as ever, she insisted on me not picking her up, so I let her walk.
"I'm fine Eli," she hissed and I said apologetically, "Come on Clare, you know I'm just-."
"Just what Eli? Just what?" Tears started to form on the rims of her eyelids as she blinked them away quickly, thinking that I wouldn't see them in time, but even she knows better than that.
"Clare, I'm just being a boyfriend," I stated as she retorted tiredly, glaring down, "Then be a good one and just feed me a burger...I'm hungry."
I smirked, placing my hand beneath her trembling chin, forcing her to look up into my eyes as I licked my lips slightly, inching my face towards hers, our lips were inches away as I breathed out, "What kind of hamburger do you want?"
"W-what's a hamburger?" She asked nervously and I smirked, pressing her lips to mine as my heat radiated into her mouth, immediately making her knees buckle in defeat of pleasure.
I wrapped my arms gently around her body, not wanting to hurt her as her hands gently rested on my shoulder, gripping onto it every now and then. My lips curled into a smirk as she pulled away, the tears from her eyes were now invisible.
"Now, how about that hamburger...you know, if you know what that is," I jokingly said as her smile lit up my world, shining brightly beyond sunglasses could repair, and a piece of my heart must have sank into my stomach, realizing that I won't be able to look at that smile everyday for the rest of my life...
CLARE'S PERSPECTIVE
"If you come in, promise me that you won't be freaked out by the needles and stuff," I said nervously, interlocking my hands together as Eli scoffed, "Come on Clare, it's me...blood and needles and 'stuff' are my specialty."
I smirked and said, "You do make a valid point."
"Yes, yes I do," he mumbled as I walked into the room where many of my chemo "friends" were already in the circle, hooked up to their IVs.
When I saw one of my friends, I smiled at him and asked him as I took a seat, when they started hooking me up, "How are you feeling?" His eyes had bags beneath them and he seemed overly exhausted, "You know Clare...same old, same old. I'm just, tired of this."
"Anyways," he cleared his throat and sat up, "W-who's your friend?"
"O-oh right," I smiled, realizing Eli had pulled up a chair next to me and I said, "Adam, this is my b-boyfriend Eli...Eli, this is Adam, he's been here for over two years now and still going strong."
"Yeah," Adam laughed, holding out his hand and Eli smirked, shaking it as Adam said, "That's what they tell me...but, we all know that's a lie."
"Don't think so negatively," Eli said in response to Adam's comment and his eyebrows tightened in confusion as Eli continued, "I-I mean, I read in this cancer book that if you think negatively, that things can turn out negatively."
My heart swelled, knowing that Eli has been reading about my situation to try and help me out to the best of his abilities...
"Well, maybe you should turn the page next time and see the picture of the casket," my heart raced, thinking about death and how close it is to me.
It became silent, the tension between all of us growing thicker and thicker as Adam cleared his throat while whispering, "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to upset you Clare, or even Eli. I'm just not having a good day, too much on my mind."
"It's fine...," we both said as I closed my eyes, feeling a bit more tired than usual as I heard Adam and Eli start to converse about comic books. Being that I'm not a big comic book person, this made me feel even more tired as I felt Eli's hand interlock with mine when I drifted into a deep sleep...
ELI'S PERSPECTIVE
After four hours, Clare had successfully slept through her whole chemo therapy session and I smirked, seeing the nurse take out her IV and she didn't even flinch. I spent the whole four hours talking to Clare's friend, Adam. I think that four hours with this dude was enough to satisfy my comic talk needs.
"No," I quickly broke my chain of thought as the nurse was about to wake her, "D-don't...don't wake her up, she hasn't been sleeping well and the fact that she finally fell asleep, just please, I'll carry her out."
"Aw," Adam said as the nurse smiled and said, "Okay...and you are?"
"Her boyfriend," I answered and Adam then "Aw'd" in response to every question the nurse asked me. I smiled when the nurse called Ms. Edwards, not trusting me and then she came back, "You're authorized to take her home, but please don't drop her."
"I would never," I told the nurse as she smiled, "Great, I assume I'll see you two back here tomorrow, except on time."
"Yes m'am," my smirk curled into a grin as I placed my hand beneath Clare's light legs and I said, to Adam, "I'll see you tomorrow dude? Oh, and I'll bring you that stack of comics from the third volume I told you about?"
He nodded, "Oh please dude, give em' to me! You know, normally I wouldn't accept a boyfriend of Clare's, but...let's just say you're cooler than her mom."
"I'm glad to know I meet your standards," I whispered while smirking at him as he waved lightly, and I gripped Clare tighter in my arms as I felt Clare clutch her hands onto my shirt, tugging slightly as she moaned lowly in her sleep.
"Home," I heard her whimper and I smirked while whispering, "I'm taking you home Clare."
I kissed her on her temple, making her nose scrunch in response and I scoffed lowly, trying not to wake her as I used my right arm to cover her face with the inside of my jacket to keep the wind from hitting her...
"No, no Ms. Edwards I'm fine, no thank you," I told her reassuringly as she asked, "Are you sure Eli? Are you sure you don't want some food? I'm usually hungry after sitting with Clare, so I just assumed you both would be awake so I made a lot of food...but, I'm sorry Clare fell asleep on you."
"I-uh, no offense, but with all due respect, it's completely normal for Clare to feel...tired ," I whispered shyly as she nodded, "I know Eli, she's always tired."
Helen faced the window in the kitchen and I could see her reflection in the window, as she was biting back her bottom lip and her back rose up quickly, signaling tears were probably falling down her face.
"Ms. Edwards, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you...it's just, I read up in this book that after a Chemo session the patients who receive it are usually very tired so it's normal or a part of the cancer treatment to make her feel a little drowsy and tired," I added onto my information as Ms. Edwards turned around to face me, smiling through her tears and she asked, "Y-you read the books Eli?"
"Of course," I whispered and she said, "You know you didn't have to do that."
"It's not that I didn't have to, I wanted to do it, I want to know what she's going through," I said as my legs grew weak, feeling a little dizzy myself from just thinking about the possibility of Clare not being able to...to live her life.
"Are you okay Eli? You should sit down, you look kind of pale," Ms. Edwards placed a hand on my shoulder and I said, "I-I'm sorry, just...yeah."
"Honey, maybe you should eat a little and I'll call Cece, tell her you're not feeling too well so then you can sleep here," she recommended, not even asking my opinion on her plan as she went to the phone to call Cece, loving every minute of telling my mother how I am spending the night with the Edwards.
It seems as if Ms. Edwards is very lonely with Clare being sick and her husband out of her life for good. She really had no one to talk to so I think that me staying over would give her a break with Clare and all of the stress.
"Your mom said you can stay as long as you sleep on the floor and be polite," Helen said and I smirked, "S-sure, it's fine...I'm just, actually kind of hungry. If you don't mind, can I take a piece of that chicken you made?"
"Of course," she said, her face lighting up with happiness that someone was finally eating her cooking, because knowing Clare, being that she is hungry quickly and then full the next, Helen's food must go to waste half the time.
As I took a bite out of the food on my plate, I smiled as Helen made eye contact with me and she said, "I uh...Eli, I really want to thank you for everything you've been doing with Clare."
"Again ," I whispered as she interrupted me, "Call me Helen, please."
"Well, Helen, I do stuff like reading the books, signing up for the breast cancer walks and taking her to her chemo sessions because, it's something that I want to do. I don't look at Clare like she's a dying flower like most people who know about her condition do, I look at her...kind of like a confused soul," I said, taking a sip of my ice tea and then placing the cup back down on the table.
"What do you mean by a lost soul?" She asked and I smiled, "You know...kind of just, wandering around the Earth in search of a place where she feels like home, like everyone treats her like an equal and not like she has the disease."
"That's...that's really interesting Eli," Helen whispered while she turned back around to face me and said, while nervously tapping her coffee mug, "I'm sure Clare listens to what you say Eli...so I found this therapist who works in Clare's hospital and I would really like her to give this woman a chance. She knows all about Cancer, battling it and living through it. There's a lot of things that I believe are cluttered in Clare's mind because she's constantly blanking out, just staring into the oblivion sometimes and it scares me. I know she has you to talk to, but maybe if she talked..."
"To a therapist then she would be able to get everything that is anything off of her mind," I interrupted her as she smiled, "Can you convince her Eli? I mean, I'm sure you can go with her if that'd make the visit any better."
"I'll do my best ," I said while getting up from the kitchen table, startling Clare's mother slightly and I smirked, placing the empty dish that looked like it didn't even have to be cleaned, considering it looked like I licked it clean, placing it in the sink.
"Thank you again for the food," I told her as she placed a hand on my shoulder and said, "Thank you for eating my food, Eli."
"Anytime," I glanced around awkwardly as she said, "Oh right, sleeping arrangements...so, you can take Clare's room, with Clare, only if you don't wake her. For the whole week she falls asleep talking to you, so maybe now that you're here, you can whisper to her or something to keep her sleeping because she's only been sleeping for at most, two to three hours at night."
I smiled, not being able to hold myself back as I wrapped my arms around Helen, thanking her repeatedly for this night, the night where I can finally spend the it sleeping with the woman of my dreams.
"Don't get too excited Eli," she said and then continued while unwrapping my arms from her, "I'm just warning you, Clare tends to have night terrors...so, if she wakes you up during the night, don't be alarmed."
"I won't," I smirked and then said, "Goodnight ."
As I trotted up Clare's steps, I quietly tip toed into her room, being sure to close the door behind me as I slowly removed my jacket and shoes, placing them on the wooden floor.
I smiled, making my way towards Clare, noticing that she had a huge spot open next to her and I gladly filled in that empty place as she turned on to her side. When she absentmindedly wrapped her arm around my hip, tugging me closer to her, I smiled as Clare buried her head into my shoulder.
"Hm," I heard her moan as she inhaled my scent. After an hour of glancing around her room aimlessly, enjoying the silence and beauty before my eyes, and once I knew she was deep into her slumber, I kissed her temple and whispered, "I love you Clare Edwards...I just wish I could say it to your face."
With that, I closed my eyes, enjoying the darkness before my eyelids and I thought back to the very first day I met Clare, back in freshman year and ever since the moment I glanced into those innocent blue eyes, I knew that for once, I finally had something wonderful in my life...
END OF CHAPTER 4
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Cliffhanger Girl
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