AN: Anyone wanting the 'Japanese Clear Soup' recipe should PM me. It's delicious and a great sinus-clearer when made with chili sauce.

SwordStitcher-Banana medicine? Congratulations, you're about to make me sick...again. I think I just threw up a little.

Kira Tsumi-Stop encouraging her. No, keep encouraging her! I love having an adoring public. All those toys, just asking to play with me...

Stomach flu. Someone-probably one of Falcone's goons-had given him the stomach flu. Idiots! Had they never heard of washing their hands? Really?

He had been planning on getting up and going to work anyway, but Kitty warned him that she could and would tie him down if he didn't stay home. He doubted she could, but he didn't really want to find out.

He was lying on the couch, watching The Silence of the Lambs, when there was a knock on the door. He hadn't ordered anything lately. God, one of the neighbors had come over. He hated their neighbors, especially the ones in 1406. They were always doing things late at night.

Maybe he could ignore whoever it was. Surely they wouldn't stand there all day.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Okay, maybe they would.

He groaned and struggled up to pause his movie. What did they want with him?

It turned out to be their other neighbors, the quiet ones. They'd tried to be friendly early on. Was it worth opening the door?

"Doctor Crane? Are you okay?"

How did they know he was home?

Open the door. Otherwise they might call the police or something.

At least Granny's house had been in the middle of nowhere.

"May I help you?"

"Doctor Crane, hi." Oh, god, it was their college-age daughter. If it was one thing he wasn't in the mood for, it was a college student. "I didn't see you leave today, I thought something might be wrong?"

A neighbor-watching college student? He hated people sometimes.

You hate them all the time.

So do you.

Yeah, but I admit it.

"Nothing's wrong."

Can we gas her?

Technically, yes. Actually, no.

"Sorry to bother you…"

"It's quite all right." Slightly creepy, though… "Good morning."

He shut the door and retreated to the couch. Sometimes he wished he could have an apartment building all to himself.

He'd barely gotten comfortable again when the phone rang. If it was a telemarketer, he was going to hunt them down and use them as a test subject.

"Hello?"

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. If I don't eat anything, I'll be fine."

"There might be some chicken soup in the freezer."

No. That was not going to happen today.

"Okay."

"Go to sleep, yeah? Don't…do anything today."

"I won't."

"Good. Night, love."

He hung up and reached for the remote. Hopefully he could be left alone now. He waited a few minutes to make sure that nothing else would happen, then pushed play.

"It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again."

He loved that line. It was just so…terrible. God, he would have loved to get one of those on his couch. Or his table.

Be quiet, I'm trying to watch.

He rolled his eyes and pulled the blanket up to his shoulders.

Isn't that Kitty's?

Be quiet, I'm trying to watch.

Someone's gonna be in trouble!

She'll never know.

Besides, it was warm and she wasn't here. If she'd been home he would have lain down across her lap. This was the next best thing.

God, you're a sap.

Shut up, Scarecrow.

The straw man chuckled and Jonathan felt him settling down. He tucked his hands under the pillow and closed his eyes.

Kitty considered it a success when she got in without knocking anything over. Not bad, considering she had an armful of groceries.

Jonathan was curled up on the couch, wrapped in her fluffy blanket. Fine. He could use it this one time. What had he been watching…Scooby Doo. She knew it! He always watched Scooby Doo when he was sick. She wouldn't wake him just yet. Now she could enjoy her shower without Scarecrow coming in and taking all the hot water.

Ahh. Shower. No matter how clean Arkham was, she always left feeling grimy. It was probably the sickening characters they got from time to time. Croc was particularly bad. That thing ate people! Who did that? Nutter.

Jonathan slept through the blow-dryer, too. Good. He hated taking sick days and she didn't like to deal with him when he had to have one. Besides, Rachel Dawes had called earlier. She hated that woman. Who did she think she was, the city's savior? Gotham was as corrupt as they came. Why couldn't she just accept that and move on? But noo, she had to be a busybody and stick her overly-large nose where it didn't belong. One of these days…

It was time to wake him. Hopefully she'd get Scarecrow, who would be in a better mood.

"Jonathan? Love? Wake up, it's time for supper."

He blinked and fumbled for his glasses. She gave him a few minutes to come to all the way before mentioning supper again.

"I can defrost the chicken noodle or I can make you Japanese clear soup."

"Japanese?"

"I got the ingredients for that."

He nodded and sat up. He was oddly well-behaved this evening. Maybe he was too sick to care about going in. She wouldn't mention Dawes tonight, then. If he went in tomorrow she'd bring it up.

"Ten minutes at the most." she called. "Just keep out of the way, I don't want this."

He shrugged. If he got her sick, she was going to kill him. Or at least make him miserable until she felt better.

Hm…it might be nice to have a butler. Could she get him to dress up?

It took fifteen minutes because the carrots refused to soften up. By the time she'd gone back in, he was sitting up, still wrapped in her blanket.

"Just a bit. And I left out the chili sauce this time."

"Thank you."

"So," she said, throwing her shoes off into the corner, "what did you do all day?"

"I think I fell asleep."

"Good. Eat that, take a shower, and go to bed."

"I've been in bed!"

"You've been on the couch."

He frowned and reached for the bowl. If he spilled anything on that blanket…

"Did anything happen at work?"

The Dawes information could wait.

"No."

"You wouldn't tell me anyway, would you?"

"No."

He was quiet after that.